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Smart
my idea for a game show is in the newsletter, now one of you fucking cunts make it please and send me some money.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

I'll get onto it now,
as long as it's an advert for peely eels
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

Nah
it's for a diluted spunk drinking competition.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

I'm on it.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

sounds rubbish

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

It's MINT
or rather slightly salty.
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Innit

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

Flid Boxing
noon all, I'm at home with tea because I'm being lazy today and not working.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

:(
I want to do that.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Flid boxing?
Would you be any good?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

No, being at home.
I'd be marvellous, my arms are normal. Ish.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

sounds fucking great to me

(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Almost as amusing as wheelchair hurdles
I can't work out if that would be funnier with ramps or crash helmets.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

stunt
wheelchairs! They jump through fiery hoops and over crocodile filled ponds. Fucking A!
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 14 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

This I like
You're getting a click for that!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

At any point will it involve me saving the world?

(

WHARRGARBL, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I've not read it,
does it have dave benson phillips in it?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I'm playing football manager.
I don't need any other games.
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Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

This
And Trackmania for when I just need to blast.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 14 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Does it have identical cheerleader twins?
If not, I'm out.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

I think if we pushed we could get identical cheerleading dave benson phillips twins

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

This is what telly needs. Plus gunge.

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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

i think you'd have a problem finding people both willing to appear on tv and yet unwilling to drink any of those substances undiluted

(

well, Thu 14 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Alright then, if there were one company you could simply have removed from existance for shitty customer service
Who would it be?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

BT.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

^This.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

^that

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

^t'other.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

3 mobile
No witty comments to make, they are just hopeless, hopeless cunts
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

I have yet to deal with them
Although they are my provider
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

^ this, very much

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

Versace.
Terrible shop girls.

*I generally receive excellent customer service.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

I feel I should make a remark about this
but I can't think of anything
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

It was an outlet store, calm down.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

I like Versace. It is my favourite clothes stuff.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

I like a lot of their stuff
but the girls that work in their shop nearest me are really snotty bints.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Go in there and place a turd on the counter then say,
"There, now you have something to stick your nose up at".
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

I might just do that.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Royal Mail.

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LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

M F

If they kept the same mailman to the same route for even a month it might be a half decent service
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

I've just applied for a job with them
so the service will improve DRAMATICALLY.
If they hire me, that is. Otherwise it'll stay shit.
(

wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 14 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Hydro Electric

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

We moved to Eon
Im still not sure if that was a great move or not

Doesnt seem to stop british gas claiming we are with them though...
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

3
I got sucked in by the cheap deals etc, I have never had so much trouble with any other company.
Now back with Vodafone who are only slightly better.
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

Vodafone are complete cunts.
They ripped me off for months until I could cancel my contract, then started harrassing me when I cancelled it.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

I've been with a few providers
These seem the best of a bad bunch
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

I've moved onto Orange PAYG.
It's loads better.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

I've never ever had a problem with 3.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

The Utility Warehouse.

(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

PEELY EELS customer support line

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GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

"Peely eels, how may I help you?"
"yes, hello, My name is Rick and I've got a problem with my Peely eels"
"ok sir, how can I help"
"my peely eel isn't peeling easily"
"HAH'
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Orange.
Customer service is just shite. I write to the CEO now whenever I have a problem as that's the only way it gets sorted.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Orange is the only company who I have always had excellent customer service from
They are always very helpful to me.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

Not for me.
They fucked me over by telling me I had free unlimited texts. When my bill came through, they had been charging me.
Complained to them, they apologised but said they could do nothing. Told me I'd have free texts as of next month.

Did I fuck.

They refused to waiver or discount my bill and as I was unemployed at the time, it really fucked me over with my bank.

Wrote to the CEO, three days later they gave me £200 for the bills and free texts.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

Wow that is crap

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Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

fuck that, I'd be cussing somebody right quick

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

same here
I've found Orange support excellent
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

Barclays

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Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

Argh!
they were such a pain when i paid off my c/card with them

bastards
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

+1
Fucking bunch of bastards, blocked my card 3 times now because spending £2 a day on lunch is considered an unusual spending habit...
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

here where I work
I'm a right cunt
(

DrPoppers Touched by his noodly appendage, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

I'm not a fan of FUCKOFFYOUUSELESSCUSTOMERCUNTS plc

their automated phone system is very complicated
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

I'd just like to get rid of bitchy customers, please.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

Woolworths.
Oh wait.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

Sky
I hate them with a passion. I will never go back.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 14 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

what is the one thing in your daily life that annoys you the most?
part from people like me asking stupid questions. personally, i resent getting up at 5.30 cos my lolnoninternetgirlfriendyesreally does
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

wading through all the corpses stuck in man traps and pits on my front lawn to get to the deathcopter
I've given up polishing my shoes
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

Getting up or going to work. Both are equally gash.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

You're gash.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

your gash

(

Lightguy hail satan, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

ym gash

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

that reminds me
I havent asked after her vagina in ages
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Because I'm something you'll never experience
or because I spend a lot of time in pants?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

Because you taste suspect.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

You've never tasted me, you liar, you've never had that much money.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

I paid your wife to let me do it.
I'm richer than you think.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

As if he'd defy me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Well, to be fair to him,
He thought you'd never find out.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

You're an awful rotter, Mottykins.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

I know,
I should really have that looked at by a doctor.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

Everyday, when I get a stonking erection on the underground
and everytime I turn round it's like the Marx brothers trying to carry a plank of wood.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

In other news, during the comic book convention I went to in March
I invited people to draw a panel for a "pass it on" comic book. I put the results up here:
www.eddegg.com/misc/thing.html

Guess which panel Weebl drew.
(Also features panels from Eddsworld, Wonchop, HappyHarry and a bundle more. Oh and me.)
May be considered NSFW for the sweary bits and sketchy-looking bodyparts.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

:D found it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

Oh my!

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

I obviously don't know enough about Weebl to work out which one is his.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

The one that isn't actually done by Jonti.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

I looked closer this time.
It's quite obvious now.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

Because it has the site written on it?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

Yeah.
I totally didn't even notice that frame when I first looked.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

To be fair, I was looking for it.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

Going on the bus.
I find of partly amusing but mostly gross and irritating.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I love being on the bus
I get to listen to my music.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

""THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND?"
oops/ bloody mini laptop keybpoards. apologies for caps.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Have you ever encountered crazy singing woman?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

J
M
G
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

cock tuesday

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

Lunch threads

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:52, archived)

ym

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

I'm lvl 25 now,
I'm going to catch you up.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

Driving my missus to work.
Turns my 10 minute journey into an hour long one.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

*whip crack noises*

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

She does excuse me from preparing her lunch every 3rd wednesday as a reward.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:51, archived)

you have to stop to have sex 120 times?

(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Why doesn't she give you a lift and then take the car, then?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Because not everyone drives?

(

SuperMatt, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

I don't, I was wondering if that was the case.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Because she works in the city centre where parking is stupidly expensive.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

People on the tube
Especially in the mornings.
THERE IS NO ROOM MATE, STOP MAKING IT MORE UNCOMFORTABLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE.
Today's train journey had me bent over backwards against one of the pads at the side that are supposed to make it move comfortable. It did not.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

sorry matt
p l
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

i can sympathise

(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

It only happened this morning because someone was ill on the train
IF YOU FEEL A LITTLE PEEKY, STAY THE FUCK OFF WORK.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

Stupid drivers
Yesterday I got stuck behind a fucking tractor because I made the mistake of deciding to go home via the country roads. Grr.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:46, archived)

Well that's what you get on country roads.
And they can't go very fast. So it's not their fault.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Doesn't mean I can't get annoyed at them
Plus there should be a rule for tractors driving around at rush hour like there is for oversized trucks.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:54, archived)

No, there shouldn't.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Shut up, you blithering idiot.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

So, has the little 'un performed his first rape then?
They say like father like son.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

You see, what im trying to say is...no hold on
You know already...
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

You sad bastard.
You have to resort to insulting an infant.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

I think you misread
The insult is firmly at mr Dedd

But then, i suppose its a bit much to expect one of your lot to read beyond... well, even the most basic signage.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Wouldn't Esme show you her tits on webcam then?
It seems to be the general reason for you getting upset with women on the internet...
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

He's jealous because they're nicer than his.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

Oh look, Mykey's resorting to casual racism.
There's a surprise.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

I for one have never seen you refer to the british in anything but respectful terms

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

Yeah, it's not like they have a business to keep going or anything.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Oh calm down the pair of you
Am I going to have to start following Mongy and put a disclaimer on every post?!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

Warning: May contain a personal opinion
May cause terrible upset to a variety of people or cliques.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

~~personal~~

n idiotic
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Perhaps
But if that were an issue noone would be allowed to post anything here, least of all myself
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

