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Who else here
Thinks Alan Shearer is a cunt?
.
(neorockz :), Fri 22 May 2009, 13:42, archived)
JMG hates the Geordie Pope

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:43, archived)
I heard the pope doesn't like JMG
but pretends he does so as to fit in.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
JMG JMG JMG JMG.....

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:44, archived)
I'm INCREDIBLY wound up on the internet right now.
Aboogaboogabooga!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
This post doesn't contain enough Newcastle or JMG

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
Why would that be?

(I helped save b3ta! Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
I have no opinion on him
Why do you think he's a cunt? Maybe if you talked about it you'd purge some of this anger that's been holding you back all these years.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
meh
think i inherited the hatred from my dad
(neorockz :), Fri 22 May 2009, 13:46, archived)
Spoken like a true child of Fritzl.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:47, archived)
Maybe a frank discussion with your father might be in order
Although I'm not saying he's done anything wrong, I would never criticise your beloved parents.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:48, archived)
well
Shearer was a dirty player in his time
and he is dragging the toon down to the championship.
(neorockz :), Fri 22 May 2009, 13:49, archived)
This is awful news.
You should write a letter to him to let him know how badly he is doing, and that you are most unimpressed with his performance.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:50, archived)
Shut up and fuck off.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:46, archived)
Oh dear.
Oh dear or dear.
How many car knocks/bumps/crashes have you been in? I did a very poor parking manouvre when I was 17, and scraped the side of my mum's car down a concrete column. Mum was a bit cross.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:38, archived)
4.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:38, archived)
I was driving for 2 of them.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:41, archived)
I knocked a wall down by reversing into it
It was only a small wall though. And it got better.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:40, archived)
I've had a couple of low speed driving into things accidents, mostly when I was new at driving
and none for the last few years.

Not had a proper write-off crash. Probably the worst was when Bob's Minibus reversed into me when I was stationary at a traffic light. That wrote the car off, but only because it was a decade-old Fiat Uno.

I was quite cross with Bob.
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:41, archived)
just the one
i lost control at 60-70ish, managed to waggle the car in a straightish line for a bit, then spun it into the central reservation

i spent the rest of the day ecstatic that neither mum, amy, nor dog had been killed. mum spent the rest of the day being annoyed that she didn't have a car any more
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:41, archived)
3
All small ones. The last one was two weeks ago when someone's brakes failed and he ran into the back of my lovely little Mazda :(
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:41, archived)
Three.
Two I was driving, i wrote my pride and joy off in one.

The other I was a passenger.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:42, archived)
None. I don't drive innit.
But I am very bad at crossing the road. I've nearly been run over by Bill Oddie by the BBC in Bristol.
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:42, archived)
those trandems are a bugger to steer

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:44, archived)
I bet he was too busy concentrating on the tits.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:46, archived)
Was a passenger in a big crash a few years back.
Mate was driving down country roads in the dark, and wasn't sure on where he was going. I said ''straight on here'' when we came to a little bend.
He decided straight on means ignore the slight curve and plough directly into a granite hedge.

Much ouchness ensued.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:42, archived)
A granite hedge?
Is that similar to a wall?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
Well, yes.
It's a granite wall that is covered in grass and trees etc. Look quite soft, but then there's granite.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:46, archived)
granite is supergran's one weakness

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:47, archived)
my driving instructor related a story of the first pupil she ever had
they were coming up to a roundabout, and she said "at the next roundabout i want you to turn right." and she did
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:45, archived)
When I was really little
someone crashed into my Mum's car at 40mph, side on at a junction.
I was sat on the side of the car to get hit.

I am convinced that if my Mum hadn't been driving the fattest, heaviest piece of shit Saab in the world I would be dead.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:42, archived)
I've been in 2
One when some twat was speeding on the wrong side of the road, I drove round a corner, saw headlights on my side of the road, swerved and bam. The clio looked like the delorean from BTTF.

Second time someone cut me up and scraped my front bumper.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:43, archived)
I used my horn in anger for the first time today
as some twat decided to cross the dual carriage way I was on.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:43, archived)
I last used mine about this time yesterday,
as a woman drove straight onto the mini roundabout I was halfway round, forcing me to stop to avoid her hitting me - that's how late she was looking. It would have been a real mess, she was doing about 30mph and never even looked.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:47, archived)
Three that stick in mind
Ripped the front wing of mothers car by crashing into a hedge
Backed into a 309 taking out the entire side of it
Wrote off a Mk1 Escort when I crashed into a rover
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:44, archived)
I have written off a few different types of motorbike (Not my fault yet)
In unrelated news i have just noticed Pasanonic has 9 posts left before he reaches 20'000 posts, i feel it would only be right for someone to mark this special occasion.
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:44, archived)
been in 3 crashes, none of which I was driving at the time.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:44, archived)
Remind me to never carry you as a passenger.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:48, archived)
Just one proper bump
where a dozy blonde pulled out into the side of my car.
(I helped save b3ta! Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

into and jizzed all over
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:49, archived)
I flipped my 307 in a hill climb when I clipped the inside of a 3 corner,
oh, real accidents.. :(

I was on a bus that an XR31 decided to hit at about 50 mph, good times.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:48, archived)
I'm shitting myself here
I have a job interview, and I can't wear smart clothes (I usually stun them with a trouser suit, but she wants me in jeans and tshirt) and have to rely on London Transport to get me there. I also don't know what to say.

How're you?
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
Can't wear smart clothes?
I thought you'd just got a job at a grooming parlour?
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
Job INTERVIEW

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Pretty sure she can read....

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
Maybe she misheard the question

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Pretty sure SHE CAN READ

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
Why can't you wear smart clothes?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
It's for a porn film.
He's playing the part of the tradesman, popping round to do a bit of plumbing.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
You can't wear smart clothes?
Do you have some sort of clothes downs?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
I could understand if it was 'I can't wear glasses'

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
I'm going over to LotW for a bit
I know that if I stay here I'm going to say something horribly offensive to Quasimodo.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Oh God, I'm doing it already.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
You can't offend me
You're Wormulus
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
This is possibly the most sensible thing you've ever said.
You have summed up how I should be interpreted.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
don't mess about with a trouser suit
stun them with a taser
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
sorry, I typed that wrong
what I meant to say was, why can't you wear smart clothes?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Jeans and a shirt?
Why?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Are you applying to be a lesbian?

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
He will have to take an oral exam before he gets offered the position.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
It's a dog grooming job
I assume she wants me to prove I can cope with being covered in drool, hair and water.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:29, archived)
Just take her out with you on a Friday night...

