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back from the naughty step after the twittery last night
i'm busy at work doing some web design and IT security presentations.. and facebook and b3ta..

what are you being paid to do or are you without a job because of the recession/being lazy
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

Fend clients off for as long as possible
while poncing about on the internet and hoping not to get caught.

And eating a mint cornetto.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

i would kill for one of them
although i do like a cider lolly
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

I don´t believe I´ve ever tried a cider lolly
Why have I never tried one?
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

cos you've never had 35p before
and met uncle bri the icecream man
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

Just one cornetto
Give it to me
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

Delicious ice-cream, of Italy
Vanilla and strawberry dream
Give me Cornetto
From Wall's ice cream.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

Internet shame avoidance is the game we all play at work
Its a sport or sorts
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

fastest alt-tab first

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

*Accidentally expands to full screen*
*fails*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

u i
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Same thing, innit?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

Nah, CTRL+TAB
Go to the work related webpage!
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

didnt Godzuki get fired for that?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

I cmd+w like a frenzied lesbian, myself.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

I just click another tab to be honest
Keyboards are too much work
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

I press the reset button everytime someone gets within 15 meters of my PC.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

accompanied by a high-pitched squeal and flinching, I imagine

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

I'm doing some Audio Editing and Cataloguing

Arm & Hammer WOW
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

I'll let the internet answer this for me.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Accounts.
What twittery thing?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

We turned /talk into /twitter

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

/Talk already is Twitter
Just with a higher concentration of twats and some icons.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I'm being paid to have the day off.
BEAT THAT, SHITDICK.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

And to eat Vegemite and Cheese on Toast.
You lot are fat. This is probably of great interest. Try it.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

you are michael owen AICMFP

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

No.
Guess again.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

Haven't seen you online in a while
Where have you been?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

Doing much better things than this.
I hear you're quite the internet target these days. I would like to point out that though I was there at the beginning, it's not my doing.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

I'm pissing about stealing music, and laughing at the bairn.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

are you in HMV

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

No, I'm at home.
Nobody leaves the house to steal music anymore, christ.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

*sadface*

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

don't ask me why I don't have a job,
but I do have a "PLAN".
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

Are you a Cylon?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

possibly.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Thats exactly the sort of thing a Cylon would say!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Did you try and take over board too?

(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

I don't know what I do anymore
I will find out more in a week.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

well, i'm about to leave the internet and go and sort out someone's IT problem
bye
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

I MISS YOU ALREADY.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

do it remotely so you don't have to leave b3ta
logmein pro ftw
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Writing shit.
It's fucking quality
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

What letter are you on? H? I?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

I never manage to get past the i
I have some sort of pavlovian reaction and have to go running for the bogs.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

ME TOO! if I'm trying to type shi
...oh no....too late D:

*waddles*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

I'm working hard(ish)
Making out shipping invoices and stuff.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Today I have been paid to roll into work at 3.15.
Since getting here I've booked a flight to the UK & browsed the web a bit.

Later, I might use the toilet.
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

Shitting at work is a good way to save money on toilet paper

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

I just don't wipe my arse
after 3 weeks a solid bum-cast of poo just falls off and I leave it in the street, I huff and gallop away like a horse so not to rouse and suspicion.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

Eating crisps and drinking tea.
Sexily.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

So who's attending this b4sh that I too am attending?
Who's already a gentle mixture of excited and wound up to the point of tears?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

me

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

*High, sea-spanning fives!*
Did you hear about Neil's latest crash that was in no way his fault?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

It's big news in the North of France.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

I imagine it was the fault of some "BASTARD SURRENDER-MONKEY"
who doesn't know how to drive, despite doing the speed limit and being in the correct lane.
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

"Scottish driver in a French made van. Driving for an Italian company."
..and in NO WAY his fault. Apparently.
That's pretty much concrete.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

was he hammered?

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

No. But that's not important.
Why aren't you back for Ritchie's wedding?
I've got more material then is being used for his waistband. This'll only go to waste on shit people.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Money
July is MY month (and Matty's I suppose)... that fat fuck is encroaching on my action...

video neil's sweaty, stammery speech
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

I AM!
but that's nothing to do with the b4sh
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

You're attending a b4sh?
The world has changed greatly.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

If I went and you didn't turn up, I'd track you down and make you shit out your spleen onto a ricecake.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

I imagine a few on here don't know what a rice-cake is.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

JMG.
Despite not being a particularly fat man, I am on a diet.

This should set an example to all the fat miserable internets, but it won't.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

i am not on a diet
but my fitness is improving due to exercise

i also will fail to inspire my fellow men, no doubt
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Exercise is next on my list.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

runrunrun
it's working for me
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

I'm going to get a bike I think.
OH WAIT, THAT WOULD OPEN UP TOO MANY HILARIOUS JOKE OPPORTUNITIES :(((((
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

HAHAH BUD AAAAA you ride a BIKE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH roffle raffle lolz! It's got pedals and shit! AHHHHHH!!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Yes. Your Mum.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHJFUCKTHISWEAKSHITHOMEBOY
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

OH SHIT DOG YOU WENT TOO FAR
I'M GOING TO PUT A BOTTLECAP IN YO ASS BO-OI-OY!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

I'M AFRAID I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR EBONICS AS I AM FAT, WHITE, MIDDLE CLASS AND LIVE IN SCOTTISH SLUMLANDS.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

EEVA DO I.
WHERE'S MY INHALER?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

that would also be good
presumably there would be nice places to ride near you

i mean... ahem
O RLY?! WHAT'S HER NAME AHAHAHA
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

There's the whole of the South Down and the coast road.
YES, I WILL RIDE A BIKE ON A MONGFACE.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

sounds good. i haven't ridden my bike in a looong time
THE ISLE OF WIGHT HAS A BUS SERVICE CALLED THE DOWNS TOUR
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I laugh every time we drive past Down's Hotel in Brighton
cr3 looks at me disapprovingly.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

Do you snigger all the way through that area
Being the South Downs and all :P
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

I'VE BEEN TO MINEHEAD, UK CAPITAL FOR DOWN'S SYNDROME.
I saw a Down's today. He was about 28 stone in weight and had a tongue like a fashionable neck tie.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

i was helping out with a charity 10k run last sunday
there was a down's running. he did pretty well and got very excited when we cheered him over the finish line
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

Were you actually watching "The Ringer"?

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

I've been doing exercises every day this past two weeks,
haven't lost a pound yet.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Should have gone to Specsavers.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

oh yeah
"exercises" hmm.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

yes
like sit-ups and shit.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

what kind of exercise? are you really working at it?
you have to eat kind of healthily too
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

It gets me tired out,
and I don't eat junk anyway.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

keep trying

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

Don't forget that muscle weighs more than fat

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

yeah I'm hoping that's what's going on,
it's a lot easier now than when I first started so something's definitely happening.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

for them, it'll be a RIS cake
(

vladimir, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOHNOMYFEETAREWET

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

oh dear.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

Some forrin muck from the 'chinky' no doubt.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

NOW NOW, LET'S NOT HIDE BEHIND A THIN VEIL OF CASUAL RACISM.
Summer time is CAPS TIME.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

MORE LIKE RICISM
*applause sign lights up*
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

IRIE
Word up homes... How's life on the south coast?
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

SWEATY.
And you?
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

MUCH THE SAME. MAN MUSK A GO-GO
I'm glad we had this chat. Nice to see you about the place, rattling some chubby cages.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

DON'T BE A STRANGER, ESPECIALLY THOSE CREEPY TYPES WITH STAINED COATS AND FORLORN EYES

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

*turns basecap backwards*
YEAH!
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

I let the INTERNET decide what I'm getting from the chinese

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Ask them for CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA with EXTRA poppadoms

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

CAKE!
etc
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

i would like to point out that i signed up before you
everyone who signed up after you is only coming so they can say they've breathed your air
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

Ha!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

imagine if one got drunk and took a swing at you
they'd be dining out on 'the time i beat up jmg' for months
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

I'll probably be there

(

SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

I even signed up before you so I can't be accused of only going to see you
(but that's mostly the case).
(

SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

Oh, JMG
Why?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

I shall be attending my sister's wedding
So I will be unavailable for that entire day.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

Might do.
Probably won't.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

WHAT

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

While the 'might do' is there, there's still hope.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

don't make me hunt you down

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

It'll be like the running man.
I'm the Puerto Rican chick.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

*Firm tens*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

It's my life-mantra.
*fist bonk*
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

You best had.
or binky will cry and I'll have to comfort her.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

If that's the case, I'll not turn up.
then hide in the bushes and watch the 'comforting'
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

SO MEAN.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

I WANT to.
depends on travel costs/time.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

it's FINE
i don't even WANT to meet you
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

I will be there but you won't be centre of attention unfortunately
Because I'll be there.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

neither will you because i'll be there
anyone else fancy some one-upmanship?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

heheheh don't be silly, I'm DG, like a Down's Syndrome Ring Master

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

BM doesn't like hanging out with us in public because he isn't centre of attention
And he got in trouble last time for trying to stab a woman with a biro
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

us? how many of you are there?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

us as in 'b3tans'
Or is it because I wear a mirrorsuit and no one knows how many of me there really are.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

i'm pretty sure there are -4 of you

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

sssshhhhhhhhh
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

I'll be there, dressed as an attractive woman
first to honk my chest gets a free pint
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

Sweeeeet
Free pint within 2 minutes of being there.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

*crams goose down your cleavage*

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

I'll be representing the more perverted b3ta contingent.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Thanks.

