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# b3ta interviews Mr Biscuits
Nicey has been all over the news this week with his nicecupofteaandasitdown website.

So we're going to interview him.

If you've got a question for Nicey, add it to this thread and we'll make sure he gets them all.
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:39, archived)
# What type
of seating is best for enjoying a nice cup of tea and a sit down? And for that matter, does he have a tea preference?
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:41, archived)
# tea or coffee?
(bit obvious but hey)
(I helped save b3ta! ?, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:41, archived)
# Do you ever make biscuits at home?
If so, what type?
(goat thinks you're shit, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:42, archived)
# Jacob's Happy Faces:
if you split them in half, do you eat the jam side first or the cream side, or do you just bite into them?
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:42, archived)
# Should the milk be put in before
or after the tea bag?
(I helped save b3ta! Roxy_Hart is so so old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
#
is there any biscuit you wish would come back into circulation?
(I helped save b3ta! tef, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
# Do you consider...
...the Jaffa cake a cake or a biscuit?
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
# he's done this before,
it's a cake.
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:44, archived)
# i thought it was
essential..
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:46, archived)
# but...
...is it a cake or a meringue?

Anyone from Glasgow on tonight?
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:49, archived)
# my sister
once told that joke with the punchline "is that a cake in the window or am I wrong" and couldn't work out why people didn't laugh

Why do chocolate and coconut go so well together?
They're bound tae (Bounty - works best when told in a Scots accent)
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:54, archived)
# arf!
I laughed
The bounty ones works quite well in a mackem or geordie or basic North East accent as well
(I helped save b3ta! Roxy_Hart is so so old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:57, archived)
# ack
mindpiss







and lets not talk of the mackems *shivers*
(I helped save b3ta! fassit is old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:59, archived)
# *slap*
bloodie geordies, they should all be hereded into the bloody sea!
(I helped save b3ta! Roxy_Hart is so so old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:02, archived)
# oh good
lord.

you arent a mackem are you?
(I helped save b3ta! fassit is old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:03, archived)
# works for geordies
too you know :)
(I helped save b3ta! fassit is old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:58, archived)
# the nicecupoftea revolution is underway
who's going to be first against the wall in the world of tea and biscuits?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
# quiche
cake or pie?

arm hair - yes or no?
(I helped save b3ta! bananaman, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
# little finger extended?
or just plain wrong?
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
# I think it depends.
If your tea is in a mug, the finger must be in, but from a proper tea cup the little finger just HAS to be extended.
(goat thinks you're shit, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:46, archived)
# .
so what about from a pint glass?
(fatty biscuits, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 1:36, archived)
# and does it
mean your gay if you extend it with a mug?
(I helped save b3ta! Maffydoo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:51, archived)
# Jam AND Chocolate biscuits,
Why do we almost never see them?
(goat thinks you're shit, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
# u bastard...
see below
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:45, archived)
# Burton's
teatime teacakes - biscuit base, blob of jam, marshmallow and covered in chocolate.
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:45, archived)
# I said "almost"
I stand by it.
(goat thinks you're shit, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:47, archived)
# Kooka's Country
Cookies- Jam AND chocolate!!! Bonza!

(Missie Missie, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 13:52, archived)
# jammy wagonwheels.
they rule.
(I helped save b3ta! mrRush, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:05, archived)
# Jacob's Chocolate Mikado
but that may be marshmallow perhaps, and ROI only...
(I helped save b3ta! WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 16:06, archived)
# how do you eat your biscuits?
(I helped save b3ta! ?, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:43, archived)
# .
Did you actually make the website because you seriously like biscuits so much, or was it just created only for a bit of fun?
(1, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:44, archived)
# goats...
brown or white?
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:44, archived)
# what is ur opinion
on wagon wheels
(I helped save b3ta! The Incredible... accident free since, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:45, archived)
# were they
really bigger, when we were kids?
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:45, archived)
# I know the answer to this
but I'm not saying
(I helped save b3ta! Fraser has joined the Moomins., Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:46, archived)
# yes...
*runs and hides
(I helped save b3ta! ?, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:47, archived)
# but
does he???
EDIT : wagonwheels... i mean wagon wheels...
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:50, archived)
# factory
moved to Wales, didn't make the frilly bits any more, they did become fractionally smaller. but it is mainly that we're bigger.
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:55, archived)
# yes, yes
they were, f'in huge
(I helped save b3ta! M3Essential and The Essentials. LIVE!, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:46, archived)
# Our
hands were smaller
(I helped save b3ta! wooltech has his finger in the air so you can't see him, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:19, archived)
# whats your favourite biscuit?
(I helped save b3ta! ?, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:46, archived)
# Spoons
I leave the spoon in the mug. How wrong is this?
(I helped save b3ta! Maffydoo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:47, archived)
# you would
need a spoonguard
i think
(I helped save b3ta! Dave - KneHigHbOb talks, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:53, archived)
# As I understand it...
... There is no spoon.
(nordicapollo, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 14:01, archived)
# Can we expect reviews of unusual teas
and perhaps even gourmet tea/biscuit combinations such as Jaffa cakes and Twinings Ayurvedic stimulating tea? Or is one just going for the "mass" market?