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
Erm
I'm not a lesbian
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Not even a faux-internet one?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
Nah

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

you only need to prove you can cope with that if you want to spend time on /talk
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Dog grooming?
Just wear bin bags.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:37, archived)
Well, I think I'm going to invest in waterproofs if I get it
But I did apply a bit late, knowing my luck I'll get there and she'll have given the job away already
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:39, archived)
I'm shitting myself here
mainly down to gastroenteritis
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, archived)
Just tell them you love dogs
Really love dogs. And rub your trousers while you talk about them.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Well, I noticed they have those ridiculous dog outfits in the window
So I just have to say that I go gaga over them, I guess.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:32, archived)
Rub yourself against them going 'oh fucking yeah, you naughty bitch you'
And then sit down and stare at the owner directly in the eye, grinning.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
Soiling yourself probably won't help the interview.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Try to match the tshirt and jeans to what the company are like
If they are very informal, go scruffy. If they are a stylish place, up the smartness level a bit, wear a jacket or something. They normally like to see that you've done some homework on what they are about.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:31, archived)
Then she'll turn up and they'll go 'How did you know that's how we dress? STALKER!' and then phone the police.
Again.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
It's the one time you're expected to stalk a bit.
If you're interviewing, the first thing you notice is whether they've bothered to google the expensive website you've paid for.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:36, archived)
I DID! I DID!
Now I know they do anal gland clearing. Probably the smelliest part of dog handling.
(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:37, archived)
Eeewwww.
On the plus side, you can probably claim against regular showers you'll need on your tax return.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:39, archived)
Tax return? I haven't done one of them in my life

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:41, archived)
So googling the website = ok
Turning up wearing the skin of their last pet = not ok

I should write this down
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:37, archived)
In the past hour I've been cut off
and reattached to O2. I've also discovered the wonder of Double Decker Duo.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:33, archived)
Is that when you get two double deckers and stick them together?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:34, archived)
Then eat them

(I helped save b3ta! Methylene Blue - electrohead, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:36, archived)
It's two Double Deckers in a pack.
For if you're feeling even fatter than normal.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:36, archived)
Oh man, you Englanders truly live the life of luxury
I shall weep into my croissant later
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:38, archived)
Is it a bigger pack?
Or the usual size cut in half?
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:39, archived)
WOBBLERS!
What's for banter, this afternoon?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:07, archived)
There has been greasy tears and much pulling of hair, I believe
Much seriousness
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
HAHAHAAA!
Tell me more!
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
B3ta is entirely populated by cunts JMG
CUNTS. Allegedly. So we're told.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
Maybe this is because I'm..
..walking this week's image challenge?
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:14, archived)
Threats of offline violence, online
It must be dangerous work leading b3ta into the new millennium.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:16, archived)
B3TA
A PLACE WHERE CUNTS CALL CUNTS CUNTS ™
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

it's the Ronseal of cuntyness
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
I'm a terrible person JMG.
I've upset the entire Internet.
Sexface is trying to appropriate Cock Tuesday for some reason.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
I suspect it's some attempt to hilariously satirise it.
All it really does is draw more attention to the meme, which in turn draws more attention to me.

He can't really make it any shitter than it already is. Really the worst thing he could do would be to be to make it better.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
Whenever I accuse people of trying to be like JMG when using the term "wobble", it can spiral things out of complete control.
As a leader of b3ta and one time Mrs Universe, I am at pains to put up with these ugly people as it's beneath me.
However, as I'm also a LOVELY CHAP. I cope with them, but only to an extent.

I'm a swell guy.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:13, archived)
Don't swell too much, though.

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

someone's been offended Jammie, I don't think this has happened before, has it?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:09, archived)
I'm eating Toffee. Yummy.

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:09, archived)
God I love a bit of toffee.
Nothing in it, mind.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:12, archived)
What about nuts JMG
all real men like confectionary with NUTS in.
Like snickers.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

but the best kind has an 'e'
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:13, archived)
You can go fuck yourself too you little toad.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:20, archived)
:-0
I've never been so insulted! I don't come to this site to be needlessly abused! It just isn't in the spirit of things! If this was the kind of site where people continually accused each other of the most despicable and depraved acts a human being could stoop to, I could understand it, but this just isn't that sort of place! Or have I been horribly mislead? You fucking fuck-fuckity-fuck-up type of fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:26, archived)
Oh I don't like nuts in things.
A breaking news story.
(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:14, archived)
I shouldn't have drunk all that milk
I have a meeting now and I've drunk too much milk
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
And you didn't even get off your horse.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

you'll have to have a nap on the desk. Try to hold off until AOB.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
Someone said the internet was a bad place.
I got very angry at this and am currently setting up a tribunal.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
I heard the internet took maddie

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
I don't know about that.
but the internet was the judge that only gave the mum of Baby P 5 years.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:15, archived)
MOVING TOMORROW JAMMER
There's going to be a housewarming with o**line g**ls
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:12, archived)
I'm quite sure 90nz0's broken up by all this.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:14, archived)
Tears have been shed.
He'll get over it when sexface makes his first move.
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:15, archived)
offline gulls?
SCCCRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWK-AKAKAKAKAKAKA
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:17, archived)
How some people can do nothing right, regardless of actually doing exactly what they're meant to
and what sort of new glasses I should get tomorrow.

Don't worry though, I'll discuss amongst myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:13, archived)
frameless glasses, they are ace

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:25, archived)
I buggered up my ACA exam, and am resitting it next week.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:13, archived)
:-0
The Additional Costs Allowance? Wow, I didn't know the Fees Office could move so fast!
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:15, archived)
All Coppers Are....
you just needed to draw a big B on the page.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:16, archived)
Someone had a wobble at me last night.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:17, archived)
hello JMG
would you officially endorse my birthday, please?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:19, archived)
Oh I will. With FIRM HANDS.

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
I was magnificant in 5 a side football today.
Performance of the season I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:20, archived)
*Applause from the terraces*

(I helped save b3ta! Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, archived)
i love sylar
sylar is WIN
(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
He's very attractive, but not when he's nice.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
Who/what is sylar?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
This.
Sounds very sci-fi.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:05, archived)
I'm a very sci-fi kind of person apparently

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
Baddie from Heroes

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
SPOCKLAR

(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
Heroes is shit
I've said it before.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
I don't really like it either
it insists upon itself.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:05, archived)
Shallow and pedantic.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
STOP BULLYING SPANGOLIN ON HER BIRTHDAY

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
SO MEAN
:(
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
GET BACK IN YOUR FUCKING CORNER.
She knows the joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
Shame you don't
Why do you take everything to heart so much?
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:10, archived)
I was joking with you just then.
*head in hands*

Spangles, sorry for quoting Family Guy at you. I'll leave you well alone.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
Wowzers, you carry on quoting whatever the hell you like at me
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:16, archived)
5 good minutes at the beginning of each episode
boring shit for the next 35mins,
5 good minutes at the end.

too many characters, very few likeable ones, a plot written by a spastic and too much deus ex machina.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
I can never tell what's going on
and the hype around it doesn't help.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:09, archived)
24 is much better
simple action packed fun with just enough depth (not a lot) to keep you interested.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
again, I have to pay too much attention to that to figure out who's doing what
boooring.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:18, archived)
No you don't, all you need to know for 24 is
Jack Bauer is always right,
Terrorists are bad
Beaurocrats wont let jack DO HIS JOB
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:24, archived)
Deadwood is the true series for the heterosexual man.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
*BIG TENS*
plus mad men, and state of play.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
I might buy Boston Legal.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
I look like him in this picture apparently
this one here
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:05, archived)
It's the eyebrows. You've got nice eyebrows.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
yeah!
topclass!
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:07, archived)
Aww.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:08, archived)
I used to get teased over my eyebrows mercilessly when I was younger
They didn't grow fully until I was a teenager so I looked like a vulcan
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:09, archived)
I keep almost plucking my eyebrows into vulcan ones

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:11, archived)
Sexy vulcan
Just as long as you don't lack emotion.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:12, archived)
Or lop off all my hair in an attempt to look like a 14 year old River Phoenix.
Yes, T'Pol, I mean you.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:14, archived)
shut your whore mouth
she's super hot
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:19, archived)
Can I take this opportunity to apologise unreservedly to everyone on here.
I am really, really sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:56, archived)
*Father Jack*
I'm soooooo, soooooo sorry
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
The thing is, I know how annoying I am.
I understand.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
I do too.
How annoying we both are.