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Hello you.
Are you saddlesore?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Not in the slightest, ta,
I am, however, wishing I was still on holiday.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Were kids trying to ride on your back at Blackpool again?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

I bet.
Where did you go, what did you see, did you leave the womenfolk lamenting?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, Switzerland, Liechtenstein, Austria, Italy.
Saw loads everywhere, got snowed on at 120mph on the Stelvio Pass, was very well behaved.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

Very jealous.
When it's big bike o clock in a year or so I'll have to do something similar :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

It was several shades of awesome.
2100 miles of avoiding motorways and a superb week in a villa on Lake Como. I want to be back in Switzerland now, please.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Can someone represent my contingent?
I'm not even sure what contingent that is. But I demand representation.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

I'll punctuate every sentence with EE HAW HEE HAW if you like

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Just end every conversation by walking away, shaking your head and taking a drag on your cigarette

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

BOF.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

are you coming in full furry regalia?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

it might be a bit hot for that
and I think the torches and pitchforks might leave marks
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

fair enough
because i don't understand real furries, i just imagine people in the tanooki suit from mario
www.freewebs.com/countconkula/Tanooki%20Mario.JPG
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

there are more penises.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I'm going Jammers.
I shall offer you out now, ONLINE.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

Flashmobbing by accident!
bollocks!! why didn't I follow Rob on Twitter sooner so I could go to the accidental flashmob

guttage!!
(Anne Frank started to build a loft conversion on, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

How quaint.

(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

You'd have to be as blind as Anne Frank to miss it

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

Famous blind person Anne Frank?

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

She got two Stars of David caught in her eyes at an early age

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

anne frank, stevie wonder
i'm always getting them confused
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

one is black
and the other was born that way.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Or Helen Keller.
WHEEEEEEEE DAY OFF WORK AND THIS IS WHERE I END UP.

:(
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

oh dear bud
oh dear oh dear

but also, hello
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

HELLO YOU.
I'm off out in a minute, so it's not so bad. I've only logged in to ego-search and check my mails.

I do wish people would stop sending me WELCOME BACK mails on the rare five minute visits I make.

YOU SHOULD COME ROUND TO MINE WHEN FF AND BLUE STAR DO.
(

Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

there are words, here.
I'm sure they are words. They just don't form sentences or mean anything.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

should have put it in your diary

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

Come to the other flashmob

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

Guttage indeed

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

i believe it is a term for the guttering you get on cottages
what its relevance is here, i don't know
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

Hold on
You'll be one of those cunts wailing away on those vodafone or tmobile ads like they are so delightfully new meeja and cutting edge wouldnt you?

Fuck you.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

Guttage Cheese is what you've got on your bellykins :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

happy birthday.
I'm a premature celebrater.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

Spank you. It's Wednesday
Now please wipe your 'celebration' off the bedcovers.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

i knew this
because we are Internet Friends
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

*special handshake and glasses adjusting whilst wheezing*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

we're palmsweat brothers now

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

you know that won't work.
we tried it before. the curry stains distract they eye though, so you're ok.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

Hey Look!
I've just taken a picture of this event on my piece-of-shit™ cameraphone
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

I found the singing one with Pink was better than the vodaphone one.
It wasn't so "Copy a cliche from the net and make it comercial".
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

You can't be going to flashmobs if you're going to avoid the Nazis
No wonder they caught you
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

I'm not allowed to say anything in this thread because it may be dull and boring...
you know, informing a user that I think their point of view is shit...

nevermind...
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

old mother hubare
went to the cubare
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

this brings an apostrophe to my colon
and causes an opening bracket :'(
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

Everyones point of view is shit
from somebodys point of view
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

yeah but that somebody is shit

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

Very insightful
were you socrates in a former life?
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

i still am

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

Good Afternoon JMG Fans. B3ta's hero is on.
What's being handled by the heavy, this afternoon?

/edit
I'm sorry, I was side-tracked by MSN.
Me! MSN!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

Pies, I'd wager.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

The heat is making me sweat like a granny's arsehole and it's playing with my diabetes and asthma
I need a lie down and a bucket of ice cream and maybe some Ginster's pasties, stat.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

I've lost weight JMG.
I'm bastard gorgeous me.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

SHIT YES!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

*Firm handshakes parade*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

someone chop your legs off guv?
bastards.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

I had a chicken sandwich for dinner
And now I feel a bit sickly
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

@tension
seeking
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

c@ legs

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

@aboy

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

stop dem&ding @tention

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

He'll do it ~ cows come home.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

this is my favourite!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

demampersanding?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

if we're going to be pedantic it would be
'Stop demampersanding atsigntention
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

Personally I don't read M&S as 'M ampersand S'

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

I don't read it as "Mands", either.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Manly hands.
Mands.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

Thanks mands.
Thands.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

good luck, Hans
Glans.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

No pedant would call it an "at sign".

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

But that's what it is.
What do you call it?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

A "commercial at".

(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

That's way beyond pedantry.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

Thank you.
My dad was in the print trade for thirty-odd years, so he's almost certainly to blame.
(

L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I like how 'More Th>n' has the 'more than' symble in their name, as it look a bit like an 'a'.
It's all very clever maketing.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

@#é case

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

tw@

;)
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

YES!
Well spotted, Baldman.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

thank christ you're here
the last post was shit
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

good timing, jammers
how goes the construction of jmg-world?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

I've paid local Mafia to chase off the fatter homeless.
Excellent work.

You rarely see a fat homeless man.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

presumably, there are some who start off fat
there's research to be done here but i'm none to keen to do it
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

sorry
~~research~~ chubby tramps
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

i'm even less keen then

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

I've drank lots of Perrier, I feel very laa-de-da

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

more than usual?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

I'm double hard me.
This one time I saw a 2 frogs piggy-backing each other and the bottom one screamed at me and I didn't run away. 100% true story.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

you show those mean ol' frogs that you won't be intimidated, dg
*frisbees another biscuit*
i could do this all day
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

*biffs off forehead again*
*still didn't notice*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

Pleb
San Pellegrino is better. Word.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

I bet the tables at Pizza Express give you a right Nubble-On

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

I can't go into Pizza Express without having a pizz-on for their Sloppy Giuseppes

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

I had an Etna last night
due to late train arrival resulting in the nearest good Italian being closed.

i give it 5.5 badgers out of 10. Surprisingly spicy.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

Mourn the state of pizzas here TMB
They stick raw eggs in the middle. RAW EGGS. Much shaking of heads ensues.

Of course I could ask for it without the egg but that's just cheating.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

I will be in your fair city in 5 weeks
Woo.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

NOT VISITING ME THOUGH
You heartless fool you
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

I'm not heartless
:(
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

that's an Italian trick too
and they claim they invented the pizza. The CHEEK.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

You aren't switch-hitting on us, are you DG?
I'd be very :(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Oh hell no Jammy, I'm not going up Bottom Street just yet
I'm eating the bottles after I've finished.

I just found out that all the posh water I drank was for a boardroom meeting and wasn't in the fridge to help ourselves. I'm hiding the evidence.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

oh dg, you and your escapades

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

My life is like the world's most boring twitter feed

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

I'm down in That London, Jammy.
and considering which combination of beverage and sporting event to use to pass the day.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

Equestrianism and absinthe
Take a blade with you.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

I like this.
I was thinking of strolling into Wimbledon and offering a couple of those mens ponces outside, as it goes. A blade would up the ante somewhat.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

Botulism for both answers

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

Do my favourite London activities of
Girl Watching and Tomato Juice
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

I'm in the dark like you JMG
We are outsiders to the writhing jelly-fingered masses.
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

It's my fault and you're just antagonising people.
Same as always.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

different sorts of vacuum cleaner.
it's a heated debate. Serious internet is going on.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

waste of time
they all suck
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

and when they don't suck, they blow.
can't win, really.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

SERIOUS BIZNESS.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

I would like a job that will pay me to have 3 months off in the summer
So I can go sunbathing. Why is this not possible?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

just get a job that pays 1/3 more,
and save up the extra.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

I'm not sure that would work sadly

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:51, archived)

She'd spend it all on booze

(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

or shooze

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

These are both very true points

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

you are too valuable a commodity to release for so long
:)
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Pfft

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

don't laugh
I'm being kind
:)
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

move to spain
August is pretty much a useless holiday month, apparently.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

~~August~~ Every month
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

Bastard

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

Wouldn't 3 months a year sunbathing leave you looking like an old chamois leather?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

Most likely
I would do other fun summer things too though, not just sunbathing. I'd probably get bored of sunbathing for that long anyway.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

I'm not sure I could manage 3 minutes sunbathing
I went out on my new cycle yesterday and the UV hitting my nerd arms caused great distress.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you. Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting. Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin. We could make a fucking suitcase out of you. Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard. You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? Stay here? You should be ashamed of yourself. Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

It's just one of my favorite quotes =/

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

It's a quote and a half, that is.
Almost two quotes.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

Good Noon!
Works has been fairly dull today, apart from a brief panic over losing 6 months worth of an executives sent emails but then I realised I don't actually care.

I have mostly been orchestrating "woodpecker from mars" in my head and it occurred to me that a woodpecker would have a really hard time on mars due to the lack of wood on said planet.

I think we should start an immediate program of re-forestation and pollenate mars.

Then we could finally justify NASAs ape-based rocket program and send monkeys to mars

martian monkeys they would be called.

would they drink umbongo though?
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

Ki-ora

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

On a rocketship made of hopes and dreams as the elephant rides the tortus to victory in the race of their lives.
hahahahha, lololololol, fuck off.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

What's with all the aggresion gonz?

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

I just don't know anymore, gonz.
=(((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

lol turning into Wormulus lol
Wormulus is shit lol
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

lol was doing that way before you did.
probaby lol copying lol sleepyblinky.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

lol not even a meme anyway, just a way of posting that happened by itself lol

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

lol ok then, fair enlolough.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

Yes and they'd all wear novelty ties and be the office joker.

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

Jesus, even your fucking irritating username is lolwhacky and random.