What is the correct manipulation and orientation sequence for a dunked Rich Tea biscuit to avoid bottom sloppage?

Would you consider lazing in a hammock, with Earl Gray and chocolate caramel digestives for more than half an hour an act of decadence?

(It doesn't always sting when you piSSSS., Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:47, archived)
# it's a buscuit site primarily.
what you want is a tea site...
(joshwa ultra lurker, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 17:55, archived)
# Coconut biscuits.
why?
(I helped save b3ta! .spanky is singing "PEANUTS!", Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:48, archived)
# Biscuit (n. French)
Is it safe?
(Fuzzbutt aka Mr. Natural, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:51, archived)
# Do cheese based biscuits annoy you
?
(I helped save b3ta! koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:51, archived)
# i would like to ask:
what about coffee you bastard?!
(I helped save b3ta! fassit is old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:51, archived)
# will there be more marrows this year?
i liked the marrow smashing
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:52, archived)
# Yes.
More marrow smashing. Woo.
(tomsk, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:54, archived)
# I want to hear
the expert view on Jaffa Cakes. Cake or Biscuit?
(I helped save b3ta! Maffydoo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:52, archived)
# Look up
It's been asked and answered
(I helped save b3ta! Roxy_Hart is so so old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:54, archived)
# yes but
are they experts?
(I helped save b3ta! Maffydoo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:55, archived)
# um
i'm pretty sure it says that this question has already been answered by mr website blokie so yes he is classed as an expert
(I helped save b3ta! Roxy_Hart is so so old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:58, archived)
# I humbly
retract the question and beg your forgiveness. Oh, and your gay.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffydoo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:04, archived)
# You have forgiveness
and yes I know I am :)
(I helped save b3ta! Roxy_Hart is so so old, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:06, archived)
# but
Wouldn't they be called Jaffa biscuits if they were, um, biscuits?
(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:18, archived)
# i wish to soak my biscuit in my tea
for as long as possible to get it nice and soft and yummy, but also have it retain absolutely strength. how can i do this? will you make me a steal biscuit retainer?
(I helped save b3ta! stevierar, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:53, archived)
# I can lend you a spelchecka
.
(It doesn't always sting when you piSSSS., Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:59, archived)
# why
is your server so bloody slow?

or is it just me?
(I helped save b3ta! zerolicious, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:57, archived)
# If you could be a biscuit
What would you be and why?
(maddave, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:57, archived)
# A related question
If B3ta were a biscuit, what kind of biscuit would it be?
(ShiteMonger, Tue 17 Jun 2003, 21:51, archived)
# Are the pink wafer biscuits found in biscuit boxes
just a sales kop-out in order to satisfy the children ?
(I helped save b3ta! koit WWW.HIGHASAKOIT.CO.UK, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 19:58, archived)
# Cookies, US-style.
Does their chewiness (rather than biscuity crispness) disqualify them from biscuit status?
(I helped save b3ta! Cassidy : Vissi d'arte, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:00, archived)
# can you
walk like an Egyptian?
And should there be a law limiting the amount of times a tea bag can be reused? What would the maximum limit be?
(I helped save b3ta! Kallus speaks for the Spores, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:05, archived)
# Most perfect biscuit moment
environment, biscuit, cup or mug etc...The nirvana of biscuits is what I seek.
(I helped save b3ta! fishbear, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:05, archived)
# I like
that question a lot.

