Well, flicker my ginge!
What's your opinion on redheads?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)

Ok if they're attractive.
If they're fucking chavvy pricks then they're shitter than normal chavvy pricks.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

WHAT'S YOUR OPINION ON TREES?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

i like trees
a lot
( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

I hate those fucking roots
that rip up your patio
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

It's your patio's fault for inflicting its uniform flatness
on nature's voluptuously curvy landscape.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

DOWN WITH B&Q, DOWN WITH COMMUNISM

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

A TREE GREW THROUGH MY WINDOW AND ITS ROOTS ARE ON MY CAPS LOCK KEY
BUT ON THE BALANCE OF THINGS I STILL LIKE TREES
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

With regards to what?
Well they definitely have red hair.
( Druid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

i don't care about hair colour

( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

as long as it has a pulse

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

If they look like Jessica Rabbit, I'm all for it.
If they're that violent orange they can fuck off.
If they're orange from a bottle, go fuck yourself; hair colour isn't a substitute for a personality as bland as your mousy brown pubes, you vain vapid bitch.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

I have some excellent memories
of redheaded lasses
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:48, archived)

I think they're great
unless they're cunts, just like your blondes and brunettes.

Edit: GINGE LOLZ
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:49, archived)

*shouts at you*

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

Don't shout at me :(

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

You said I could

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)

Did I?

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:54, archived)

*shouts at you*

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

I've forgotten :(

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

Oh well.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

No, they're FIERY are redheads, y'see, FIERY.
That's your basic character of someone with red hair, FIERY. "Oh hi there Chris Evans" "RAAR I AM FIERY!" "OK Chris, take care now"
( Druid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

This stereotype applies to poster paint red heads as well.
Double it if you are a fat lass too.

/Wicca'd
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)

Do you mean bubbly?

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

that just means that when you handle it
you do it with thumbs outwards and your face twisted round in an apprehensive grimace, in case it goes off in your face.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:56, archived)

Bubbly is what children or teenagers are before they die.

( Druid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

No, you're thinking of
happy-go-lucky
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

No, I'm not.
BBC search for 'bubbly'.
( Druid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

poor timmy, sucked into a sodastream bottle

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

poor lucky
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

they could be bubbly and fiery
and smelly,

like sulphur pits
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

That'd be great rhyming slang.
"Cor, look at the sulphurs on her!"
( Druid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:05, archived)

Oh silly me.
How could I forget that, being a ginge and all.

ROOAR ROOAR ROOAR YOU'RE A BUNCH OF CUNTS
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:53, archived)

True, that.

( Druid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

that is what you say though

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

Shhhhhh!

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

I like this one
www.bishopsfinger.co.uk/adverts/advert7.jpg
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:50, archived)

lovely shade of green there

( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

I am in favour of female redheads. Oh yes.
Male ones...it depends.

/Wicca'd
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

Damian Lewis, Ricky Wilson, Eric Stoltz, Robert Kazminskey, Josh Homme
edit: Guy Garvey, though I'm not sure he technically counts as a ginge.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

Rod Hull...

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:01, archived)

I'm a half-ginge and I'm grrrreat.
And Ginger and Black are hilarious. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ommq5dpOR7E
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

I'd have a go on the one from Girls Aloud
Yeah, I would.
( magnum, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

I used to want to be one but I've grown into my muddy brown hair now

( Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

they are teh secks
ginger women !!!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:52, archived)

Yes.
Yes we are. Well, I say we, I'm not a great representative of this. Gillian Anderson, there. She's a good representative.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:55, archived)

she WAS the reason to watch the x-files after season four

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:57, archived)

See also: Alyson Hannigan.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:58, archived)

yes.
also the actresses who played Kaylee in firefly and the girl from sugar rush
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:00, archived)

Sugar Rush is my guilty pleasure.
I even like the book but only if I forget it's written by Julie fucking Birchill.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

I do like redheaded women.
My fav hair colour on a girl.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:02, archived)

TORI AMOS

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

On a woman, lovely - the current Mrs. Architect being a prime example of lovely red-headedness
On men, not so much, but that's not really my area of taste
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:04, archived)

Ginger men from up there
www.b3ta.com/talk/6190672
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:06, archived)

Women redheads = sexy.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6190677
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:08, archived)

Roberta Murgo
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

GET IN

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

Yes.
I wish I could.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

She's bleddy lovely, she is.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:12, archived)

I concur.
She has a very elegant neck... 0_0
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:13, archived)

Like a ginger swan.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:14, archived)

Your mate's a ginge, isn't she?
*rubs thighs*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:09, archived)

Erm, it's brown just now but it has has more coppery notes before.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:10, archived)

That'll do.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:11, archived)

I feel terrible
I'm a bus and people were inside me or something.

I dunno.

How have you been enjoying your sunny Mondays? I've been OUT! And am off to see DERREN BROWN tomorrow. He'll probably hypnotise me into having a thinner face.
( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:35, archived)

I went to work.
It dragged and I was generally moody. I'm now contemplating vodka instead of dinner.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

That rates GOOD on the plan scale

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

If you have orange juice with it
it counts as two of your five a day, so if you have three large vodka and oranges then that's healthier than eating a meal.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

I don't have orange juice :(
I have Fanta Zero though. Will that do?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

Even better!

( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)

Have both
www.cookadvice.com/recipes/vermicelli_in_vodka_sauce-9803-recipe.htm
( vladimir, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

Nice.