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

no, this is random
o;weihefw'efpj43w'[9ru2234w8yref2h23w4e8ryfgq74ye8wur'3847ygtru9erpu3ewh;tgi;taye;rlghaer;kgh;o8oi6d6l7fd

dullard
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

IMAGINE IF BABOONS WENT TO THE MOON!
mental!
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

Someone's really wanting that 'lolwhacky' crown
You're approaching Syncubus levels of nonsense now
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

you can keep it

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

Tl;dr.
Fuck off, shitlamp.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

a woodpecker would probably also have trouble flying
in the 1/100th pressure atmosphere, even with the 1/3 gravity.
But I'm no expert.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

by gods you're right
scrap that idea
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

There is actually an 'inner Mars' with trees and monkeys aplenty
The inner Mars corner shops do not sell Um Bongo though so it is unlikley the Martian monkeys would have a chance to sample it.
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

they still get Quosh though
which more than makes up for it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

I've not heard of that
is it a combination of squash and quorn?
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

any drink can quench a thirst,
but only Quosh can quosh it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

it's like normal squash but without the beef
you guys do have beef in your squash, right?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

Gah.
Code breakage and I can't be bothered to type it out. But! Dyson filter housing be missing due to idiot partner. I have spent my last tenner on the filter and have nothing to put it in.

I would like to know some housework related stories.
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Is this another one of those threads where we're supposed to encourage a story out of you?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

No, a >:( face broke my post.

(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

I hoovered and dusted my house on Saturday morning
The went to buy a cheap mountain bike with a 22" frame and spent the afternoon putting it together and adjusting it.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:43, archived)

Grime & Punishment

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

To Kill A Moppingbird

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

War and Fleas

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

Don Jifote

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

The Bleach

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

Flash Gordon
oh...
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

The old man and the Cif

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

Brush (Crash)

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Bridget Jones : The Pledge dust and go of Reason

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

the handmaid's tale

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

The Bleach
Damn - Bogus beat me to it. That'll teach me for not reading all the previous posts.
(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

To kill a moppingbird

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:08, archived)

Pride and Pledgeudice.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

Dettol of a salesman

(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:10, archived)

Shake 'n' Vac to the future

(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:12, archived)

oh yes

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

Is that a book?
I thought we were doing books and plays
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

I don't care.
I'm referring, of course, to the novelisation of the film.
(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

Dirt Devil Dogs

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

A confederacy of dusters

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

Dr Jifago

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

Marigold finger

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:06, archived)

The Hooverer's Guide to the Galaxy
The Restaurant At The End Of The Hoovering
So Long And Thanks For All The Flash
Life, The Universe and Hoovering
Mostly Hoovers
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

Fail

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

If it's a DC07 I can probably hook you up with a filter housing.
(

C, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

Tis, it's an older one.
It only has one clip above the HEPA filter. Thing is, I wasn't aware it needed a full big old filter and only bought the thin cover for a filter.
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Is it this type:

farm4.static.flickr.com/3361/3670926489_bdea8e8800.jpg?v=0

If so gaz me your address and I'll pop it in the post today.
(

C, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

How do you just have one of those hanging around?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

I keep a huge stock of hoover parts in because it helps me to get random internet girls addresses sometimes.

Actually, I have an entire hoover in my shed with a burned out motor which I can't afford to replace.
(

C, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

Not quite.
I think it's one of these: Pic but all I got sold was a thin cover like this: Pic 2 and I'm not sure if I need the big bit underneath or not.
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

Ah no, mine's like this:

i23.ebayimg.com/04/i/001/4e/51/f695_1_b.JPG

You're welcome to it if it's any use, but it looks quite different to yours.
(

C, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

That's the type that fits in the side of the machine by the wheel.
I've just stuck the filter pad in where the HEPA filter should go and am hoping for the best.
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

I'm pretty sure you do need the big bit in - in fact I suspect the reason the motor in mine burned out was because my idiot ex girlfriend used it without the filter carriage.
(

C, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

To kill a moppingbird

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

Oh. I should read proper.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

The most housework I did at the weekend was vacuum the kitchen
And that was only because I had got compost all over the floor when repotting my herbs.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

I meant to do housework over the weekend
but we were out at a wedding on Saturday and it was too hot on Sunday so I didn't. If anyone else feels strongly enough about the state of the floors, I'm quite happy to show them where the hoover is.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

I have been ordered to get hoover bags
but I have no idea what sort of hoover we have
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

I can't believe how much crap a dyson can pick up
I had a bagless vac before and then i got my dyson and I was :O We are mucky bastards.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

I really need a decent vacuum
Mine is so crap.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

Dyson are quite good
they've got a 5-year guarantee and when my mum's one broke a man came out to her house to fix it. She's had it about 10 years now with only one issue. Pricey at first, but worth it.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Yeh I was thinking Dyson
I may go Ebaying for a refurbed one though as they are ridiculously expensive and I would rather spend my money on other things!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

or get it on a new store card
department stores love giving them away and you usually get 20% off your first shop with it. Pay it off and cut the card up. Simples.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

they are overpriced
and it's mostly marketing hype. Miele make the best vacuums by a country mile.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

I want a Henry

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

HENRY HENRY HENRY
King of hoovers, right there.

:)
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

just from 30 seconds of hoovering it picked up a ball of dust the size of a ping pong ball.
No wonder I'm getting sniffly.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Haha this^
I bought my new hoover before I moved out. Previously my parents had an old Dyson DC04. My brand new hoover made it look like we'd never cleaned the house :P
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

it's got bugger all to do with Dyson.
It's having a new machine that does it, plus the cyclones in a Dyson make the dirt more "obvious" in the clear bin

a vacuum is a vacuum. The clue is in the name. One can't be better than another at sucking, beyond basic power differences. The only thing that really makes a difference is having a powered spinning brush in the suction head for deep cleaning carpets and furniture. Try a Miele Cat&Dog.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

This
Dyson just put a spin on it all

Theyve got it in the bag....
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

My sister had a TT5000
It was absolute shit and the 10 year old DC01 my mum gave her worked better.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

I'm sure all companies make some duff individual appliances occasionally?
I'm not really talking about personal experinece here. It's just a statement of engineering fact, dyson's marketing hype is bullshit. beyond a very basic level that is achieved by all reasonable quality models, the vacuum part of a vacuum cleaner is identical. Dysons don't "suck better" because they can't.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

it can't do much for efficiency to have to suck through a paper bag, mind you.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:38, archived)

it's harder to suck through a HEPA filter than paper bag, by a mile*

*a mile being the official measure of vacuum inefficiency, obviously
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

I don't know what that is,
so I'll just say yeah, alright.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

high efficiency particulate air filter.
They are what we've used in the pharma and biotech industries for years for clean room air handling, till some bright spark decided to put them in a domestic vacuum cleaner. Yes, James Dyson, you again. Now everyone does it.

They are completely pointless in that role, save for almost certainly upping the rate of childhood asthma, and they cost a lot to replace, and block quite quickly. and have very small pores so restrict flow. Take them out, put a normal filter in, bosh, better cleaning.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

I don't even have a vacuum
TAKE THAT, MOTHERFUCKERS *dives off the roof, double black flip onto a motorbike, drives away into sunset*
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

I can't believe you youngsters are arguing about the merits of different types of hoovers.

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

Who cares about hoovers, yo
I'm a broom and dustpan kinda guy. Yeah, that's just how I roll, ladies.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

*swoon*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

our landlord bought us a new vacuum cleaner
it's one for houses with pets
we don't have pets, i think he got it because i have lots of hair
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

We have two cats. This one is my favourite:
I stole its front legs.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

so in fact you DO have cat legs

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

you have two cat LEGS

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

So, then, what you're telling us is that
BALDMONKEY HAS CAT LEGS.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

aw kittyn.
edit: CATLEGS CATLEGS
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I'm going to rape you.
But pretend you don't know.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I'll act surprised.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

did you pull the bones out
and wear the fur as cock puppets?
(

Malaka omdz, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

Complete with claws for her cervical pleasure.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

CATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCAT
CATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGSCATLEGS
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

You've also glued its face to a dandelion.
you CUNT.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

It's a fucking prick.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

strange,
it definitely does look like a dandelion.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

It's your favourite and you still call it a prick?
What do you call the other one?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Emerson Stranglewank III

/copyright Clairebare
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

BALDMONKEY HAS PUSSYPINS

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

what a handsome cat.
omg favouritism though, the other one is going to end up in a life of crime because of you.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

The other one is my wife's favourite, so it evens out.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Here it is:
the fucking cunt
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

i prefer this one
lol, i like your wife's pussy lol
*shoots self in head*
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

It's a fucking wanker.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

don't put it in the washing machine, whatever you do

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

especially not with whites

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

aren't we all?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

I fucking hate cats.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

so you have a cat and you took it's legs
so... hold on a second...
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

YOU HAVE CALTEGS

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

DOGARMS.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

TORTOISENECK

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

WASPNIPPLES

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

BEECHIN

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

HORSECOCK.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

DONKEYGUMS
no, wait...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

that's the worst insult of all

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

I know, I think I went too far

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

i wouldn't be surprised if you got stepped for this
wormulus has already gazzed cr3
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

Baldmonkey has got feline tibia

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

he doesn't have tibia. he has tabbya

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

...
...

...5 angels just grew backhair because of that joke
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

*runs around with shirt over head*

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

This sort of thing really hurts my felines (feelings).

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

Why don't we all paws and reflect on what a bad joke it was.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

it's a whisker away from being genuinely offensive

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

Humour like this really puts ME OWt of sorts.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

nobody's purrfect

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

I haven't got a favourite out of our cats.
They have favourites though. Aslan prefers Double F and Lilith prefers me. Twist isn't that arsed, she just stomps about the place shouting like she owns the place.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I like putting their heads in the vice.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

The Nancycat has been turned into a model citizen since she's not living with me any more.
I can't help but feel a bit bad.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

Good news! I just got back from Glastonbury and it was ace.
Bad news! I suspect I have meningitis.