Mine is: Nicecupoftea Industries is releasing a biscuit to conquer the world of biscuity snacks and utterly beguile the tea-drinking nations of Earth. What would it be made of? And what would you call it?
(I helped save b3ta! amygdala, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:39, archived)
# tea-drinking naturists.
Is the freedom of nudity worth the risk of a nasty scald?
(I helped save b3ta! Kallus speaks for the Spores, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:08, archived)
# Have you
got bored with the inevitable questions interviewers ask, and started to tell lies?
(Astatine, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:08, archived)
# next question...
are you sure?
(I helped save b3ta! 5olly, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:12, archived)
# What kind of gravy
do you like on your biscuits?
(Frezedriedelvis, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:10, archived)
# best dunking biscuits in order of preference.
will mcvities caramels ever be surpassed?
(I helped save b3ta! mrRush, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:12, archived)
# whats your position on tea on the move........
ie from a cafe or a mobile snack bar?
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:15, archived)
# What do you think of vegans
In regards to the fact that the biscuit choice they have is very limited, and what do you think of soya milk in your tea? Do you feel sorry for lactose intolerant people because they can have so few biscuits?
(I helped save b3ta! wanky art student is liable to phwoar at any minute, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:18, archived)
# Ah, but...
Even worse to be allergic to gluten though, surely.
(elmsyrup, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 19:39, archived)
# What are your feelings
on tea-bagging, and have you ever tea-bagged anyone?
(Frezedriedelvis, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:21, archived)
# can you
really suck tea through a kit kat with the ends bitten off or is that just bullshit?
(felixthehat oh this is new, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:24, archived)
# It works better
with rum and cadburys fingers.
(I helped save b3ta! LP, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:57, archived)
# What's da bombiest?
Camolmile or Apple, Raisin and Cinnamon tea?mmmmmcinnamon
(Sister Paul has something in his pants on, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:36, archived)
# What would you do for a Klondike bar?
(I helped save b3ta! Or is it?, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:47, archived)
# Nicey,
How do you stop yourself half way through a pack of hobnobs?

I can't buy them where I live, and when I can get people to bring them, I like to make them last as long as I can.

But you know - when Im sitting down with a nice cup of PG tips, and a pack of choccy hob nobs, I just have to scoff the lot.

Your advice on biscuit control techniques would be appreciated.
(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:52, archived)
# hmm.
what is your opinion on big boxes of broken biscuits you get in markets?
(roboglitch, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 20:52, archived)
# PIKEY!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 1:50, archived)
# .
your heed fu' oh broken biscuits
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 9:44, archived)
# It's late, you spy bacon in the fridge, fresh bread in the cupboard:
but there's no sauce. None. No red, no brown, not even salad cream you sick freak. Leave the house and purchase sauce or go commando, as it were?

Who makes the best jaffa cakes? It's Lyons isn't it? Thought so. Lyons.

Garden gnomes: harmless fun or undercover communists?

If the Jolly Green Giant were in real life as jolly as he appears, what would be his biscuit of choice?

Burbons or Custard Creams?

Upon biscuitular collapse during sub-surface dunkage, to spoon or not to spoon?
(Pablissimo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:03, archived)
# I don't drink tea...
... am I breaking the law when I eat "Rich Tea" biscuits? If so, can you suggest a more legal substitute?
(Tri-ang is keeping up his 1 post per 2 months average, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:04, archived)
# surely
"Morning Coffee" would suffice, or are you a complete "no hot drinks" loon? In that case "Marie" biscuits provide the same simple pleasure without the associated hot beverage obligation.
(Lambkin, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 0:21, archived)
# Those pink wafery biscuits
biscuit essential or kiddy food?
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:06, archived)
# 4 types dammit !!
i got 4 types of biscuits on the biscuit tin challenge.obviously i want to improve my knowledge of tht wat tips would u give me 4 recognising biscuits? (great site!)
(I helped save b3ta! m-a-t-t -- formerly mini hasn't been on here for EVER!, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:15, archived)
# Would you recommend
biting the two ends off a penguin bar and sucking tea through it to be a worthwhile pursiut?
(Spin Doctor, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:17, archived)
# when you go on the pull,
do you tell girls you run a website about tea and biscuits?
(I helped save b3ta! feckless the pirate, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:17, archived)
# No
he bloody doesn't ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:41, archived)
# Why can't I keep those pesky kids
...away from my wonderful hazelnut and choc chip cookies? I've tried everything short of pungee pits and bear traps.
(Javan, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 21:35, archived)
# Dear Nicey
what would be your perfect biscuit that doesn't already exist and why?
(Deiwos - Woo I found my old name!, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 22:07, archived)
# If an evil dictator ruled the world
and wanted to ban biscuits, what biscuit would you use as an example to best convince him of his folly?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 22:14, archived)
# do you ever think about biscuits?
digestives maybe,
(I helped save b3ta! anythingbutthisactually, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 22:23, archived)
# Jaffa, kree!
What do you think of Stargate-SG1 making a character out of a popular choccy yet cakey morsel?
(I helped save b3ta! Chupacabra owes me ten quid, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 22:28, archived)
# Which of these new biscuit flavours would you prefer?
Daddy flavour
or
Chips flavour
(JaffaMused local in the So.Cal, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 22:40, archived)
# Biscuit barrel or biscuit tin?
What type of material is preferable for storing one's biscuits?