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)

I've been at work.
Then I came home and haven't been sexing my 17 year old housemate. Again. Not that I want to, but I thought you should know.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

How old are you?
How sexy is she?

Is she willing to show a vector of herself on QOTW?
( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

29
Not to my taste at all. Some of her friends, on the other hand.

No.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

as long as it's legal, I say go for it!

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

unsurprisingly, the new secretary at work is enamoured with me
I'm well buff.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:36, archived)

COR

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

you
yesterday
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)

Shittest Bumblebee Transformation ever

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)

a thinner face . you?
HAHAHAAHHAHHAHHAH
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

Yeah that's the fucking joke

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

I got up very early and walked all across London town.
I had a fry up and a very lovely coffee from the new Italian place on Kingsway, and then I went to Soho and bought two bags of tea (a TGFOP Assam and an Assam/Darjeeling blend), then I had a look at some linen clothing, and wondered whether I could wear it and not look like a sex case. I think I can.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

You really are the chap about town

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

I reckon I could even carry off a bright yellow jumper.
Now that, ladies and gentleman, is how to go about living correctly.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)

I say go for it.
You'll be DREAMY, Russell
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:40, archived)

I HAVEN'T FUCKING ENJOYED IT

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

I spent most of it in a darkened room.
I did go for a walk through the park on the way home though.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

I saw Derren Brown last week
it was good, but not as good as Evening of Wonders. Very very good ending though.
( magnum, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:37, archived)

I bet I can figure out how he did it
I figured out the last one. 'Cause I'm clever like.
( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)

The ending of the last one is fairly straight forward once you realise he can't see into the future.
This one is a bit more tricky. I hope he does his Stewie from Family Guy impression.
( magnum, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:41, archived)

The ending of the last one is fairly straight forward once you realise I've got two motherfucking penises

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:42, archived)

Not quite

( magnum, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)

great.
You're an idiot.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:44, archived)

Just ignore it
that's not how it was done, and he's just looking to spoil people's enjoyment.
( magnum, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:45, archived)

I've been revising. And begging the lady in the graduation office to let e have an extra ticket so my grandma can come to graduation.
Tomorrow I have my last ever exam (until I do my masters) and then I am going to get so drunk that I cannot see. Then have a short nap and go and see Richard Herring.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

i like totally sat in my garden and read a book

( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

woah

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:39, archived)

what book ?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:43, archived)

the plague

( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:45, archived)

I'm reading
The Pirates! in an adventure with Whaling
it's great.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:45, archived)

after reading moby dick i can honestly say that i never want to read another word on the subject of whaling

( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)

I fucking loved Moby Dick

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:47, archived)

i enjoyed it
especially the chapter where he conclusively proves that whales are fish
( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:51, archived)

TWO PEOPLE READING?
what are the chances
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:46, archived)

I had work, but came home and since then I have:
Read a mini bit in the garden
Eaten a trout OM NOM NOM with Jersey Royals and salad
Watched the stoats on Springwatch on iplayer :)
( Druid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:38, archived)

I finished my last ever chemistry exam,
I am now all set to graduate
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:40, archived)

I feel terrible
A couple of weeks ago someone was murdered and CCTV from the bus shows my bus virtually outside the house. I was there for 15 minutes having a cigarette and I remember some guys hanging around. But I'm trying to remember it and I can't, I have a memory like a sieve :(
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)

You did it though, right?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)

Just try and forget it then.
Problem solved.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)

I have to go and give a statement though

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

don't tell them you just can't remember
they'll water-board you, best to make something up
( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

Is your mouth still blue?

( rosie posie tingly bongly, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

You saucy thing.
Not anymore. I had various meaty snacks for dinner a bit ago.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

I'm not going to be able to eat dinner for AGES AND AGES
because we've got to go to sainsbury's before tea and they'd shut oxford circus so him indoors won't be in for so long. HUNGRY. And the olives aren't helping.

When are you going on your holidays?
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:37, archived)

Bosnia on the 17th, India on the 10th July
EXCITING TIMES.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:37, archived)

Rnuk -
Life coach, lover, man.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:12, archived)

You forgot gynacologist.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:17, archived)

under-plumber

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:20, archived)

What brand of cigarrette were you smoking?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)

so basically, you're responsible for a murder?

( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:30, archived)

FUUUUUUUUUCK!
DON'T GO TO THE POLICE, they're corrupt.
An FBI agent will somehow find you anyway, convince you to testify, then you'll have to fly somewhere but there will be MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANE.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:32, archived)

Oh I watched that last night. What a load of wanky.

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

I enjoyed it in the cinema
so watched it last night. My housemate was all "so this is funny right? When's the funny bit? Did I miss it?" and I was like "it's more fun than funny. The baldy fella throws the dog to a snake, then hegts et by the same snake. And SLJ sez "get these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane" and a chap gets bit on the winky and a girl gets bit on her boob and stuff and stuff."
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:24, archived)

and then I was like "turn it over if you want"
and she was all like "no, you chose this. We'll watch it" and I wished I'd put terminator 3 on instead, but that's shit too.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:25, archived)

MUCH LIKE THE VICTIM!

as long as they were stabbed repeastedly in the head. If not imagine this post was about dogs wearing trousers
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:33, archived)

Why do you feel terrible?
What the fuck were you supposed to have done?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:34, archived)

Get rid of the witnesses
DUH!
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

I wish I'd have took a photo of them on my phone

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)

I'm not convinced
that taking photos of murderers is a particularly sensible idea.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:42, archived)