+ not completely serious

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

You only ever say it's not completely serious
after everyone has told you what an idiot you are.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

It's the IDIFTL defence.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

Well, maybe people should learn that I'm never serious
And then perhaps I wouldn't need to explain it.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

I just don't think you have the mental capacity to be anything other than totally earnest.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

Pair?
You've either got me or Brayndedd on ignore.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Me.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Don't be silly.
We all know that there are some road users who are more important than others, and all road users should yield to these people.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

There's a general consensus round here that that they wont clog up the major routes during rush hour
But the little lanes are fair game - they need to keep their businesses going.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

They don't bother me that much
I spent most of my life living in the country, I'm used to them. This one was just going ridiculously slow and there was a massive queue of cars behind it.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

He should have pulled over
it's the polite thing to do.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

My interpretation of country road would lead me to believe that it would be difficult for a tractor to pull over often.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Passing places, gates, field entrances - there are a few places.
/lives in the sticks.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Falling asleep while wanking
I feel cheated.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:47, archived)

and worthless.
me too. it's the ultimate rejection.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

My flatmate walking past the bin in order to leave used teabags on the worktop.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

May I ask why (s)he thinks that is a good plan?
Or do you not know?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

My job.
It's annoying as fuck. At least they have the decency to pay me for it.
(MSB Load universe into cannon. Aim at brain. Fire., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:56, archived)

My housemate, Sunderland.
He's the least convincing excuse for a human being ever.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

People on their Blackberrys
not watching where they're going and walking into everything.

Just heard a strange portion of a conversation... 'Bummed, several times'
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

I once overheard this gem
"I don't know what she's so upset about it was only a titwank"
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

police interrogations

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

I've just answered QOTW
I didn't feel much like lying, so I didn't
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

just to confuse people and make them think it's Friday
www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue378/
(

rob, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

A cunning plan.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Silly rob.
It isn't bank holiday tomorrow.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

This makes me happy
As I am not near the interweb tomorrow
(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Much like Jesus,
in these modern times, the internet is always with you.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

The everpresent holy trinity of internet
The Broadband/Cable, The Wi-Fi and The Dongle
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

Not in Brean Sands it's not
that I am aware of. Also, it's a bit difficult to browse whilst playing netball...
(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

whats going on?
what? why? I don't understand?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

It is friday though.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Confusing indeed
My QOTW answer newslettered as well!

Woo!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Congratulations!

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Thanks!

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

Oooh
You were in James Watson! I was, too!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

Nearly....
I was in Trafalgar, just across the road.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

I don't get the reference to 2 girls 1 cup in that rubberduckzilla thing

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

Good day, people of /talk
My question to you this afternoon is:

If you were to chaperone a member of QOTW around /talk for the day, who would it be and why?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

I'd have that lovely chickenlady.
I hear she's a very cheap date.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Just how I likes 'em

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

What, 12 and dosed up with Rohypnol?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

no, cheap.
Like YOUR MUM.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Spangleface or gums or shoes or blue star.
Because they're all very nice.

I would say Wormulus, but he'd get annoyed with me insisting that he had a jazz soundtrack everywhere and trying to buy him several trilbies and getting him to narrate his movements in a gruff voice.

edit: oh, QOTW. Whoops.

None of them, I don't know any.

I nmust learn to read at some point.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

I can't really think of any members of qotw.
Oh I know, that internet-self-diagnosed autistic one who's slept with hundreds of gorgeous women, become bankrupt then won all his money back in exchange for some magic beans then been to space. Him.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Fuck, that's me.

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

Sounds more like
Richard Branson to me.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

I don't really know any members of QOTW.
So I'll stay at home, flicking myself off to Tricia.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

I happily post on QOTW and /talk
but Pooflake would have to be mine, his awful puns and neverending stream of filth would amuse me greatly.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Rachelswipe.
She's actually quite nice and has been very helpful to me in the past.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

She gave me excellent legal council (sp?)
when I had a problem with a certain builders merchant.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Hello mate :)
May I be first to say FUCK OFF BACK TO QOTW... but seriously it's easy enough here, provided they don't feel the compulsion to lie about their lunch.
(

mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Today I am having
lunch with three page 3 girls. I may just not bother to eat anything and just shag them all.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Thanks matey
Long time no speak.

I've been lurking here a while and I've quite enjoyed it. We've started lying about our lunch lately too. I fully blame JMG for this.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

The old broken record himself?
I lurk here most of the time these days. I popped out the woodwork to say hello to you.
(

mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

Haha, he's quite amusing
Al has claimed that JMG is actually an alter-ego of Legless. I'd bet a small amount of money on him being an alter-ego of some regular.

Thanks for popping out, I must arange a bike related shindig near Epping sometime with you and DiT.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

No you misunderstood
I didn't think he is actually Legless, it's just he ended a post with "cheers". So I made an internet in joke.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Yes we will sort something, and I'll probably bring my brother along too when he gets back from Uni.
I reckon cr3 could quite easily make an automated JMG post generator and we'd be none the wiser.
(

mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

Sound idea
There are a lot of MTBing b3tans.

I've just bought me a new Marin 140 which is begging to be thrashed... DiT has a brand new Spesh Hardrock too.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

Excellent decision, though I must say Marin's product line is getting a little confusing these days.
It used to be "adjustable mid-travel" "short-travel XC" and hardtails. Now there's all sorts of stuff, and its bloody confusing that for 09 you could buy about 3 grades of Mount Vision...
(

mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

Yeah...
It's kind of logical on their website. Their bikes are divided into 100mm, 120mm, 140mm and 160mm flavours with varying spec for each platform.

They do some nice hardtails too.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I think its because I actually liked reading their catalogues, and the 09 one is really confusing.
Plus, it doesn't help that they keep certain names, but change the type of bike they put them on (like the B17 used to be a dual-sus downhill bike circa 2000, but they cnaged it to a long-travel-forked hardtail). I need to stick with the times.

Anyway, my shopping list features an Orange P7 Pro. I want a steel hardtail so bad :)
(

mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Automated JMG
Now THAT is a brilliant plan. You should put that idea in bug requests.

C'mon cr3...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

That one with the tits.
/ac
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

i don't mind really, i'm not sure what i could use to guide someone around the forum anyway, you probably do, or don't
no offence, great

i'd best be going now, catch you later forum users, brill
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Apparently Winehouse is going to do a series of old Norse songs in her own inimitable style.
The first one is called Valhallarie.
(

Malchick, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

YOUR GAY

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

I think you misheard 'Nautical' as 'Norse'
her first song is 'Ahab'
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

A white whale took Ahab's leg and he said
no no no.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

YES,

(

Malchick, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

no no no

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Oh fucking hell
How are you you massive bender?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

Alright ta.
How's you, fuckface? Got any money on Belgium?
(

Malchick, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

I'm alright ta.
No. No money on Belgium because they didn't qualify. Sadface, OFFLINE. I'd quite like Norway to win because it's a fucking boss song.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Eurovision is so exciting

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Semi finals tonight.
YES.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

I know
I think I might be going out though - eep!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

she is a talented young lady, and has got numerous fans of her music, i'm not to keen on the drug taking aspect of her lifestyle but i'm sure she has her reasons, i won't judge her over it, not my place
brill
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

How many people have got annoyed at your posting then?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

i hope nobody, no offence intended
i will be going soon anyway, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

Is this leading up to a non-angry and polite flounce?
You're a trend setter Mongy.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

I'm looking forward to personalised
messages apologising for why he's flouncing.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

What?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I'm looking forward to personalised
messages apologising for why he's flouncing.

did you get it that time?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

Almost, keep going...

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

I'm looking forward

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

to personalised messages

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

apologising for why he's flouncing.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Any good? Or should I try rephrasing it?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

No, I'm just wasting your time.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Doh!
Now I feel really silly. Can I call you a cunt and flounce now?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

If you like!
Don't forget to call me childish, and mention how grown up you are.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

That's such a childish response!
I'm going to be all mature and superior to you somewhere else now.
Cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

forum banter, great stuff
no i have to go to another building and will have no internet, still, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

I might go outside.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

it's nice outside, unless you are an agrophobic, in which case i ment no offence, you have my sympathy, not my pity, that would be wrong, possibly
cool
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

a man from the present day discovers an alley way
which brings him back in time to the east end of London during WW2
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

That's Bigamy!

