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I HEARD THAT (X) THAINKS THAT (Y) IS A CUNT!
Feel free to complete entries for X and Y.
Come on. Let's get a bit of life in to you people.
Think of SSG.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

X = David Cameron
Y = Lucozade
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

YOU TERROR!
img26.imageshack.us/img26/844/theshoes.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

it's a good film

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I head GMoS won an Oscar for it.

(

SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

2

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I HEARD THAT (NELSON MANDELA) THINKS THAT (YOUR MUM) IS A CUNT!

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

the thing is,
hello.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

SSGWIN!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

PENIS
VAGINA
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

BUTTSEX

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Israel, Palestine

(

ArthurTheRat, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I heard that Blue Star thinks that GMoS isn't actually sexy

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I don't consider her opinion unreasonable.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

BLASPHEMY!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

Horrible bullying Double R.
No need for that :(
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

that always makes me thing 'sugar spun gister'.
Gister sounds horrible, like someone that cleans trampy slags for a living.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

I thought that said 'Ginster'
Making me think of some horrid candy-floss pastie.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Pasties shouldn't taste of cardboard, pepper and stagnant water.
Why Ginsters seem unable to grasp that is beyond me.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I always used to take Ginsters pasties into recording studios
They were okay in moderation. The sound techs moaned at me for dropping crumbs around the mixing desk.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

When we next record
it'll probably be at the Hood-Butters'.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

*fist pump*
I haven't recorded anything in about a year, I think. I might just stick my amp in front of a pc mic and see what happens.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

We record a lot of practices, just on the 8 track.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

We used a shitty tape recorder nicked from HMP Kirkham to record all our practices
There was more background swearing and insults than music on most of the tapes.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:26, archived)

Oooh, have you got any left?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:30, archived)

If there are any survivors, the drummer'll have them
He's the one that nicked the tape recorder in the first place. I might ask If I remember.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:38, archived)

X: David Carradine
~~Y: Master Po~~

Y: Room Service
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

Sounds to me like it was autoerrotic asphyxiation.
What is it with famous people and strangle-wanking?
(

SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

x = Wormulus y = DG

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:16, archived)

I've just downgraded to XP.
Bleurgh. I'm now stuck with a god-awful 1024x768 resolution, and none of my stuff will migrate properly.

What made you swear like a docker with a stubbed toe recently?
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

Oh look now.
It's lovely out and you're talking about computers.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

it isn't lovely out here.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

The moon is usually shit during the Earth's northern hemisphere's summer

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

It's a bit meh here.
Not worth going out in, really.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

i sat outside for a while,
and done a good hours worth of walking, i guess poncey twats would call it urban rambling, anyway, the point is, i'm not sunburnt yet, even though it's about a billion degrees out and the sun is three yards from my face.
so how are you?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

you're so brave
an inspiration to us all
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

I'm welling up.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

don't you start, you'll set me off again

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

it's ok guys.
i'll get through it.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

i KNOW you will, you're a fighter, everyone belives in you

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

I'm not
this cunt isnt content with pancreatic cancer, he's out there trying to get skin cancer too.

HE WILL BANKRUPT THE NHS !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

I'm always cocking swearing.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

pissknickers

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:17, archived)

Stubbing my toe, funnily enough

(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

i swear quite a lot, never at people though

(

well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

I got a snippy email from my boss
I had to go outside until I'd calmed down otherwise I would've been very passive agressive towards him. So passive in fact that he wouldn't have been able to tell and would just think I'm being helpful.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

you are THE MAN

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

I sure showed him
I line 'em up then KNOCK 'EM DOWN
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

im not a fan of swearing.
never do it myself.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:00, archived)

I ALMOST did that the other day,
But I decided on a fresh install of Vista, as much as it frustrates me.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Oh, the last time I swore...
Earlier today I was cursing terribly at the fact I spilled Mexican Chicken down my new top.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

Yes, I swore when I realised I spilled snakebite and black down last nights top
And I don't have a clean one to go home in today
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