Do you normally take pictures
of random people when you see them hanging around?
( Dobsky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:44, archived)

also
your mobile phone probably wouldn't have taken a much clearer picture than your bus's CCTV, not in the dark
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)

it wasn't dark
it was still pretty light even at 9.50pm. I may be on a crimewatch reconstruction coming to your screens soon...
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)

Oh.
It's not your fault y'know, don't blame yourself. You can't take photos of every miscreant, you'll get yourself duffed up.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)

That's because it is summer and it doesn't get dark for aaaaages
It rocks. Now, you should stop worrying as there is fuck all you could have done.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:50, archived)

Yeah, but you can't have known they were murderers, for fuck's sake.
Get over it.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)

Then how would you explain having photos of them?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:46, archived)

There's nothing illegal in taking photos of people.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:59, archived)

I think there has to be some sort of warning posted
for it to count as evidence in a court, though.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:03, archived)

Do you normally go around taking photos of strangers looking suspicious?
You couldn't have known. Stop beating yourself up about it.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:08, archived)

Knowing that if you weren't a retard, people who are dangerous to all the public are on the streets
when there is a chance for them to be locked away.

I don't think that makes sense actually
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:39, archived)

No, it doesn't.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

how about taking the journey again, same time of day, taking a notebook with you and seeing if you can remember anything as you go along, and when you get to the same bit on the journey again. You might do. If it really does bother you that you can't remember more, it might be worth it, then you won't have a hangover of :-( -ness about it all, and you'll know you did what you could to help
/serious suggestion
( vladimir, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:38, archived)

Oh hang on a minute,
suggestionFAIL, you drive them, don't you.
( vladimir, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:40, archived)

Fuck sake, just ignore me.
I'm a thick cunt.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:45, archived)

we've all done this for a while now maffers

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:48, archived)

*some kind of bland, middle of the road, comment*

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:49, archived)

good banter, no offence, ace

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:13, archived)

all about the MURDERBUS!
single to ETERNAL GUILT! please

one pound fifty

thanks
( moohalaa, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:54, archived)

be fair,
how often to people hanging around bus stops warrant special attention.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:55, archived)

not very often
if you drive to the places I do
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

they might be,
you know, waiting for a bus, or something.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:02, archived)

You've got no reason to feel guilty,
nobody remembers every apparently inconsequential detail of their lives, just in case it might turn out to be important later. The only guilty folks are the ones who did it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:01, archived)

My housemates are going to see Mitch Benn and I have to stay in and revise.
RUBBISH.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:09, archived)

Genuinely uselful
lifehacker.com/5273620/prey-phones-home-to-help-you-recover-your-stolen-laptop
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

Useful and SEXY, too, rnuk

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

Thanks, handsome

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

Oh, you.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:26, archived)

That sounds... exploitable
Much like your mum
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:27, archived)

*stalks*

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:29, archived)

that looks good
but I'll wait* for the english windows version

*forget about
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:31, archived)

I had an idea similar to that a while ago.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 19:04, archived)

Remember the days we'd discuss Monkey Beer?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:12, archived)

I do

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

*BOOMS UP TOP!*
img10.imageshack.us/img10/7803/gmognoglasses.jpg
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

you have beautiful eyes

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:14, archived)

Heron Flight, anybody?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

what's it taste like?

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

boy howdy!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

There used to be photoshops of Sturdy Girl, Beattie and GMoS.
Now it's lies on QOTW and fat birds moaning on here.
I suggest we all get rid of the shit b3tans and get back to the good old days of talent and no girls.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:14, archived)

i reckon we could stand to lose a few hundred, yes

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

Prepare the luring cake.
I'll fire up the boats with holes in.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:23, archived)

i've readied the pie cannons, cap'n

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:36, archived)

I don't

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:14, archived)

that's how potent the beer was
( vladimir, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:15, archived)

i can't remember how the taste is described now :(
i remember it wasn't for the ladies though


Edit: clean and crisp?
( well, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:16, archived)

I forget, too.
But yes. Not for girls.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)

talking about monkey beer again?
JMG. REPEATS. SELF.
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:17, archived)

Haha!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)

I could certainly do with a cool Monkey Beer right now.
Nothing beats its clean, crisp taste.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:20, archived)

*FIRM handshakes*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:21, archived)

the crisp taste of monkey beer
mmm-hmmm
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:22, archived)

it goes hand in hand with the foamy taste of monkey crisps

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

Nope
But I remember working in spoons in Fenham. Occasionally people would order food, then shift table.
We'd take the food out to the table, then half an hour later angry people would come up to the bar and complain that their food hadn't arrived. The old charvas sat at the table they'd vacated would've just munched it down, and we'd call the people who moved idiots.
( CowJam, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:25, archived)

SHUT UP. ME.
www.b3ta.com/board/9485476

Me.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:36, archived)

Can you send me the original GMoS pic? I fancy doing some things

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:38, archived)

www.b3takit.co.uk/page4.htm
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Actually, i dont care

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:52, archived)

You couldn't do it, huh?
OH FRIZ!
You delectable fruit!
When you're famous you can MAKE people do this stuff for you!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

PHWOAR.
Although, filming's being put back. Which is annoying and grr.
( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

Writer's strike?
I'd like to picket some scab writers.
Grab your baseball bat, F! There's a blockade to be formed.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

I'll get my ENTOURAGE to do it

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)

^ this is the thanks you get, Jammie.
( vladimir, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

It's my own fault.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

Aiee! Blame paradox! /talk might disappear into some kind of space impossibility
( vladimir, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:55, archived)

BETTER
b3ta.belm.co.uk/gmos2
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

SILLY
img193.imageshack.us/img193/4748/image1iqa.jpg
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

JMG, I'm going to pick a fight with you,
online.