(

Malchick, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

YAY

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

did he, wow, great

(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Aww you're not even playing your own game now.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

You shit.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Okay, question times
Exams are breathing down my neck for the 5th year running, and I've barricaded myself in with various supplies, but I'm going to need more

What is your weapon of choice when it comes to revision food and why?
(Red Bull and Pot noodles not allowed)
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

I don't do exams as I am a grown up, after a fashion.
And to prove it I will now go to the pub to eat some food and drink some beer. Imagine that!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Whisky, women and kebabs
all at the same time.
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Ask a better question.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Alphabetti-Spaghetti
You just spell out whatever it is you want to learn and eat it. INSTANT KNOWLEDGE
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

As far as I recall, I think I was going through a ryvita and brie period.
Either that or nothing but yoghurt, black coffee and cigarettes.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

urgh, period with cereal and cheese?
lumpy :-(
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

If you're any older than 12 you should be fucking ashamed of yourself.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Come on, remember where you are.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

You make a good point.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Is there really an obligation
to act like a twat, JUST because 'everyone else here does so it's okay?'

Edit: not calling you a twat, just an observation on why I feel justifying an obtuse response as "because everyone else does" is wrong
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

I see you're upset because I suggested your post was shit.
Feel free to stay angry at me for a day or two, posting little unimportant ramblings in response to any posts I make.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

see edit above.
I'm not angry, I just think it's a little silly.
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Diddums.
Now, fuck off.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

What?
Don't be a cunt, grow up and get some fucking manners you arrogant tosser.
I asked an innocent question, in no way did it warrant a shitty response and it certainly didn't require your adolescent response to a grown-up observation.
Wanker
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Girls, girls
you're both such lovely girls. Don't fight. If you do, fight nice, with pillows and jim jams.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

I've even got white socks that I push down lie they're ankle socks.
*sexy*
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

Give us a twirl, love.
*takes a nice big drag on her soggy Embassy number one and scratches under her string vest*
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

It's far too early in the day for me to be upsetting people, what's going on?
I shouldn't even be out of bed yet.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Shut up, if I'm up you all have to be.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

*goes back to bed to spite you*
I SO WIN!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

You cunt.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

~~jim~~ raspberry
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Not enough people watch Black Books.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Or even better
with pillows but no jim jams.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

pfft
Score!
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

hahaha
Nice wobble, you big tart
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

You can't be silly on b3ta.
This is a SERIOUS place.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

*facepalms*
urgh sometimes I hate this place. Other times it makes me laugh.
This is one of those times when I do both.
(

Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

I'm calling him a twat.
Trouser you twat.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

Can you imagine, if someone did actually piss on your chips?
/ac
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

It would be my lucky day

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

I'd get my little wooden fork
and lever their eyes out with it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:11, archived)

a lethal dose of decent coffee
it's my answer to everything
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

Mountain Dew
They were selling it when I was revising, and it's amazing.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

I think Dante totally missed a trick
not having "You like, totally, have to wear braces" as one of his circles of hell.

What's your favourite Folk song.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

oooof difficult question.
I quite like Mayflower May by Marissa Nadler.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

The Blacksmith
By Steeleye Span
(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

^ This
Also Boys Of Bedlam, King Henry and Parcel of Rouges all by Steeleye.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Beeswing by Richard Thompson.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

Thompson FTW!
Withered and Died.
(

Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

I don't really know many, if any, folk songs
I'm sorry. I shouldn't take up your time like this.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

i'm the same, do you think it would cause offence if we had a sub-thread about something we do know?
mind you i've probably presumed too much with the suggestion anyway, no offence, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Yeah it would offend people too much
We should be more meek
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

My ex wife was a folky.
Consequently I equate all that finger in the ear shite with paranoid middle aged women. She made me go and see the Dubliners :(
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

Is that a euphemism
for her straddling your face, gripping you with her meaty thighs and queefing in your mouth so hard your ears whistled ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

Not usually.
But if it works for you then it's fine by me.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

*click*

(negative armadillo There never was much hope..just a fool's hope., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

My ex's Mum was much the same, warbling in the local pub to a lute and a drum
The only thing I know about folk music is therefore drunk Scottish women who make their own skirts and candles.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

I used to enjoy going to folky clubs
Sometimes they had something interesting with strange instruments. More often than not it was an open mic night with some cunt singing Gaude Te with everyone joining in. Grim.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

This is very true
As a young bloke going to folk club I pretty much get ignored while everyone else badly croons along with the same songs they have sat and played for the last 30 years.

I just get some mates together at mine with a few beers and we play for a couple of hours. Much more fun.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

There's a woman around here who built her own harp from aluminium
She does a turn at the pub from time to time and that's quite good fun. Mainly it's earnest beards making whooping noises to some dullard on the northumbrian pipes.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

That sounds ace
An aluminium harp. I just hate the earnest, worthy, folkies who sing songs about fishing and how awful the mines were, really meaning it when they have never been near a boat or a mineshaft.

That and they reject the idea that folk music can be modern. As Leadbelly said when asked if he played folk music 'all music is folk music 'cos it is played by all kinds a folks'
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

when i first heard of the dubliners
i wasn't sure whether they were going to be irish folk or stoned reggae (on a boat)
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

I think they're mainly a collection of beards
And one has a drum
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

i bet they use dublinux

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Strewth
4/10
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

it wasn't a joke :(
(well, i added the on-a-boat bit)
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

Yes
It's fairly successful as a non-joke. Well done.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

i'm a winner

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

You are indeed
Hurrah :)
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

i'm not really one to judge, sorry
no offence, smashing
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

he's being nice,
just let him get it out of his system
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

I don't trust it
It's weird and unfamiliar.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

I'm too full of pathetic self loathing to think of one
I just loaded up the 360 to check and see if a film had finished downloading, and idiotically pressed play on the film so it now expires in 24 hours. Fuck's sake. I don't have fucking time to be watching fucking films.

FUCK.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:40, archived)

duhhh

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

FUCK YOU ILLY
Fucking running time is fucking 131 fucking minutes too, so there is no way I'll have time to watch it if I don't watch it right now.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

tomorrow morning?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Doubt I'll be up before ten if I'm not hungover, and it would expire halfway through watching it then.
Bugger. And even if I do watch it now I'll be late for the fucking gym. ARGH.

Right, I'm offskies, going to go make the most of the £5 I paid for stupid Casino Royale in HD. Are there any tits in it? I've never seen tits in HD. Ah well, Daniel Craig's package should look impressive no doubt.

AU REVOIR PEOPLE WHO AREN'T AS STUPID AS ME xxx
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

no tits,
as far as I remember.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

*thinks about jiggling tits*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

Get a video camera and film the telly.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

YOU PIRATE!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

Yeah, don't act like it doesn't get you all frothed up.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

have you got a vhs you could run it into?
i know you lose HD goodness, but it's better than a poke in the eye
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

i belive that was sonys ad campaingn when the format war raged 'vhs better than a poke in the eye'
only kidding, sony are a massive electronics company and would have employed the correct staff to market the product vhs, no offence to any people at sony, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Over the hills and far away (George Farquhar version)

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

i like the one where the worms go crawling down your snout
be merry my friends!

or something like that. i'd google the title, but i'm relishing the vagueness of my answer
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

I fell in a puddle of you and got love all over me

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

Too hard to choose one but if pushed...
All of John Martyn's 'Solid Air' album, particularly the title track. It is a masterpiece, he died recently which really upset me.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

Martyn and Solid Air FTW!
As well as Thompson
(

Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

House Carpenter by Pentangle
or something of Bert Jansch's, maybe Rosemary Lane.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

Ooh, wait, or May You Never, John Martyn
or Carnival, Jackson C Frank.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

Yes!
John Martyn is amazing and rarely gets the mainstream exposure a musician like he deserves.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

is was
~~deserves~~ deserved
:(
(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Also Small Hours is the best John Martyn track FACT

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

It does kind of mark the start of his descent
into constant electro-wankery though. Not that there wasn't some great electro-wankery too. Some People and Sweet Little Mystery off Grace and Danger in particular ("GAH - Collins!!!" aside)
(

Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

I can't believe you left May You Never to your second post.
*shuns*
*relurks*
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I always forget he's a folkie.
Come to that, Only Living Boy in New York. Or half of the Dylan and Cohen covers probably count.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Oh shucks
well I just don't know.

Edit: I totally had to wear braces. It wasn't that bad. *represses memories*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

You have some folk winging your way
It is on my random burn.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

Noice

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

Greedy greedy multi-chooser:
May You Never - John Martyn
Three Hours - Nick Drake
Light Flight - Pentangle
Wishing Well - Bert Jansch

Oh so many more too. They're all only demi-folk though (except maybe the Jansch).

Hang on, Danny Thompson played double bass on all these albums. He just makes everything good.
(

Throat And Ice Pie I see dem tatties dere., Thu 14 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Hello /talk
I had my braces off yesterday! 10 months of hell is finally over!

