

Edit: As indeed do I, btw!

it doesnt fucking mean anything, its a recession not a 'credit crunch'.
EDIT: sorry how rude, morning grump mode off. Wttp :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:12,
archived)
EDIT: sorry how rude, morning grump mode off. Wttp :)

It's not that it doesn't mean anything as it's been given meaning. It's just everything has to has it's buzzword to make it sound cool in the media.
It's a recession. It is in no way cool, stop trying to market it!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:13,
archived)
It's a recession. It is in no way cool, stop trying to market it!

what's that? Did I miss the latest buzz phrase memo?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:17,
archived)

you pesky kids and your cool editing skills. *shakes fist*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:20,
archived)

A friend of mine said he doesnt go out much these days because of the credit crunch...he lives with his parents *Face-slap*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:17,
archived)

is too high. No bank will lend another any money, credit dries up and money stops sloshing about the system.
That's the "Credit Crunch". Credit being stopped and you need money to make money. Northern rock wasn’t that fucked; but as soon as there was a run on the bank it all went tits up. This happened around the same time as the CDO crash. If the credit market would open up things would get better sooner. But you'd be stupid to lend to someone who may go tits up at any mo. Cos they need credit :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:26,
archived)
That's the "Credit Crunch". Credit being stopped and you need money to make money. Northern rock wasn’t that fucked; but as soon as there was a run on the bank it all went tits up. This happened around the same time as the CDO crash. If the credit market would open up things would get better sooner. But you'd be stupid to lend to someone who may go tits up at any mo. Cos they need credit :)

But that's no longer the case. Credit Crunch has gone on to mean recession.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:30,
archived)

keep on saying that.
There is no recession.
There is no recession.
There is no recession.
Is it true yet?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:31,
archived)
There is no recession.
There is no recession.
There is no recession.
Is it true yet?

The credit crunch and the recession are two different things, and each one fueled and exacerbated the other.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:46,
archived)

Not an ashtray in sight...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:16,
archived)

The people who lent money to others to buy goods and houses, suddenly stopped lending that money and have spent it themselves (buying gold and oil etc)
Mainly the Chinese and Russian Govts and middle eastern oil states
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:53,
archived)
Mainly the Chinese and Russian Govts and middle eastern oil states

yes, I see them in a lot of papers ;)
nicely, btw :)
There's a nice little discussion going on about it on radio 2 right now
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:13,
archived)
nicely, btw :)
There's a nice little discussion going on about it on radio 2 right now

Within a day of it happening there were laminated A4 printed adverts on the railing by the station offering biochemical gasmasks for £200.
Souless fucktards.
EDIT: Sounds like music to me.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:16,
archived)
Souless fucktards.
EDIT: Sounds like music to me.

It's an excellent business model.
From insurance to bleach, fashion to music.
"Keeping up with the Joneses" was the best phrase for capitalism ever coined.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:20,
archived)
From insurance to bleach, fashion to music.
"Keeping up with the Joneses" was the best phrase for capitalism ever coined.

You know deep down that if you don't go and get those kittens they will be in a tesco bag floating down the nearest river/canal by Sunday evening.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:26,
archived)

That reminds me. What a fucktard. There was a guy in the queue this morning and quite happily accepted a carrier band for his newspaper!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:28,
archived)

I bet he is the sort of person to stuff it behind the nearest bench in the hope that it will magically disappear instead of recycling it properly...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:33,
archived)

and obviously I pup them in the plakky bags they have by the pastries. When I go to check out they always try and get me to put these in carrier bags and I always have to explain that they're already in one.
One woman won't even leave it at that. She tells me that they break and I explain that I've been doing it for years and have never had that problem.
I'm guessing she's basing this on the fact that she once saw a broken one rather than any actual research carried out on the subject.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:37,
archived)
One woman won't even leave it at that. She tells me that they break and I explain that I've been doing it for years and have never had that problem.
I'm guessing she's basing this on the fact that she once saw a broken one rather than any actual research carried out on the subject.

Her thesis would have been "Processing and characterization of polymer based composite carrying devices with superior impact resistance" which would also explain why she is now working in a shop...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:44,
archived)

There you go, lovely.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:20,
archived)

I just love the whole 'Recession? No money? Never mind, go on holiday' thing
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:16,
archived)

Recession? No money? Soddit lets go for a picnic. Coz daisy chains don't cost anything:D *yays*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:19,
archived)

Of course, the pharma industry is actually pretty well insulated against recession.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:45,
archived)

Hahahaha
Innit?
Was listening to it today - ace tune.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:16,
archived)
Innit?
Was listening to it today - ace tune.

plus the pearl jam song is awesome.
i think you should do a strip with several of these
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:06,
archived)
i think you should do a strip with several of these

adn they can also generate the power to run the lights too!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:56,
archived)

They could slowly increase the speed. Anyone who couldn't keep up would fall off the back, preferably into a pit of spikes.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:02,
archived)

That is exactly the first thing I thought of when I saw the pic.
( ,
Tue 28 Apr 2009, 5:46,
archived)

anyway - I agree; the money set aside for the Olympics should be redistributed as international aid.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:02,
archived)

(wikipedia), but you might have been thinking of something else...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 14:04,
archived)

and call him a cunt
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:59,
archived)

that if one of them didn't run fast enough they'd fall off the back
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:02,
archived)

tj: anyone good at PHP? I need a function to generate 5 (say) random unique numbers
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:07,
archived)

$numbers = array();
while (count($numbers) < 5) $numbers[rand()] = count($numbers);
$numbers = array_flip($numbers);
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:28,
archived)
while (count($numbers) < 5) $numbers[rand()] = count($numbers);
$numbers = array_flip($numbers);