What are your headlines for today?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Did you meet anyone there with an income lower than £35,000?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

just because they're poor it doesn't mean they're virulent

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

A girl i used to know went to glastonbury about a decade ago
She took one too many pills, joined a cult, ran away from home and ended up being gang raped by the people she ran off with.

So its not all bad there.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

That was her first mistake

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

She probably enjoyed it anyway

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Most of it

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Morning you old bastard

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Hello
It is afternoon now
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

A likely story,
you knew a girl? Nice try.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I lolled

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Its true
I dont know any

:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

I would imagine she did.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

what does this matter?

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

kids get 35k pocket money a year :D

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

deleter
i replied!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

you're really boring with this constant need to reply to every post mykey does, really dull
just pointing that out to you, how dull and boring it is
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

GRASS
oh, wait.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

no it's wormulus that is so desperate to be a mod that he gazzes cr3 with other forum users comments he doesn't like

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

:(((
I send cr3 links to the profiles of trolls, spammers and bous.
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

that is one of the most pathetic things i've seen a forum user do, well done to you, you do realise that nobody has any trust in you

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Don't rise to him, you know he's only bored.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Why?
They're the best bits
(

Malaka omdz, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

Don't draw attention to it.
I was enjoying the fact that I'd managed to spawn not one but two shit one-man bandwagons.

WOOP WOOP WOOP
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

as it happens, I wasn't even aware that I was...
looking back at my earlier posts (today) his posts were clearly the first ones I saw, being that they were at the top...

if you have been keeping track before this, well done you
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

i notice trends in peoples posting, i had to point out to badger how dull it was when he was following mykey around like a little dullard

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

keep up the good work

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

will do, nobody wants tedium to flourish
some one else will have to look after it this afternoon, i'm going now
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

righto

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

To be fair, it's also massively dull that Mykey pretends to have him on ignore.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

if he does or doesn't i don't think it makes much odds, posting shit comments to every post made by a forum user you don't like is a bit childish
still each to their own
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

it's almost as shit as shoe-horning disliked forum users' names into threads in their absence.
on a totally unrelated topic, obviously.
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

One of his
brilliant hilarious confrontation/attention seeking lolgeneralisations, I expect.
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

I am confused though...
does it mean that when you get a decent paid job, it's instantly not-the-done-thing to go to Glastonbury?
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

I think the suggestion is
that these days, the majority of glastonbury-goers are very well off but pretending to be hippies.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I was under the impression that this has pretty-much always been the case...
the poor can't afford to have a philosophy
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

She met me

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

loads of them, i would expect

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

Really?
Seriously? wow.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

yeah, i know

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

The vast majority of them, I'd wager.
EDIT: Thanks all you sexy, lovely, sexy people.
(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

You have a picture of a candle next to your name
Just so you know.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Five bloody years.
Ooh.
(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Bloody, burning, pain filled years

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Awww shit!
Missed my 6th year by 15 days.
(

OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

happy fifth year wasted!
i'm 2 months away from 6 years
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Happy b3taversarycandlemas

(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Happy friendly anniversary candle adoration day.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

happy thing something dog burp

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Oooh, happy b3taday.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

What a surprise
www.youtube.com/watch?v=louXPUW7tHU
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

It was cold, and it rained, and I felt like an actor

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

haaaappy candle

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Happy candlebums

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

Your candles on fire, with passion and love
the neighbours complain about the noises above..
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

ahhh you think you're so pretttyyyyyyy

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

END THE OPRESSION OF BROWN'S NATIONAL-SOCIALISM

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

We didn't go this year.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Damned hippies

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

You don't even know what the word means until you've been to The Big Green Gathering.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

A doctors surgery at the height of flu season?

(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

err yeah.
oh I still haven't listened to your CD yet. I shall go and get it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

I hope it doesn't offend your ears too much.
I hope you enjoyed the well researched sleeve notes.
(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

oh no it's only randomburn banter,
great times.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

Oh crap TFD
TO THE DOCTORS WITH YOU!

Or at least call them
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

en

TIRED.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I have a cheese sandwich and some juice.
What makes you think you have meningitis, and not simply a horrendous hangover/comedown?
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Flu like symptoms
Stiff neck to the point that I can't move it properly and a rash on my legs that doesn't go white when you press it.

I've got a doctor's appointment for tomorrow.

What cheese is in your cheese sandwich? Is it satisfying?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

No
Go to the doctors NOW
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Nah, I've been like this for almost 3 weeks.
I've been to the doctors and the hospital and they said they don't think I have meningitis but the rash just came up today so hmmmmmm.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

In which case fuck off
And stop clogging the internet with your vacuous guff, or something.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Go to hospital anyway. That rash is not a good sign.
Do as you're told miss.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

:(

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

I'm being very serious.
It could be nothing, but frankly it isn't worth waiting around to see if it is nothing, as if it's something serious you could end up very very sick indeed.

The people at hospital would much rather you went there to be checked and tested than brought into intensive care.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

I guess so.
I'll have a bath so that that can actually see the rash and not the mud and then head down there.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

this.
one time I phoned NHS Direct late at night with complaints of such a rash, and they sent a doctor round in a car to pick me up.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

They are very good

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

yeah they never did work out what it was in the end though,
after keeping me in overnight and taking umpteen blood samples, they eventually concluded it was "just one of those things".
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

Tomorrow is not good
Phone them up, say it's an emergency, tell them the symptoms.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Go to the hospital
it's too nasty to leave it.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

HOSPITAL. NOW.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

What they said.
Going now would be the best idea.
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

I can see the headlines now...
"Internet forum saves festival goer's life. Photos on page 5."
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Page 3 would have been better
We could have seen her patchy, rashed tits.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

NHS Direct will tell you if it's suspected meningitis
in which case, you need to be seen immediately
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Badger's opinion is
HOSPITAL. NOW.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Really, go now :/

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

i'd just leave it, have a pain killer, see how you feel in a week or two

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Squishy probably

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

Yeah, that's what I've been doing so far.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

you have spasticism
There is no cure.
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I did a "pffffffft" at this.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Actually there is a cure
Dignitas
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Actually, it could be syphilis
let's look on the bright side.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

The gift that keeps on giving.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

I was just saying that.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

*puts on latex glove*
*STD high fives*
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

pfft.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

I've packed all my books up and bought some strawberries.
There's pork and beans for grub afoot. And now, the weather - grey with looming hot.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Aceness, that sounds super good.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

LOCAL MAN IN CATTLE ROMP
has 478 similar cases taken into consideration.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

~~have~~
en
~~itis~~
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Chompy went there too. I'd check the back of your dresses for spunky marks.
My headline is "guuuuuuuuuuuuuh...wha....? um....buuuuh"
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

I saw him I did.
He was a little bit twatted I think but no spunky spunky grump times thankfully.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

I always check the back of my dresses after I've seen him

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

And you selfishly passed it on to all those innocents at Glastonbury.
*tut*

So mad with you right now.
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

I'm at work for the first time in a couple of weeks
More at 10, I'm Trevor McDonald
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

phew what a scorcher
outside air temp has just hit 30.2
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

erk! Doctors, I think is the best plan.
SPANGOLIN FORGETS BREAKFAST.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

But breakfast is the most important meal of the day
Forgetting it makes lunch and dinner think they are better than they really are. We can't be doing with presumptuous midday and evening meals!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

I might try the coffee and fag diet
or have a huge lunch.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

That would require smoking or eating lots of salads and getting your chest waxed.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

I've currently got an "S" shaved into my chest hair

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Yes, I'd say that sinuous was a good description

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

Do you really have meningitis?
Or do you have meninvagina, a very different disorder.

Does this mean you can't help me in the office this week?
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

I have a furrowed brow
those are my head lines
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

You should have played the comedy tent.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Christ, I'm not as quick as Piston...
...to embarass myself horribly and look like a fish drowning on a stage.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

BAN THIS SICK FILTH
also
MAN DISAPPOINTED WITH CANTEEN MENU TODAY
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

What is it?!?!?
I was eating Brazilian on Saturday, it was nice.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

that sounds a bit rude
it's sausage and egg plait

i don't like egg :(
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Naw, that was a Nottingham
I LOOOOVE DE EGG
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

i wish i liked eggs
i wish i liked bananas too

but i don't
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

I´m snorting coke off a bald midgets head
those are my headlines
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

VMOS IN OLD DULLARD SHOCKER
MIDLIFE CRISIS IMMINENT
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Have you gone to the doctor about suspected meningitis?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Meningitis is a lot of fuss over nothing
is what I heard.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

It's true you know.
Then you get these idiots claiming they 'survived'. It's just like a cold really, with flesh loss. Fucking WIMPS.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

well anyone on here should be alright,
plenty of flesh to lose
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

I couldn't go.
this made me a sad panda.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

POST A-LEVEL STUDENT WAKES UP TO ANOTHER STRESS-FREE DAY; MAKES CUP OF TEA

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

I was scowling at my brother for having 4 months off between his last Uni term and the next on Monday
Four months! Heaven.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

man almost dies in freak shaving accident shocker
/has a big cut on face
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I'm in a film-soundtrack-obtaining sort of mood.
List your favourites.

GO!
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

a life less ordinary

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

I quite enjoyed the Juno soundtrack recently.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

I like Tree Hugger. It's a great song
:)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

28 days later, or weeks, I can't remember
It's called 'In the house in a heartbeat' by John Murphy. It is very good.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

That's actually the one I'm downloading at the minute.
Get out of my head please.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

It rawks dude!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

god damn this song makes me feel sad :(

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

Dune
Das Boot
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Weird Science
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

Lost Boys

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

even tho i dunna laek you
that is a good one
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

Ferris... Good choice.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

The Dune soundtrack's brill
Toto!
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

Into The Wild Soundtrack is good.
Buster. Nowt wrong with a bit of PC.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

great film too

(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

indeed :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

The Big Lebowski
O brother where art thou?
Swingers
Disney's Robin Hood
Mary Poppins

EDIT: Oh, and the Garden State soundtrack is pretty nifty.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

there's a lot missing from the big lebowski soundtrack
there's no creedence, fercrissakes
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

I like Mary Poppins
Dick Van Dyke taught me how to talk
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

*guffaws*

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

I think, then wank, then double blink and do a jizz on a painting
then I pull my trousers down and walk around like a penguin
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

ALSO my housemate knows ALL the songs from robin hood
turns out i remember quite a few myself

robin hood and little john walkin' through the forest, laughin' back and forth at what the other has to saaay
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Every town has its ups and downs. Sometimes ups, outnumber the downs.
Not in Nottingham.