How're you? Has anything particularly good happened to you lately?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

I had sex last night
with your mum
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

After me.
sorry about the mess.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

ZZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

wotcher gramps.
how's yer angina?
:P
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I haven't got one of those.
Still in a bit of pain, waiting for the fuckers to sort me out. Still Can't complain, I've got loads of work in the office and the band is doing quite well now. We have a new drummer and he ain't half good.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

they can rebuild you. they have the technology.
It's probably tax deductable too.
sorry for not being at the bash.
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

How's your stone, has it made an appearance at all?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

*pokes*
it is alive...
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

yep. sorry Jude.
how's poppy? happy with her hippy replacement? lolrofl etc *hug*
(

Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

I made my dojo competition squad.
I saw Andrew Bird last night

I'm going to mid-wales tonight to climb on Friday, bike ride on Saturday and climb again on Sunday.

Apparently some girl(s) fancies me.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

It's me in a wig.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Are you Alex or Lorna?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Her. The second one. Defo her.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

pretty handy on a trumpet then?
SERVES AN ADVANTAGE.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

My fingering has to be seen to be believed.
It has been known to reduce grown men to tears.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

Blimey! I can't wait until we duet.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Nice

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

I'm quite pleased.
Are you?
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

I'm ecstatic for you!

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

I was questioning whether you were suitably pleased by having the braces removed, rather than your general feeling towards my good fortune.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

I know, I know
Yes, I'm pleased. My teeth still look odd due to having a bottom jaw still fucked, but they're straight, white as fuck and feel smooth!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

I am glad.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

I hope it's a real life girl not an internet girl.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

2 real life girls
one from swimming
one I've known for years but apparently she's only just 'seen me' according to her friends.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

good work,

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

what can I say, other than apparently some girls fancy the 'tramp' style

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

There's no accounting for taste eh,
it's always nice to have someone find you attractive, however because I'm a brainwrong that usually puts me right off them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

this happens to me too
but I think I can cope with it this time.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

I will only give this "fancying" 3/10
untill you've got both of them to simultaneously fellate you and sent me photographic proof.

Then I'll give it a 9 (Unless either of both of them is Moohaalaa)
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

SEXY! (:

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

Mid wales TUTT
I'll be climbing up in the Meirionnydd

although Meirionnydd is more North Wales it's just the real mid wales has nothing in it and southern North Wales is still fairly civilised.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

I might run off to Abersoch again.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

give me a shout, I might join* you again.
*if you want me to or don't mind.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

I don't know when or how or anything.
but if i make specific plans i'll let you know
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

smashing, make it the hottest days of the year again
and I'll try and make sure there are waves, and less jellyfish
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

I dont want sunburn again! ):

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I will bring an umbrella

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I'm getting a 360 for my birthday.
I'm excited as a fat kid hearing the unmistakable chimes of 'greensleeves'.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

When is yours?
I got a fucking keyring light thing for mine!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

20th. Same as baldmonkey's

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

Aaaah
Mine was the 10th. I'm 22 now :(
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

mrs me got a gerber mini-leatherman tool, as i was too skint for anything impressive
it's actually the most awesome thing and i wish i'd kept it for myself
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

do do, dah dum de da dum de da!
It's like 2 weeks and a day until my Birthday, May is an excellent birthday month.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

I wholeheartedly agree!

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

All the cool kids' parents had sex in September.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

Too right lovely GMoS

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

FOUR DAYS! \o/

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

GOSH, THAT'S GOOD, I'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOUR BRACES

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:58, archived)

DID YOUR TROUSERS FALL DOWN LOL!!!!11111

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

*comedy trombone*

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

Oooh! SEXY!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

I ran over a dog on my way to work
one of those disabled ones with wheels at the back.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

if you'd hit it head on
you could have rolled it all the way to the office
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

I am about to apply for a job
This certainly means I will get it as I am pinning all my hopes on it.
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:00, archived)

Once I get my new HC2 I can get some new retainers
my wisdom teeth have totally come out so I cant wear them and I should be ):
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

How much are retainers?
Mine was all free at the hospital, and I got them shortly after turning 21.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

I don't know. I got mine when I was 17.
I know that going to the dentist for a check up is almost £20. fuck that.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

I got tonnes of cool loot for my birthday.
And a friend of mine had spare tickets to see The Specials. I'm going tomorrow night. YAY.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

What are you getting me?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

What did you get me?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

YEY!
take lots photos and boogie. that's what the cool kids do.. (;
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

I shall boogie.
Not too sure about the pics though.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I read that as "The Spangolins".
I've been on here too long.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

OH SURE!
Reply to everyone else but not me!
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

i bet you didn't get a bat-shaped uglydoll
that'd be the coolest thing to get
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

OMG!
I totally DID get one of those!
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Are the commas in the right place in this sentence? My brain has turned to mush and I can't concentrate on punctuation any more.
"Postmodern literature seeks to examine the modes of being of literature and books, the ways in which seemingly concrete patterns and rules of genre and structure have evolved and can be altered and, recognising that we exist in an age of lost innocence where creation ex nihilo has become an impossibility, how these established genres can be manipulated to one’s own end and played with in order to highlight oversights perceived by postmodern writers in the texts they seek to rewrite."

I'll be a lot happier in 19 days.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:02, archived)

I got two words into that, looked ok up to then

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

cheers ok forum banter great
no offence
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

if you were a bloke I'd say you're in dire need of a blowjob right now

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

I would say it needs splitting up into several sentences. It's awfully long.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

It makes me look cool and academic, no?
No it doesn't. Oh dear.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

Long sentences are good in academicky stuffs
It make good. Me like.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

if I were you
I'd shout "PISSHOLES TO THIS BOLLOCKS" then go and get drunk right now
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

My new t-shirts arrived in the post yesterday
I am now wearing one saying 'I hate waking up'. I'm LOLARIOUS, me.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

everyday is a good day, nice life, great people, happy times
smart
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

No.
Now the heads of my screws are all ruined. :(
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

S:

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

don't worry too much, screws are normally inexpensive, unless i suppose you are on a really tight budget and any un expected expense is one you can ill afford
if so , no offence, ok
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

That's some impressive disclaimer there.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

I just found out I passed my most recent OU assignment and did better than I have before. Gives me a boost for this final big one.
Yay!
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Congratulations and your current and no doubt future academic acheivement, :)
*high fives*
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

Thank you :)
Still early days in terms of the whole degree but I'm really pleased anyway.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

well done to you, i'm sure it will set you in good spirits to acheive the standard required for completion of the next one
unless of course it doesn't, in which case, don't worry, or do, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6148082
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

Well done pet.
My essay is coming together nicely and then I'll have finished coursework and just have exams to worry about.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

I have cold hands.
But yes, good things. I discovered yesterday after an update, that my 360 is not just an overpriced dvd player. Forced man to play GTA IV through to the finale missions, which is good because he got bored four missions before the end set about a year ago, and I really want him to finish it. Might pressure him into it on Sunday. Muahaha.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

you could try putting your hands somewhere warm, like a pocket, but maybe you have no pockets and like having cold hands, it's not for me to say really
good stuff, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:37, archived)

FUCKING STOP IT!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

this week's been a mixture of promise and unpromise
promise: done loads of DIY, had several people wave contract work at me, fixed an AMAZINGLY obscure bug, got new phone (gold stars and cups of tea to you), randomburn is beginning, planted loads of plants, had a picnic, gig on saturday, pet insurance paid out £1500

unpromise: the dog had another spack, phone companies are awkward, i'm developing insomnia, no-one's ACTUALLY given me a contract yet

unemployment is EVENTFUL
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

Can someone recommend some free gif animating software?
I realise that this post tedious and irritatingly dull, so in an effort to spice it up TITS WILLY BOOBS WANG BUM GONADS CAT FISH BOGLIN..
(

Badgerfish falling out of the lurk, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

I uses mygens
www.myspacegens.com/handler.php?gen=animatedimage
It's OK for up to 50 frames.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

~~gens~~ penis
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

That too.
But I fail to see how this would be useful in this situation. Maybe to inspire I suppose.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

i already tried using my penis
doesnt help but is quite fun
(

Badgerfish falling out of the lurk, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Seriously, try that one.
It lets you edit, adjust time of frames and it is a piece of piss to use.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

ta
ta
(

Badgerfish falling out of the lurk, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

This was
49 frames. I did it on that one. I'm not too good at it yet but I'm getting betterer.
b3ta.com/board/9431699
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

~~ygs~~
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

Bloody ninja:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

fff

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:52, archived)

Doesn't gimp animate?
After effects. I don't know.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

that would be nice lemme check
:)
(

Badgerfish falling out of the lurk, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

It does
But you need to download GAP (Gimp Animating Package) as well as Gimp
(

CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

It all comes in the same package now if you are using Windaz innit

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Go to download.com and search for freeware there.
I think I got AniMagic from there. It was all in forrin but it worked at least.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

I can't

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:50, archived)

Who's the chap in the lobsterskates?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

me.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

Thought so.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:54, archived)

what have I done?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:55, archived)

Animated yourself?
I'm not annoyed at you, if that's what you're thinking. I think you're a lovely wizzum.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:56, archived)

I feel guilty for something.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

Have you been horrid about me behind my back?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:57, archived)

no that was me

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:59, archived)

I expect nothing better.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

no.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:01, archived)

Well then you're probably alright.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

yes you can
you're just not trying
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:53, archived)

(((3nlarge Your ManStick)))‏

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:51, archived)

Stupid technology.
There's a stupid red light when I pull the trigger on this stupid screwdriver power tool thing and the trigger won't depress, as such it won't turn on.