(as long as range of my_rand >> 5, and don't even think of using it to generate a big permutation :-)
EDIT: Haaang onn... I don't think that works? What if rand() does return the same result twice: you'll get two entries in $numbers with the same value (of count), and then array_flip will choose the later one, and count($numbers) will now be 4. Surely?
I think you want:
$numbers = array();
while (count($numbers) < 5) $numbers[rand()] = 1;
$numbers = array_keys($numbers);
(But I've never written a line of PHP in my life before, so it's your risk :-) *gazzes Mighty Nibus & benryves*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 14:16,
archived)
EDIT: Haaang onn... I don't think that works? What if rand() does return the same result twice: you'll get two entries in $numbers with the same value (of count), and then array_flip will choose the later one, and count($numbers) will now be 4. Surely?
I think you want:
$numbers = array();
while (count($numbers) < 5) $numbers[rand()] = 1;
$numbers = array_keys($numbers);
(But I've never written a line of PHP in my life before, so it's your risk :-) *gazzes Mighty Nibus & benryves*

you're correct. If using the count() method to set the array value using a random key you'd need to remove the old value first in case of duplicates, which sort of defeats the point of the exercise.
I forgot about array_keys(), your method should work.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 19:08,
archived)
I forgot about array_keys(), your method should work.

Nibus, do you wish to treat the chosen values as an ordered sequence, or as a set? If you treat them a sequence, the code snippet is probably still wrong:
The definition of array_keys (http://uk.php.net/function.array-keys) does not specify the order in which it lists the keys.
It is perfectly legal, and (imho) quite likely, for the implementation to always return the keys in some particular order (for example: in numerical order of their hash-values). This would mean that if the five chosen numbers were (say) 32, 55, 12, 10, 65, then they would ONLY EVER be returned in that order. You would simply never ever see 55, 12, 10, 65, 32. In other words: not very random! They might even be sorted numerically. They might be sorted on some platforms, and not on others. It might change when you upgrade to a new version of PHP. Awoooga! Awooga! Don't go there.
I'll have a go at a new code snippet...
...Here:
Fun this, isn't it!
*gazzes MN and br again*
"The late Roger Needham once remarked that ‘optimisation is the process of
taking something that works and replacing it with something that almost works,
but is cheaper’." ["Optimised to fail: Card readers for online banking"]
( ,
Tue 28 Apr 2009, 11:31,
archived)
The definition of array_keys (http://uk.php.net/function.array-keys) does not specify the order in which it lists the keys.
It is perfectly legal, and (imho) quite likely, for the implementation to always return the keys in some particular order (for example: in numerical order of their hash-values). This would mean that if the five chosen numbers were (say) 32, 55, 12, 10, 65, then they would ONLY EVER be returned in that order. You would simply never ever see 55, 12, 10, 65, 32. In other words: not very random! They might even be sorted numerically. They might be sorted on some platforms, and not on others. It might change when you upgrade to a new version of PHP. Awoooga! Awooga! Don't go there.
I'll have a go at a new code snippet...
...Here:
<?php
$have = array();
$sequence = array();
while (count($sequence) < 5) {
// pick a number
r = rand() % 1000; // (1000, or whatever upper limit)
if (! array_key_exists(r, $have)) {
// it's new, so remember we have it, and add to sequence
$have[r] = 1;
$sequence[count($sequence)] = r;
}
}
// your sequence is now stored in $sequence[0] to $sequence[4]
?>
Fun this, isn't it!
*gazzes MN and br again*
"The late Roger Needham once remarked that ‘optimisation is the process of
taking something that works and replacing it with something that almost works,
but is cheaper’." ["Optimised to fail: Card readers for online banking"]

That said, rand()%$max is generally unwise as it skews the distribution. (rand()/getrandmax())*$max won't skew the distribution. PHP also provides a rand($min, $max) overload - I'm not sure which method that uses, but it's probably easier to use that!
( ,
Tue 28 Apr 2009, 14:13,
archived)

PHP:rand() says: "On some platforms (such as Windows), getrandmax() is only 32768."
WHAT??!!! That's like helpfully including free exploding poisoned razor blades with the programming language you ordered!
"... consider using mt_rand() instead."
It depends what you want the pseudo-randomness for, but if patterning will have a serious bad effect, you might want to use mt_rand() instead. Don't forget to think about how it is seeded, too!
( ,
Tue 28 Apr 2009, 14:33,
archived)
WHAT??!!! That's like helpfully including free exploding poisoned razor blades with the programming language you ordered!
"... consider using mt_rand() instead."
It depends what you want the pseudo-randomness for, but if patterning will have a serious bad effect, you might want to use mt_rand() instead. Don't forget to think about how it is seeded, too!

*cough*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 15:08,
archived)

fit an alternator to the end to help with the energy crisis.
I reckon that's a winner.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 17:36,
archived)
I reckon that's a winner.

they should stop it suddenly, and whoever flys furthest, wins.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 20:57,
archived)

have a big pool of gunge behind aswell
Mr Blooby and Noel Edmunds could present the whole thing.
Ace.
( ,
Tue 28 Apr 2009, 12:46,
archived)
Mr Blooby and Noel Edmunds could present the whole thing.
Ace.