People should count themselves lucky they're not locked in a room with one or both of us.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:58, archived)
Indeed.
I'd have to watch your fitful, shameful rutting at close quarters.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
Steady on.
Neither of us are the other one's type, for a start. I'm not thin and he's not a cro magnon.

You're more likely to have to put up with him making me upset and me threatening to hit him.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
OK then.
fitful, shameful rutting playground flirting
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
donkey gums, myself and yourself are in a band
it was decided when you weren't around... we're a boy band with no discernable skills other than stubble and toplessness.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
Is excessive pointing and shouting involved?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
from both us and the fans

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
TO THE CONVERTIBLE TOURBUS!

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
*TOPLESS MODE ENABLED*

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
I know that Cock Tuesday is a shit, irritating non-meme
I know, I know, I fucking invented it.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
I thought Jobe invented it

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
Why are you apologising to me?

(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

could you give your sorry-ness a percentage value in terms of the totality of all your feelings, at this moment in time?
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
It's OK
You can't help the way you look
(I helped save b3ta! SuperMatt, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
Dude, you should totally top yourself

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
I can't believe you actually told someone to fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
I accept your apology and gleefully await my compensation payment.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:58, archived)
You? Gleeful?
HA!
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
I don't think sorry is enough.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
I hope you feel terrible

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
Fuck off

(Frogb3at, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:59, archived)
For some reason I've looked at your profile before
it's probably because of that stupid picture you've got in there.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:03, archived)
As i said.....

(Frogb3at, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
haha sensationalism, great.
top draw.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
I don't know what happened.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
The internet got a bad name.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
Was it 'Clarence'?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

But that's a fantastic name
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:05, archived)
I don't accept your apology.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:01, archived)
you'll have to deal with the manufacturer, he can't take it back directly

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
I want to speak to his supervisor

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
Does
anybody know the name of the search engine that lets you search for comparable or source images?
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)
google

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
askjeeves

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
altavista

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
yahoo

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
I heard you put rocks inside your ass so that when you force little boys to bum you
it hurts their dick and makes them cry
more.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
Why don't you stick your search engine up your arse
whilst fucking off.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
Nice.
Thanks for the help "freinds".

Fucking hell, B3TA used to be a nice place to hang out, now it's just populated by cunts. No wonder the Internet is getting a bad name.
.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
Talk've always been cunts, though.
Don't get upset, I told them all yesterday. Shower of bastards. They didn't care. Rotters.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:41, archived)
No, this is different.
We're all cunts in a B3TA sense but why do we need aggression. It just doen't help.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
It's not different, I had a stampy fit yesterday too.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:49, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:50, archived)
I did, proper whiner.
YO SHOES.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
Sup Wowzers

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
They're sooooo agwessive!
SQUEEEEEEEE!
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
Wormulus tells you to fuck off so suddenly the whole site is full of cunts, even though some tried to help?
WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:42, archived)
"WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE"
No, I've seen many aggressive unprovoked attacks on people that are supposed to be "Our Sort Of People" on this site. It wasn't like this at one time.

Why is it OK for Wormulus to tell me to Fuck Off anyway? Why can't we be nice to each other? Why is it "cool" to be aggressive?
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:45, archived)
But THAT'S how he gets all the chicks.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:46, archived)
I think it's because he's a 1940s PI but meh.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
a what?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
private investigator.
Either that or he's a fifties doctor.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
what the fuck are you on about?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
Sod you then.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
This summarises my feelings.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
And you.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
no no
it's his Lost World duvet cover.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
and his Chucklevision lunchbox.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
Your mum is shit in bed.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
because he's autism

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
Ignore him.
He's one of the local irritants.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:49, archived)
^ & that

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:53, archived)
What's the point in getting so worked up about it?
It's pixels on a screen, and there's even a button that makes it so you can't see it anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:51, archived)
Just tell him to fuck off back and don't get upset about it.
/mum advice.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:54, archived)
"our sort of people"
Oh dear.

Oh dear, oh dear!
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
What's wrong with that then?
Do you not associate yourself with much of what happens on B3TA? Is this not why we have online communities?

I come here because I like what I see and I (generally) like what people say and do. I love and am inspired by the art and the sense of humour suits me very well.

Yes, these are generally "My Sort Of People". The sort of people that I like to drink beer with until I throw up knowing that they are on the same wavelength as me.

What's wrong with that?
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:02, archived)
STFU noob.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:13, archived)
Ahem...
I think you meant n00b.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:21, archived)
It's just a website dear.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:13, archived)
Yes yes, I know *sighs*
I just wish that things didn't have to be so aggressive. It really makes me despondant some times.

I wouldn't walk into a shop and tell another customer to fuck of thinking that it was just a shop so it doesn't matter :,(

Maybe I just put too much faith in humanity.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:27, archived)
You know it's just a website yet you allow yourself to get this worked up?
Plus I think wormulus was talking to himself as usual (nobody else will), not you so it was all over nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:40, archived)
hahahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:45, archived)
Internet:
Serious Business.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:46, archived)
''Are you on that there internet? I've heard some bad things about it....''.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:47, archived)
I HOPE WE'RE STILL FRIENDS :(

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
I am not a cunt
I am a profoundly gentle human being. I am kind to animals, I never take the opportunity to slyly kick the other passengers when I get on a crowded train, I try not to upset people or make them feel bad. It's just that this site, I don't know, it just kind of brings out a side of me that usually MNNNNN I can keep suppressed MGGRRRAARGHHH and well under conGRAAARHFUCKOFFYOUTWATTINGFUCKFACEDTOSSBASTARD, FUCKOFFFUCKOFFFUCKOFFtrol.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:52, archived)
Do you mean
glassco.cx?
(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
Donald Ratzenberger III.

(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
We've just been discussing the outcome to the Baby P case.
One woman in my office said 'He didn't die, did he?'

Do you work with stupid twats? If you don't work, do you know any stupid twats?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:21, archived)
Surely if you don't work with stupid twats, then you ARE the stupid twat.
and then John was a zombie.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:22, archived)
My work just keep using arsewords like, "touching base," "synergy" and "blue sky thinking".

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:23, archived)
I've used "end of play" more than once
kill me.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)
*kills you*
Twenty.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:25, archived)
what about the remaining 3?

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:26, archived)
*tiger uppercuts Street Fighter 2 style*
Twenty-Two
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
*picks teeth off floor*

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
My Boss once actually said
"Joined Up Thinking" when reprimanding a workmate.

What a twat. Still, he devoted his life to RTOL then they redundantified him. Serves him right I say.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
yes quite a few
but less than anywhere else I've ever worked.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:22, archived)
Yes
they're called "the general public"

Also I work with a guy who provides 90% of my workload, by constantly wanting software (usually crap he found on the internet) installing. He's trying to get the management team to make us grant him administrator privilages again - but every PC he's had that had him as administrator has come back wrecked within 6 months
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:23, archived)
She's not here any more, but my old manager was convinced that Nu Labour were a different party to Labour.
She was surprised they let them get away with having such a similar name.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:23, archived)
I used to
he left rather quickly. He got involved in a discussion about the feasibility of God once. Poor lamb never stood a chance.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)
*gives you a dead leg in both legs*
Twenty-One
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:25, archived)
*flails from floor*

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
In my old job there was a right proper God botherer there.
He'd stop the office in the morning and say stuff like 'I hope you all have a great working day. Jesus loves you'.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
Pfft.
I like a good discussion, but when your only point of argument is "But it's in the Bible", the Spangolin-brand Withering Stare 4000 comes into play.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:28, archived)
aw, that's sweet.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)
Nail the fucker to a church door.
That normally sorts out the truly pious from the pretenders.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)
then what do you do with the ones who pass?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
That's nice, though.
At least it wasn't 'Sinners, stop working, for I feel I must tell you about the certain hell that faces fornicating satanists such as yourselves'.