Stupid stupid stupid.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

Don't you have a man handy?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

MORE THAN AN EELING
MORE THAN IN EALING
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

It's either out of battery or there's some sort of saftey lock
LOOK AT ME BEING ALL HELPFUL!
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

Does it have both fwd and reverse? If so, maybe you have the selection button in between the two, instead of having either fwd or reverse fully selected.
(

enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

No no I've pushed the button in fully in either direction.
It won't turn on either clockwise or anticlockwise. And it's fully charged, or at least, it's been on charge for a few hours.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

shout at it.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

is the giggling pin correctly engaged in the laughing sprocket?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

Does it have a safety catch?

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

how can you pull the trigger
and then say the trigger won't depress?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

Well I pull it in about half a millimetre.
By pull I mean I push it in and it does nothing.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:43, archived)

have you tried using a hand screwdriver.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

it IS a hand screwdriver now

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:45, archived)

for a job like that I'd use a hand screwdriver anyway.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

when you pull the trigger a red light comes on and you can't pull the trigger?
i'm sure i'm misreading that
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

pork faggots?
/ac
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:44, archived)

Pull the battery out and flip the fwd and reverse back and forward while trying to depress the trigger
(

enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:46, archived)

And it doesn't have a removable battery :(
/Is an idiot
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:49, archived)

Have you checked there is water in it. Are you sure it isn't a iron?
or a kitten or something
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:47, archived)

Oh! OH!
Oh wait, no, of course, it's an iron. I forgot.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:48, archived)

I really like you /talkers
I don't know why I lurked so long around /board

I don't really have a question for you to discuss so feel free to just call me a cunt for posting this

EDIT: No! I got one. I am having some more work on my tattoo this afternoon, do you have a tattoo?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

Oh /talk
my mother in law has been rushed to hospital in a serious condition and I am sat here like a lost lemon posting about it on the internet because I can't go as I have to stay and look after the kids. ARRRRRRRRGH
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:29, archived)

You could do my ironing
That should keep your little girly brain happy.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

oh no, i hope it all works out ok, i'm sure the doctors, who are hard working dedicated individuals will use there medical knowledge to treat her
although some doctors seem to be abit inept, but that's not really the thing, no offence, cool
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

Just stop it now.
You've gone too far.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

it's /talk it's ok
I expected nothing less
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

ok, cool, no problems eh
smashing
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

I'm going to put some wasps down your japs in the hope of stopping this anodyne menace.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

forum banter, good stuff
brill
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Oh man
I could really nip your arm right now.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

It's ok, he'll get bored of it soon.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

Oh hon, how horrible :(
Not much you can do apart from keep busy...Bogus has a fair point about the ironing...
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

Throw yourself into looking after them- now's the time for games and crafts.
Look after yourself, chuck.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:42, archived)

i really like you, that is no big relevation tho as i really like everyone
no offence, great forum, nice
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

You have turned into the host of Jazz Club.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I tried being nice on here for a while,
I only lasted a day.
Well done for keeping it up.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

i did a whole week once, people got upset at me, i ment no offence
great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

BRING BACK RATHEN

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Go on, let it out
call everyone a knobgobbling cuntmonger
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

a bit of forum banter never hurt anybody
unless of course it has, in which case i'm in no way judging, ok
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

I have about 30.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

really?
30 small ones or a whole body suit?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

I have a few medium sized ones
but maily small ones I collected on my travels. I hate them all now and regret all but one of them.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

Ex wife's name?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

this is cool
what is the one you like of?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

It's a pissed mouse
laying with it's feet up in the air, in a Martini glass holding a cocktail stick with a cherry on it with the caption, "BURP!"

EDIT: www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/15052009302.jpg
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

'Get It Here Big Boy' must have hurt.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

regularly I would guess

(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

yes
this. Except it looks nicer now and not as shiny.

What do you have?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:31, archived)

a sleeve, a leg and a dragon on my back
it goes from my right shoulder all the way across my back, left buttock and finishes at the tail somewhere near my right knee
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:33, archived)

You are the serial killer from Red Dragon
AICMFP
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

Am I?
Have I accidently etched myself in a way that suggests I am a nutter?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:38, archived)

The big dragon thing
that's what the baddy in Red Dragon had. Then he went a murdering and got himself shot in the head.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

nice!

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

when it's finished it will be!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:41, archived)

I don't have a tattoo
I draw on myself in biro.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Daaaw well golly gee and shucks.
edit: And I only have one tattoo. It's a blue shooting star across a crescent moon on my left shoulder. I want more tattoos though.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:32, archived)

Just the one
I thought about getting it for about 5 years so I feel I gave it enough consideration.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:34, archived)

less thinking
more action!
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:35, archived)

nah I think there is a lot to be said about understatement
and not covering every inch of available skin with ink. I think tattoos are fairly passé these days.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

what sort of work, monthly budget in excel?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:36, archived)

loft conversion

(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:37, archived)

i'd like a tattoo, but i can't think of anything i'd actually want
well, that's a lie, i'd really like a vine growing up the side of my face, but that's the kind of thing you regret in job interviews and stuff like that
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:39, archived)

well, y'know, just stuff, like, y'know, stuff and things
/ac
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

I have three.
The biggest one, on my upper arm, is going to be turned into a quarter sleeve soon.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:40, archived)

I have 5
2 on my back, my star sign on my arm, a rose on the top of my right foot & a thistle below the ankle on the inside, on the same foot. I want at least 2 more.
(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Thu 14 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I need a poo
this happens to me every day !

When will it end !?!?!?!?!?!?!
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:58, archived)

When you become sick of Bob Todd sitting under you with her mouth open while you go.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

That's a beautiful image right there.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Ewwww

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

Royal Doulton are considering using it for a range of tableware

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

I'd shit in her mouth
in exchange for a go on her tits.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

Is she strumming herself while he drops the kids off?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

Yes
With cacky brown fingers
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

No
She's asexual. Her clit is neglected and unloved, it sits forlorn under a huge blackberry bush.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I'd forgotten about that

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

They wont be ripe till August

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:06, archived)

Do asexual people not wank then?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

What porn would they watch?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Pug

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

Not everyone needs it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

Wooo check out Mrs Wow
Showing off with her "auto-aquaplane" mode.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:15, archived)

All I have to do is hear the first two bars of Ace of Spades

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man
You win some, lose some, it's -all- the same to me....
*watches*
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

Actually that's 4 bars but never mind.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

Point taken, but still what form of sexy inspiration would asexuals use?
Hmm... I must remember to take the bin bags out they're getting a bit whiffy though that might be the bin itself I must make a note to wash that out which reminds me the taps in the kitchen could do with a clean I'll have to pop to the supermarket to get more OH GOD I'M CUMMING!
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

Sitting on something vibraty?
I don't know, I'm a porn person.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

I can cure asexuallity with a quick flash of my nudger.
There would be aquaplaning of rare proportions and girly-gloop everywhere.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 14 May 2009, 10:30, archived)

I think the point of it
is that you dont have any interest in sex, and as wanking is sort of what people do when they want sex but cant get any, I dont see why they would wank.

I wouldnt know, I like sex.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Surely wanking is what you do
when you've got nothing to do in the office for five minutes?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

It's what I do
when my bitches get uppity and they need some respect jizzed back into their hair.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:13, archived)

they do nothing
LITERALLY NOTHING.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

They only have wet dreams
when they reach their 80's and become incontinent.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

~~blackberry bush~~ flaming bush

She's a ginner
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:08, archived)

Blond power, sista!

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:10, archived)

Firebox and PROUD

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:11, archived)

I would describe her as "dull copper" more than "flaming ginge"

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:12, archived)

There's certainly a few dull ginges

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:16, archived)

I've got a few greys now.
I might fall out of this subset.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:27, archived)

*waves*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:19, archived)

Stand on a pouffe or something
He might be able to see you then.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

When your bum falls off.
And at the rate you talk shite, that shouldn't be too long.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

oOoOOoooOOOooOOooooOOOOoooooo!
*clutches handbag in manner of Vic Reeves*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

lol
I NO
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

i've done two already today
i'm mr productivity
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

Make the best of it.
Invite Germans round to watch at £90 a pop.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:00, archived)

I do have a glass dining table
Do I win £5 ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:02, archived)

Can you get more than one ruddy head under it?
If so you win multiples of.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

It's a six seater table
I reckon you could get 7 or 8 germans under it at a push.