... Oh, Jason Statham.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:37,
archived)

for its ludicrousness if nothing else.
(Corrections to the above will be made and posted below by my team of proof readers).
They are over worked and very unhappy with their lives. :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:54,
archived)
(Corrections to the above will be made and posted below by my team of proof readers).
They are over worked and very unhappy with their lives. :)



as I'm a big fan of the original. But, no. No. Why? No. Just wrong, all wrong.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:43,
archived)

/although Deadwood had an impressive supporting cast
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:47,
archived)

but I found the concept annoyingly disloyal to the original and to the comic. Statham is becoming a symbol of low-budget action movies with poor script and plot, and with three compulsory scenes were he shows his muscles while doing pointless chin-ups.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:49,
archived)


remakes of well known films are seldom any good.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:49,
archived)

If they do a remake of the Man with Two Brains with Russel Brand, then I'm going to do my best to kill the human race off.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:55,
archived)

BEFORE they make any such film that would be good.
Thanks.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:58,
archived)
Thanks.

silly films for when i'm in a silly mood.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:39,
archived)

that american accent he tries to do in teh transporter series is just painful....
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:42,
archived)

the first, aside from stathams crappy accent, was passable, two was stupid and three was just plain appalling.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:38,
archived)


It's no worse than an American actor trying to do a british accent
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:47,
archived)

So there are the odd exceptions that prove the rule.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:52,
archived)

I once saw one of his films, I think it was called "A right old barrel of cockney shananigans". It was shit.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:38,
archived)

cor blimey luv a duck and so on and tediousness
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:39,
archived)

its lightweight, sturdy and folds away when not in use
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:44,
archived)

the bad bits of Eastenders condensed into human form... now remove the subtlety.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:47,
archived)

if a 4 year old was asked to pretend to be a grownup for money. Imagine the exaggerated and uninformed burblings and lack of finesse such a performance would likely entail... now take this image and replace the 4 year old with Danny Dyer and the grownup with "cockney geezer hardman wideboy gangster"
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:53,
archived)

Virgin 1, Wednesday at 22.00hrs:
"Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men".
Edit: Programme synopsis:
Actor Danny Dyer continues his series of interviews with some serious hard men, including gangsters, former terrorists and elite forces specialists.
Here he meets Barrington Patterson, renowned for his merciless approach to cage-fighting and kick-boxing and a man who has been known to seek the occasional street fight with hardcore football hooligans.
The martial arts legend also puts his skills to use by working as a doorman in his home town of Coventry.
Need we say more?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:50,
archived)
"Danny Dyer's Deadliest Men".
Edit: Programme synopsis:
Actor Danny Dyer continues his series of interviews with some serious hard men, including gangsters, former terrorists and elite forces specialists.
Here he meets Barrington Patterson, renowned for his merciless approach to cage-fighting and kick-boxing and a man who has been known to seek the occasional street fight with hardcore football hooligans.
The martial arts legend also puts his skills to use by working as a doorman in his home town of Coventry.
Need we say more?

edit: 'Barrington Patterson' sounds like a cohort of Chuffer Dandridge

Yup, I'd learn cage fighting if that was my name
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:55,
archived)

Which was a very good film, and he did a good job in it. He might also have been in a football hooligan film - Football Factory? If it was him, he was alright. He's never stood out as a bad actor to me. He's certainly not in the Sean Bean school of Overacting.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:43,
archived)

I personally thought Human Traffic was a good film and that he wasn't dreadful in it...
he's also done TV stuff about ... football casuals and things I think. He's a bit of a caricature of himself
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:44,
archived)
he's also done TV stuff about ... football casuals and things I think. He's a bit of a caricature of himself


since i pearoasted this one
*goes back to lurking*

Pelvicachromis pulcher do not live in the sea
Edit: also woo and happy RL candle day to whoever the picture is for
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:29,
archived)
Edit: also woo and happy RL candle day to whoever the picture is for

Apparently.
*this may be a complete and utter lie
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:18,
archived)
*this may be a complete and utter lie

Except lesbians.
And knives.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:46,
archived)
And knives.

Clearly you must get out more, sir ;)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:18,
archived)

at the end of the 5 minute loop
*honest
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:41,
archived)
*honest

/no idea why the 'allo 'allo voice, just seems appropriate
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:20,
archived)

i was thinking of...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Officer_Crabtree
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:25,
archived)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Officer_Crabtree

or something.
edit: SOMEONE APPRECIATE MY SHIT ATTEMPTS AT GERMAN.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:20,
archived)
edit: SOMEONE APPRECIATE MY SHIT ATTEMPTS AT GERMAN.

Absolutely astounding attempt at German there, well done!
Better?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:28,
archived)
Better?

mit eine kleine bustenhalter!
Errr...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:27,
archived)
Errr...

with a little bra?
I might have got luft wrong.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:28,
archived)
I might have got luft wrong.

My German is a hovercraft with a little bra.
Yes, that's right.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:30,
archived)
Yes, that's right.

mais mieux de mon Allemand.
I think.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:34,
archived)
I think.

something something Germany.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:36,
archived)

just go with 'Mikro', everyone will know what you mean.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:28,
archived)

*arches eyebrow suggestively*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:29,
archived)

dosen't really help in matters of language.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:31,
archived)

I'd be chief nun in charge of petrol siphoning.
They have them, right?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:35,
archived)
They have them, right?

and it's neither of our birthdays today.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 12:20,
archived)

/forced to de-lurk due to excessive punning!
please sir - award yourself best punnage reply of the day award so far today
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:23,
archived)
please sir - award yourself best punnage reply of the day award so far today

Annette is a very determined person... also sticky
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:30,
archived)

:D
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:29,
archived)

*puts head in mouth for light hearted picture*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:31,
archived)

There's a good lad.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:33,
archived)

freebs - they're normally a lot more punny than this...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:35,
archived)

not seen that for a long time...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:36,
archived)

Good morning poppet *hug*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:24,
archived)

*hugs*
I have a topside of beef with horseradish sauce sandwich and a double latte here, right now.
All is well with the world.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:26,
archived)
I have a topside of beef with horseradish sauce sandwich and a double latte here, right now.
All is well with the world.

I have an extremely strong cup of machu piccu and a chicken sarnie in my bag.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:27,
archived)

I've been reading some baby stories about "wacky" animals...
They are not wacky in the slightest, though one of them appears to be a sex pest...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:18,
archived)
They are not wacky in the slightest, though one of them appears to be a sex pest...