You massive wanker.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:39, archived)

NO TIME FOR YOU RIGHT NOW, NERD!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

That's right,
you've got to go sign on haven't you?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

Yes.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:42, archived)

and visit the toupee shop on the way back.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:43, archived)

Rik truely is a sexy man
*frots*
( SuperMatt, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

is this about baldmonkey's podcast?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:40, archived)

No. That's shit.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:41, archived)

I met him yesterday
he's a nice guy
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:44, archived)

ce guy gger
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

I should strike through yesterday and put saturday
but I can't be arsed.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:47, archived)

that's not you,
it's gmos. duh!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:45, archived)

The best looking man in middle England.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:46, archived)

you take north, gmos can have middle
I CALL SOUTH
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

BOOM!
Best Governorship ever!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:54, archived)

regarding deputies,
i pick DG. i assume you'll take RR. not sure who grandma will want.

either way, it's shaping up nicely
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

GMoS will take RR as he's in the area.
I'll take Hubare and Handsome Gav's out with the ladies.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)

aha, i see.
that is a heroic team. the plebs don't stand a chance
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:08, archived)

If Baldmonkey attacks from the south we can distract him and take his gold.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:09, archived)

we live in the same city
i'll keep an eye on him
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:13, archived)

Hi there jammers

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:49, archived)

Can you clear up this Wormulus is banned nonsense?
As I'm seriously offended and might make fun of many people.
..and if there's been BULLYING of anybody without me being there I'm going to be quite put out.

I'll be withdrawing GMoS and RR from the negotiation tables in future, etc.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:50, archived)

I think you should also note that wormulus lost an arm wrestle to a girl.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:51, archived)

*Head in Hands*
A point to SexFace.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:53, archived)

but the banning thing was due to Wormulus
saying that he was b3ta's puppetmaster controlling us all.
He then mimed being a puppet master in a frankly hilarious way for a good while.
Cr3 banned him for 24 hours for being a cock in public, he'll be back.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

Isn't that what I do?
:(
Was Wormulus me at the b4sh!/11 ?
Donkey Gums is a better JMG impersonator, I've heard. Let him do it.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:57, archived)

bet you wished you come now eh?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:58, archived)

Oh no! I'm a germophobe.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:02, archived)

Haha, so Wormulus was banned for being shit?
There is justice in the world.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:56, archived)

Wormulus has been banned?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:00, archived)

not any more, cr3 banned him for 24 hours as a joke at the bash
CALM DOWN EVERYONE
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:01, archived)

No. I think this needs looking in to more.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

We could possibly have a long discussion on GAZ about it.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

Honestly, total noobs like cr3 shouldn't really have mod status.
Things would be so much better with JMG as MOD.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:03, archived)

I'M PREPARED TO WORK WITH MY CLOSE FRIEND INTERNET CR3 TO RID THE WORLD OF FAT INTERNET.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:04, archived)

He'd have to become your deputy though.
You get to give him a dead arm every time he's influenced by a girl.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 18:05, archived)

Episode 15; the anti-Wormulus because it is OUT NOW.
baldmonkeystuff.blogspot.com/
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I bet it;s rubbish.
/ac
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

I have to say
they've not been getting better as time goes by.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

No.
Richard wants to give in. I think he may have a point.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

it's like Brookers without the video

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

I think you should do it with someone else
possibly a hungry leopard.

Or maybe just someone who is funny and has lots of ideas.

Sammi ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

Pickle Fairy.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Dekioplexis.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Master of turnips

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:19, archived)

DONT BE FUCKING GRUMPY YOU BASTARD.
fuck sneezy instead. far more entertaining.
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

I'd prefer to fuck sleepy.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:26, archived)

I'd go for Dopey
I like them vulnerable.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

Pickled cucumber
would probably make a half decent attempt at improving the BMPC
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:10, archived)

Pub?

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

Is he still banned?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

What for?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

being banned

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Cr3 banned him on Madam Marlbouroughs request on Saturday
I think the reason given was "being a cock in public"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Haha

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

CR3: BOWING TO THE WILL OF THE MASSES

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

She is pretty fit though.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I'd ban Wormulus for her.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

I'd ban wormulus for sammi

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

haha

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Dude.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

+a
am e
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Oof!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

+g
( M o D, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

wormulus for

g
( moohalaa, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:59, archived)

how about for me?

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

I'd ban sleepybinky for you.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:30, archived)

I'm reserving judgement until I'm convinced she's not a bloke

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

I'd reserve judgement
until it's proven she sucks people off for banning Wormulus
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:49, archived)

I'll be honest here, I'd suck cr3 off if it got Wormulus banned

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

I'd suck you off
for £8,000,000
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

I'd suck pretty much anyone off for £100.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

I heard that sex with you is like "being licked out by a mouse"

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

done
when can i expect the £100?
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

how about half a cigarette?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

DONE
*grows tache*
*Develops severe mental illness*
*Dresses up as Susan Boyle*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

I kind of hope Wormulus dies.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

haha yeah
of cancer or something, that'd be ace
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

AIDS ?
Elephant rape ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:56, archived)

elephant tusk down the urethra

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:58, archived)

Clickin dis too.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

don't make me go upside yo head

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:01, archived)

1:47
www.b3ta.com/links/More_b3ta_London_bash_stuff
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

Yep
She's a woman allright. Definately looks alive and I'm 98% certain she doesnt have a cock.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:02, archived)

I'm afraid that's where you're wrong

( SuperMatt, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

Does she collect Pandas ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

I have NO idea

( SuperMatt, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

There's a large number of people who've met me on here now
and can hopefully vouch for the girl thing
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

You could do with some facial disfigurement
and putting on about 2st.