Not that I know anyone like that, or am like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
"Consider the lily" seems to have worked for me so far.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)
*considers*
...now what?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
err... that's it.
your manna from heaven benefits will arrive shortly.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
I wonder what manna tastes like.
Or are you meant to rub it on your skin? I'm never sure.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
you eat it.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manna
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:40, archived)
hee hee
that's one of the oddest Wiki entries I've ever read.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:48, archived)
oh that's pretty tame by my experience.
there's far more bizarre stuff than that if you dig around.

Lilith, the Sethian Priesthood, the Nephilim, the Infancy Gospel of Thomas is particularly good.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:55, archived)
also
www.sacred-texts.com/jud/tmm/tmm05.htm
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)
is this the massively old bit of the Bible?
Shit's crazy, yo.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:00, archived)
that particular text is a post-christian Jewish production, I think.
The story itself may have more ancient origins in the tradition.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)
this is properly ancient:
There's loads of this sort of stuff
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)
I got screamed at in the underground for being a satanist once.
Bless the chap, it was about a month after I'd converted as well. Silly bugger.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
I wish to learn more of the circumstances of this incident.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
Captain walking, obviously quite het up chap shouting, Captain chuckles to herself, gets on the tube.
It was in Marylebone, if that makes you any happier.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
Oh.
I was wondering what it was that may have indicated to him that you were a satanist. And also what you had converted to and how he would have known.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:41, archived)
He wouldn't have done
it just tickled me that a month after I converted to Christianity some mental inthe tube accuses me of being a Satanist.

I was dressed a bit gothy, I assumed it was that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:42, archived)
Time to up the fornicating!

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)
I do so love calling my colleagues heathens.
Only for japes, like.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
*points at internet*

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)
I work with a woman who seems to talk about herself constantly

(likeajackhammer, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)
The 811 Bradford to Skipton has about 400 of them on it
Some of the blokes I work with are borderline psychotic ex army types, one of those is a self confessed racist magistrate.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
Racist Magistrate would be an ace band name

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
He thinks it's fine as magistrates are meant to cover all sections of society
Some of whom are racist.

His first self financed EP will be called "Hanging's too good for the Paki with a parking fine"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

or a good name for a remote village
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
Our customers tend to be more twattish than the people I work with.
Case in point about our software; customer rings, says a job isn't appearing on the 'not completed jobs' report and she's furious the software isn't working right. This is because the job was completed earlier today. I tell her this and she whinges that it was appearing yesterday in the report. When it was not completed.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)
mrnnnngggg

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:28, archived)
I enjoy the parts of my job where you point out their error (politely and professionally, of course) and you can hear the wind being knocked from their sails.
You can almost hear the synapses fire as they desperately try to justify their complaint even though the logic is misfiring in their brains. They audibly splutter because they don't know what to say, but they've fired themselves up for an argument so they have to say something.
(I helped save b3ta! FoldsFive, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
I know what you mean.
I don't get how it's so hard to admit your own mistakes - I fuck up all the bloody time, you just apologise, say "oh silly me" then get on with it.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
Punters are ace
EDit/ 207.44.242.20/talk/6167599
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:28, archived)
In her defence, the idea that a child so obviously abused could have been let down so badly is implausable

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
When the story broke I had to read the article a couple of times to get my head around it.
Aren't we going to see sentencing soon in the trial?
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)
it's been done,
life for the bloke super no parole life for the mother.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)
actually I've now actually read the article
she must serve at least 5 years but there she's got an indefinate sentance so she'll stay in until "deemed no longer to be a risk to the public and in particular to small children".
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)
I heard that the Judge at the Old Bailey passed sentence whilst driving past in a Honda Accord.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:37, archived)
No.
Not in her defence. She's a fucking idiot. After all the months of news and reporting on the death of that child, she didn't know if he'd actually died or not.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:32, archived)
I'm sure there are news stories that you are ignorant of as well.

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
There might well be
but not one as highly publicised as this one. Cop on, Seb. Don't just argue for arguments sake.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:38, archived)
I either study with stupid twats or I am the stupid twat.
I just came out of an exam thinking I'd aced it when everyone else said they found it really hard. Hmmmm. Am I super clever or stuper stupid?
(I helped save b3ta! LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)
I used to get this a lot.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)
Today there is a job advertised entitled, simply, "Chair".
What's the oddest job title you've ever encountered?
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
We have a 'Fun Manager' here
She organises company parties and picnics, and the handouts of free t-shirts and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
Sounds horrible.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
It's not much fun

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:44, archived)
Does she walk around dressed as a clown
with the expression of someone who's just smelled dogshit on their shoe 10 seconds after closing thier car door ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
Her uniform is exactly like Colin's from the Fast Show
She's the most depressed looking person I have ever seen.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
Douse her in lighter fluid
and burn her to the fucking ground.

It's teh only way.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
As her skin sloughs off her face and her eyes boil away
A final tear rolls down the charred remnants of her cheek and she whispers 'thank you' before collapsing into a pile of bones and dust.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

at least she'll have finally achieved what is presumably the key objective of her role, as it will be fun to watch
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
I hope your company only employs 6 people

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
Short for Chairman?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:43, archived)
I don't think they discriminate on the grounds of height.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
I read an article once
that said that a person's height has more correlation with their success than does their sex.
It just so happens most women are shorter.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
wait though
what about the Napoleon-complex overcompensators?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
it's a statistical average,
not a law of nature. there are always exceptions to these things.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
*waits until you full asleep and guffs right on your face*
Fifteen
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
*awakes, snorting*
bastard.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
You'd be ace at sweeping chimbleys though
and defusing bombs with your tiny little hands.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
makes your cock look huge, too.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
*Invites you out to a really posh resturant to apologise for my behaviour. Then doesn't turn up.*
Sixteen.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
*eats pies anyway*

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
unless you actually want to be a corporate executive,
I wouldn't worry about it too much. I certainly don't.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
nah
sounds like a lot of stress.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
Are you kidding,
they just pretend it is so they get paid more.
They do less work than most.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
I also hate wearing suits.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
*puts a wasp inside your ear*
Eighteen.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:58, archived)
*runs in circles*
owowowowow
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
*straps you into a chair, pins open your eyes, and forces you to watch the Nicholas Cage remake of The Wicker Man*
Nineteen.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:09, archived)
nooooooooooooooooooo

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:17, archived)
*trips you down the stairs - with glass bottle laying around everywhere - and an angry dog*
Seventeen.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:53, archived)
*kicks a football square into your stomach*
Fourteen.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
oof

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
You could always fall back to Lucha Libre

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
presumably,
but you'd usually also expect to see some indication of what it is the chairman of.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
Chairman is no longer PC
as some companies have female Chairs
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
yeah but it's not "man" as in "man", is it?
it's pronounced "m'n", and dates back to when "man" referred to both sexes anyway. It's all a load of bollocks if you ask me.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
They ought to change it to "Cunt in charge"

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
Tell that to the upity feminists

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, archived)
I do,
whenever I get the chance. What passes for feminism these days is an idiotic travesty.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:55, archived)
I have a mate called Pete Chapman
In the eighties he was a performance poet, called himself Peter Person-Person. True story.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:56, archived)
Chairperson