But the opening line is:
"I'm Wacky Bull. I like looking at cows."
And lo and behold, there he is, hiding in a hedge, looking at a field full of udders.
dorty wee bastard!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:21,
archived)
"I'm Wacky Bull. I like looking at cows."
And lo and behold, there he is, hiding in a hedge, looking at a field full of udders.
dorty wee bastard!

turns out they couldn't spell either ;)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:22,
archived)

I'll do the creative stuff. You copy-edit and proof. I'm on to the next thing now, so you also have to file. I never re-read or check so do try to keep up.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:31,
archived)

response will take 4-6 weeks depending on economic downturn.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:37,
archived)

humor - erm? whers teh hum
ors. This isn't funny. Whats the point?
However, got me an idea to draw out of it. :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:48,
archived)
ors. This isn't funny. Whats the point?
However, got me an idea to draw out of it. :)

there's lots of mileage in this
children's charcters in the real world. Similar to the video games in the real world compo
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:18,
archived)
children's charcters in the real world. Similar to the video games in the real world compo

Woo but why is he walking on the wall and where has ceiling cat gone?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:15,
archived)

There's a woman on the other side of the road having a huge barnie at the top of her voice. I'd feel really sorry for the other person if they existed.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:17,
archived)

Do you post a link or something tomorrow or Wednesday?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:16,
archived)

you put a lot more effort into your than I did into mine... so let me know when you've finished and I'll happily endorse your work by using it.
WOO YAY SIR!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:18,
archived)
WOO YAY SIR!

Hehehe I take it the weather forecast for the interweb is rain with intermissions of rain?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:19,
archived)

In desperate need of bacon and don't want to go and start cooking it cos it's the one thing guaranteed to make him turn up.
How's Wowville?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:05,
archived)
How's Wowville?

as you take a nude photo of yourself for three posts time . . .


( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:09,
archived)



That's not a milestone, that's just a pleasingly round number. 25k's my next one
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:11,
archived)

back to the old telescope through the window then


( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:15,
archived)



That's why us ladyb3tans, with our exquisite breasts, are all fine with it.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:01,
archived)

Silly.
er...
whuu is de gjirl?
Terrible racism there.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:00,
archived)
er...
whuu is de gjirl?
Terrible racism there.

First, I was quoting Madonna lyrics, then Pantera lyrics.
How are you today?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:15,
archived)
How are you today?

or has just stepped on an electrical cable
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:02,
archived)

....*suspects he now knows why no one stands near him at the bar anymore...*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:05,
archived)

You can take the piss out of me, just accuse me of talking like princess Beatrice like everyone else does.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:04,
archived)

You're really not. I'm just a bit...lightheaded.
I will eat a sandwich now and all will restore to normal ;)

you delightful piece of wonderfulness condensed.
*huge hugs*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:08,
archived)
*huge hugs*

Re: boobs. If a girl has them, you have to them. This is no pseudo-porn. Just realism.

or pissed up the wall somewhere.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:00,
archived)

That should be
1) Borrow
2) Borrow
3) Borrow
4) Borrow
5) Profit
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:02,
archived)
1) Borrow
2) Borrow
3) Borrow
4) Borrow
5) Profit

you missed out the bit where it borrowing is spent on the wrong things -- someone should put a banner outside the treasury which reads:
"never waste a perfectly good recession"
as I think I've mentioned before, the South Koreans are getting a high speed rail infrastructure and L.E.D lighting out of their recession... we get ... to keep the bankers in jobs.
*waves very small flag*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:07,
archived)
"never waste a perfectly good recession"
as I think I've mentioned before, the South Koreans are getting a high speed rail infrastructure and L.E.D lighting out of their recession... we get ... to keep the bankers in jobs.
*waves very small flag*

have you paid the necessary tax on that very small flag?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:11,
archived)

should be running the UK economy :D
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:02,
archived)

Probably useless when it comes to fending off evil virus', but it looks cool!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:18,
archived)

I bought my S10 a few years ago with 2 brand new canisters. It cost me something like £20 for the lot and they are selling for much more than that now.
What can I say? It makes part of a good haloween costume ;)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:27,
archived)
What can I say? It makes part of a good haloween costume ;)

I was already naked - preparedness is next to Godliness... also I'm posting from Jail.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:10,
archived)

REAL sad and lonely pervs that aren't getting any don't draw boobs.
They sit in darkened rooms with stacks of faded, stuck together Razzle magazines and bottles of Jack Daniels, crying gently while rocking backwards and forwards, trying to figure out where it all went wrong, and why no-one talks to them anymore. It's not like it used to, with friends and partners, somehow the good times all just evaporated and left this useless shell of a person with no hope, no future, no anything.
The rain outside seems to call to those people, to lure them into wearing dirty raincoats and loitering outside London Zoo, hoping to see that teenage mum they saw coming out of Spar last week, with the low slung trousers on. That's about as good as it gets these days, a cheap, grotty thrill at the hands of a stranger's pimply arse-crack.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:03,
archived)
They sit in darkened rooms with stacks of faded, stuck together Razzle magazines and bottles of Jack Daniels, crying gently while rocking backwards and forwards, trying to figure out where it all went wrong, and why no-one talks to them anymore. It's not like it used to, with friends and partners, somehow the good times all just evaporated and left this useless shell of a person with no hope, no future, no anything.
The rain outside seems to call to those people, to lure them into wearing dirty raincoats and loitering outside London Zoo, hoping to see that teenage mum they saw coming out of Spar last week, with the low slung trousers on. That's about as good as it gets these days, a cheap, grotty thrill at the hands of a stranger's pimply arse-crack.

but I felt more at home with analogue pr0n...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:08,
archived)

you need to get out more :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:09,
archived)

stares at the river of rainwater leaking down the walls.
So much to do though.... So much to do.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:12,
archived)
So much to do though.... So much to do.