It'd help you fit in around here.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

Actually I'm pretty good with the whole not being fat thing
but thanks anyway.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:07, archived)

You sure ?
It's quite common round here for people to bang on about how great being a munter is.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

CLICKING THIS

( SuperMatt, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

Evening flirt box :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:09, archived)

hey you
:D
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:12, archived)

All boys are going crazy over you, no getting a big head :P
Anyway, you already said I get first dibs as well as some other insteresting 'skills' or can you not remember due to THE MANY PINTS?!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:14, archived)

I stand by that DG ;)
How is girly arms?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:18, archived)

;D
Dunno, he hasn't been on today, his arms might be too weak to type and is soothing them in bowls of ice water as we speak.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:20, archived)

He got quite upset how sore his hands were
poor little soldier.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:22, archived)

You're going to tease him about it until the day he dies now, aren't you?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:24, archived)

hell yes.
He brings it on himself.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:25, archived)

lol ah well :)
Still was good seeing you again babe, have to arrange a drink or something with the Blue & Pink crew ;)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:27, archived)

Right back at you too
And i'll try not to make a tit of myslef next time ;)
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:28, archived)

I had a fit girl on my lap most of the night, didn't bother me one bit ;P

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

Oi, that's fuscia Gummy

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

PIIIIINK!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:32, archived)

Magenta cock

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:33, archived)

There's no shame in being a man.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:23, archived)

Just a lack of factual accuracy

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:29, archived)

Modern science has come on leaps and bounds.
You could change if you like.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:31, archived)

I've met her, she's defo a she. Pretty tasty at that, too. But balshy. Very balshy.

( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:03, archived)

ball shy?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:04, archived)

I 'tarded it.
bolshevik
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:06, archived)

youtube evidence is required

( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

you'll have to take my word for it.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

Did happen, but he was only banned for 24 hours I think as a joke :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

Why's he not here today then?
I thought he'd be on here playing the victim card.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

He's probably got this thing called 'work' to do :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

HALT THE INTERNET RIGHT HERE.
What?!
..and WHO do I make fun of first on this?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:54, archived)

Madam M
It's cool to slag off chicks.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:55, archived)

They'll DEFO shag you if you call them names.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:08, archived)

I wish you were dead
nice to me
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

Did you read the small print?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

oh

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

I hate you

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

+my e
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Oh man this is getting zapped to my mini mp3 boombox this evening

( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

It has FOUR completely SEPERATE phone pranks.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

I really liked the one where you phoned up the windscreen company and told them you wanted to perform a hilarious prank call

( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:48, archived)

Yes.
I ran out of ideas after that.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

after before
( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:52, archived)

Oh man this is getting ignored by practically everyone

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:46, archived)

Sympathy reply to say I listened.
I didn't but you have my sympathy.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:53, archived)

I DISAGREE WITH EVERYTING GILGAMESH SAYS.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

What if he says he disagrees with everything he says too?

( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

EVERYTHING FLAPJACK SAYS IS A LIE


/cretin paradox
/too early for philosophy puns
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

this is because flapjack is like cake

( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:47, archived)

*cunts you right in the Cretans*

Edit - that's not a paradox though. If you say always lie, then you could be lying about that, and therefore sometimes tell the truth, rendering the statement valid. Boo-Ya.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:51, archived)

I disagree with anyone who disagree with anything that anyone else disagrees with.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

Gilgamesh said you were good in bed

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

The person directly underneath me is a prize cunt.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

*slides in gently*

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

I AM SLIGHTLY OFFSET not drectly underneath.

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:50, archived)

that's not a nice way to talk about my mum.
No, wait, hang on.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

GET A JOB, HIPPY

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

RNUK HAS A LARGE PENIS.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:42, archived)

You're shit.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:43, archived)

I heard he's hung like an aubergine

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

When it's sunny and warm like this I tend to play lots of loud music.
I really like this new guy Daniel Merriweather, he has an awesome voice but always looks a bit pissed in interviews and even confessed to feeling a bit drunk after two cocktails on something for the weekend yesterday hair of the dog perhaps?.

The artist I dislike the most is Beyonce I'm yet to find a song by her that doesn't have the same words repeated over and over in the chorus.

Tell me of your likes and dislike of music.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

OH I LOVE THE STUFF ON LIGHT IN CHAINS RANDOMBURN.

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

i am really enjoying the hoosiers, muse, death cab for cutie and mika recently

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

on second thoughts, i'm not wasting my aceness on you now.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

THANKS.

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

*face smooshery*

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

OH MY NOT AGAIN.

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

i cant cope with all this loving :(

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

hang on what am i saying? BRING IT ON I LOVE IT.

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

You LOVES it.
*beardyrubs*
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

i doooooo :D
*beardy tickles*
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

third beard locked
MULTIBEARD!
*beards*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

hey IIII dont have a beard, yours is the SECOND.
*tickles your fancy*
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

I WANT IN ON THIS

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

GROW A BEARD, BALDYCHIN

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

*rubs you right up*

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

GET IN

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

i know, but i didn't get to use the multibeard line without the third beard bit
i couldn't take the risk that no-one else would beard you up.
I JUST COULDN'T
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

you used to love my randombums
:(
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

jim noir and modest mouse are my most favourite.