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
Unlikely
the small print reads "Previous experience as a beanbag ideal but not essential"
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:50, archived)
must have a polished presentation

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

presentation glans
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:52, archived)
Sainsburys have "Fire saftey Heroes"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:45, archived)
In the US, a company called Best Buy doesn't have a tech support department, it has a 'Geek Squad'

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:47, archived)
Adopt a Granny Manager
at Age Concern
(I helped save b3ta! Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

Adopt Cunnilingue
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:49, archived)
I was bothered by someone wanting me to Adopt a Granny
It was an odd conversation
(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:10, archived)
Dogfister general to the Peoples Republic of Cameroon

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:48, archived)
JMG

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:07, archived)
Accounts Pterosaur.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:08, archived)
My dad had an awesome job title - "Crack Detector"
the job itself was less than awesome though - checking steel forgings for flaws
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)
Noob's query
OK. I've been hanging around for a month or two and I follow most of what is said & done here, but there are two things that are neither in the dictionary nor obvious to me what they stand for:

FWAPS - something to do with frenetic wnaking? What is the APS?

B& - Seems to be a "FAIL" type response to a crap post. But what does it mean?

Any de-RISing appreciated.
(I helped save b3ta! Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
more like Noob's queer AM I RIGHT

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:03, archived)
Sorry
Don't know Noob that well, so his sexuality is unknown to me.
(I helped save b3ta! Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
more like "Don't know Noob that well because I SUCK COCKS" am i right?

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
Banned. Fwap is a wanking sound, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
Fwaps is an onamatapaeic word for wanking.
Never heard of B&. "Band" maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
aww.
fwapping is just wanking. *fwaps* is someone doing it at something.
I can't help with B& - must be a /board thing.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
*stomps on your foot whilst wearing golf shoes*
Five.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
owwww
*glares*
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
*thumps your arm with a cricket bat*
Seven.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:15, archived)
happy b3taday.
why aren't you outside playing on yer bike?
(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 22 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
thanks :)
I'm at work :(
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
the dwarf not avilable for the happy finishes today?

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
that is so utterly rubbish.

(I helped save b3ta! Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 22 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
I know.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:18, archived)
*stabs your hands with a compass*
Ten.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:25, archived)
*gives you a chinese burn*
Eight.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:16, archived)
I hate you, Edd.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:17, archived)
*drops a brick from onto your head*
Eleven.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:26, archived)
I feel a little dizzy now.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:42, archived)
*encourages a whole herd of elephants to stampede over a frying pan - then whops you in the face with it*
Thirteen.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:51, archived)
fwaps fwaps fwaps
tis the noise it sounds like

as for the B?

fucknose.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
i wouldn't worry it's all shit copied from 4chan
b3ta stopped be origional years ago
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:05, archived)
well your spelling is original at least

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
i'm the origonal gangsta

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:09, archived)
+ smashing?

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
FWAP = Furiously wanking across porn
Never heard of B&
(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
bampersand
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bampersand
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
I approve of this reading

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
yeah, I was consciously trying to read it wrong
googled it and, as per usual, I'm not the first
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
learn something new everyday.

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:07, archived)
Thanks all.
I shall sleep easier tonight for knowing this.
(I helped save b3ta! Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:08, archived)
I just handed in my penultimate essay.
It's nearing the end of my three year course.

What's the near the end of YOUR? That was a shit question. I'm shit.
(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:00, archived)
The first quarter of my life.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:01, archived)
my 25th year
it's my birthday on sunday,
BIRTHDAY
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:01, archived)
I'm on the very cusp of reality.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:01, archived)
What's the view like?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:02, archived)
murky
but it appears to be turtles all the way down
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:02, archived)
does this mean b3ta will get another load of students banging on and on about their fucking homework that nobody else cares about and probably hopes they fail because they have made the site dull?
i fucking hope not, piss off
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:04, archived)
I'm now near the end of my two and a half year course.
The essay I'm on now will finish the taught bit, then I have to do an 8,000 word management report for December hand-in.

Otherwise, my life.
/old blog.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 11:06, archived)
ummm
what did the five fingers say to the face?
(I helped save b3ta! awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:25, archived)
ARGH! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE THUMB AND WHO IS THIS EXTRA FINGER?
THIS IS NOT RIGHT! THIS IS NOT RIGHT AT ALL!
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:26, archived)
I don't know, I don't understand sign language
Why do you have to discriminate?
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:27, archived)
hello mr punch

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:27, archived)
cold
blooded
(I helped save b3ta! awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:28, archived)
too right
take no prisoners.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:29, archived)
"Well hello big boy!"
/friz's
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:28, archived)
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:59, archived)
I don't nose

(I helped save b3ta! Gooch Is neither here nor there, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:29, archived)
HAHA I'VE GOT YOUR NOSE

(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:29, archived)
you
fucking nose it, clart
(I helped save b3ta! awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:32, archived)
*sigh*
slap.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:32, archived)
*pings a paper clip at your ear from a home-made catapult*
Three.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:33, archived)
Ow!
That almost got my eye, you know.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:34, archived)
*pings a paper clip at your eye from a home-made catapult*
Four.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:35, archived)
Miiiiiiiss
Ed's bullying me.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:36, archived)
Behave yourself edd or I'll use you as an egg cosy
and WOE BEFUCKINGTIDE you break one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:37, archived)
you win

(I helped save b3ta! awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:43, archived)
I don't know.
Did it punch yours repeatedly?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:33, archived)
Violent hand
It makes him do evil things :(
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:38, archived)
We've got something to tell you.
Late last night, whilst you were asleep, you moved and scratched yourself in the cheek. Because you hadn't washed us since you went for a poo, faecal matter got into the scratch and now you have face death.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:34, archived)
Working at McDonalds blog?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:37, archived)
*shrugs* I've never worked in retail or food places, so not me, sir.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:38, archived)
I've regularly gone to work on their menus.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:39, archived)
That's why their signs are always filthy then :(

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:40, archived)
You wank on Macdonalds menus?
But.... aren't they attached to the wall?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:41, archived)
Sometimes kids stand in the way too.

(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:42, archived)
Said he excitedly.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:44, archived)
At eye level......?

(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:42, archived)
I'm half disgusted, half impressed.
Good morning, Mrs HB.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:44, archived)
Morning!
I'll be on here a bit today, I have a day off and my last essay to finish so I'll be procrastinating. We have hand-in on Tuesday and it's straight off to the cocktail bar. All good with you I hope?
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:46, archived)
Yes, as it happens
it's Friday, pay day, and the day before a long weekend, so I'm a happy camper.

Speaking of Hood Butters, or to as the case may be, can I ask where your studios are? I was talking to my fellow minstrels last night about recording.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:49, archived)
Near Ely in Cambridgeshire
Straight up the M11, A14, A10, by train from Kings X or Liverpol Street. If you want to come up first and have a chat and a look round, gaz either me or CHB.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:52, archived)
Don't do it, it's a trap!
The HBs capture young musicians in their prime and milk them for precious talent-juice, which they then sell on the black market.

You emerge blinking in the sunlight, thirty years later. Naught but a withered husk.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:54, archived)
Curses!
Foiled again.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:55, archived)
Fantastic, thanks ever so much, lady.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:58, archived)
I'll gaz you.

(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 22 May 2009, 11:00, archived)
Brilliant people. Hooray for HBs.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:13, archived)
I'm about to go play 5 a side football,
and I was only checking to see if there was any good forum banter on b3ta at the moment.