Do you like kittens?
(Fido Dido, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 22:45, archived)
# Mr God-Of-Biscuits...
...is Richard Madeley of 'Richard & Judy' fame a twat in real life?
And who would win in a fight between Madeley & Robert Kilroy Silk?

And if you could name a biscuit what would you call it?

Thank you
:)
(Boss Mew Covfefe does not bargain...it only covfefes., Thu 12 Jun 2003, 22:49, archived)
# Which of the following
can you fit (without chewing) in your mouth:
Cadbury's finger
Jammie Dodger
Digestive
Wagon wheel
Those damn great cookies you get in cafes and service stations
.
(stickybellyflapcock, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:00, archived)
# A question of Couk
What is the best way to enjoy a hearty munch: Casually posing in a kitchen chair with one Hobnob, listening to Radio 4, or slumped in a sofa with a stack of Caramel Digestives, watching bad TV?
(I helped save b3ta! Couk, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:12, archived)
# If you could combine three biscuits into one perfect Superbiscuit,
what would it be?
(I helped save b3ta! wooltech has his finger in the air so you can't see him, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:24, archived)
# Who do you rate as a writer?
Do you know any good jokes?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:31, archived)
# Did you just see the last episode of Buffy?
Was it a good end to seven seasons?
(I helped save b3ta! wooltech has his finger in the air so you can't see him, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:33, archived)
# Well ...
The whole female empowerment jobby nearly made me cry (in a non-gay way)
(I helped save b3ta! Chupacabra owes me ten quid, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:53, archived)
# ladies
will swarm around me like b33z
(I helped save b3ta! Chupacabra owes me ten quid, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:58, archived)
# Only if you look like the heroic Spike
and if you do, Honey, I'm swarming with the rest of them...

(Oolong, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 8:37, archived)
# Tea...
Do fruit teas have a place in a civilised society and if so, which is your favourite?
(I helped save b3ta! timothycrippins, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:46, archived)
# pretzels.
what's that all about, eh?
(I helped save b3ta! mrRush, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:51, archived)
# question
Whats the best way of rescuing a biscuit thats fallen in to your tea?
(CheekyMonkey, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:53, archived)
# Which biscuits are you
sick of people sending you?
(Cousin It, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:53, archived)
# Ever had...
...a biscuit that was more savoury than sweet? Were it any good? What country was it from?
(the_caie, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 23:53, archived)
# Ahhh, but...
We know about tea, we know more than is healthy now about biscuits, but what is your favourite way to sit down?
(gelfling, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 0:04, archived)
# I'm going to Glastonbury this year, and I've seen those cans
of tea where you press a button, and red liquid heats the tea up...

Would you recommend this, of should I go for the "£1 for a cup of hot hippy bum-water, passed swiftly through a tea bag for the 80th time" option?

PS: If the price of the can makes a difference, it's about £1.50

PPS: Do you reckon that by extracting the red liquid, I'll be able to keep my hands warm on cold festival nights?
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Fri 13 Jun 2003, 0:04, archived)
# Could all the bicuit-related media attention ever put you off biscuits themselves?

Does leaf tea taste better than teabag tea, or are they just being all poncey and daft?
(tomsk, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 0:18, archived)
#
Tim Tams: Better than sex with carrol vordamon on countdown, live?

Store-Brand 'vs' Biscuit-Company-Brand?

Are indivualy wrapped bickys (ie, Kit-Kat, Penguins etc) biscuites or chockys?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 0:34, archived)
# As a board regular
Are you having trouble resisting jumping in here and replying to our questions, right here, right now?

I bet you are, aren't you?