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

you want wan o mine?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

eeeee :DDDDD

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

i mean YES PLEASE
i have a new address now.
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

i'll send you one.
it'll probly be crap BUT YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT.
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

I GOT ONE FROM HIM TOO
but i haven't listened to it yet
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I LIK EIT.

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

I LIK EYOU

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I LIK EYOU TOO.
*bashfuls*
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Every word of this thread makes me sadface :(

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Why?
Do you like Beyonce?
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

If he liked it then he should have put a ring on it

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

apparently I snored incredibly loudly this weekend at the bash.
Excellent news for all those who were in the same room as me.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

img43.imageshack.us/img43/1830/gmarshos.jpg
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

my melons are giant.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

HOT HOT HOT

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

*faints*

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

i bet you snore like james bond

( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

This sounds like a year 4 homework assigment

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

today I got up late and went into work a bit late but it wasnt a problem as the manager wasnt there
and my team don't really care about each others hours then I had a cup of tea
and then I had a greggs pastie slice thing and some more tea then I went home early
and it is very sunny today.by declan aged 21 and 11 12thfths.
( moohalaa, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPmMs1XBm8E
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

If it's true that there an infinite number of alternate realities/dimensions
Does that mean that somewhere there is a dimension where, as we speak, Baldmonkey is getting it on with Bob Todd whils she simultaneously craps into Sexfaces mouth?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

not necessarily.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

:(

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

In the club
In the club
Club club club
all my girls
i'm rich
in the club
club
going to the club
self important
hangin' in the club
club club club fucking club.

thats how all her songs sound to me
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

See also: 50 Cent

( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:37, archived)

I like Ben Folds Five and Sting and Super Furry Animals.
I don't like Nine Inch Nails or any of that dragon roaring stuff.

I also don't like classical music, especially the twee twiddly stuff.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

My facial hair is growing ever further up my cheek
I fear it will be in my eye within a matter of months
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I get a single white hair about half an inch below my left eye.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

I also get this
Its odd
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

it's a mind control device
*remotes*
( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:39, archived)

everyone i know loves ben folds, but seem not to knwo any of the ben folds five stuff
i too like ben folds five
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I had a dream the other night
that Ben Folds Five had moved to Edinburgh, and I was hanging out with them, in their hideout, which was an Anderson shelter in the woods.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

have you heard the a capella album?
its on spotify if you havent.
(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

I haven't.
I only buy CDs from charity shops anyway.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

ive got their naked baby photos album and 54th street sessions live sessions ifyou want a copy

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:35, archived)

I've got Naked Baby Photos
and Whatever And Ever Amen.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 17:13, archived)

I feel that I dislike Ben Folds Five intently
but looking through their discography I can't find any songs that I recognise, so I might be getting them confused with someone else.

Anyway, whoever I'm thinking of, it's a band that people always play in their cars on long journeys and I know all the words to about five of their songs and they're really irritating and all "ooh look at us our lyrics are so clever and we know it and we're going to acknowledge how up ourselves we are to our listeners and that makes it OK hahaha". Cunts.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

Ah, no.
It's actually Frank Turner. I saw Million Dead once, and they were OK. But his solo stuff I really hate.

Sorry, Ben Folds.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:44, archived)

I like and dislike music

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

I fucking hate ska punk.
I love Modem and am slightly disturbed/annoyed such genius can come from a 19 year old.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I don't like ska or modern country
That's about it. Although there's probably exceptions there. Just as a general rule, I tend to avoid msuic from there most of all.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

What's to dislike about ska?
I thought *everyone* liked ska.

I like everything except modern country, shitty RnB and most opera.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

I don't know why, I just find it hard to listen to
I like a bit of the old Opera though. Fat chicks belting out tunes? Nice.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

The trouble with opera singers
is that it's all "mimimimimimimi" with them.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:34, archived)

Oh yes.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

i like most stuff, though some bands are more everyday music than others
i can't really listen to space more than once a year for instance, but they still make me happy when i do
( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Zappa in a citroen?

(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Dylan in an Audi TT,
Marley in an LDV Maxus.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

like oh my god like totally

( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:32, archived)

Frank Sinatra
fucking brilliant
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME OR I'LL FUCKING KICK OFF

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

Do it
I dares ya
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:31, archived)

agreein with you right here

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

well that saved an ugly scene

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

placating gilgy over here, boss.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:24, archived)

wow, this is such a good way to force my views on others

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:25, archived)

He's no Mike Flowers

( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:40, archived)

I don't like all this repetitive "indie" bollocks.
All sounds the same, none of them have a unique sound.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

It's plodding.
Verse, chorus, verse, chorus.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

I used to hate pop music
til I realised I was being a pathetic music snob. I like lots of kinds of music. I think I really only dislike happy hardcore ravey dance stuff and ragga stuff.

/exciting blog
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

I mainly dislike anybody who needs a magazine to tell them what music they should enjoy
I like the fact that if I dedicate myself enough and can put up with listening to a lot of crap on the internet, I will eventually come across new things I've never heard before that blow my mind
( Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

I use my amazon recommended list/genius in conjunction with myspace

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

What's wrong with repeating the same words over and over?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:41, archived)

It's worked out OK for Daft Punk.