There isn't

You shitmos.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 May 2009, 10:36, archived)
Mongy's meds have worn off.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:37, archived)
did
you really expect much else?
(I helped save b3ta! awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:45, archived)
he's just upset because we're not talking about breakfast
i didn't realise there was a 5-a-side patch for WoW
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:55, archived)
fuck off you spastic

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:43, archived)
hehe
this is more like it, forum banter, great
(Goatse not a comedy account, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:46, archived)
smell that cheese

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:58, archived)
I hate Hazel Blears
newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45807000/jpg/_45807957_blears_pa226b.jpg

who do you hate, preferably with photo's of their terrible terrible faces.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
I want to push her face into a grinder.

(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:53, archived)
Hasn't someone already done that?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:53, archived)
probably
seems unfair I don't get a go.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
Good morning shoes.
How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:11, archived)
I want someone to say "oh shut the fuck up"
next time she speaks in the commons, possibly brown or the speaker.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
This
Her and Margaret Beckett.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:08, archived)
Margarett Beckett looks like an ugly old man.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:11, archived)
She has no chin
Apart from the fact that she is a knob, how can you trust someone with no chin?!
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:12, archived)
Oh I don't know
Zach Braff's alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:14, archived)
Can someone with 2 chins can have double the trust?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:15, archived)
No, one chin and above gets the same amount of trust
Unless the question is who ate the cake.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:16, archived)
She's still alive, she still counts


img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/Palinbig.jpg


See also:

img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/queenofevil.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
Would

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
Which?

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
I was talking about you.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
Aww, Chomps.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
ha ha
how did I get away with an "aww" from saying "would" in the general direction of a girl.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
It's better than wouldn't.
Take what I can get, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
Do you even know what she looks like?
Or is the fact that she's female enough?
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:24, archived)
and Capt'n, before you go off on one...
I wasn't implying you are ugly.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:25, archived)
We're facebook friends and everything.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/4838336
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
I've met her
she seemed ok.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:55, archived)
She told someone I despair of to shut up
that's all I feel about her. Mary Anne Hobbs can fuck right off.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
Also
these cunts
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
fucking vernon,
fucking Kay
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:15, archived)
They are not just cunts
the are complete and total deep 70`s style cunts who you want to see die in the most sickening manner possible.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:16, archived)
what up, red.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:11, archived)
I HATE THIS FAT FACED CUNT
www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD4LoH42U3U
(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
Is that a youtube link to one of your videos?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
LOL YEAH
I haven't been here for a week. I deserve SOME fucking attention.
(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
it' was your own fault though wasn't it?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
I really, really, REALLY despise musicals.
You've just ruined my day.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
Lalalalalalala INTO THE WOODS AND OUT OF THE WORDS AND HOME BEFORE COCK

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
:(

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:04, archived)
Would you prefer to be home after cock?

(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
I'm all confused now

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:17, archived)
I don't hate anyone.
Derision is easier.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:54, archived)
Morning chuckles.
How are the scum of the rail network treating you?
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:12, archived)
Not bad when I ignore them
I had some mental old bag kick off yesterday when she wanted to pay using an unsigned credit card. My fault apparently, and I would have to kick her off at the next stop if that was my attitude, she said. Fair enough. She found some cash and then demanded my name, so I gave her a little advice on the relevance of my name to her attempt at a fraudulent transaction and she went mental.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:21, archived)
I've told you this before, but I could never do your job.
The general public are idiots and/or dicks.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:23, archived)
I'm a fucking idiot.
I've done 57 hours overtime this month voluntarily. Ironically, all the agro I've had has been on my rostered jobs, mainly because when I am working a rest day I barely show my face.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:26, archived)
think of the cash.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:28, archived)
I know, but it's no consolation when the alarm goes off at 430
Still, we're having a couple of jolly trips to That London and lovely Edinburgh out of it. And a new oven. I know how to rock.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:31, archived)
This twat
blog.peta.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/morrissey.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:56, archived)
I like him
disagree with nearly everything he says but I like his voice.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:57, archived)
I think Tony Christie should release an album of Morrissey covers, with the voice.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
Although I feel bad for calling him a twat now
Sorry Morrissey, don't hit me
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
I *heart* him

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:00, archived)
But he's so depressing
I bet he never sits down and has a chuckle at the Two Ronnies
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
You can tell he's got a sense of humour from some of his lyrics.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:02, archived)
Oh Theoban,
you make me weep for Morrissey :( He will never know the true happiness that you can get from a KFC zinger meal :(
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:03, archived)
He'll never understand the joy of spending the next day on the toilet after horsing a bucket of KFC hot wings

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:25, archived)
Depressing?
ever one of his songs gives me the giggles, you cannot take any of his songs seriously.

dancing with a fucking flower for fuck sake.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:17, archived)
Well I've never really paid attention to his lyrics
Or his songs

But he sounds unhappy. DON'T SHOUT AT ME
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:21, archived)
not shouting
demeaning to his dancing with a flower.

why is he dancing with a fucking flower!
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:27, archived)
STOP SHOUTING AT ME
I'm going to the toilet for a cry now
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:28, archived)
if you are affected by any of these issues
please call this number

0898 MANUP
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:30, archived)
:'(

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:35, archived)
I like his music
but his chat and banter is stupid.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
Steven Gerrard.
He's a footballer. I hate his stupid face. I can't bring myself to post a photo of him 'casue he angers me so.
(I helped save b3ta! Jobe, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:58, archived)
he has a very annoying voice as well

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:59, archived)
I have nothing but love for the world.

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:03, archived)
Hello young lady
how is Friday finding you?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:04, archived)
it's my burfday
so all good :) how are you?
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:05, archived)
WOW! Really?!
Happy birthday!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:06, archived)
thank youuuu
:)
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
BIRTHDAY JOY!
*huggles*
(I helped save b3ta! DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:12, archived)
cheers big ears :)
x
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:14, archived)
Yey for birthdays
*gives cake*
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
thank you!
there WILL be cake, later.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:14, archived)
Good good
Birthdays without cake are sadtimes.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:15, archived)
happy 10th birthday

(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:20, archived)
thanks old man
x
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:24, archived)
YOGHURT KNITTING DO GOODING HIPPIE

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:04, archived)
PEACE AND LOVE

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:05, archived)
I have nothing but love for you.
*bats eyelashes*
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:06, archived)
INTERNET REJECTION
:(
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:10, archived)
Deserved

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:11, archived)
I have nothing but love for you.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
Yo yo Double R.
How's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:16, archived)
I have a new xbox 360
I have a bank holiday weekend
I have a very busy fiancée

DEAD BOSS.


I also need a poo, but that's by the by really.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:18, archived)
Your fiancee has been busy killing your boss?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:19, archived)
I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM THE TOILET.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:21, archived)
is it cos I was born in the 80's?
x
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
It's just my way of telling you I haven't bought you a present.
;)
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:16, archived)
*kicks you in the shins*
Consider that one of your birthday beats.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:09, archived)
Respond to everyone but me?
Right, that's it. You're getting the remaining 22 beatings before today is through!
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:18, archived)
I have nothing but love for you.
And a crude drawing of a zebra on a Nando's napkin.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

*takes napkin*
*blows nose (once of those really bubbly snotty ones)*
*gives napkin back*

Cheers
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:25, archived)
ZEBASTIAN, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:26, archived)
I'm sorry Ed
I went away. You can beat me up as much as you like to make up for it! *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:24, archived)
*whacks you on the knees with a wooden spoon*
Two.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:25, archived)
Ow.
I deserve it.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:29, archived)
Happy birthday
btw, (is it today or tomorrow?)
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:10, archived)
fanks
it is today :)
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:13, archived)
YAY BIRTHDAY SPANGLES

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:12, archived)
*spins you around*
yeee
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:14, archived)
you / your mum

(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:07, archived)
Currently, Anthony Steen and Nadine Dorries
STEEN
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:26, archived)
every mother fucking last one of you

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:29, archived)
That harridan Ingrid Cunting Newkirk
From PETA.