Best song in a kids' film, ever.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

This is the best soundtrack video on You Tube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk5_OSsawz4
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

Mong face.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

The Long Good Friday.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

Thomas Newman - American Beauty

(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

Blade Runner
I'm thinking of grabbing the Kingdom of Heaven soundtrack, I muchly enjoyed that.
The Sunshine soundtrack's also ace
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

This morning I downloaded 'Jump In The Line' by Harry Belafonte (from Beetlejuice)
I am very fond of The Crow, Dirty Dancing, Lost Boys, Grosse Pointe Blank soundtracks. I also highly recommend both Pulp Fiction and 'The Tarrantino Connection' which has music from most of his films on.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

OKAY, I BELIEVE YOU.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

*shakes*

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Lost boys soundtrack is ace
Cry little sister is one of my all time favourite songs.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

It reminds me of my youth :)

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

Romeo and Juliet, even though it's quite old.
Or for scores, I like the third Pirates of the Caribbean film. Or Brokeback Mountain. Twangy.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

The Life Aquatic also has a fantastic one

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

This
with added Seu Jorge.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

I heart Seu Jorge
I just wish I know what he was saying.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

pretty much
all the wes anderson films: life aquatic, royal tennebaums,bottle rocket, darjeeling limited...all awesome...oh and rushmore
(DefyingDarwin Old, untalented and white,, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

*Wes Anderson fives*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Who does the bleepy bloppy music in that Life Aquatic filum?
What's a Google? Never heard of it.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

One of the guys from Devo
That's all I can remember without that 'Google' thing.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

It's called Ping Island Lightning Strike Rescue Op
by Mark Mothersbaugh.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Heat

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

^this

(MSB Load universe into cannon. Aim at brain. Fire., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

You can't go wrong with a Joe Hisaishi soundtrack

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

South Park movie

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Shut your fucking face unclefucker

(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

If you want to get freaky then download the Akira soundtrack too.
Ghost in the Shell has a great score too.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

The Judgement Night soundtrack (shit film, great soundtrack)
The Spawn soundtrack (again, shit film, great soundtrack)
James Horners soundtrack for Aliens
(

FoldsFive, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

1. The Wicker Man
2. Taxi Driver
3. That's fucking it
(

dotmund .co.uk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

The Fountain.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Rag and Bone
We've just had a proper old style rag and bone man going down our road, with the horse and cart, dirty scruffy look simpley screaming "Bone" every few yards.

I haven't seen one of these in years and it made me feel all young and nostalgic again.

What things would you like to see return to the present day that were about when you were younger?
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

I have no idea what you're on about.

(K B D lets do everything YOU want to do!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

Are you taking the piss
Surely everyone knows what a rag and bone man is.

images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&lr=&um=1&sa=1&q=rag+and+bone+man&btnG=Search+images&aq=f&oq=
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

Those are horses

(K B D lets do everything YOU want to do!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

It's a collective thing
Like when you say Ice Cream Man, you would expect him to have a tinkling van with him playing greensleeves or the wanderer
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

I like the rag and bone man, very bottom right

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

if you mean the painting one
then that's just fucking CREEPY
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

naw, mine's a picture of a girl with big boobies :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

in the orange top?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

yup

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

*investigates*
Marvellous.
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Have you got safesearch on?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

Aha, I see.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

Fucking hell, what's wrong with her face?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

haha you were looking at her face
GAYLORD GAYLORD YOU LIKE FACES
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

I heard that you march down the street shouting 'Bone' every few feet
for very different reasons.
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

"Broom" more like

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

Good morning dwarf.

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

Hello sideparting.
How's tricks?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

Ok, my housemate bullied me becuase I have a submarine commander game that requires you to issue the orders through a headset.
Oh the shame!

I'm shitting my pants over my scholarship interview tomorrow as well.
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

What game? That sounds awesome

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Sub command

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

It's the geekiest thing I've ever seen
You have to be able to a read a sonar waterfall array :(((
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

geekier that steel battalion?
that needed this controller:
gamefocus.co.uk/shop/catalog/images/steel_battalion.jpg
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

when you died in game, I don't think you could save it either
you had to start from the beginning. That's not fun, that's work :(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

i've never played it
but i know it had a red self-destruct button under a clear case!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

One day, when I have lots of money, I will buy that.

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

hehe
UP PERISCOPE.

Ooh, good luck - I'm sure you'll be fine :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

I bet you just squeal like a sugared up toddler over credits and then it crashes

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

Also good luck for the interview mate :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

You'll be fine.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

you see what you want to see

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

Are you 12?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

18

(K B D lets do everything YOU want to do!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

that also explains it
they seemed to disappear when I was about 15 so you would have only been 3, eeeeee these kids don't know what they've missed.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

a communicable disease?

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

ok... now s/l

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

yes/ym
(K B D lets do everything YOU want to do!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

I LOL'd

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

MJ Zombie

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

HEEER HEE!

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Did you check out his bone?

(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

I saw one in Hull when I was twelve.
This says more about Hull than me, I suppose.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

Maggie Thatcher

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

Also, trying to find Cider Lollies is well hard from an ice cream man.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

I want those lollies back that had two lolly sticks

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

You can get those in Morrisons

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

But Morrisons has dirty floors and loads of crying children
I'm too middle class to go there
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

OOOOH
Ice lollies, held on their side, with ice cream on one of the flat sides. From the ice cream man. Also calling raspberry sauce 'monkey blood'.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

YES!
and do you remember the Ice cream blocks that were wrapped in paper and you were given a square cone with it.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

Of course!

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

I hated that Ice Cream man
no bits or sauce and he didn't even sell panda pop like Rossie did
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

WITCH'S HAT

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

Proper sized Curly Wurlys

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

I had a really weird dream the other night,
in which people were pelting me with Curly Wurlies. It was a bit worrying.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

Sexiest dream ever.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

That wasn't a rag and bone man.
That was Mental Frank.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

I've heard of him.
He's mental.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

my mum

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

Was he followed by a dirty old man shouting "'AROLD!"
with the rag and bone man dispairing at his life and how his typecasting never allowed him to do anything else with his career ever again?
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

bit hard to do other things with your career when you are dead

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

It is a handicap, I'll give him that.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

And to answer your question
chocolate covered pretzels.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

Haha, it's one of those stereotypes that ALWAYS fits the bill though
I've never seen a clean looking clean shaven rag and bone man, they've all got brown wool coats and a flatcap.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

Pint glasses with handles
House prices (although they seem to be doing that all on their own lol)
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Pint glasses with handles are for manly ladies
or girly men. END OF DISCUSSION.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

NOT THE BIG CHUNKY ONES WITH DINTS ON.
Those are awsome.
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

ESPECIALLY THE BIG CHUNKY ONES WITH DINTS ON.
Manly ladies, girly men, West Ridingers.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

I put it to you Russel
That the new straight pint glass is a modern, Southern, homoseuxal pecadillo
(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/5540072
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

Corn Pops. Crispix.

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

I recall neither of these

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

They are both cereals.
I was a slightly portly child.
(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

The Corona pop man.
Also proper snowball fights and pushing Todd into the pond every week and then all of us following him home laughing whilst he cried. EVERY WEEK.*

*disclaimer, I was too young to have pushed him in being only four or five. It was very funny though.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

Aww you rotten buggers
We had a pop man too, but it was Ben Shaws and if you returned your bottle to him he gave you 5p back, my sister used to save loads of bottles for me so I could give them to him and buy sweets behind my mum and dads back.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

Our local pop van was run by William Hague's dad
Hague's Pops. Shit it was.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

Our pop van was from 'AAA' Minerals. Their cherryade was a wonder of chemical goodness.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

Cherryade is shit nowadays

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

you were an accessory to these terrible crimes
i'm telling on you, i'm getting you done
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

When people used to buy cheap mountain bikes and love them
Now you get looked down upon because you didn't want to spend over £2k on £10kg of aluminium and rubber
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

Raleigh Choppers and BMX FTW
I had a blue chopper with a red flag on a pole and spokeys so it made a noise as I went down the road. We also used to put a squashed tin can at the back to makeit sound like motorbike.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Choppers were ace.
I have a scar on my face from where I jumped off one and smacked my face off a kerb.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

This is proper playing out
not this half hearted crap the kids do nowadays.