(MooCow_Byter, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:45, archived)

I would like to bring the topic of shoes to the table.
I would also like to know about your fantabulous shoes, because pretty shoes make the world go round.
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

I buy leather shoes. I do not like synthetics.
Other than that i'm not that bothered. No high heels, mind.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

On the subject of high heels
I saw some pink shoes in Topshop, they must have been at least six inches or more high. It mystifies me how people can actually walk on spikes that tall.
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

Pass.
I do like to look at them being worn though.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

It takes a certain amount of precision and balance.
Maybe these qualities make them wonderful in bed, I'm not sure.
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

Only if they are part of knee high boots.
Then we're talking!
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

talking in a very kinky relationship.
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

U KNOWS IT!
God. Yes.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

Watching them try to go downhill is particularly amusing.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Tilting platform high heels
to allow for C.O.G compensation.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

i like platforms.
having said that, ive only ever had one pair, and i broke them at the weekend whilst miraculously avoiding twisting my ankle.
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

i sadfaced :(
i liked those shoes
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

hello binky
*polite handshake*
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

HELLO ROOCKET
*impolite nuzzles*
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

we've not had an internet hug for ages
*improper prodding*
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

*ungenteel licks*

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

*dishonerable discharge*
sorry.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

so you should be, spelling dishonorable like that :(

( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:27, archived)

I have recently bought two pairs of £80 shoes
They are lovely Sketchers trainers and they are very comfy and look awesome
( __, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

That was Othello

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

No, it was God.
/Bruce Almighty
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

/and Evan Almighty

( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

I didn't bother with the sequel.
Bruce Almighty was a passable film, I didn't want to ruin it.
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

I dont think Evan Almighty aws a sequel
I think they just got the same black dude to play God in both.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

TERRIBLE UNORIGINALITY.

( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

I have
two pairs of trainers
one pair running shoes
one pair squash shoes
one pair shoe shoes.

Anyone who wears flip flops/sandals should be killed. Violently.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

Flip flips?
Surely if they don't flop, they don't work...
Oh, that's better...
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

they only go upward
the inadvertent paddler could end up floating in the middle of the air, somewhere above the sea
( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

i have sandals
i challenge you to a duel
( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

I challange you to stop being a cunt who deserves to be killed.
You flip flop wearing nancy boy.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

From a man with squash shoes???

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Yes.
I only wear them when I play squash.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

You should wear football boots.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

Oh yeah.
I have a pair of astroturfs too.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

I have 3 pairs of astroturf trainers, 2 pairs of boots and some indoor triners.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

I tried playing football in my hockey astros
CONTROLFAIL. the spikes on the side mess stuff up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

haha

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

i never said they were flip flops
they are VELCRO

and they contain poison darts
( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

On the beach they are acceptable.
Worn on a cold Scottish winter's morning accompanied by cargo shorts, a wooly hat and scarf and a short sleeved rugby top they should be exterminated.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

No.
On a beach, go barefooted.

On a shingle beach, wear trainers.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

No,
it's too hot. Sandals have their place. It's just not near civilisation.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

No, it's never too hot.
Trainers are designed so that your feet don't sweat like jews in a death camp.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Maybe you've never been to the beaches I have.

(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

Maybe you own crap trainers?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I dont own any trainers,
I only own shoes and weightlifting shoes, which are also leather.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

that sounds like a good plan for self-immolation anyway

( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

I 'm thinking of the Rugby loving student dolts wondering about my neck of the woods.
The Rah! Rah! Rah! crowd.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

oh them
they've got it coming. come the revolution and all that
( spacefish bong!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

I'm wearing Birkenstocks
what, in essence, are you going to fucking do about it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

In essence,
I'm going to end your world.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

My work shoes need a polish
and 2 days after I bought them they got a big ol' scuff down the side.
( magnum, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

I was complimented on Saturday because my shoes matched the rest of my outfit
To be honest, I'd never go out with shoes that don't match.
( SuperMatt, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
I think is the correct respone here.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

What, like a flip-flop and a trainer?

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

something like that
but you must make sure you wear shoes with the same heel or you'll be in trouble.
( SuperMatt, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

I have shoes, they go on my feet and the stop dog poo getting between my toes

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

there's nothing quite like the feeling of a cold wet dog poo squishing underfoot

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

I've never owned any 'fantabulous' shoes.
My shoes have been there to stop my feet from being shown, that's all
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

don't put shoes on the table, it's bad luck

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

gah

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

*victory jig*

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

It's bad luck to put shoes on the table.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:55, archived)

I have a new pair of leather shoes
and for the first time in about 8 years they are not boot-style shoes.
I would much prefer to have my boots back.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

I also have one pair of training shoes
and two pairs of slippers - one pair stolen from a hotel, and the other pair of slippers are leather.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

I own one pair of shoes
And one pair of trainers.

I dont see the need for any more.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

dont the need for any more. cant see my feet anyway.
( Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

High top Cons folded down

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

If your shoe becomes untied, that means that someone is talking about you

( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

the reverse is true also

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

I walk behind people in the street and talk about them
Watching their shoelaces untie themselves as they trot along
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Apparently the Japanese believe it's sneezing twice = gossiping.
I consider this the same level of ridiculousness. Maybe it just means you can't tie your shoes properly.
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

I just bought a pair of Dickie's steel toe boots.
they're very manly.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

I'm awesome, I agree.
(one pair of smart shoes, one pair of approach shoes, one pair of trainers, 3 pairs of climbing shoes, one pair of sandals)
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

I have shoe woes, mostly.
Though a girl asked me where I got my shoes from on Friday night. I advised her that they were in the kids section so she might not be able to get any.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

Do your Magic Step Shoes allow you to defeat the evil witch?

( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

I am the evil witch

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

I'll take the key from my shoe and STRIKE THEE DOWN

( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

pfft :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Never open your brolly indoors

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

Not even if it's raining?

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

I think in that case,
you need someone to take a look at the roof.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

I have some bowling shoes
some converse type ones in white with pictures of guns on and some black addidas ones.

More information available at request.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

I would like more information

(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

The Addidas trainers are Chile 62s,
originally developed for playing football on frozen pitches.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

cam pls?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

You're SO cool

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

You knows it!
Actually the bowling shoes are a fucking health hazard, no grip, I don't wear them much anymore.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:05, archived)

I like going barefoot
I haven't worn any shoes in the last week.
( Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Chris Rock is the best standup on the planet.
You people LOVE to disagree with a new thread.
Here's a cracking opportunity!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

Books Like Kryptonite to &^%%£&$

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
It's a shame Mykey doesn't see any of this.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

He would only agree with the statement and not realise it's satirical.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

:(
Oh Mykey!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

'i aint never been to jail'

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

Also Chris Rock in Leathal Weapon 4 is epic :)

Didididid one Didididid two Didididid oh fuck I did the wrong number, better start again! Didididid one Dididididid two...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

I like piston brokes stuff

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

Have you stopped taking your meds again?

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

I'm one of the four b3tans that are unmedicated.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

There are two others?
/unlikely
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

they're in my mind

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

whoop whoop whoop!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

But you might need some...
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Nah, I'm sound as a pound in the head I am.
I just sometimes think I'm a peacock, that's all.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

pea wee
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

You'd like me to wee on you, wouldn't you?
wouldn't you?
WOULDN'T YOU?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

Don't wee in my hair this time.
It goes all frizzy.
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

I AM NOT MEDICATED
canyoutellcanyoutellcanyoutell
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

That's because they haven't invented Anti-Rapist pills yet.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

What you frowning about?!?!
They can't stop you, you should be HAPPY!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

He's very tired.

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

So, now I'm not only a rapist,
I'm a lazy rapist.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

He's not very funny.
I am listening to Slade.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

They're not very good.
I'm drinking Pepsi.

..and so forth.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

I can't disagree with Pepsi.
I have strawberry milk.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

Drinking pepsi
will give me severe stomach pains.
I can only drink coke.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

... what manner of fail are you?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

its no fail
Pepsi is just shit, and poison as far as I'm concerned.
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

my great aunt had a fling with noddy from slade, FACT.
she was his Bit of Fluff.
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

That's cool.
I love Noddy Holder.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

one of my other great aunts had early plastic surgery after her gas oven exploded in her face, killing one of her children and severely injuring another.
she was more cool that great aunty kate. she lived in an oldschool terrace back in the day, and in teh day she would do the whole street's laundry and in the night she would do the whole street's baking. she was virtually a WONDERWOMAN
( sleepybinky, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

I watched that Richard Pryor chap on Youtube earlier.
I can see where Chris Rock would get his inspiration from, they're both very funny.

/Sitting on the fence
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

Richard Pryor's sketch about fighting Ali and shooting his Car are two of my favourites ever :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

I enjoy Chris Rock's work
But I don't think he's made very good films.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

But but but what about Pootie Tang :'(

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

I haven't seen that
I'm prepared to admit I might be wrong. I just think the ones I've seen (early 90's ones) have been a bit crap.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

I like him.
I'm going to see Richard Herring record his DVD tomorrow and I'm well looking forward to it.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

We've done stand ups already today JMG.
But even so, I'm a fan of Stewart Lee. And I'm going to see Ed Byrne in November. So, woo. I suppose.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

It is a hot day.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

I have a feeling it will be sunny until about noon on friday.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

and then what?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

IMPLOSIONS

(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

I shall be sure to wear a jacket

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

I have a feeling it'll get dark 4 times before then.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

I disagree.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

You are a polar bear
AICMFP
( turb0t, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

in scotland at this time of year,
it never quite does.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

I was outside last night
at 12.05 and there was a nice glow in the north west sky. It got dark, just, about 12.20.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:51, archived)

I saw chris rock live.
He was brillo.

Some of the fatter members of the audience almost chocked on their buckets of assorted confectionery when they found out he was black.
( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

I don't know who he is
so I'm going to assume he's a cunt
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

tits like coconuts

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

I only remember him in Fifth Element
and he was pretty annoying. It's a role, fair enough.

But someone said that he plays that role in every film, so i'm lumping him in with that other crock-o-shite 'funny man' Martin Lawrence.
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

He wasn't in the Fifth Element
You're thinking of Chris Tucker
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

In that case
I dont know him, and I don't like Chris Tucker.

Take that Tucker!
(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

Jaaaaackie...YOOOOOOOOOOOCRAYZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

Chris Tucker gave both his kidneys to orphan children
But those children grew up to be Hitlers
( Theoban What of it, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

My rage is justified then

(thediscokingpin, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:52, archived)

He was in Fifth Element?
Wasn't that that chap in that Bad Boys movie? The thin one.
( Bats, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

That's Will Smith
oh god, you lot are so racist. "all look the same" blah blah blah
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

P.s. I can do a WICKED Nelson Mandela impression

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

That was Wesley Snipes.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

That was Sidney Poitier.

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

That was Stevie Wonder

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

That was Oprah Winfrey

( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

That was a blacked up Will Mellor

( RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

That was Kofi Annan

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

That was Condoleezza Rice.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)