In fact, the WHOLE of PETA. I will end them.

Who's with me!??!????!??!?!??!
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:35, archived)
They're the nutjob side of pressure groups.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:39, archived)
Yesterday I got stopped by the business end of an AK47 & searched by a soldier.
He found my knife but was after guns. Later on I got sunburn.

Did anyone get sunburn yesterday?
(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:53, archived)
it was pissing it down here

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:54, archived)
Lucky thing.
It hasn't rained here for about 6 weeks.
(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:00, archived)
I think we're sending it your way as we havent had sunshine in that long
We're meant to have a scorcher of a weekend though.
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:00, archived)
BBC says no
Friday: light showers, max temp 13c
Saturday: cloudy, max temp 13c
Sunday: sunny, max temp 14c. Well, woohoo!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:07, archived)
20'C for monday though

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:09, archived)
It won't be at 5 in the morning when I'm at work
Edit/ and how long has Monday been weekend?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:11, archived)
Bank holiday
it counts
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)
Fucks sake, not again
You lazy cunts make me puke.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:31, archived)
yeah and people who work in the railway industry
are notoriously dilligent.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:33, archived)
We have to be when we've got 300 gormless spastics who want their arses wiping for them.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:36, archived)
Why did nobody tell me you do that?
I've been missing a trick, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:37, archived)
Theses are trying times

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
Bank Holiday
It automatically becomes a weekend day, if it were to be counted as a weekday then the fabric of the space-time continuum would come unravelled or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)
No, but it was beautiful
It's even more beautiful today but I'm back at work, tarnation.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:56, archived)
I did not, although I may do on Monday with the band photoshoot.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:01, archived)
I fail to see
how it can top this band photo.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
An even number of tits, perhaps.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
Good response.
And I'm not just saying that because you're a girl and mentioned the word tits.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:08, archived)
Thank you very much.
I'm going to be even less funny for the rest of the day. Brace yourselves.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:09, archived)
you're meant to just click posts where girls mention tits
not reply to them
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:13, archived)
SHUT UP
I like it when people talk to me.

Actually, don't shut up. Talk. This is very much the time and place.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:14, archived)
but he's doing the interntet wrong

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:16, archived)
Wrong can be good.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:17, archived)
not on the internet,
it's very clear cut.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:20, archived)
The internet is full of wrong is good.
PORN for example. Well, niche.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:22, archived)
Porn is very right.
Unless it's weird stuff like girls kissing each other. Bleugh!
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
Or the ones with music

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:44, archived)
Or the ones with actual intercourse

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:47, archived)
I prefer the porn where they just talk about the weather
And possibly lunch
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:49, archived)
via an internet forum

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:50, archived)
I have to limit myself on here otherwise I spooge manglue too much

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
This calls for high-class British porn from Family Guy.
"You know Margaret, we could be having sexual intercourse right now."
"Yes, yes we could."
"Yes, but let's not."
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:51, archived)
I think the rule is to reply to any post made by a confirmed female
That way they may have some online sex with you, or something.

I'm not sure about all the rules.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:15, archived)
What are you wearing?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:16, archived)
Anything you want, baby
FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR AN HOUR
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:17, archived)
*checks bank balance*
:(
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:21, archived)
It's pay day.
I'll buy you five minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:23, archived)
That'll be 41.67 please
Pleasure doing business with you.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:24, archived)
A bargain.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:25, archived)
It's my birthday on Sunday
you could buy me an awesome present.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:25, archived)
What do you want?
You want a pint, don't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)
Actually a decent costume idea that begins with R
and doesn't make me look very stupid and is easy to make would be a great early present
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:28, archived)
Racist.
Dress up as Alf Garnett.

I'd go as Raping Ron if I were you. All you need is a string vest, a big stick and a leer.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:30, archived)
My younger cousins are going to be there
and I refuse to accept they will find that funny
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
Christ.
Ryan Giggs? Afro wig and a football strip?

Rambo. Sod it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
Thank you for your ideas
I'll keep them in mind, but it'll boil down to what bits and pieces I can find to buy at the weekend.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:37, archived)
Good luck, poppet.
OH ACTUALLY get a bin, cut a hole in it for your head and go as Rubbish.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:38, archived)
Ronald Reagan
Put on a suit and act like a jabbering mental patient
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:39, archived)
Rowdy Roddy Piper
Ronald Reagan
A Robot
The colour 'Red'
A Radish
Robert Winston
Randall from Randall and Hopkirk, Deceased
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:37, archived)
I suppose you think posting photos of used toilet paper is big and clever don't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:06, archived)
I do hope you will be following band photoshoot procedure
by having it taken in front of a wall (possibly by disused railway tracks) with one band member looking away from the camera.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
Up a hill is where we're going.
This hill:

images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&um=1&sa=1&q=coombe+hill+buckinghamshire&aq=f&oq=

I'm not looking away, I've got a big nose. Face on for me, I feel.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:06, archived)
will you be incorporating the monument?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:09, archived)
It's an inevitability.
There's lots of different spots up there though, some woody bits, some bushy bits, so we've got some scope.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:10, archived)
Or jumping in the air so people think
"Fuck! They're so rock, they're just jumping in the air with energy. The power of music has granted them levitation abilities. We can only be humbled by this sight."
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:10, archived)
'How does being masturbated over by 13 year olds make you feel?'
Yeah, as expected. Not funny in the slightest.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:11, archived)
HAWT

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:19, archived)
If you were a member of Busted that would please me greatly.
Three CBBC presenters and Bernard Black.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:21, archived)
My uncle manages McFly
I hope this hot info helps.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:23, archived)
I prefer them to Busted.
My uncle doesn't manage anything except decomposition, and even then we're not sure how good at it he is.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:24, archived)
I know
he's never turned up for a review meeting.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)
Are you the Zombie King?
I would offer to photoshop this (I make people into zombies) but you'll say no.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:27, archived)
You make people into zombies?
*backs away*
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:40, archived)
You're always backing away from me. I'm not going to bum you.
Yes, photoshoppery style. I'm not overly shit at it.

img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/fffff.jpg
img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/thomwithpersonality.jpg
img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/Palinbig.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:41, archived)
if you can do something with that photo in my profile please do,
I used be good at the potatochoppery.

*pimps 30 FPs*
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:43, archived)
I've never got one, I'm not funny with it.
The photo's a bit small. I'll have a bash over the weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:44, archived)
You should change your name to monkeon
Even unfunny stuff gets FPed then
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:46, archived)
*handbag*
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:47, archived)
Some of his stuff is good I won't deny that
And it's not like I come up with anything better :P
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:48, archived)
Monkeon is without doubt one of the funniest posters on b3ta
and he's been churning it out for years.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:01, archived)
I don't see him about as much any more.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 10:04, archived)
'sup Captain
How are you today?

Have I missed anything in the last 3 days?
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:21, archived)
Dunno, I've only been back for one
I was off being well ill.