I was bollocked by mum on friday for encouraging my son to climb a 5ft fence to get his ball back from next door (they were out otheriwse I would have made him go and ask politely)
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

never seen one, I have to say
I used to like those ice creams with popping candy in. Om nom nom.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

Like Screwballs?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

we still have screwballs
these were red, and had this crackly stuff all over. A bit like those Willy Wonka chocolate bars out ages ago.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

Ohh I feel rubbish that I have never experienced these :(

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

Buy your favourite icecream and unload a bag of poprocks in it.
Problem solved :D
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

No, that's a gumball

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

I miss the man who would come around and sharpen knives on his special bike. My knives are fucked.
And the mobile library. And the fruit and veg van. And the frozen food van. All of these things I miss.
Honestly, I'm only 26.
(

fannycradock, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

Morning :D
Blunt knives are awful, I've got to get a sharpening stone for the ones I've been given, you'd be better off trying to cut something with a butter knife.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

Morning :D
We never actually got our knives sharpened as my mum was worried that my dad would stab her, or there would be some terrible accident. Ho-hum :) Blunt knives are far more perilous though *waves plaster-ridden fingers*
(

fannycradock, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

We still have a mobile library
The fruit and veg van has been moved to the community centre but thats only because they've upped the quality of veg and kept the prices cheap.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

Lucky you x 2
I live above an africa food shop, and will on ocasion buy a strange fruit or vegetable, then watch it rot as I am usually to wary/lazy to do anything with it.
(

fannycradock, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

you are not, Bryan

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

Yes I am, listen
RHODODENDROOOON
IZZZ A NICE FLEEEWUR
(

fannycradock, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Pogs

(

WormuIus, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

back where i used to live, there was some tit in a pick up truck
driving around ringing a great big bell asking for people's old tat

really annoying, he was
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

my grandad was a rag and bone man
i used to go with him when i was little. i had to sit on my lunch box so the seatbelt would reach.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

I bet that was ACE!
Did he make a fortune?
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

nah its not lucrative and he was a proper gyppo, liked a beer and a gamble
all pissed up the wall
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

I´m sure there are laws against that kind of thing

(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

SILENCE YOU.

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

Sorry for a requestthread, but I don't know where to turn.
I am looking for somewone who knows how to write elaborate MySQL queries, as I am currently at a dead end with my code for www.whatdoestheinternetthink.net

gaz me if you are/know someone who fits the description
(

c_kick or, as some people call him, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

I dont think the sort of person who knowshow to do that sort of thing is the sort of person we want to know

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

/crass generalisation

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

yeah, there are definitely no computer nerds here

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

true
I probably should've just gazzed Cr3
(

c_kick or, as some people call him, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

clever people?
sure.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

I don't like to hang around with clever people.
Intelligent conversation gets me down.
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

What about if they are the over-clichéd scared nerdy type
Then there'd be no conversation.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

Hmmmmm. I think I could handle that.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

i'm not sure being able to write computer codes is really a sign of being awsome clever

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

Exactly
Id say its more likely to be an indication of some poorly socialised, pale skinned, bedroom dwelling, beaten up at school, piston-a-like.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

Forum banter and such

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

if they invented their own computer language i'd think that was clever, but just fiddling with it for work, not a sign of a higher being to me
they fucking insist upon themselves because 99.9% of the population don't care about what they do they just want and end product that works, fat chance of that tho
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

hit a nerve?

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

not at all, i though more i.t people would have jumped in to defend themselves

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

I'm not defending anyone in IT.
Most are incompetent or bloody stupid.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

LOLgeneralisation

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

I didn't know you were a Coder?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

it was more the "elaborate" part of the description
specialising in something to a high degree usually requires some commitment and intelligence.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

does it fuck, you might just have been doing the same thing for ages, or have a nack for it, it is no sign of intelligence

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

if you say so

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

It all depends what you are doing

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

what? that is exactly the point, you can not assume intelligence just because someone is able to perform a particular task

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

Unless to be able to perform that task you need intelligence in the first place

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

This
Im fairly sure you can teach a monkey to surf.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

You can teach a chimp to do spinning kicks
I've seen it on the interwebs
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Theres a reason they call them code monkeys...

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

Wheras I'm a Software Engineer

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

What's a knowshow?

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

I HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

I HAVE A CUP OF TEA
*clink*
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

I have a glass of water

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

turn left

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

turn left

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

turn left

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

turn left

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

walk away

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

turn left

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

turn left

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

turn left

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

I can talk to dogs.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

sticking your finger up their bum and making them whine is not 'talking'

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

fucking is
I say to them "Bark if you can understand me when I press my finger up your pooper"

and lo and behold...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

they growl and rip your face off.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

Not if they are pugs.
they go "Woowoowoowoowoo!" all happy like
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

the little known sequel to "Edward Scissorhands"
"Donkey PugFingers"
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

And I can do propeller arms and make take off and landing noises with my mouth too

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

Talented AND attractive
There must be something you're not awesome at.
(

SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

don't tell anyone, but
he can't read
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

that's why so few of his replies make any sense!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

The red b b ball......the.....red.....b..b.b.....bus
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

close enough!
*ruffles hair*

now who wants a biscuit?!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

ME!
*points at mouth whilst making pac man noises*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

*frisbees choc digestive in your general direction*
catch!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

*biffs off forehead*
*doesn't notice*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

yes please.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

ya gots ta EARNIT

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

I have terrible gas

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

what's so terrible about it?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

Smelly like sexual roses
Makes girls get a right Wet-On. If they are wearing wellies they would be full within 12 seconds.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

Hahaha
Paris Hilton - 57.7% negative, 36.2% positive
AIDS - 32.8% negative, 50.9% positive

It's all relative.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

hiv positive... lol

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

pfft

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

lolololololol
www.whatdoestheinternetthink.net/index.php?s=tom+hanks+in+philadelphia&st=google
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

I got a 100% Positive score for Craig David the other day.
That can't be right...
(

mr_wicksy is.... old., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

I need more tea to cope with this.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

What are you trying to achieve with these SQL queries?

(

SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

World domination

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

drop table jews

(

SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

this^
also, statistics
(

c_kick or, as some people call him, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

i can't help with any of that i'm afraid, sorry, not my fault tho i just don't now about that sort of thing
phew what a scorcher tho eh?
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

Apparently most people don't care about Barack Obama.
And according to Twitter he's a leftist coward who cares more about universal healthcare than being a superpower. God forbid.
(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Peasants being healed of their ailments...
They'll be reading next!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

Can't have that.

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

According to Twitter blah blah blah lunch blah blah saw someone famous blah blah i only signed up because of stephen fry blah blah

(

magnum, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

@magnum lol

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

I can help

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

also if anyone knows a company who can do db dev with SQL linked to a web based front end
in a multiple user environment pls gaz me. 10-15k in it.

would need to auto generate invoices/statements too.
(richard cropper's comedy account Stephen Frizzle is on the sex offenders list, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I'm sorry
I can't help. I want to but...but...I'm no good with this sort of thing. I didn't want to let you down but here we are.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

At least you're honest.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

Honest and oh so pretty

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

That's a great combination.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

DISCLAIMER
I am not a girl. I'm not going through this gender confusion thing again
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Guy Garvey
Negative - 6.3% - 1 result
Positive - 93.8% - 15 results.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Apparently the internet is undecided about me
OH FICKLE INTERNET
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Penises: Negative: 70.2% - 1,376 results
Positive: 29.5% - 578 results
Don't Care: 0.3% - 6 results

It'd be nice if the results were easy to cut n paste
(

magnum, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Your mum is:
67% Negative
33% Positive
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

I'm moving all my stuff into storage today as there's a month gap before we move into the new flat.
It is no more or less stressful than I expected it to be. I think it's a bit of a myth.
What do you think is a myth?
(

Malchick, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

it's stressful because of how much it all costs, in my experience.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

That's true. The van rental and the storage has set us back a fair slice.
But then we knew it was coming and set money aside accordingly.
(

Malchick, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

we've been buying new Appliances
ouch.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

There's that too. We're going to have to get a fair amount of furniture.
But we're renting fully-furnished (in theory) so much of it is there already. I hadn't really thought of that.
(

Malchick, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

ahh that's not so bad
We've spent a hell of a lot of time in IKEA and John Lewis.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

That woman aren't impressed when you do wheelies on your 70s rusty racer bike.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

An unmarried woman
with a lisp
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

In France
A miss is as good as a mlle.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

An unmarried lady with a thpeech impediment.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

Political correctness.

(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

well said from a member of the differently hair-pigmented community

(

moohalaa, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

vagina dentata
how would you get the tampons up?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

While you're flossing.

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

Throw it a steak to distract it, then slip it up there.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

An unmarried woman
who can't say "S"'s.
(

Malchick, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

it's very expensive, for what it is.
i think your face is a myth
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

something about marriage and not speaking properly

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

'do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?'
'i d... a.. dooo... aDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON'
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

aDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
I feel sorry for the next woman that falls for my charms
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

put some lipstick on a manatee
you'll get on like a house(boat) on fire
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

Your face is a myth

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

too slow, dinky

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

It was almost
'your mum is a myth'. BAH.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

a dog

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

being able to look up?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

you get any encyclopaedia and you'll be able to look up dog
silly
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

uh oh, me's a dope

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

If a dog is in Antarctica and plane flies over them they fall over backwards

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

if you throw rice at a wedding and a dog eats it, they'll explode

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

The hymen.

(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

Really?
It took about five goes to get rid of mine. Clearly, I was meant to be a nun.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

Or at the very least
A prolific nun with an intact hymen.
(

Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

Its pay rise month this July
Tell me something thats brightened your day

/fluff and joy
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)

Nothing today yet.
I learned the other day I get paid twice this month. How confusing.
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

You get paid every 4 weeks?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

Yes, about that.
I know it's just to even the keel with the extra week and stuff, but I don't know how much I should expect to get paid. It's hard to work out. I presume one week's worth of wages.
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

No, you just get paid twice, for example the 2nd and the 30th, the same as you always do
I get paid fortnightly, some months I will get paid thrice
(

Malaka omdz, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

It depends if it's for the end of year accounts or not
Some companies like to split their payroll at the year end to make the accounts easier.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)

Do you get paid every four weeks rather than monthly?
I used to have a job like that. It was weird.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

How bizarre

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

The advantageof that is at some point during the year you get to skip some bills
I usually try and save this up for december
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

I get this
We get paid 13 times a year, rent etc is twelve times.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

'Jump In The Line' by Harry Belafonte.
I might make a mug of tea. Maybe a bowl of bran flakes.
Pay rises are always lovely.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

shake, shake shake senora!
shake it all the time...
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

Hell yes.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

I had a lovely bowl of bran flakes today
Followed by a cup of extra strong green tea, bleh
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

I still have a job.
Oh, and we rescued a hedgehog this morning.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

was it sonic?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

Nah, this one was wearing Reeboks.
Everyone knows Sonic wears Gola.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

feh, not interested then

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

I've lost weight.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

Dropping your cane doesnt count

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

Up yours.
I dead sexy now, me.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

Nothing yet
Everything's changing, my job's being merged with other jobs and my position is being dissolved and I don't know what I'm going to do in the next few weeks/months. Still got a job but I don't know what that is yet. It's all unsettling.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

That is very rubbish
Still, you're in the best country for it, there'd be a national strike if they got rid oif you
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

Meh, at least I'll still have employment, regardless of what happens
I just hate this uncertainty of not knowing what I'll be doing. Ho hum.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)

I'm waiting for an email to say YES
also - the sun
(

Malaka omdz, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

From the man from Del Monté?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)

not the shit-rag paper
the actual weather
(

Malaka omdz, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

What's your address?
I'll send you the email.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

it would appear to be
[email protected]
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Our union blokes are aiming for 6% this year
We'll probably get 5%. Works for me.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

Im going elsewhere if its anything less than 10%
Bastards.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

what dooyoodoo?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

the voodoo

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

I believe he provides memes for the intellectually challenged

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

Rapist

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

heroin

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

mmmmmmmmm hear that that is a bit moreish.