Not that I want wanking fat krauts in my dining area.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

Then I would suggest moving the table.
This time next year, Goaty, you'll be a miwwionaire.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:04, archived)

I guess if I could make about £800 per poo
it might be worth it.

Can I charge extra if my bum bleeds a bit ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:05, archived)

I reckon so
then you could whack a sanitary towel between your cheeks for a bit, and sell that on eBanned.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

You just need to wedge a glass jar up there.

(

Cawl, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:07, archived)

£80 to watch
£200 to be the "recepticle"
and £400 to reach up and pick your own.

It's a winner.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:14, archived)

Keep the pickled onions in it,
And you can sell 'em afterwards for a tenner a pop.
(

Cawl, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:17, archived)

I know how you can cure this terrible problem

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:20, archived)

Stop eating.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:21, archived)

Or get a colonic every few days

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:25, archived)

i'm not in any position to answer your problem, sorry about that
no offence, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:24, archived)

eat more cheese
and no fibre.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 May 2009, 10:28, archived)

This may have been mentioned before....
but is anyone else overcome with fear at Gordon Brown's illuminous teeth?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

No
it's just you.

because you are a mental.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

it's not paranoia when they REALLY are out to get you...
*pulls duvet up to nose*
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

~~they REALLY are out to get you~~ it's mental retardation
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

I haven't noticed them
too busy looking at the eye.

The fake one.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

I'm also perturbed by his Darth Vader-esque breathing....

(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

The whole package is pretty
terrifying really.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

are you looking for the red light behind it?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

What we really need is someone to
go and slap him on the back of the head, hard.

See if it pops out.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

He doesn't have a fake eye.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

It may not be fake
but it is rubbish.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Yeah, he has shit easily detachable retinas.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Shows how unsuitable he is for political office really
they've got to be able to take a punch.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

He did kicked in the head, in fairness.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

It almost certainly was fair
especially if he was that much of a cunt when he was a young lad.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

Don't ruin my fun.
It pokes off in different directions.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

~~eye~~
cock
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:57, archived)

Overcome with fear?
No. Foreign politics is so much more interesting than British at the moment.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Who's Burlesconi been feeling up this week?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

The press's favourite theory at the moment is that Noemi Letizia is an illegitimate daughter of his.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

The man is an absolute legend.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

There was a great bit on the Today program at 8.55
when a german journalist and an italian journalist were asked if the scandals had damaged teh credibility of british politics, the german said "absolutley, it cannot continue like this" the italian went "nah, not really, it's worse in italy"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

in Italy the politicians own the media
which helps a bit.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Well, one politician owns half the media.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

True
I put my point across clumsily
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

You ARE a marionette...

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

You've never seen me dance.

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

I'm quite pleased about this

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

He has given me so many good things to write about.
I'm writing an essay at the moment about how political scandal affects voter turnout and he's great for it, as is Sarko.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Didn't he refer to a large majority of voters as 'testicles'?
He's brilliant.

I think they referred to him on Have i Got News For You as 'John Prescott, Boris Johnson and Prince Philip rolled into one'
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:49, archived)

you don't get to see them very often

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Nope.
HAI HUBARE.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

hello m'dear
how is your good self? Still living in that England?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Indeed.
I'm alright, seem to be permanently stricken with bad AIDs. Off for bloods in a minute. Still, leaving my job, yay!
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

No,
I'm more worried about the lizard-face he's got hidden behind that man-one.
(

Cawl, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

No.
I watched two horror movies last night. One was barely horror, but the main character had lovely lips, and the other wasn't half bad, but had been filmed in the cinema. In direct contradiction to the point of downloading, I'm going to buy it on blue ray.

The link here is fear.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

No
But, I have never looked at his teeth.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

i can't say i have ever thought about it, now i have thought about it i'm not sure
great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

What Goat said.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

i am usually too overcome with rage at his jaw-slackenings to notice such things
why does he have to belm so much?
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I have to stop looking at the screen after a while because of that.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

i'm glad it's not just me
i'm sure i've got enough irritating mannerisms myself, but that particular one really sets me off. the only other thing to irrationally annoy me that much is the sound of people eating with their mouth open. they're enjoing their food- i should feel happy for them!
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

No you shouldn't
you should be writing a strongly worded letter to their parents outlining how they've obviously failed to instill even the most basic of manners in their cuntsplashes.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

Unless they are Japanese and eating noodles or soup

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

That grates on me as well, even though I know the reasons for it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:45, archived)

imagine the people eating are actually enjoying you cock in their mouths, problem solved
great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

aha!
you have a brand of psychotherapy i just wouldn't get on the NHS
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

nerp
I'm planning costumes.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

If you were to match up b3tans with their celebrity doubles
Who would you match with who and for why?

Obviously my double would be the whale from Free Willy
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Do you mean look-a-likes?
Bogus and Sean from Corrie.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

Clagnuts double is George Clooney
Because they are both cool and awesome and get all the ladies
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

I've been told i'm a dead ringer
for this guy
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

needs moar beard

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Hey Al, now you come to mention it

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

It's why I'm getting a haircut

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

teh new fluffeh al image suits you
It's in stark contrast to your irascible internet persona.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

this could cause internet mischief
hopefully only forum banter, great
(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

Hexachordal = A yorkshire terrier.
A famous one.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

The dog from "Woof"?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

That'll do.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

Baldmonkey and Ade Ed obviously.
Gonz and Jack Osbourne
Wormulus and Charles Hawtrey
Bou and the Sarlacc
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Jack Osborne>
honestly?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

I've never seen him
I just imagine him to be this fat, spotty, specky kid with a big jewfro.

Jack Osbourne BEFORE he went from fat to pudgy and started doing bungie jumps.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

Goatworrier = Comedy Dave/Paul Young

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

*pumps fist*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

I only put paul young to stop you shitting your pants in rage.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

I dont actually look anything like comedy dave

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Me and Catherine Tate.
TUTT and Rosie out of Rosie and Jim.

Edit: I'm a twat, I meant Tilly out of Tot's TV. Her that was French.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

Morning captain
Feeling any better today?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

A leetle- morning!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

I told you that b3ta always breaks when I try to upload a picture of myself
And I hope you feel better before the weekend, it's always bad when illness lasts for the weekend
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

I don't care, I'm only dying my hair and doing laundry...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

All weekend? o_O
Although doing laundry is important, it prevents people having to buy new clothes when they get dirty.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

rob = Karen Matthews.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

gmos does look a bit like rick moranis
despite how much he hates to be told so.

sorry geemo
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

I never understood how the Nazis took so long to Find Anne Frank's house
I've been to Amsterdam, there are signposts for it fucking everywhere.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

She only wanted sympathy and fame, the greedy frigid slutbag.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

*sigh*

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:07, archived)

Buh-doom-tish.
I like Amsterdam. Not just because of the loldrugs reason. The zoo's lovely.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

I wouldn't worry
This will probably be my only new thread today.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

I prefer yours to some.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

Some what ?
Pie ?

Foolish choice if so.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Oh I'm definitely on the side of pie, if I had to choose.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I thought Amsterdam was boring
I'd rate it worse than most European cities I've been to.

To be fair, I dont take OMG LOL DRUGZ or fuck whores.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

it's quite pretty tho
the canals and stuff
(

rob, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Meh

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

It has some historically important galleries.

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Goatworrier doesn't like something.
Excuse me whilst I catch my breath, the shock's winded me a bit.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

pfft

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

I did say
that I would rate Amsterdam lower than other Euro destinations. Thus indicating that I liked other things instead.

Berlin for example is lovely, Barcelona is my favourite, I love being there. Paris is IN MY OPINION hugely overrated though. They can fuck off and fucking die.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

Oh I'm only ribbing you.
I've not been to Barcelona, but I'm sure it's far too hot for me. I'm not good in the heat.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

Go in November
or March.

I went in April and it was lovely warm and sunny without being sweltering. I was in shorts and tees but the spaniards were in overcoats and scarves. It was about 20 degrees.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

That doesn't sound too bad. I'd like to, I'd like to see the architecture.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

The gaudi stuff really amazed me when I first saw it.
I hadnt even heard of him when I first saw the Sagrada and I was in awe of it.