I'm alright. SHATTERED and now with less PMT, so I won't flounce today, hopefully. You?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:23, archived)
Dizzy and tired but back at work *grumble*
I have also been off sick but at least it's pretty much over before the weekend :D
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)
Exactly!

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:28, archived)
I fucking hate genuine illness
I've spent the best part of the last 2 1/2 days semi-conscious with TNG Season 6 in the DVD player. I feel like I haven't slept since last weekend :(
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:31, archived)
At least you had TNG on though.

(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:32, archived)
I was asleep through most of it :'(
I did see Jumper for the first time though, it almost put me to sleep, talk about a non-story. The concept could have made an amazing film...
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
No as I was outside for about 15 minutes
And then it was all rainy when I came home from work.

Where the hell do you live?
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
Shit, i didn't realise my external HDD was FAT32 and not NTFS
That's the day ruined.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 22 May 2009, 9:05, archived)
oh noes
just format it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:12, archived)
Marib at it's best

(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:06, archived)
Yep, great days especially as the pool is shut because someone died in it last week.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:15, archived)
Marib Hotel?

(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:17, archived)
nah, the one on site

(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:25, archived)
Which concession are you on?

(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:29, archived)
now moving onto 10a

(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:36, archived)
Lovely
Deep in the heart of Dixie. Find any good fossils or arrowheads yet
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:42, archived)
Dixie - like it!
Got a small collection of ancient stuff. Now I need to find someone who can give me the history of the items.
(pissflaps. FSPW, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:48, archived)
did they find the droids they were looking for?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:13, archived)
Knowing where he is working
And probably which checkpoint he was going through as well it is more likely the soldier was out of his tree on Qat and droids were in fact the furthest thing from the dull cunts mind.
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:16, archived)
or because he was out of his mind on Qat
everyone looked like an extra from Star Wars.
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:20, archived)
I have to admit
That the area in Yemen in question is most definitely a ringer for Tatooine. Old Marib, which pissflaps can probably see from his hotel is a multi story mud built town which George Lucas probably missed as an option for the first Star Wars because there was a war going on at the time.
Edit: Wrong Hotel
(I helped save b3ta! fagilliD Fuck I'm good!, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)
yes. some sun burnt my neck. i didnt like it

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:26, archived)
great times

(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:32, archived)
well i had fun yes, nice day out

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:35, archived)
pfft

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:34, archived)
Not me.
The people are outdoors. Why would I go out there?
(I helped save b3ta! postal ninja has Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:44, archived)
You know who I miss?
Friz.

I wonder where he is.
(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:44, archived)
Hello new person
Please read the FAQ, cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:44, archived)
HI THEOBAN I'M NOT SO SURE WHO YOU ARE BUT I'M SURE YOU'RE IMPORTANT

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
HI FRIZ IT'S BEEN SO LONG WELCOME BACK

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
Pics of tits please or GTFO

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:45, archived)
That's what got me stepped in the first place

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
I don't
The ocd attention grabbing fuck.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
I hate when he grabs the attention of people with OCD

(__, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
Help! Help! He's got a hold of me OCDs! Oooof! He's twisting them! Aaarg!

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:47, archived)
shouldn't you be glad
he's not twisting your CDC's??
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:49, archived)
Yes because that'll crease the paper.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:50, archived)
Me too.
*washes hands 12 times*
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:47, archived)
*rearranges your cutlery drawer*

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:50, archived)
Ohhh meant to tell you
You can buy that Valarian Tea in tescos
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 9:00, archived)
is what nobody has been saying.

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:51, archived)
I got home from school an hour ago...
and it's already dusk. very pretty though.

what are you lot having for lunch today? I had orange juice and an apple roll.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:21, archived)
It's a bit early to be thinking about lunch.
I'm more concerned with breakfast right now.

EDIT: 'Ning all!
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:23, archived)
well I'm always thinking about food.
I eat nearly continually.
I had yoghurt and muesli for breakfast today - what are you having?
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:25, archived)
Probably toast with peanut butter
and an espresso.

Maybe a banana too.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:26, archived)
nom.
have you ever had peanut butter and honey? it's a strangely compelling combo!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:27, archived)
Yeh it is good!
Although in my mind peanut butter and strawberry jam is the ultimate combo.

Marmite/vegemite and peanut butter is also good.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:29, archived)
yeah good old PB&J
Personally I'm more of a Nutella girl though - love my chocolate spreadables.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:31, archived)
I do like Nutella
Particularly with slaiced up banana in a crepe.

Nutella and peanut butter, worth trying together you reckon?
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:35, archived)
well....
you have snickers bars - and they're chocolate and peanuts...

But somehow I have a bad feeling about mixing nutella and peanut butter.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:39, archived)

peanutella butter
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:51, archived)
I love peanut butter and mashed banana, had it a lot as a kid (but not like Elvis).
Peanut Butter and Nutella too.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:44, archived)
I struggle to eat bananas unless they're
unmashed and not squishy.

I like them firm. the texture gives me trouble swallowing otherwise (fnaaar)
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:45, archived)
Funeral Food LOL

(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:39, archived)
That puts the LOL in FunerLOL

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:39, archived)
You put the
unreal in funeral.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:42, archived)
Sp@mmy, lovely.
Has anyone told you yet today that you look absolutly simply stunning today? Ohh, Lenardo DiCaprio got in their first? Damn.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:46, archived)
Thanks you lovely
I like your new name
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs Sp@m, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:53, archived)
I dunno about lunch, it's still 3 hours off. But it's a Friday so we usually go for a steak or a pizza or something.
Today's eerie, I'm the only person in from my team. The office is deadly silent.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:39, archived)
put on the music really loud then
and wear a silly hat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:41, archived)
Music is now playing
And I'll just have to go with 'wearing silly hair'. I am bereft of hattery.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:43, archived)
oh you poor thing
do you have any newspapers floating about? Make a paper hat and wear it! then you'll not be bereft of hattery.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:44, archived)
Ooh I can make one out of the dartboard and some string

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:45, archived)
brilliant!
But p.o.i.d.h.

seriously.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:47, archived)
poidh?
Is that Welsh?
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 22 May 2009, 8:50, archived)
Pictures
Or It Didn't Happen.

p.o.i.d.h
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 22 May 2009, 8:58, archived)
Morning poo.
Mercifullly sooft with light coffee colour.
Short on odour, but excessive splashback.

6/10
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 22 May 2009, 7:06, archived)
I had a poo an hour or so ago
that I'd been holding in for a while. When it came out, I saw all these little wormy white sparks crawling across my vision, like fireworks celebrating the momentous release.

I've noticed these sparks from time to time when taking a particularly grand or difficult shit. Anyone else have them or know what causes them?
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 22 May 2009, 7:12, archived)
I wonder if this is how Todd thinks
ALL THE TIME.
(MooCow_Byter, Fri 22 May 2009, 7:13, archived)
Morning!

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 6:55, archived)
Good morning squire
I got two double yolked eggs for breakfast! That must be incredibly good luck. Nothing can possibly go wrong today!
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 22 May 2009, 6:57, archived)
This is a clear sign you will be hit by a bus
A pink bus filled to the brim with hot gay men, who will spill out, each impaling you on their AIDS-ridden willies.
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 6:59, archived)
As you can tell, this is quite the situation you've landed yourself in

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 22 May 2009, 6:59, archived)
Swings and roundabouts...
Off to work now. Good day to you all.
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Fri 22 May 2009, 6:59, archived)
How can you be sure?

(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 22 May 2009, 7:06, archived)

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