(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

can be, but used in moderation it is a wonderful pick me up

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

I get to go home for a few days.
Even if I still have to work at least I dont really have to be at the office.

sweet.
(

Nostrebor can't be everything all the time., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

you moved out of the way of the sun

(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)

An old man commending me at the bus stop
for reading a book, proclaiming he'd never read a book in his life as he didn't see the point.

Also, toast and raspberry jam.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

Yegads
How does he know about SCIENCE?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

He had a hearing aid and glasses.
He might know there's something called SCIENCE but be unsure what it does.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

Hence why he was at a bus stop and not in a car, driving at 20mph and gwuffing side to side
thick fuck.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

i don't believe him
tell him that, next time you see him
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

It's a lovely sunny day.
I might go for a run.
And then I'm going out drinking tonight.
(

ArthurTheRat, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

Erm, I don't really want to be at work and I want to be in bed after an epic Saturday in Camden and Soho
I'm soooo tired...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

A lady in Sainsbury's said she liked my tattoo.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

You'll get comments like that when walking around naked

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

It's hot out, that's my excuse

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

Careful, she's planning to tear off your skin and wear it as a suit

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

It rubs the lotion on it's skin

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6261344

What did you get up to?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

haha
that is a goood weekend :)

Did a bit of house stuff on Saturday, and lazed through Sunday. Went to my parents' for a BBQ, had some bikey fun driving back, not much at all really.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

i was even lazier than that yesterday
it was brilliant
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

The next couple of weekends will be like this.
We've got a gig at The Horn in St Albans this Friday which should be cool. It's the launch of the new line up so should be pretty fun :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

teehee, 'horn'

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

woo, with your new girly singer?
have you any gigs sarrrrf of the river?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

SAaaaf? Nah, won't go saaaaf. We stick around Northwest/Camden/Soho/Shoreditch way.
Did a couple in Fulham but they crowns are all wrong around there.

Come to the Camden ones :)

Yup new sexy girl singer. At least if no one likes the music we've got eye candy :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

Do you work for DWP? we get our payrise this month too.
(

C, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

Nope
The DWP scares me, we worked with them when i worked for the council. Far too many hard and fast rules and structure for my liking.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

ever seen the huge offices up in Leeds?
Scary looming building on a hill.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

I sometimes work at Whitehall II in Leeds, but that's not on a hill... it's near the train station.
(

C, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

I done an animated logo for my dad's new website business venture*
I emailed it over to him and he just replied calling me "a fucking genius!"

When was the last time your parents gave you praise for your achievements and what did you do?

* LOLZ! I bet its porno! LOLZ!!
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

well show us then

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

The website's not ready yet.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

so the logo will give away top secrets of the venture?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

It's not online yet.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

stop stalling!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

This.
I need to see it too.

Good morning everyone.
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

morning jobey jobe jobe

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

rhcpaulrhcpaulrhcpaulrhcpaulrhcpaul
I saw a Beatle on Saturday. It was cool.
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

which one?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

None of the good ones, I'll bet.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

Paul McCartney.
Woooooooooooooo
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

JOBE.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

It's me alright.
Nice holiday?
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

Mostly, yes.
I can heartily reccommend Sarajevo and Mostar. Pictures to follow this week.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

Good, I'll keep an eye out for them.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

CHAOS!

(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

Chaos?

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

TURMOIL

(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

Oh Flappers.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

BEDLAM

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

CARNAGE

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:01, archived)

are we on spider-man villains now?
MYSTERIO
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

PANDEMONIUM

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

Well it's not actually on a website for me to show off.
Besides, it's probably become over-hyped now.
It's basically a logo designed like a signature. I animated it so it's starts with just the bg and the logo is "signed" like someone is signing the logo.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

Sounds nice.
Don't see how it will really fit in to your Dad's pron empire though. Unless it's one of those more "highbrow" sites.
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

Classy birds.
Monocles. Pinky fingers raised. Stiff upper lip and all that.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

Phwoar.

(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

if only there was a free hosting site to upload to..

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)

Here you go then:
www.b3ta.com/links/333917
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

My dad called me 'daft' for taking a holiday to Sarejevo last week.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

"taking a holiday".
I like it.
(

Jobe, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

I don't follow you.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

DADDY NEVER LOVED ME

(

SuperMatt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

daddeeeeee didn't give attention
ohhh, to the fact that mommy didn't caaare
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

Aw Matt, it's not that your dad doesn't love you.
He's just embarrassed by you.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

show us
my ma was very proud of me when i got a gert big medal for doing a half marathon
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

I think it was when I gave birth or something

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

i don't have any parents
i'll tell you what tho, i bet everyone with aircon is happy today, phew what a scorcher
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

My train today won't
I'll be sat in the cab with the windows open catching flies cursing the fuckers that didn't install an hvac in a 144 diesel. The cunts.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

aww man i feel for you, that is tragic, i feel for all the people who don't have aircon
my heart even goes out to people who have comfort cooling, outside air temp is 26 in london already
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

It's 20 round the back of mine
When the clouds lift there will be hell on
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

i can see me being busy all week, i might go sick

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I'll do you a note
"Dear Fascist Oppressor of the Working Man, pleases let Mongy off work today as he has fallen over or something. Love, Mongy's Mum"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

not formal enough
sign off as mrs. chops
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

that would probably work
i might as well just print scrn this and hand it in, not yet tho, i've got to go st.paul's later then it's on the booze
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

Were you born out of a bivvy?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

well i asume i had biological parents, but i can't be sure

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

I read that to this tune
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-NH5gA4JP8
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

Oh that made me think of our wedding song I walked up the aisle to
www.last.fm/music/Sam+Cooke/_/Just+For+You
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

Mrs F walked up to a Bach cello concerto
and we walked back down to Al Green, L-O-V-E.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

i wanted, who let the dogs out and man don't give a fuck
i was out voted
(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

how did that marriage turn out?

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

great, been divorced ages

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

i can't even remember 'our' tune
*divorced ages fives*
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)

I think I want Chariots Rise by Lizzie West at my wedding.
It's so pretty.

www.last.fm/music/Lizzie+West/_/Chariots+Rise
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

In about 1971 when I did a poo all by myself
*neurotics*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

~~197~~ 200
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

Trufax

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

Some sumo wrestlers employ a botslosh.
A man whose duties include the wiping of their arses because they are so fat they can't reach. I can see good prospects for them on here.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

There's a product you can buy for just such an event
I can't be arsed looking. That fat ginger gypo has it though
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

Is it a rag on a stick?
And that's no way to talk about Easty.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

It's like a cat's bum tea towel holder on a stick
You cram the arsewipe in it. Wipe your bum, then press a button that unpuckers the holder to release the paper down the bog. It is apparently for those who find the idea of bum wiping so old fashioned and disgusting, and fats cunts.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

Oh the Blurter-Blotter.
I saw that on Dragon's Den.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

Weight Loss
My dad is well chuffed with me
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

that's a bit creepy

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

no one wants a fat daughter

(

mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

This!

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

fair enough
i got my mum on a healthy diet because she was starting to put the pounds on
and i don't want her to die early
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

You forgot the bit where your mum thanks you for meeting me
She totally fancies me.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

She does

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

I might do her if I get her drunk

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

*weight loss fives*

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

When I got a promotion at work
They seemed happy. Mind you it's been over a year since then, not managed to impress them since.
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

You impress me every day.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

Thanks Uncle Jim

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

Don't tell your mother what we did,
you hear?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

I wouldn't Uncle Jim
It's only a game after all
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

It's just that she has a thing about mutilating kittens after last time we played the game.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

Oh Mr Tibbens
You were such a nice little kitten until Mummy tied the string to your feet and put you in the washing machine
(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

Dunno.
*shrugs*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

morning, speck

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

Alright?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

yeah. aside from the whole 'being at work' thing
you?
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

Printed out a load of signs, menus and other stuff for my sisters wedding that I'd designed

(

magnum, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

It wasn't so much praise
but I think my Mum was pleased when I got into a decent relationship for once. Oh, and when I mentioned I was going on a new course, I got a "Well done".
(

Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I petted a pony and it didn't bite me
Morning all!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

is that a euphamism for something?
hello DG! :)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)

hehe no :)
MORNING! *does shimmy shammy coco pop dance*

Good weekend?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

*joins in*
Nice and relaxing, thanks :) And you?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)

Started drinking at 1pm in Camden and ended up screaming whilst up a tree like a pirate, hoping to find land.
I woke up with a new earring. and £200 less in my bank account.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

they like cr3
:)

oh, and a fruit cake we brought over yesterday to their place.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

YES.
Cake. That's the last thing they praised me about.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

This was a beast of a cake
solid and heavy. Cinnamony.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

I'm surprised you could take something like that on.
Or should I say...cake it on...
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

*picards*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

who wouldn't like their offspring seeing a robot from the future?!

apart from sarah connor, obviously
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)

Was it his purple hair?
Most people are impressed by purple hair
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

They said well done for getting a good job in a posh part of town within 4 days of moving to London
I was quite pleased with myself, too

I've done little else praiseworthy since
(

Malaka omdz, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

the last time i went into harrods loos they were rather shabby
i hope you've improved them since then
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

mother = all the time
father = ..... I'll let you know
(likeajackhammer, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

DAY-O.
This is about television. I would just like to point everyone in the direction of yesteryearial TV comedy Operation: Good Guys. Possibly one of the finest, and thus criminally overlooked comedies of recent times. Why not share your memories of Operation: Good Guys with each other right now?