I don't swear when I'm angry.
...fuck, I can only remember getting a bit annoyed at one person over the last year or so...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

And in fact it was a b3tan too.
Apart from that I can't remember the last time I was angry.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

I'm still very sorry Mr Gums
I never meant to upset you
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

weren't you dude :) Was actually in real life

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I actually know you in real life, this is my comedy login

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Was it when I wouldn't put that ice cream on my nipples and let you lick it off?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Please say it was Wormulus

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

Na, he's sound as a pound in real life.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:19, archived)

aw man was it because I made you eat that cold coleslaw mash?
:(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

BLERP!
GNAH! I just cried lots. I like it when we were out with cr3 and we were like "OOOOh you MUST try the MASH!" nyimnyimnyim
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:18, archived)

I've never seen someone look so sad while eating

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:20, archived)

haha :D

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:21, archived)

The fact it's 32 degrees back in dundalk, while it's winter here and I feel a bit sickish.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Getting stuck behind a pensioner driving at 30mph on my favourite road this morning.
Three miles of screaming and swearing.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

slow down junior.
i never speed, dangerous innit
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

Junior, ffs.
It's a national speed limit road!!!
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

I think when you get to 65 you should have to re take your driving test.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

*pretends that you meant 65mph*
*hilarious joke here*

*much LOL down here*

I have no imagination today.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Yes Limit,
not the speed you have to drive at.
(

M o D, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

Yeah, I'm kind of aware of that.
but thanks anyway.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

the fact that i'm fucking stuck waiting for fucking edf to pull their fingers out of their fat french arses and send an engineer to turn the cunting power back on
wankers
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

ah,
French.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

well they are more than likely english people dealing with it london, but still, it's a french company so i'm blaming those workshy garlic eaters

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

Stephen Clarke depicts the French in a very amusing manner
Opinion.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

The autocomplete in my Google search bar.
It keeps searching for things I didn't type, and every time I go to type something in the middle of it, the selection box appears and the cursor jumps to the end. Frustrating crap and I can't turn it off.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:03, archived)

i'm fairly certain you can turn that off

(

well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:04, archived)

I've tried,
I've gone into the ~~plugins~~ extensions menu and it says it's not configurable. There's a context menu, but it doesn't seem to change anything.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

Preferences > Do not provide query suggestions.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

I can only surmise that this advice applies to a browser I'm not using.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

you can just right click in the box and deselect the option too

(

well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

which does nothing apparently

(

well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

The only option is "Select Input Method",
and I've yet to work out what it means. It defaults to "XIM".
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

can you clear the search history? i just did that and the suggestions have stopped for now

(

well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

I can do that,
but it gets the suggestions from the internet as well, not just from what you've previously typed. It would be quite clever and useful if it wasn't so annoying.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

it seems to be working as intended at my end

(

well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

as soon as I type "f" it comes up "facebook".

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

Oh I've sorted it.
If you click on the Google logo you get an entirely different menu.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:33, archived)

That works for me.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:12, archived)

it only worked for me after i cleared the history too for some reason

(

well, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Life.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

my dog had a stroke.
that was sad.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

So brave of you to not mention your panreatic cancer

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:08, archived)

i don't want to go on about it, you know.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:10, archived)

My girlfriend or a computer game.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

OK, OK they're one and the same.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:07, archived)

I was going to say
you can't have a girlfriend AND play video games surely?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

She likes games as much as I do
yet she is internet free by means of not being of facebook.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:23, archived)

did you find that in a toilet too?