Go on. I dare you.
(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 0:53, archived)
# No I shall resist it
.
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 22:17, archived)
# where in the US
is it possible to buy digestives? Preferably Mcvities.

yesh, I have a bit of a thing for them. And they are impossible to find. Here it's all Oreos and Chips Ahoy in the cookie aisle
(norumbegan, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 6:27, archived)
# Try and english store
or www.goodwoods.com
(I helped save b3ta! Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 20:22, archived)
# edibles
why biscuits and not crumpets?
(I helped save b3ta! winston_theramin, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 6:59, archived)
# come on now...
Well, that's *obvious*.
(elmsyrup, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 19:27, archived)
# Is the sit down vital?
Some things taste more real from polystyrene cups taken on the move...
(I helped save b3ta! wingpig wish I'd known about liquify eighteen years ago, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 7:08, archived)
# do
you remember the Dundee biscuit , they were everywhere when I was a kid , a huge single biscuit , shortbready in consistency , half covered in really thick chocolate , what happened to them , they just disappeared or were they just part of a crazy dream?
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:05, archived)
# You own a Jar Jar-Binks Mug,
Is it a Jar or a Mug?
(radical k Maker of stuff, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:15, archived)
# What do your parents and friends think of
your 'obsession'?

Are they proud of you now you are a media star?
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:17, archived)
# Is Judy as much of a bitch as
she seems on telly?
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:29, archived)
# Nice biscuits...
pronounced "nice" (as in pleasant) or "Nice" (as in the place in France)?
(I helped save b3ta! JugglerJAF It's curtains for you.Lacy gently wafting curtains, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:33, archived)
# oooooh. good one.
(I helped save b3ta! mrRush, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 10:35, archived)
# I've
always wanted to know...
(I helped save b3ta! JugglerJAF It's curtains for you.Lacy gently wafting curtains, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 19:16, archived)
# Chocolate Covered Garibaldi
As a Kid I remeber eating Garibaldi Biscuits (the ones that look like they've got squished flies in) which had a milk chocolate covering on the top. Do you recall these wonders ?
(I helped save b3ta! fastcar, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:34, archived)
# Do you recommend certain biscuits with certain teas,
if so what biscuit would you recommend to go with Lapsang Souchong?
(I helped save b3ta! Dai_Marzipan Ain't no party like an S Club party, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:50, archived)
# Are you worried that your recent fame explosion will
result in a massive bandwidth bill?

Will you have to ask people to donate milk and sugar to keep you going?

PS I like the ickle tea cup in the address bar.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:52, archived)
# Are there ever times
when you regret that this is what your fifteen minutes of fame has turned out to be?
Are you aware that for the rest of time you will be known as "that biscuits bloke off the internet" even if you find a cure for cancer?
Do you like the Monty Python "society for putting things on top of other things" sketch?
What has been your favourite biscuit-fame related experience thus far?
Of all the presenters you have met as a result of this, who has been the tallest?
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:56, archived)
# Where
did you have your worst ever cup of tea?

Is there a biscuit that you would say is only marginally preferable to sawdust?
(DuckieMonster, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 9:58, archived)
# Florentines
essentially sugar, chocolate and candied fruit - but are they a biscuit?
(Dogsbody, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 10:02, archived)
# What do you
think the word "soliloquize" means?
(NoToRiouS, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 10:21, archived)
# If your house was on fire
what one pack of tea and/or biscuits would you save?
(Zxahn, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 10:26, archived)
# if you were us and we were you, what question would you ask?
now that you're an internet millionaire, can you lend me a tenner?
who is the most famous person you've ever met?
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 10:43, archived)
# Novelty Teapots / Tea cosies
Can they ever be justified, or do they distract from the simple joy of tea and biscuits?
(I helped save b3ta! Monkeyboy, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 10:54, archived)
# Chocolate teapots...
...have you ever used one and are they as inefficiant as people imagine?
(I helped save b3ta! Manofmilk walks without rhythm but still attracts the worm, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:05, archived)
# did you kill my pa?
why haven't dunk-proof biscuits been invented yet?
are McVities head of the illuminati?
how many dead flies in the average garibaldi?
hobnobs are stuck together with wallpaper paste : true or false?
did Judy react weirdly when you mentioned 'spongy bottom'?
have you got anything to do with the dissapearance of the PG Tips chimps?
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:06, archived)
# Gin
Some coffee drinkers mix a little brandy or whiskey into their foul brown suspensions... is it equally endearing and high brow to slip a little Gin into one's Assam or Earl Grey?
(I helped save b3ta! armaitus Sheep Casings!, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:16, archived)
# What biscuit do you think
could bring about world peace ?