Very gutt Very gutt, We progress ya? Shall ve book you in for anozer session next week same time?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:06,
archived)

definitely not Jack Daniels.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:10,
archived)

Is that some kind of Aussie brain zombification liquid?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:11,
archived)

about two gulps of each left, I need to visit a bottle-o soon.
Mixing them together is...interesting...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:13,
archived)
Mixing them together is...interesting...


You may take my sordid tale and offer it to someone as your current job description.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:24,
archived)

The last pay off image is so beautifully executed I had to show my appreciation.
Thanks for the smile
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:17,
archived)
Thanks for the smile

so are you drawing Gold Digger like you dreamed or is this all private dodgy stuff you're being paid to do?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:34,
archived)

More cutting edge topical punnage for you

CLICK IT YOU SLAHG!
Prolly bindunned betterer
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:33,
archived)

CLICK IT YOU SLAHG!
Prolly bindunned betterer

Good ning Griffens. And a good morning to all you happy cunts and cuntettes! I expect you all have smashing blouses on.

Myself I couldn't complain, save about the weather

suit shirt tie and hula skirt.
this weekend my missus took me to a tailor to get fitted for a new suit.
*glees*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:49,
archived)
this weekend my missus took me to a tailor to get fitted for a new suit.
*glees*

I have an orange t-shirt with a ghost with heapdhones on
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:44,
archived)

I failed to mention the rubber gloves and heels.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:51,
archived)

what are the chances of us both logging on to b3ta in the same outfit?


my blouse has printer ink stains on it, which I only noticed as I was driving to work. I may have to go and buy a new blouse at lunchtime
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:48,
archived)

I can't get the hang of these message board things.
I've also just missed my 25,000th post
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:53,
archived)
I've also just missed my 25,000th post

;)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:02,
archived)

*slowly draws hand down over face*
ha ha ha - please sit where you are, surface to desk spanging missiles have been deployed.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:36,
archived)
ha ha ha - please sit where you are, surface to desk spanging missiles have been deployed.

the warheads have been posted to you. Could you please carefully unwrap them and then detonate them when you receive them in 3-5 working days.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:55,
archived)

I hope you put the right postage on them
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:59,
archived)

they were sent as seen. If they don't work please call a POLICE bomb disposal team and then write a letter to your MP/MSP/MEP.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:04,
archived)

I'm planning a looooooong lingering death
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:42,
archived)

I've just noticed I spelled his name wrong in the punchline
bah!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:38,
archived)
bah!

It's like Pearl Harbour round here!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:39,
archived)

*sigh*
Full marks for trying :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:49,
archived)
Full marks for trying :)

Though I am not a Lee Evans fan. His high voice, nervous jerkiness and sweat problem annoy me.
Bruce Lee was cooler than Jackie Chan.
/opinions on the internets lol
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:14,
archived)
Bruce Lee was cooler than Jackie Chan.
/opinions on the internets lol

buckets and buckets of sweat.
D:
Edit: but woosome shop!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:16,
archived)
D:
Edit: but woosome shop!

provide clean, safe drinking water to an entire African village.
Seriously though, you think after all this time he would wear suits that don't show it so much.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:17,
archived)
Seriously though, you think after all this time he would wear suits that don't show it so much.

Those stage lights are fucking hot. If you've never stood under them you've no idea. Plus hes under the monster size ones.
If you've ever stood in front of a crowd doing standup, Teh fear makes you sweat even more. And with his shite act the fear must be worse :)
As an side - I was in Thailand, it was 35c - I hadn't met another English person in 6months. The first U.K. girl I met whilst in a bar made a sarcastic comment about my sweat patches. - Studpid Bitch.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:37,
archived)
If you've ever stood in front of a crowd doing standup, Teh fear makes you sweat even more. And with his shite act the fear must be worse :)
As an side - I was in Thailand, it was 35c - I hadn't met another English person in 6months. The first U.K. girl I met whilst in a bar made a sarcastic comment about my sweat patches. - Studpid Bitch.

The guy is a freak, and should be treated as such - stared at as an entertainment and then shot.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:41,
archived)

He fucked up the film The 5th Element for me and Something about Mary.
Shoot him.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:53,
archived)
Shoot him.

puddles.
he is very "energetic" in his performance style. a lot of comedians aren't
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:54,
archived)
he is very "energetic" in his performance style. a lot of comedians aren't

When you need to change your suit after 35 minutes because it's almost dripping all over then there must be something wrong.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:52,
archived)

I've no idea why he is so popular; but he can pack out the O2 so well done.Not My bag man.
Bruce Lee was a fighter. His fantastic skills allowed him to make Kung-fu films that are only good because of him.
Jackie Chan was a circus performer. His fantastic skills enabled him to make much better more rounded films after Bruce.
I remember Jackie in an interview going. Bruce Lee will alway be faster. Alway be the better. Even if he not. You cannot fight a ghost. He then went on to say that Bruce did wonders for Kong-Kong cinema. FYI - Jackie’s brother was the guy who did the famous back flip in Bruce’s film because Bruce Less couldn’t. Didn’t have years of being beating in a circus I guess.
Both are great. Lee Evens isn’t!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:31,
archived)
Bruce Lee was a fighter. His fantastic skills allowed him to make Kung-fu films that are only good because of him.
Jackie Chan was a circus performer. His fantastic skills enabled him to make much better more rounded films after Bruce.
I remember Jackie in an interview going. Bruce Lee will alway be faster. Alway be the better. Even if he not. You cannot fight a ghost. He then went on to say that Bruce did wonders for Kong-Kong cinema. FYI - Jackie’s brother was the guy who did the famous back flip in Bruce’s film because Bruce Less couldn’t. Didn’t have years of being beating in a circus I guess.
Both are great. Lee Evens isn’t!