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

You seem to be remembering that incorrectly on purpose you big rotter >:(

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:15, archived)

im not that smart :(

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:22, archived)

The toilet thing is that I fell over in the toilet (NOT DRUNK)
just before I met her.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:29, archived)

SHUT UP.
you're ruining it.
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:36, archived)

I don't swear at bad stuff
My swears are usually for comic effect or shock value only.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

CUMSLUT

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:09, archived)

I know you are but what am I? :P
/playground
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:13, archived)

Yay! Hello lovely.
*Hugs*
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Hello there lovely strider :)
*hugs back*
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:14, archived)

Leaving a lovely fruit pie in the oven for almost 2 hours.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:11, archived)

Oh Bill!
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8083479.stm

Five Point Palm Exploding Heart technique suspected? Probably not by the sound of things.
(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

aww
:(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

DEAD spangers, DEAD.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

No she's not. She's right there, look.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

*waves*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

ALWAYZ IN ARE HARTS

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

BABBY SPANG
wit da angles
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

*sniffs*
I almost wish I didn't beat her up so much on her birthday.
*sniff*
Almost.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

I deserved it.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:48, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6198593
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:57, archived)

ZOMBIES!

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

*makes them*
Spanglebum, send me a hi-res picture and I'll turn you into one if you like. Well, you can go on the list...
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

ooh, I don't think I have a good recent one
let me have a look....
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

It doesn't have to be good, I'm shopping it

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

shit, i forgot about this. i need to pick a picture

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

That you do.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

That's just morbid!
Someone's tied a string to the limbs of spangolin's corpse and is puppeteering her around like a Thunderbirds character.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

WTF?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

Did you know David Carradine? What are you memories of him? Send us your comments using the form below:
Or Did you know anything about David's bizarre sexual activities? Send us your comments...
(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

I TIED THAT ROPE AROUND HIS BALLS

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

Oh Spangers, how could you?

(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:33, archived)

I'd hate to die in a wanking accident.
Especially if it was an odd one and people had to try to look sad while also trying to figure out what the hell I was trying to achieve in the first place.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Guaranteed to get you in the news though

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:35, archived)

Well we'd all know what you were trying to achieve, we'd just be
trying to figure out why you'd go about it in such a manner.
(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

They've changed it to
"around his neck and body" now.
(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

what was it before ?

(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

NECK AND GENITALS

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:41, archived)

GENITALS INDEED

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

ooh nasty
They had already changed it by the time I read it.
(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

hehe
*turns crimescene photos upside down, tilts head*
nerp, still don't get it.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

Rope around his head and his balls?
What a way to go.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

Maybe he was piss poor at putting on a tie.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:47, archived)

Why do they have to give us that much information?
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

I don't think it's entirely necessary. And it's just confused me.

(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

haha, testicles.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

New filenames lure you into a false sense of security.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

They really don't, you predictable licker of OAP gooch.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:32, archived)

Bill Killed
...in bizarre wanking accident.

I bet that wasn't part of his Kung Fu training.
(

Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

MORE OLDS!
This can only be a good thing for /talk.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

Also
Video of Mayor Boris falling into a river

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8082995.stm

Boris FAIL
(

Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

I actually laughed out loud at that earlier.
Brilliant.
(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

to be fair, he was already in the river, on purpose.
but the man is a walking disaster area. Did you see the one where he was on his bike, and a lorry behind him dragged a parked car along the road?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

I saw a clip of him playing football yesterday and headbutting some poor sod in the knackers
it did make me giggle.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

here's the one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJKufJSazjg
more scary than funny this time.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:43, archived)

Cannae see at work, pet

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:45, archived)

And... the Boris Johnson rugby tackle
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA
(

Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

god he totally forgot what sport he was playing,
dreadful.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:58, archived)

I remember watching that
He received the biggest cheer of the match
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:02, archived)

haha

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

I'm hearing the Harold-being-an-oaf tuba music from Neighbours when watching that.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:01, archived)

Marvellous
That is surely the way to go.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

at least he had a good innings, unlike poor Sir Sand Goblin who is far to young to be suffering the way he is, this has left me questioning my faith in god

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

What's wrong with SSG?

(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

A shorter list would be what is right with ssg?
He has cancer of the everything
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:36, archived)

Really? Bloody hell.

(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

6 months they reckon
We've started a collection
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

Have you actually started one? 6 months? Fuck me.