Is there a conspiracy to prevent its manufacture and sale?
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:22, archived)
# Does it annoy you
when you get a packet of "biscuits for cheese" and they're all crackers?

Do you think there's any biscuit that goes better with cocoa than tea or coffee?

Is it wrong to put cream in tea instead of milk?

Have you ever tried making your own biscuits?

Did you ever see those giant cookies you used to be able to get that were always past their sell by dates?

What's the deal with Boost bars? They're not primarily biscuit but they have those little blobs in- does that count?

Do you think smashing them up to make cheap apple crumble is a worthy use of digestives?

Have you ever had chocolate biscuit cake?
(nN, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:24, archived)
# double line spacing?
are you a sociology student?
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:28, archived)
# No
I'm just used to bloody WebX :)
(nN, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 17:42, archived)
# why have triangular biscuits never caught on?
(I helped save b3ta! giblethead2000, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:28, archived)
# Earl Grey/Green Gunpowder/Lapsang Souchong with milk?
or is that just plain wrong?
(Reply, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:41, archived)
# teabags
Round, Square or Pyramid?
(I helped save b3ta! bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:46, archived)
# Teapots:
Metal or ceramic?
(I helped save b3ta! HP hasn't been here in aaaaaages, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 11:53, archived)
# is it,...........
Ice Lolly or Lolly Ice?
(Chutney_Pie, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 12:51, archived)
# have you ever hit a child?
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 13:01, archived)
# .
Do you have a favourite tv programme to sit with the tea and biscuits? mine is 15 to 1
(I helped save b3ta! mcleod666, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 13:07, archived)
# Why? Why? WHY? WHY????!
....are there no biscuits with an embossed llama on them? We need them!!
(gorebear, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 13:23, archived)
# pink or brown?
well?
(Ash_Pow is now available in extra medium, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 13:45, archived)
# Pink waffers
Why are they sooooooooo Addictive??????
(Adaminho, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:26, archived)
# Because they put heroin in them.
*FACT*
(I helped save b3ta! christhebarker, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 13:57, archived)
# Do you every drink tea standing up?
.
(I helped save b3ta! alistair, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 13:47, archived)
# I know about the
Garibaldi and the Bourbon, but is there really a Peek Freans Trotski assortment?

Do you Know if there is a biscuit with meat in it?

I've got a mate called biscuit - do you know him?

Biscuit/tea flavoured condoms - why not?

Has the mini jammy dodger got the jam:biscuit ratio right?

Is Finnigan a bit hairy close up?

(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 14:02, archived)
# a biscuit with meat?
this man is an international superstar. please don't waste his time with such ridiculous questions. thankyou.




*snigger*
(I helped save b3ta! mrRush, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 17:55, archived)
# Why is it
that I haven't posted a question here for a year and a half?

And why did you give up on the ducks..
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 14:43, archived)
# Do you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit?
(I helped save b3ta! bloid ....dloibbloiddloibbloid...., Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:13, archived)
# do you think that it might ever be possible
to create a biscuit that could rule Iraq?
If so, do you think an evil dictator might eat it?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:13, archived)
# questions questions questions
Daddy? or biscuits?
(I helped save b3ta! nowimboard shouted "Bring On The Trumpets!" at, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:20, archived)
# what
my mum has a friend called Cookie. Are you jealous?

Do you know anyone (or looked up in the phone book) who's named after a biscuit, e.g.

Gary Baldy
Richard Tea
(cheesepump, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:32, archived)
# have you thought
of creating biscuit league tables?
seperating the biscuits by type? (plain, chocolate coated and cream/jam filled, wrapped (penguins, club etc))
and then people could vote on your site for their favourites. And you could have a yearly biscuit knock-out tournament where the biscuits mix leagues and fight to the death in a crumbly battle royale! Yarrr! Biscuits!!!!!

And what would your dream biscuit be?

And have you thought about trying to get a job at McVities or Foxes? Or would that corrupt your partisan biscuit eatingness?
(I helped save b3ta! fishsticks, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:41, archived)
# If you could have any famous person for dinnner
who would you eat?
(Mademoiselle BOO, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 15:52, archived)
# I like to eat plain chocolate digestives with a slice of cheddar on top...
Am I a freak?