Alternative question. If you happened to be singing the Banana Boat Song to yourself and a black gentleman walked past, would you stop singing, or cajole him into joining in?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

What?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

Why?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

I'm sat across from the most painfully mundane man ever
NNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

do that at him while he's talking

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

I just duck down behind my monitors and point blank ignore him unless the question is work related
I know it's remarkably rude but I just can't speak to people like that.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

one of the people in my office is a bit thick. sometimes he'll dribble out something particularly irrelevant
and i have to leave it hanging there, unresponded to.

i feel like a twat, but he has to learn
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

Yeah sounds very similar
it's awkward to not respond but the inane conversation you'd be drawn into would be worse.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

his thickness has its uses.
in the office ceiling, there is a pulley system that we rigged up that lifts the ceiling panel above his head.

we used it to drop a bauble on his head at christmas. got away with doing it 3 times!
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

i vaguely remember seeing adverts for it several moons ago
ah... good times
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

I've never heard of it
You're popular cultural references are below me as I watch very little TV thus making me a better human being. Ask me another one.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

why're you so old?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Because of your enormous beard

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

touché!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

I'm like Oscar Wilde

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

what, gay and dead?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

But terribly stylish

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

If you've a spare ten minutes
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdBl0uAIa_s&feature=related
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

Oh yeah, I remember that.
It was quite good.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

hehe
that's pretty good
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

I'd just sing louder
"Come Mr Tally-man, tally me banana"
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

Daylight come and me wan' go home

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

six foot, seven foot, eight foot...

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

BUNCH

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

the song just makes me think of beetlejuice

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

YES.
I need to download 'Jump In The Line' now.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

definetly

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

i would definitely get him to sing along

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

Playful punch on the shoulder
"Come on, Chalky, join in"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

something like that

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

I'm proper sick of this cloudyness
I wish it would fuck off and bring out some proper sunshine so I can get the buckets out in the back garden for the kids to slosh to around in.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

I have to go to work this afternoon
At the precise time it's meant to get mental hot. DO NOT WANT
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

oh gosh
I remember just reading about them a few moments ago on the internet, great times, it makes me feel all misty just to remember how I typed their name into a search engine and then read about them
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vladimir, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

I havent read what you've taken the time to write
I will say this though. I am having an ace day.
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Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

I'd get him to join in too, knowing in my heart that he too is an aficionado of Beetlejuice

(

Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

One of my favourite scenes in O:GG is when they are swimming in the final episode
and one goes for a piss in a pool and the water changes to purple and the guy starts to swim off and then does a roll and another comments that it's like the red arrows.
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magnum, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

I just remember the one where the Guv enters a boxing match, and sends a bung to the opponent
but Bones takes the money and has a penis enlargement.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

Why is the Banana song racist?
I don't think Harry Belafonte was a member of the KKK, do you?

I'd probably carry on singing.
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

I didn't say it was racist.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:29, archived)

No, you didn't.
Sorry darling, bad day.
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Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

i don't understand any of that

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

i have it on the box set dvd
the pilot was a straight drama, it never worked
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mongychops, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

Who was this Jackson bloke?
Never heard of him
(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

*sigh*
We're talking about BACON you know.
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Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

why?
haven't you got work to do?
(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

No

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Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

get a job then
ya bum
(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

I have a job
just because I don't get paid for it doesn't mean I don't do anything.
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Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

Watching telly and pissing about on the internet is not a job
And if it is, whey haven't I been offered a position?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Oi you cheeky cunt
I am vice chair of the board of directors at a childrens centre, a breastfeeding councellor and runner of a support group for parents who have children with speshul needz innit.

C.V's you right in the face
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Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

Kiddy fiddler, tit masher, mong wrangler
Yep, you win.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

Some people have no manners

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

how dare they Spong.
It's BACON
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Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

I am horrified
and will be writing to my Bacon Ombudsman forthwith.
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DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Please also relay my disgust at this travesty in your letter.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

Oh yes
I know the one you mean, here it is
farm4.static.flickr.com/3192/2459239140_c8c926cd4e_o.jpg
(

vladimir, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

normally we complain about someone coming here, asking a question then fucking off as soon as they get what they need without so much as a by-your-leave
but if this is the standard of posts we'd get, i'm willing to make an exception
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

Did the paintings that looked like someone had been sick off a tall building

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Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

Pollocks

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

Nah it's true

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Theoban What of it, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

oh bum

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

:D

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

no, it's true!

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manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

Everyone thinks you're a cunt
including your mum.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

are you old enough to rent a scary video yet?
or are you just a jobless teenager sat in front of your mum's computer?
(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

CUTTING.

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Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

I wish I was a jobless teenager
because then I wouldn't be up at 9 fucking AM
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

are you trying to tell us that you're NOT a teenager?
because there is very little evidence to support that here
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

Billy Mays is dead :(

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

~~mays~~ Jean
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

Right, that's enough of that helpful shit
What is the nicest bacon?
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:03, archived)

the kind that has been grilled and put in between two bits of bread (one buttered)
with some manner of sauce
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:04, archived)

Hot smoked? Cold smoked? Oak smoked?
Middle? Back? Streaky?

I MUST KNOW!

The bacons here are slabs of offcuts pressed together, they are WRONG!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

i don't buy expensive bacon due to being poor and that
i usually make do with supermarket brand smoked
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

What?
As you are meant to be some kind of cultural ambassador I'm appalled that you haven't set them straight on this yet. The Queen shall hear of this.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

They have nice bacons
but it comes in packs of 4-6 slices and costs more than a months wage. Pork is WELL EXPENSIVE over here.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Can they not make sheep bacon?
They have plenty of them don't they.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

Actually you could be on to something there
I had beef-bacon in Malaysia, and it was NOM!
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

Really?
This is an interesting turn of events. I've had cured beef recently and I was not too impressed, I'd be more impressed by cow bacon I think.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

It was lovely, different from pork bacon
but lush in it's own way.

I don't think I can get it here, but I might go looking in some Halal shops...
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

Oh yes
That might be worth a punt. I shall ask about my culturally diverse group of Ethnics that I keep.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

Smoked.
Unsmoked doesn't taste of anything.
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Bats, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)

Bacon that other people have cooked
who wants to pop round & make me a sandwich?
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)

Pig
Thick, no rind, fried in beef dripping
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

food is for fatties and wimps

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rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

Want a bacon butty then?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

nah i had a red bull for breakfast

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

RRRAAAAAAARGH
FOOD IS FOR THE WEAK!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

Foodies!
etc.
(

broadsword, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

you eat it they eat it we all eat it

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

Back bacon
fried in a pan, but don't put any oil in until the water form the bacon has boiled away, thus crispy edges soft and tasty bacon.
Stuck between two slices of brown bread NO SAUCE, I would never sully the taste of bacon with sauce.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

sometimes I like to let the fat soak into the bread and then I take the bacon out eat the bread
and then savour the bacon all on it's own.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

How's the diet going?
My missus thinks she's fat and started that Lighter Life shite, I should punch her quite a lot.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Oh cripes
Lighter life is a terrible diet, it's very unhealthy and there was press a while ago that a few people died on it due to excessive intake of water. Plus they say you can keep it off once you've lost the weight, this is bollocks as you are deprived of everything yummy so when the diet finishes you can't tell me you won't want to go back to cakes and stuff. You're missus is not fat at all. Get her off that stupid diet.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

I bullied her off it before and she knows my thoughts on the matter
Which is why the devious cow was skulking about not telling me about it this time. I merely sigh and try and feed her properly when I can. It's pork and beans today.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

The Woman went on that.
One day in and she felt sick, we rallied round and convinced her it was a stupid idea, and she agreed. And she's not even remotely rotund, the dizzy mare.
It's a horrific idea for a diet.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

It's shit
I might go and find the peddler of this wank and give her a good kicking
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Lighter Life is TOXIC shit
Tell her she is beautiful and offer to go for long walks with her so she can get exercise.
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

sigh...
We all know this stuff, but a neurotic middle aged woman is often not to be trifled with. She'll grow out of it, or her bank balance will.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Give her lots of hugs and tell her how gorgeous she is
offer her pampering sessions at beauty parlours.

Lady needs a bit of an uplift methinks
(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

my sister is in Tauranga

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

isn't that leela's first name?
HAWT
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Wow, we're practically neighbours!

(

DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

can you help me with an image?
it's well known, but not to me. but i want to work on a copy.

some guy,
legs crossed,
coffee in one hang,
coffee on table,
looks like smug twat you're love to punch reet hard in the face.

what is it?
(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

Oh man
Edit/ Oh go on then www.b3takit.co.uk/page1.htm
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

cheers

(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:56, archived)

i was looking for http://www.b3takit.co.uk/smugbastard.jpg
now i have it, thanks for the link bro
(tkitezb seeking images of transvestites shagging cars, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

*tases*

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:59, archived)

given the 'unique' intelligence of this one,
you might need to direct to the right page too
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)

I've done above and beyond my bit
They can fuck off now
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:01, archived)

Re: subjects, I think they're quite polite

(