Lee Evans used to be an under 21's champion feather weight boxer. I've personally seen him floor someone with one punch.
*blows raspberries*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:34,
archived)
*blows raspberries*

waxdart and Evans sitting in a tree...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:19,
archived)

feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
and so on.
top shop ninj; as per
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:16,
archived)
and so on.
top shop ninj; as per

I know I'm seeing Lee Evans, but he keeps warping into Garth from Waynes World.
Sorry Ninj, very woo as usual :D
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:23,
archived)
Sorry Ninj, very woo as usual :D

My little puppy is still trying to eat me on a daily basis :D
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:31,
archived)

Hello Yam...
*Rolls over and lets you tickle tummy*
...Meg does too...:)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:49,
archived)
*Rolls over and lets you tickle tummy*
...Meg does too...:)

Congrats! :) :) :) :)
My betting is XY, there's been loads of girls lately, including Trellis TNG and mini-Doom... I think it's time for some boys.
/re-lurk
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:34,
archived)
My betting is XY, there's been loads of girls lately, including Trellis TNG and mini-Doom... I think it's time for some boys.
/re-lurk

Would it help if I said I've already got an XY one, and I can't detect any differences this time around? Not that that's proof of anything...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:39,
archived)

Then I bet XY.
Or XX & XY....
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:46,
archived)
Or XX & XY....

I hadn't thought of that...
I'm sticking to my original bet though.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:49,
archived)
I'm sticking to my original bet though.

Hmmm.... Let's make this bet a little more exciting shall we?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:39,
archived)

I don't know actually...
Pint in Derby?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:51,
archived)
Pint in Derby?

It's a boy, I'll get 'em in. It's a girl, you do.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:53,
archived)

... although you can only ning half of thw world because the rest of them are asleep and if you wake them up they'll be grumpty.
ningles chap - good weekend?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:32,
archived)
ningles chap - good weekend?

*whispers so as not to wake up the other half of the world*
was rather dull, saving myself and my cash for a trip to Belfast next weekend. How's you and yours?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:39,
archived)
was rather dull, saving myself and my cash for a trip to Belfast next weekend. How's you and yours?

although I'm not broke as fuck and so saving also. Belfast is a lovely lovely lovely place. I predict merriment and joy... you international jet setter you :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:52,
archived)

The combined energy of Bruce Lee and Lee Evans... nations would cower in fear.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 11:20,
archived)

and leaving it out for them... they'll eat the hexed tuna and the bad juju with be digested into their bodies and they become hexed.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:02,
archived)

is experiencing an upsurge of interest at the moment... because people want to hex their bankers. I personally have cursed 17 one pence pieces and sent them out into general circulation.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:13,
archived)

I'll curse a 50 pence piece and wrap it in an aged tobacco leaf... when you're ready remove the protective leaf and hand over the coin. Try to remember only to touch the edges if you can.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:21,
archived)

then smoke the tobacco leaf or cut it into shreds and infuse it in your bath water... sorted.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:24,
archived)

You genius of the juju, you :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:29,
archived)

We recorded this. Anyone fancy doing some graphics for it?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:07,
archived)

I'll listen to it when it's less painful for me to do so:P
EDIT I worry myself sometime. I was searching my b3tards for something and found this I made for my absence to the Derby bash.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:09,
archived)
EDIT I worry myself sometime. I was searching my b3tards for something and found this I made for my absence to the Derby bash.

Wrut by Donkey Gums, Produced by Vintage, Singists, Crazy Jude & WW, L Space & Moo, Choir included cr3, TFS, and many more.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:13,
archived)

was hoping to pop by, but I ran out of time and may well have contracted Swine Flu so thought best not.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:15,
archived)

We had a spot of that anyway. Over there.
b3ta.com/talk/6108699
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:17,
archived)
b3ta.com/talk/6108699

Send it to Stephen Hawking, it'll cheer him up after his recent problems
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:31,
archived)

this is how you do it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xkmt_tAoCU

How is everyone this wet and cold morning?
I'm getting increasingly annoyed as I need a new watch and saw one I really like on scumBay so thought I'd have a punt. That was around 50 minutes ago and I'm still trying to pay for the bloody thing because the seller is using a custom order system before paypal and it's taking around 15 minutes to load each page.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:04,
archived)
I'm getting increasingly annoyed as I need a new watch and saw one I really like on scumBay so thought I'd have a punt. That was around 50 minutes ago and I'm still trying to pay for the bloody thing because the seller is using a custom order system before paypal and it's taking around 15 minutes to load each page.

Goldfish will eat anything tasty that they can get into their mouth, tadpoles are fair game
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:08,
archived)

My pond is a black wriggling mass of tadpoles and I just watched a cat trying to scoop some out.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:12,
archived)

you can't, like, own tadpole man, they're one of Earth's creatures and, as such, are open to digestion by other animals what are bigger faster and hungrier.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:08,
archived)

... the STP has a right to a fair trial, but I just eat it nom nom nom because I am the natural predator of a wild sticky toffee pudding and it can't defend itself.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:10,
archived)

in which case its red hot napalm lava attack is pretty devastating
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:12,
archived)

with the help of some premium vanilla ice cream
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:26,
archived)

quick - let us charter an expedition to the vanilla mines of Venezuela and bring back silks and spices the likes of which you have only dream ... of
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:30,
archived)



Click for bigger (144 kb)
Thought I would have a go myself with Hardian's head.
Comparison with original here

Incontinentious. Incontinentious BUttocks.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:49,
archived)

Looks like bees. He's covered in fucking Bees!
arghhhh!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:50,
archived)
arghhhh!

You saved me from having to type that. Admittedly typing this is taking much longer though, so I should have just typed, 'I'm covered in bees' which I've gone and typed anyway now so the entire episode has been completely and utterly selfdefeatist and has no point at all.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:54,
archived)

I think you got away with it...
nongles ghostie, trelly and all (sounds like the name of a good folk band or a bad sitcom).
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:56,
archived)
nongles ghostie, trelly and all (sounds like the name of a good folk band or a bad sitcom).