Because my flatmate says that I am, but what does he know, he's ginger
Edit: Apparently my boyfriend agrees with my flatmate, but what would he know, he's gay
(I helped save b3ta! LP, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 16:03, archived)
# i used to know someone
who had butter & marmalade on theirs. sick or what?
(I helped save b3ta! mrRush, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 17:58, archived)
# Hold hands
with all the freaks in yorkshire - they eat cheese with chrimbo cake tha nose.
(I helped save b3ta! Cosmo Smallpiece Nickers Nackers Knockers, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 9:22, archived)
# because
"Cake without cheese
Is like a kiss without a squeeze"

...or so I've been told. My vote would be "freak" nonetheless I'm afraid.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 23:48, archived)
# What was the point at which you decided tea and biscuits needed a website?
Why do you think your site has recently gained so much media acclaim?
Worst Biscuit Ever?
Daddy or Chips?
Biscuits - for all, or discriminatory?
Worst question you've been asked?

And the Standard Interview Four Questions:
*What exactly is the problem?
*So what exactly is the solution?
*What are the politicians doing about it?
*And how much will it cost?


Also congratulations on doing so well with your site! >
(I helped save b3ta! WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 16:13, archived)
# Spit or swallow?
When offered custard cream or garibaldi I always opt for the custard cream safe in the knowledge that I will not be eating any dead flies which I would have to cough into my handkerchief whilst distracting my hostess by complimenting her upon her unusual teapot. Do you have a mental strategy for dealing with the dead fly/garibaldi association and if you were to find that you were eating a real dead fly would you spit or swallow? Would your answer differ if you were in polite company?
(Westude, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 16:16, archived)
# What are your views on dipping a Chocolate Hob Nob
into a cup of hot chocolate?
Are trifle fingers acceptable as a replacement for biscuits?
Have you ever timed how long it takes for a biscuit to reached saturation point when placed in a cup of tea?
If someone asks you if you'd like a dead fly biscuit do you know what they're talking about?
Ever eaten Dog biscuits?
Which questions do you like most, ones about biscuits or the ones that aren't about biscuits?
What's your favourite sound?
What's your favourite swear word?
Have you ever milked a cow to get milk for your tea?
(I helped save b3ta! Samsonite, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 16:27, archived)
# WOULD YOU
LIKE TO TOUCH MY BISCUIT?
(pai, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 16:32, archived)
# Garibaldi ettiquette
I like to eat a whole 'sheet' of Garibaldi at one go (rather than snapping it off into smaller individual pieces along the scored lines) as I consider this to be one biscuit.

Is this the correct procedure?
(suckonthisitsblocked, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 16:46, archived)
# What's for tea?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 17:05, archived)
# ???
have you ever had sexual intercors with a biscuit/cake? please be honest
(Thatguy, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 17:42, archived)
# I'm workboresme
Would you?
(I helped save b3ta! Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 19:02, archived)
# Underpants Toast
Nicey,

Underpants Toast was a life-changing discovery for me, and for the past year or so, it has been my all-consuming passion. It has gotten to the point where people lock down their breadboxes when I enter a room.

My dilemma is, after a year of joyously prancing my fingers about while wearing toast and mayo, the magic has finally faded. I need an exciting new food item to play with at the most inappropriate moments. I did some experiments with soups and boullions, but as you can imagine, results were less than satisfying.

Help? Please?
(I helped save b3ta! davelog, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 19:03, archived)
# used teabags
run straight to the bin catching drips in your hand or recepticle to be emptied at a later date?
(I helped save b3ta! lemonhead, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 19:17, archived)
# do you have
a dictionary for all those tea time realted terms? like the propper term for dunking you busicut
(I helped save b3ta! nowimboard shouted "Bring On The Trumpets!" at, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 19:21, archived)
# im really bad at spelling
A) what is the worst spelling of biscuit you have ever seen?

B) can you think of a way to help me remeber how to spell biscuit correctly?
(I helped save b3ta! nowimboard shouted "Bring On The Trumpets!" at, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 19:24, archived)
# Do you call the third meal of the day
(not including snacks) tea or dinner? It can get confusing. Not to mention embarassing.
(Jibbed, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 20:21, archived)
# have you ever eaten a tea bag?
if so, what is your record time?
(I helped save b3ta! mrRush, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 20:45, archived)
# Have you any plans to cover sauces?
I recommend Mojo sauce, found mostly in Lanzarote. It comes in green and red.

But then we all do, if shagging in a poppy field.
(I helped save b3ta! Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Fri 13 Jun 2003, 20:58, archived)
# a few more...
Shortbread is it a cake or a biscuit?

Are Cookies considered biscuits?