I've been there often enough now that I dont do any touristy stuff, just go there for the vibe and to have fun.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Yeah, that'd be my main reason for going.
Gaudi, I mean.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

Get a taxi to Parc Guell
Walk round there, then walk all the way back to the sea from there.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

WALK?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

Yes, walk, you hideous fat mess.
Walk from the Parc to La Predrera (Or whatever it's called) then to the Sagrada and then down the ramblas to the sea. Have a rest, then wander round the Gothic quarter.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

I'll have to have lots of rests.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

Just blow off at a passing pug
I find that to be very refreshing.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:51, archived)

Oh, you cruel man.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:54, archived)

Berlin is fucking awesome. As is Valencia.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

I liked Valencia
Lisbon is also a nice place. I wasn't impressed with madrid. Too many huge roads and all the buldings looked like banks.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Where else is shit/disappointing in the Gooatworrier Lonely Panet (of the lanky doelful apes)?
/genuinely interested.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Hmmm
Can't think of any other city trip I've done where I was disappointed.

Amsterdam is nice enough, just didnt "pump my nads" paris has some amazing places but the city is too big and the people are too Parisian. Edinburgh was a bit "meh" the people arent scottish enough. The weather is though which sort of made up for it.

Berlin and Palma (Majorca) were the two that really exceeded my expectations. Palma is like a Bonsai Barcelona by a lovely big harbour with a lot of winter sunshine. Great for a sunshine break in November...
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

I haven't been to Majorca since I was a kid, being herded into some hideous kid's club. I do remember palma being nice though.
I didn't know about it being good for winter sun. Might be good for penniless proles like me.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

I will be going to Barcelona this month
I can't wait to try the sauerkraut and bagels.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

Go to El Xampanyet

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

Sounds nice
cheers.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

I'm afraid i have to concur.
the thing is, you can take OMG LOL DRUGZORS and fuck whores anywhere.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

I'd be curious to see how a legal brothel works
and if I were to take drugs I'd want to make sure the law was on my side.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:13, archived)

it's not though.
It's not as if dope is legal in Holland.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

But it may as well be for the majority of people.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

I am so square
I dont even care. I didnt even walk through the red light area.

I didnt even look at womens tits in the street when I was in Amsterdam, I was making a statement.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

Oh my, it's like I don't even know you anymore.
You've changed, man.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:21, archived)

The musuems are good.
If you're into that kind of thing of course...
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 14 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

She was a fucking cunt
They should have gassed her.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

Ya for Clagnut!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

I'm totally stalking you
and you love it
(Goatse not a comedy account, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

I once read there was a staged production of Anne Frank's diary that was so poor that when the Nazis turned up
the audience shouted "she's upstairs!"
(

rob, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:08, archived)

Sutcliffe! Sutcliffe!
You'll never get me in the slammer.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

I truly am so very sorry

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

I hope the actress responded, "Oh no I'm not!"

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Oh the hilarity

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

reading's for gays!

(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

the trouble with anne frank is she is always in the last place you look for her

(

mongychops, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

she's the car keys of the jewish world.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

Its typical jewry
Turn a holocaust situation into a profit.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

I read a book
which demostrated that they orchestrated the Holocaust purely to get a country for themselves.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6147718
(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

LOL
LOLLERS
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

LOLOCAUST !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

LOL! they were like, you know, all stoned and that, like!

(likeajackhammer, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:19, archived)

That's a coincidence.
I said exactly the same thing last Friday at 2310 ;o)
(Capo, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:28, archived)

BBC Breakfast French translation FAIL
BBC Breakfast has been running a report this morning about how Blackpool is trying to attract French visitors. Something to do with Blackpool Tower looking vaguely like the Tour Eiffel. The report includes shots of a girl ordering coffee etc in French while in Blackpool. Whatever.

Anyway, they've just shown it again, then cut to Chris Hollins for the sport, who said, "I wonder what the French for 'Kiss Me Quick' is?" to presenters Bill Turnbull and Susannah Reid sitting alongside him.

To which the lovely Susannah said, "'Baisez-moi vite', I think".

Well, yes, that does mean "Kiss me quick".

But it also means "Fuck me quick", and that's probably how it would be interpreted if you wandered round the streets of Paris with "Baisez-moi vite" written on your hat.

Bless.
(Capo, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

That's pretty funny.
Good find.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

Shame there isn't an unrelated question or a BBC news link.

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

Actually I've changed my mind.
I hate this new post. I was enjoying the old one.
I hate you.
I HATE YOU
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

Now tell him he'll live to regret this

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:43, archived)

THE FUCKER WILL RUE THE DAY

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:43, archived)

A coward you are, Seb. An expert on bulls you are not.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

It won't GORE you

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

Are you lot trying to bully me?
If so I'll have to post on QOTW about it.

Then run you over in my Honda.
(Capo, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:44, archived)

This is bullying
www.b3ta.com/talk/6147632
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

Haha
I like this one.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

Noone on this board has ever been to or lived in Paris
I mean, we'd have heard something about it.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

Hilarious pretend xenophobia there Mykeypie

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:43, archived)

I like the internet best when it's just you and me replying to each other.

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:43, archived)

*worries that you replied to yourself when saying that*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:46, archived)

Have you been to the secret Wormulus Board yet?

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

Is it just lots of you?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

And his comedy accounts.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

I only ever had one Comedy account
and you all tolerated it for a long time, before I took the piss.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

Its a whole other pedegree

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

You should visit
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/15629
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:56, archived)

I've been.
Only briefly as we were making our way to Bordeaux. Didn't like it very much.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

Ignoring the stupid presenter
Why would French people want to go to blackpool because the tower looks kind of like the Eiffel Tower?!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:45, archived)

They should go to Japan instead.
The Tokyo tower is bigger than the Eiffel tower.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

Why do English people go to Spain and eat in McDonalds?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

Don't get me started
When we were in Turkey we had a family recommend a restaurant because they did a full Sunday lunch. It's Turkey ffs, why would you want one?! Apart from anything, it's far too hot for such things.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

I had an Indian meal in Greece.
It was actually one of the nicest curries I've ever had.

Clearly I'm a badwrong, or a badong, but I don't regret it.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

"what d'you mean there aren't any chips?"
"i come here on a plane, you cunt"
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

Fuckin' french tourests.
Always comin' 'ere and goin "Le haw le haw le haw, where is le eifal tower, this place is rubbbish without any eifal towers.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:05, archived)

Get it right FFS
~~Eiffel Tower~~ Tour Eiffel
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

Also vite is an adjective and the corresponding adverb would be rapidement.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

The lady knows.

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

Surely Theoban would help clarify this

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

He doesn't speak French.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

He lives in Paris
And doesn't speak French?! Not even a little bit?

Hmm... After posting I assume you are being sarcastic. However I will not delete this post as that is bad.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

The last guy I went to Paris with
well, Disneyland, was one of those people that actually just screamed at them in English, thinking the volume might help.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

Oh dear
In Disneyland the majority probably speak English anyway.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

The bitchy little twats that work there don't when they're taking the piss.
Luckily I still spoke fair to middling French at that point.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

Its more than they deserve

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

*slaps you*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

The French are a bunch of Nazi collaborating baguette munching tosspots
There, i think thats enough stereotypes
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

Meh
My mate has lived in Geneva for 15 years and barely speaks French. Works for a US company and hangs around with ex-pats. No need for him to although I do think it's quite sad he doesn't
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

Really?
are you jesting?
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

Nope, not joking. He speaks a little bit but he doesn't really need to.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

Is he a mime artist?

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:53, archived)

Yes, yes he is.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

I've been attempting french conversation in my mind all morning

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

Can you write in it?

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:58, archived)

HELLO? O? _O? HEEEEELLOOO? OOO? _OOO? Anyone there? there? _there? OOOH MR GIPETTO! O! _O!

/in French, obviously
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

LOL BBC have apologised for it!
They just showed the Blackpool piece again and afterwards Bill Turnbull said they wouldn't attempt to translate Kiss Me Quick into French again, Susannah Reid looked very embarrassed and said her translation obviously didn't mean quite what she thought and she'd better go back to school...
(Capo, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

LOL

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

She should say, "Pardon my French".
Everyone will lol.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

See! Clagnut did before I even wrote that!

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:04, archived)

If she had have said that, it would have been
ROTFLMAO or some such shite
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

Has she now tried to translate it into german
as zeigen sie mir deine titten?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

_{zeigen sie mir deine titten}mir deine titten
titten
tit

*sniggers*
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:11, archived)

that's pretty much the gist.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

_{that's pretty much the gist.}pretty much the
pretty
ret_ity
etity
tit

*sniggers*
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

I'm aware we've had this discussion
but Jesus Chris what's up over at QOTW this week? They've gone into autistic-pander-medicated overdrive.

Anyway, why aren't you at work?