'You saved me from having to type that. Admittedly typing this is taking much longer though, so I should have just typed, 'I'm covered in bees' which I've gone and typed anyway now so the entire episode has been completely and utterly selfdefeatist and has no point at all'?
I don't think it'd roll off the tongue.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:58,
archived)
I don't think it'd roll off the tongue.

or jump off... or ski off...
perhaps a small motorbike could be constructed with a side car and a ramp...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:00,
archived)
perhaps a small motorbike could be constructed with a side car and a ramp...

It tends to get hijack by the The Two Fat Ladies.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:02,
archived)

... one fat lady and a fat zombie who used to be a lady... and a motorbike...
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:03,
archived)

She wants Juicy brains with clotted creams and chocolate sauce.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:07,
archived)

Bless her.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:01,
archived)

everyone knows that rabbits poo big pieces of pepper then you have to break them with a hammer.
ningles.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:06,
archived)
ningles.

A posh man said to me today. And I believed him.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:01,
archived)

nope, I used Seth Rogen's hair.
This is how much I suffer for you, b3ta! I spent an hour staring at Seth Rogen's face for you!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:53,
archived)
This is how much I suffer for you, b3ta! I spent an hour staring at Seth Rogen's face for you!

I've engendered a monster :)
The eyes are good and creepy too.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:51,
archived)
The eyes are good and creepy too.

Seriously, you could make money from them.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:54,
archived)

I'll have to hunt down a manufacturer of postcards and mousemats :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:55,
archived)
![Challenge Entry: Shop The Police [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)
( , Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:01, archived)

So they must all be dead
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:47,
archived)
![Challenge Entry: Shop The Police [challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif)
also, here's a motivational film.

( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:08,
archived)


I trust you all had an excellent weekend, full of barbeques, pub lunches and sunshine!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:09,
archived)

My old one and the one I'd literally just bought.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:11,
archived)

I popped to the khazi and left my office open which is normally fine but I forgot that the front door was open as it had just been painted.
My own stupid fault really but no biggy.
I wasn't fond of my new one (but could have exchanged it I suppose) and I regularly back up my phone so lost nighting on the old one.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:16,
archived)
My own stupid fault really but no biggy.
I wasn't fond of my new one (but could have exchanged it I suppose) and I regularly back up my phone so lost nighting on the old one.

Sometimes I think there really is a case for sharia law... I vote we start chopping thieves hands off
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:18,
archived)

Bring back the stocks. Not only are they humiliated, everyone knows what the thief looks like and throwing rotton food at twats is extremely stress relieving so it's winners all round.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:23,
archived)

and I'd've got no end of gip from b3ta:P
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:26,
archived)

but soddit. I've got scrambled egg on toats and I@m going to have smoked salmon for lunch:D
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:45,
archived)

I have a packet of bacon that really won't keep. Oh woe, I shall have to eat it all.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:51,
archived)

I would have had just toats for brekkie and saved the heggles for a salmon omlette.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:56,
archived)

They don't like me. I also have salmon of the unsmoked variety, and may well have that for lunch.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 10:00,
archived)



Somebody requested Socrates, and here he is...
previously on the Roman Bust Re-Animation Tour:
Philip The Arab
Caligula
Julius Caesar
Pompey

He looks like he should be fishing at the end of my garden though.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:02,
archived)

isn't that why he was put on trial and forced to commit suicide? on charges of poaching?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:05,
archived)

I tell you if I had a time machine I'd abduct one and take him to meet the other and see what happened.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:06,
archived)

*another clicky!*
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:11,
archived)

I may pause the project for a while and think of what to do with it. it could turn* into an obsession.
*has turned
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:14,
archived)
*has turned

I would direct the young lady to the image enclosed. She caught my eye once before, and might make a suitable target.

( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 9:26,
archived)


FUCKING THING FUCKING LOOKS LIKE IT FUCKING SWALLOWED A FUCKING BOWLING BALL OR SOMETHING

EVEN THOUGH ITS NASAL PROTUBERANCES ARE HORRENDOUSLY MISSHAPEN

But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy."
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:23,
archived)

I wish the song "Sit Down and Shut Up" by Zoogz Rift was somewhere (free) on the Internet
because that's where the line about swallowing a fucking bowling ball originates
in reference to himself, of course
CHRISTMAS LIGHTS? ON THE PIANO? THIS BAND'S GONNA BE WEEEIIIIRRRRD MAN

Does anyone have a Rapitinui to English dictionard on their person?
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:31,
archived)

If you have chips they make them soggy, they sully the wonderment of egg yolk and add a fake tomatoiness to fried tomatoes.
I know this is social suicide but BEANS ON FRY UP HATERS UNITE! OVERTHROW THE SHACKLES OF HEINZBASE OPRESSION!
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:50,
archived)
I know this is social suicide but BEANS ON FRY UP HATERS UNITE! OVERTHROW THE SHACKLES OF HEINZBASE OPRESSION!

I say don't be talking none of that!
you must have some pretty leaky beans if they make your chips go soggy, clearly, you're doing them wrong :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:54,
archived)
you must have some pretty leaky beans if they make your chips go soggy, clearly, you're doing them wrong :)

One who stews their baked beans!:O
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:56,
archived)

www.myspace.com/zrmusicpage
but last I looked he said he wouldn't be actually posting or reading it due to his eyesight
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:38,
archived)
but last I looked he said he wouldn't be actually posting or reading it due to his eyesight

that stuff about wanking is just a myth you know, like free trade or the tooth fairy

My throat is currently a rusty razor wrapped in sandpaper wrapped in hate and pestilence.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:17,
archived)

Dont learn Spanish and you'll be safe
/been nice knowing you Rapinuti
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:31,
archived)
/been nice knowing you Rapinuti