(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:42, archived)

Yup
You can paypal mongy
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:44, archived)

Ta.

(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

i read that as papal mongy, which i think would be a great idea, this current pope is a bit too left wing for my liking

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

it's so cruel and unfair, we have so many wankers on this forum, not naming any names, who i wish would get cancer and young SSG gets it
damn you god
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:38, archived)

pancreatic cancer

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

Ohhh grassflopper :(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

That's what you get for failing to become a human nunchaku

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

FFS
I bet his family are chuffed they gave out that much information
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

lol stretch
poor chap
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

He was also in one episode of Airwolf

(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:39, archived)

he was no vin diesel

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

There goes another master of Kung Fu. That just leaves Mister Myagi.
Wank on, wank off.
(

FoldsFive, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:46, archived)

*Gentle applause*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:49, archived)

Mister Myagi died a few years back.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

and steven seagal

(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:50, archived)

I'm just a chef
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

one of my favourites that
seagal AND tommy lee
(

rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:54, archived)

f r
sorry
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:56, archived)

...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:59, archived)

nah he's been dead for years, aint he

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:53, archived)

Apply for a student visa to America sucks
Fleecing me out of over $300 (visa fee + SEVIS (student database) fee). Plus why the fuck do they need to know my work experience? Fucking hell.
(mysterious_w, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

I was CHAMPIONED through customs. CHAMPIONED.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

There's the Green Aisle - nothing to declare
The Red Aisle - Things to declare

And the JMG Aisle - where only JMG is allowed to go through. I suppose it could be coloured black and white. I'm not sure.
(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

a fanfare, I bet

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

it's almost like they don't want you.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

gosh, we're just trying to make sure you don't fly a plane into the white house and shit

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

I was going to sacrifice my life for Allah,
but if it's going to cost me $300 I won't bother.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

they say "that'll be $300" and if you say "by allah that's expensive, you western oppressor" then they nick you

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:40, archived)

Fucking Merkins tightening up on security
I mean come on, whats the worse that could happen?
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:30, archived)

Why aren't your University paying?

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6198423
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

If Mykey is anorexic I'd like to think he'll try harder.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Populared.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

clikin dis

(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/gif/dcim004342.gif
(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

you changed the filename?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:28, archived)

Bloody hell, these past 3 days have really affected you. Need to top up your attentionometer?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

img26.imageshack.us/img26/844/theshoes.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

His Royal Hotness

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

I need to keep my attention levels topped up
people had stopped talking about my disapearance.

I'll be alright for the rest of the afternoon now, I can leave you all to it.
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

Yay, now we can invent more rumours to spread.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Welcome back.
I missed you.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

MISS ME?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

Disappear again
and we'll all talk about you.

Or maybe fall in a river like Boris Johnson did.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

I just watched that video on the BBC
I was expecting a full-on topple into a river from the bank, but he was already in it! This is not news.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

WHAT VIDEO?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

!
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8083056.stm
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

the lady falling in was more funny.
he just slipped a bit.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

You still haven't said thank you JMG for sticking up for you.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

Thank you JMG.

(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:31, archived)

i want to go home, bloody fucking shit cunts

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

HAHAHAHAH

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:24, archived)

it's not funny, me being stuck at work has spoilt my dinner plans

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:25, archived)

HAHAHAHAH

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

how could you be so mean to me, i might cry

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:27, archived)

I hope you cry so much, you dehydrate and die.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:29, archived)

right i'm putting you on ignore, i've had all i can stand of you, you troll

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:34, archived)

Christ you're all considerably boring today. Just when I need you to be fun to pass the time.
Can't you all huddle together and fall out with one another or something?
Perhaps one of you can have a bit of a cry or a tantrum?
Come on! You're shit today.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

Sorry JMG, we're all wobbled out
There's an air of resignation wafting around the board
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Who's resigned?