Edit: I'm keeping the typo. I like it.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:11, archived)

I liked the one that was basically an 80's training montage about him overcoming the terrible bullies

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:14, archived)

Don't mock QOTW or I'll run you over in my Honda

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:14, archived)

whilst training as a ninja?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

and having sex with loads of page 3 girls

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

And flying your jet
Good morning Mr Al! I trust we find you well?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

Very well thanks
just off to work.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

Be good now

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

Pfft
Jesus Chris
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:16, archived)

I think a QOTWer just needs to post saying "I'm being bullied by Talk"
Can't we just stop moaning about them? We both moan about each other, but c'mon! Let's take the high ground here.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Or we could take the well worn path of back biting and such

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Well, you're so good at it, why change things now?

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

Im surprised PB hasnt mentioned us
We're terrible bullies:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:20, archived)

I've been having a gaz chat with him.

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

If you take the high ground, it's much harder for a Honda to hit you
They aren't that powerful uphill
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

HONDA ACCORD

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:26, archived)

He deserved it. He was a year below.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

this

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:31, archived)

And of course
you wouldn't beat someone up if there was a chance they could actually beat you. No, you'd wait until they were spacked out on drugs and completely defenseless. And pinned by a car. Then it's fair game.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

I love how the more detail he adds, the less believable it is, rather than the other way round.

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:40, archived)

Yeah.
That's a smashing blouse you're wearing. Are you wearing a bra? You have lovely breasts. Is that too forward of me? Should I start by complementing your arse?
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

I wouldn't call it bullying per se.
I don't mind most of them, I'm sure they're lovely people. I only whinge because whenever I go there, it's like walking into that cancer support group in Fight Club.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

Have you read some of the answers?
And replies to the answers...
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

Because I have asthma and my boss has informed me to STAY THE FUCK HOME*.

*actual text message received.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:17, archived)

Hooray!
NOW GET BETTER
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:18, archived)

Yeah.
But your boss hasn't yet found out that you have asthma. That's just a coincidence.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:19, archived)

Pfft.
Oh...

:'(
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:20, archived)

Asking a question about bullying
To a group of Aspergers suffering lying twats is never going to end well.
Some of the replies are class though
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

It does make for depressing reading though

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:24, archived)

It makes me want to go to a QoTW bash and bully them.

(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

Bad idea
50% of them could/have knocked out Mike Tyson, the others have Honda Accords and are not afraid to use them.
You could be punching out of your depth
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:36, archived)

haha, i like that collision of expressions there!
'punching out of your depth'
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

I couldn't decide which one to use.

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

It is beyond satire.
We tried to help, but the gasping, wheezing lies just kept coming.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:26, archived)

I imagine their little chests are heaving with the exertion f fighting off all those zombies and ninjas
Plus the advances of the models of Nuts magazine
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

I've stuck another true one on there
www.b3ta.com/questions/bullies/post421745
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:30, archived)

Pfft
Is that actually true? Ace.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:37, archived)

Another time they put Sam in a bin
and said they would let him out if he could tell them, in English what was in the bin.

'FUCKING RUBBISH' he screamed, before adding calmly
'and a wasps'

Fucking genius bullying.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:39, archived)

Aww.
That's awesome. Cruel to Sam, but awesome. I might use that as my sig or something.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

There are other Sam wongisms
Sam was at a nightclub a few years later and there was a scuffle outside.

cue Sam Wong running full pelt at a taxi until it escaped.
Everyone gathers round

'Sam, what's wong?'

'THEY WILL PAY FOR WHAT THEY DID TO MY FRIENDS'

Another classic was Sam Wong explaining 'NOT KOREAN' and 'Not every Chinese person is Bruce Lee' which much to my brother's amusment is also a line in Tuxedo, starring Jackie Chan.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

Bloody hell
no new message since three this morning?

There must be someone who could not sleep or got up early for work!

Its alright for me as I am now in bed after working all night.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:14, archived)

I'm awake
I'm updating my new TomTom as I'm a direction spazz
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:26, archived)

Speaking of which
I need to update my tom tom as its a few years out of date.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:32, archived)

I only got mine yesterday
I'm going to let it guide me to work.
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

Done the same car journey now for almost 19 years
could do it in my sleep.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

I'm here.
I just woke up from a dream that involved getting angry at a Mac luser who refused to believe any of the advice I was giving her. She was trying to search for underwear (or cure a technical issue, maybe both), and instead of just googling it, she googled, "get seeds underwear" and randomly started downloading this mystery torrent onto a Windows laptop.

All I remember is her being haughty and "it can't go wrong, it's a MAC." How can a geeky dream wind me up so much?
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:30, archived)

maybe it was not the geek element
but the seeds in her underwear.

maybe that blossomed.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:33, archived)

I don't think she understood the phrase
'grass in the garden' very well then.
(

Bats, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

maybe the bush just needed trimming

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:41, archived)

I'm all sneezy
And gotta get dressed, have breakfast and walk a mile and a half in the next hour.
(__, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:34, archived)

doable

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:37, archived)

I am off work again today, but got up as find it hard to sleep at the moment :)
*buzzes around on prednisolone*
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 7:44, archived)

this is where gin is your friend.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:49, archived)

No booze for me for at least a week :(

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

what?
how are you going to last a entire week?!?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:01, archived)

I think the average weekly amount of postings is way down these days too
*sounds the gong of internet death*
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:53, archived)

bah dont be so downbeat
this place has had more ups and downs than a spastic on a bouncy castle.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:57, archived)

it's because I'm not online as much these days, isn't it?

(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:58, archived)

Have you been yielding fewer pages when you search for your name every morning
you enormous pancake of a man.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:59, archived)

Perhaps you've stopped replying to yourself
that would have saved many posts
(

minimum fuss - an all time favourite, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:01, archived)

but had he not
he would have lost the game!
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:03, archived)

*snigger*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:03, archived)

If i searched for my name every morning id be inundated with badger desperately trying to get my attention
I imagine he cries every night.

Although considering he probably has to escape his missus trying to eat him every night, im not surprised.

lolfatkillingyouyoung
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:03, archived)

I imagine this to happen in a benny hill stylee
But with the sad, plinky plonky music from the end of the incredible hulk.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:09, archived)

*drops 10,000 spoons behind you*

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Thu 14 May 2009, 8:23, archived)

We were hiding
you ruined it.
(

WormuIus, Thu 14 May 2009, 7:58, archived)

i failed to receive the memo in time

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Thu 14 May 2009, 8:00, archived)

just not happening tonight is it?
I've grazed my elbow a bit

might need a spot of antiseptic on there actually
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 2:39, archived)

aren't you pleased?
all the dull people fucked off, just like you wanted. now you're free to post hilarious and interesting stuff without impediment.
off you go.
(

scott,, Thu 14 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

not got hilarious right now but I've got a mildly interesting if that'll do you?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:03, archived)

Not all of them.
¦:¬D|
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:10, archived)

oh hai mike
how's the trolling going?
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:25, archived)

Yer goin alrite n that.
Scored a few points today and things so I'll be happy for a few more weeks.

ow's bein a miserable cunty goin?
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:29, archived)

well I was hoping to bully someone into a nervous breakdown tonight but I'm getting Severe Internet Disapproval vibes here

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:35, archived)

also, I just lifted up my t-shirt and squeezed my tits and shouted "theeeeeeeese are my tits"
I'm proper zany me
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:36, archived)

I'm just trying to think or some WACKY stuff I've done or thought about doing.
I remember once thinking about playing ping-pong with coke bottles as rackets.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:40, archived)

haha, that'd be WILD and WACKY
this one time I joined an internet messageboard and just posted the word PARP then never went there again
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:42, archived)

This one time I set up a fake account and then blamed this other forum user for it.
lololol
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:49, archived)

I know you're Bou bees and Police Dog you twatbucket
just wait til you see my next comedy account, it's rofltastic
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:52, archived)

I thought Dave Trouser was rofltastic.
This is all very confusing.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 May 2009, 4:08, archived)

Man.
That's whack.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:49, archived)

I totally just went like PARP and then never went back there
it was totally just PARP woah not here any more and they'd be like woah, PARP, what's that and I was like lol, totaly PARPed your messageboard lol
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:53, archived)

I recommend Germolene
On a different side note I have had a grand total of 2 chavs, 1 drunk and 1 cat try to climb/jump through my window.

FFS I've had the telly on and everything, surely that would be enough of a deterrent.

Damn halls of residence.
(

Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Thu 14 May 2009, 2:56, archived)

hahah
1st floor (2nd if you're a merkin) ftw!

i've seen someone climb though a window and steal cinnamon and cling film, and we chucked activated rape alarms into kitchens ;D
(

weaver., Thu 14 May 2009, 3:10, archived)

Sounds mental.
I wish you were my friend.
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 14 May 2009, 3:11, archived)

£2000
and i'm yours
(

weaver., Thu 14 May 2009, 3:17, archived)

if that is the best you can do..
why complain about the other shit threads
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Thu 14 May 2009, 4:29, archived)

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