It raining but there is only a small chance of me going home early
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:20,
archived)


everyday is tapir day for me.
...part badger part pig. Imagine the stink...
Woo and 'ningles all.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:23,
archived)
...part badger part pig. Imagine the stink...
Woo and 'ningles all.

but as above I have to inform the uneducated. I was using Bill Bailey lyrics.
So nyaaaaaah!:P
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:29,
archived)
So nyaaaaaah!:P

I like this a lot.
so that BBC thing you were playing with last week, that's recreated as a render?
I thought it was just edited frame by frame but this is a neato
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 6:53,
archived)
so that BBC thing you were playing with last week, that's recreated as a render?
I thought it was just edited frame by frame but this is a neato

I started working on creating the BBC thing after I read on a site that they originally did it with a ball on a stick and a parabolic mirror. I started off trying to make the mirror with a ellipsoid cylinder (the POV quadric stuff was a little complicated for the time of night) and ended up leaving it unfinished. Then the other night I got the inclination to finish it off with a proper rendered parabolic mirror and that was the result. The motion sickness one was simply the result of "moving" the camera in a circle during the render.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 6:58,
archived)

the moving mirror is my favourite I think
www.b3ta.com/board/9390455

It's pretty simple really.
Unfortunately, all the angle brackets in the vectors went wonky in b3ta's formatting and it's too late at night to fix it all. I'm not sure on the protocol for posting 140 odd lines of code on /board. I think I might get shouted at :)
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 7:04,
archived)
Unfortunately, all the angle brackets in the vectors went wonky in b3ta's formatting and it's too late at night to fix it all. I'm not sure on the protocol for posting 140 odd lines of code on /board. I think I might get shouted at :)

Have you tried out MegaPOV? Some neat extras in there that can be fun.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 7:16,
archived)

test
No, it doesn't. Oh well.
dfn
code
samp
kbd
var

Javascript auto-preview, pressing "preview" and submitting/"post this message"
all do different things to your text. Not to mention the differences between the
Subject area and Message area handling. All of which is ... very different. [/:-D
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 7:56,
archived)
all do different things to your text. Not to mention the differences between the
Subject area and Message area handling. All of which is ... very different. [/:-D

I'd rather read code than a hundred and forty lines of attention-seeking drivel.
YES, I AM LOOKING AT YOU, DAY PEOPLE
or you could park it here
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 7:17,
archived)
YES, I AM LOOKING AT YOU, DAY PEOPLE
or you could park it here
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/25588411@N07/2521935059/
I mean I like Bollywood movies and all but I don't go posting on internet sites about how I want to rape the actors
how is this account not B&
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:06,
archived)
I mean I like Bollywood movies and all but I don't go posting on internet sites about how I want to rape the actors
how is this account not B&

http://www.flickr.com/photos/13109391@N04/2443959809/
frankly this is probably NSFW
ugh
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:08,
archived)
frankly this is probably NSFW
ugh


and the comments don't get removed, and nobody speaks against him (I'm presuming him).
I SAY SLIT HIS THROAT JUST IN CASE
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:15,
archived)
I SAY SLIT HIS THROAT JUST IN CASE

"the moment ur naked i wud jump on and rape or just have sex
actually both r romantic
but sex wud better "
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:17,
archived)
actually both r romantic
but sex wud better "

"ohhh...so that that bastard is tryn to touch u and rape u...
i'll kill him then i ll take u to my bedroom make u stop cryin put u on the bed
i wud strip off ur clothes away remove ur dress, ur bra and underwear
kiss every single part of ur body includin ur hands legs breasts vagina"
I'm not really sure if that's the best way to console a rape victim
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:28,
archived)
i'll kill him then i ll take u to my bedroom make u stop cryin put u on the bed
i wud strip off ur clothes away remove ur dress, ur bra and underwear
kiss every single part of ur body includin ur hands legs breasts vagina"
I'm not really sure if that's the best way to console a rape victim

they just start up again with all that crying and shaking and shit

christ, I could make a book out of these
"then i will put my penis on ur vagina which would result in fertilization in other words---sex
later we wud fall on the bed and do this till 1 month
after 1 month ill marry u"
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:10,
archived)
"then i will put my penis on ur vagina which would result in fertilization in other words---sex
later we wud fall on the bed and do this till 1 month
after 1 month ill marry u"

"next time call me when u have a bathe
or when u go to toilet ( when u go to shit...when u go to shit..u will b obvioulsy sitting on the toilet bowl
which wud mean ur underwear is no there
since to shit u have to remove ur underwear
anyways...so when u go to shit and sit on the toilet bowl
i ll lock the bathroom door
remove my pants and sit on the same toilet bowl facing u
i will let my penis touch ur vagina while i and u will sex sittin on the toilet bowl)"
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:16,
archived)
or when u go to toilet ( when u go to shit...when u go to shit..u will b obvioulsy sitting on the toilet bowl
which wud mean ur underwear is no there
since to shit u have to remove ur underwear
anyways...so when u go to shit and sit on the toilet bowl
i ll lock the bathroom door
remove my pants and sit on the same toilet bowl facing u
i will let my penis touch ur vagina while i and u will sex sittin on the toilet bowl)"

but I don't think it's copy and paste.
just remarkably similar sexual threats

I did think today
the next time somebody asks me at work
where the toilets are
I'll tell them where they are, right,
but I'll also tell them
"I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU PISSING!"
hmmm
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:22,
archived)
the next time somebody asks me at work
where the toilets are
I'll tell them where they are, right,
but I'll also tell them
"I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU PISSING!"
hmmm

which could also be something
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:26,
archived)

It reminds me a lot of the logo for a company I got involved with in the dot-com boom. Now, there's a story that'll be on QOTW if it's ever on topic.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 7:05,
archived)

I would like to play a game of thermo-nuclear war.
( ,
Mon 27 Apr 2009, 8:11,
archived)
« Older messages | Newer messages »