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

The yiffers?
/hopeful
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

hell no

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:22, archived)

Yiffers are worse than paedophiles and hitler.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:23, archived)

Hazel Blears

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

Somebody's usually having a fight with someone.
Some kind of internet fallout. But lately there's nothing.
I'd hate to stoke the flammable fatties myself as I could be here for hours winning arguments and causing general unrest.
As fun as that is, though. I haven't got the urge for it. :(

Well done b3ta. You've managed to bore everybody important.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

Usually mocking "spirituality" stirs up a bit of unrest
as can some "comedy" racism.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

You really are not helping

(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

Needs more GMoS.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

TRUE!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

Me, you and GMoS should plait our winkies together.
and spin around in a circle like Turkish dancers.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

PANDERMONIUM!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

Can't someone pretend to have cancer so we can pretend to find it funny ?
Then some people can feign indignance and we can simulate some feelings of derision for them.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

im gonna wear my dual skirt with buckly legwarmers tomorrow.
it's gonna be awesome.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

I'd like to see you in a relatively short skirt
wearing a MASSIVE strap on cock underneath.

So it dingly-dangles down below the hem of the skirt.

It should be lurid purple rubber
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

SOUNDS SAUCY.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:26, archived)

You're shit.
Do something entertaining and then everyone might join in, lazy. Come the fuck on.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:18, archived)

Now THIS is more like it!

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:19, archived)

JMG
*smashes fat hands onto keyboard*
*runs off crying*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

I predict that soon there will be more adverts on spotify than music.
Anyone else getting pissed off with their increasing frequency?

Also, can anyone reccomend a decent netbook? Has to be cheap, light but with as good a keyboard as possible. I can't stand laptop keyboards usually.
(

just a man sitting on a chair eating a biscuit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Not sure what Spotify is.
No I'm not.

Nah.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

the dell mini 9 is the best for putting OSX on, so I hear
so I'd recommend that :) I'd get one if I had £300 or so spare.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

I once kissed myra hindley on the internet

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

I have never used Spotify
So the frequency of adverts is something I am unaware of.

I also can't recommend a netbook.

I'm sorry, this entire reply has wasted your time. I should go shoot myself again.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU'RE GOING ON ABOUT.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

Time for a new JMG thread I think.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

is spotify free?

(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

it is free
but they ram annoying adverts down your throat every few songs. it's the increased frequency in ads that is getting me, though, since they didn't used to be often enough to annoy.
(

just a man sitting on a chair eating a biscuit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:16, archived)

right? I mean really, gosh, free is great but it's positively TORTURE to have adverts
it's not even worth it in the end, is it?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:20, archived)

Dell inspiron mini 9

(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

i think that it is kind of fair,
since you are basically getting free music for free and stuff. if you're not happy, it doesn't cost much just to buy the adverts away.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

You can't, like, own, music man.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I can help.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

I got one for my birthday
but I'm shit at technology so I can't tell you anything about it other than it's teeny and it's OMG pink and has a cool mouse.

I think it's made by Acer.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

omg pink?
fantastic :D
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

I stream from the
stations I find on windows media player, they seem fine.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

I hate laptop keyboards
I broke my laptop the other day, got bluescreen of death when I was in the bath. (as in watching movies as it was on the toilet, I was in the bath) (**as in it was perched on the closed toilet, not doing a computer poopoo, that would be silly)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

The BSOD is the computer equivalent of doing a poo.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

It's doing a memory dump

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:21, archived)

good god, i was jjust thinking the same thing!

(TheFallGuy doesn't it?!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

What's a spotify?
Niceday shorthand, feint ruled, 80 pages. Top banana.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

I was pissed off the first time I heard one and unistalled spotify
if I wanted adverts I'd listen to the radio
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in decades
All the stuff looked exactly the same, the chair was the same, the drill things were the same, the mouthwash was the same.