What are those 'biscuits' you see on american TV, that they eat with food like fried chicken?

Is a biscuit, in the current contex, anything you can dunk in your cuppa? if so, what about toast?

What are Flapjacks to be considered as?

I know that Bickys are the best to dunk in your tea, but what about other baked goods during your brake?

Surly Tea-Brake should be a brake from tea, therefore I belive we should rename it to Work-Brake. Your Opinon?
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 3:42, archived)
#
Does it mean you're gay if you choose the pink French Fancy?
(stop looking at my goats you bag of spunk, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 10:32, archived)
#
If biscuits could talk what would they say?
(stop looking at my goats you bag of spunk, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 10:45, archived)
# how do you pay for your hosting costs?
what will you do if your bandwidth usage becomes collosal?
(joshwa ultra lurker, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 17:57, archived)
# doesn't it bloody irritate you when biscuits
disintergrate when you dunk them in your tea and you are left with tha gloopy residue at the bottom of your mug?
(Elvis was right to shoot tvs, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 20:28, archived)
# My question is thus:
Have you had a nice day today?

What have you been up to?
(el_pollo_diablo, Sat 14 Jun 2003, 22:11, archived)
# I like ....
i like to `teabag` coffee before serving to friends ...... is this legal?
(Froggy, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 4:43, archived)
# .
Is this how you eat an Oreo?
(kupsta, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 5:21, archived)
# What Happens When
you run out of biscuits to review. This worries me.
(Galapagos Tortise, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 8:21, archived)
# Viscount
Orange or Mint?
(prairie_oysters, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 13:57, archived)
# Blue Riband & Taxi
Bars or biscuits? And was it just me or did they always taste stale? Who would win in a 3-way punch-up; the United, the Breakaway or the Trio?
(prairie_oysters, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 14:12, archived)
# When a tramps stops you and asks for 10p towards a cup of tea
do you give it to him?

are you ever tempted to give him advice?

edit > about biscuits I mean, not hairstlyes or mortgages etc.

or do you mumble something and point down the street and look at your watch, or maybe shout look at the size of that can of special brew, point and run away, or something.
(I helped save b3ta! e.parsley, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 19:10, archived)
# Nice Biscuits
Are they in breach of the Sale of Goods Act?
(I helped save b3ta! Zak Canard remembers this place, vaguely, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 19:53, archived)
# My French teacher at school
told us that the word biscuit derived from the French for 'baked twice'. According to him a double baking process was traditionally employed in biscuit making - hence the name.
Can you enlighten me further? It's always sounded pretty unlikely, I mean, who ever heard of having to bake a biscuit twice? Perhaps your website could include a history of the biscuit and the antecedence of the name.
Oh, and are Brandy snaps due a revival any time soon? I loved them.
(prairie_oysters, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 20:12, archived)
# HONK, PARP
on nicecupofetc you compare the penguin to the tim tam. is there a line to be drawn between such biscuit-esque confectionery as the penguin and the slightly less biscuity-but-still-nearly-the-same-snack-genre bars as "crunch" bars, "blue riband" or even "sesame snaps" and if so where is it that aforementioned line could be considered.
(balls, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 23:12, archived)
# i read your fig biscuits reviews, and it made me tinkle (in my head)
did the "brains" behind nutri-grain bars steal the idea of a fig biscuit and just make it bigger, fruitier, and a hell of a lot more expensive?
(balls, Sun 15 Jun 2003, 23:17, archived)
# Desert island tea...
You're allowed to take one packet of biscuits and one box of loose tea, what type of biccy and what flavour tea would you take?
(Mr_Bobbins, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 9:25, archived)
# I've been invited to play "the biscuit game"
with several "confirmed bachelor" friends of mine.
Any advice as to which biscuits I should bring?
(Bounce, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 12:17, archived)
# nicey
why is it that when I dunk a bourbon biscuit in tea it goes nice and soggy (mmmmmm) but if i dunk it in instant hot chocolate it doesn't??
(Fayeleebum, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 13:47, archived)
# Posh biccies
Which are better- Bahlsen Choco Leibniz or the Cadbury Signature range. I prefer Bahlsen cos they make a clinky noise in the packet, like a box of chalk. And would you rather have a small packet of expensive biccies, or a big packet of cheaper ones?
(elmsyrup, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 18:12, archived)
# oh, and
what happened to chocolate covered pretzels? I loved those.
(elmsyrup, Mon 16 Jun 2003, 19:51, archived)