Technology seems to have passed dentistry by since about 1979
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

People's teeth are the same, I'd imagine.
They have digital X-rays now though.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

I've been nice to you on here for a while becuase you build computers and I've met you and you are a nice person.
but it would be nice if you didn't post, ever.
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

We haven't met and I'm quite sure you're good at ordering food on a computer.
But I feel the same way W does towards the internet girl, there. When it comes to yourself.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

As for you, you baleful moaning orca
You can shut the fuck up right down your cock.
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I miss Hermione
She was nice:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

I bet when you sleep you dream that your fingers are sausages and wake yourself up by gobbling on them.

(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Yes, that's right

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

I'd like to offend you so that I can be on the receiving end of one of these insults
they're very creative.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

haha

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

Oh.
I've no idea how that apparently innocuous comment has managed to cause upset. Online.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:09, archived)

img17.imageshack.us/img17/6500/jmgsfault2.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Sometimes the internetrage just takes me.

(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

and you've only been back, what, half an hour?
this doesn't bode well.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

Mine...
... has wet processing... I can smell the chemicals...(Marcel Proust moment)

Anyone else remember black and white film processing and printing. I loved all that.
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

I did some in Uni
smells fantastic.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

were the prices the same...
... probably not
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

Did you enjoy the man putting his tool in your mouth to give you a good filling?

And so on.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

Mine uses lasers
I get to wear 'cool goggles' too. Well that's what my dentist calls them so I don't freak out and bend the arm rest like last time. I also get whistly lollies if I'm a good boy.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

They still use the same piece of floss.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

My dentist removed me from the register.
Because of their own cock-up.

Gits.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

My dentist claps when I get my cock out

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

to turn the lights off for sexytimes, I imagine.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

He makes me do cry cry tears as I warblegargle :'(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

don't deny that you find the squeaky rubber gloves a bit sexy though!
and the mask, oooh he sounds all muffled!
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

mmmpphhletsbummmpphhh

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:17, archived)

I went to the doctor today for the third time this week.
I now have 7 holes across both my arms but no blood would come out so I have to now go to the ominously named Blood Room at the hospital. And also to a neurologist.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

why, what's up with you?

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

She's got no blood obviously

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

:(((
specialist phlebotomists are much better at taking blood, it's the only thing they do all day, if they can't get any out of you, it means you haven't got any.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

I bet I could do it.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

They should try getting it out of the back of your hand
they can never take blood out of my arms either.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

The people who spend all day taking blood and putting in canulars are loads better than doctors.
Because that's their job, to do it all day every day.

You can pick up some cream from your phamacist called EMLA, put it on an hour before hand and cover it with clingfilm, and you'll hardly feel a thing. It's great if you have to do that sort of thing regulary or are a big fat massive poof.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

*hugs*
hello Gonz, was your holiday lovely?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:15, archived)

actually, it's only bad dentists that haven't improved massively

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

What colour mouthwash?
I have pink at my dentist.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

Yep pink
I suspect all dentists are in the gays
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:07, archived)

My dentist seemed to trial purple mouthwash for a while when I was young.
I think the change freaked out too many patients.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:08, archived)

My dentist is Russian and he has lasers and mad hair
And if you go at the end of the day he'll open the whisky and you sit around drinking for a bit at the end of your appointment
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

Mine was fat and Irish,
And called Paddy
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

I'd like to start an anti-Conservatives thread.
They're a bunch of fairies who I bet I could beat up.
Aye. Any of them.

Aye.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

Some of them are fat
and many of them are toffs.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

I'll be honest. I'm not a fan of many toffs or political people at all.
I really should be given sole charge of the country.
Out of my way, ugly Britain.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

90% of politicians are toffs.
even the bnp
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

they're a bit posh
and one once looked at my cat funny
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

They're the only ones who will stand up for CRICKET.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

Send them threats through email.
We'll all do it, we'll be brave.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

I have a blackberry pie.
It's very nice. Who's jealous?
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6198313
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

*Firm handshakes and the rigging of voting booths up and down the land*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

I think me and you should be the two parties to vote for at b3ta.
We can pretend to be angry at each other online but really clink glasses of whiskey and scoff at all the dimplefists behind closed doors.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

*Punches the clouds*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

*punches a crow in the beak with joy*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Aye.
And I would give you a hand.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

I reckon I could have two in headlocks while you take their dinner monies.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

I'd rather nick their expences.
moer profit
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

Cameron has a bit of a downsy face.

(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

i hear they're all from aberdeen
only posh aberdeen, not the slightly grim aberdeen that they save for the tourists
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

I'm guessing nobody read my edit
www.b3ta.com/talk/6198264

you spastics.
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

You need to insult counties!
That always finds gold.
Usually with people from Yorkshire. Who'll defend that open air museum depicting 80's lifestyle like their own life depends on it.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

I'm voting for the Militant Wing of the Black Panther Party

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

"I really hate blacks, and gays...." *tumble weed" "hahaha, just kidding, guys, guys? did you think I was being serious? hahahah, yeah', right."

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

But you do though Gonz.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

I get so confused by their fassion sense
=(((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:11, archived)

A vote for Jay Em Gee is a vote For The People, By The People, OFFLINE _and_ ONLINE.
I suggest your first act in parliment is to rename "Prime Ministor" to "Super Supream Comander of Everything, Everywhere (baggsy nothings better than that)".

Naturally someone who says "Uch High Lee Noo" a lot will get it confused with a Burger King meal.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

My second plan is cutting off Scotland.
Replacing Hadrian's Wall with a moat, etc.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:59, archived)

agreement here from the other side of the border.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

MASS PRODUCTION OF FATAPULTS TO KICKSTART BRITISH MANUFACTURING!
We're flinging our way out of recession, one tubber at a time!
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

CHUBBY CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE IN!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:03, archived)

I'll belive that when pigs fly.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:14, archived)

www.cr3static.com/data/jpg/hadrianswall.jpg
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:02, archived)

Ha!
YES!!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

some of them are black and muslim and female nowadays

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

The Tories are hideous spoofs of themselves.
TRUE OR FALSE?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

TRUE!!!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

THAT JUST PROVES MY POINT

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:13, archived)

cr3 just busted me for a mailinator email address...
... so it'll be interesting to see what spam turns up in my new gmail address.

Also (unrelated) gah, you-know-who is back, just when the smell was starting to dissipiate. It's OK, he can't see this, I've got him on ignore!
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

What ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

shit out your cock
I think.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

what was your old name?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

"Cuntface"

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Toothagony all gone?
Dental pain is no excuse for levity.
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

It's gone from "agony" to "Irritation" after a filling

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

Cock solves all!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I don't understand much of that I'm afraid.
Well, certainly not how those sentances work together and if they influence each other.

Nice name though. Grrrrrr sponge.
(

magnum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Lion-cake by name...
... lion-cake by nature, try a google image search for 'lion cake'
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:56, archived)

my registered email address has been dead for years
i'd change it but it involves mailing people, and i can't bring myself to care
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

It was me that reported you
I thought you were a regular being a cock and I was sick of people thinking you were me.
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:54, archived)

Did you get internetlawyerman to file the complaint to the mods for you?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

I just gazzed cr3 and asked if this was a genuine new account.

(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

HOW WILL YOU BE VOTING.
edit:

Oh for heaven's sake you bunch of spastics. I won't really, I just wanted to see you wring your hands, however, the rabid nonsence that you spout about the Conservative party didn't amuse me as much as I thought.

I just feel like I've taken the piss out a disabled kid for the football team he supports.
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

no way! will you?
but why?
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

it's pretty inevitable, even if it's shit

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

im gonna vote yellow.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

i wanted to vote for the "let's have another party" party

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Always vote JMG!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

side scroll bars binky!
:(
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

THAT'S HOW UPSET I AM.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

I'M CONSIDERING ANARCHY.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

I'd like to live in a hippy utopia please
much like the Good Life but in a treehouse. cr3 would make a good Tom to my Barbara in wellies.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

i like her
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I remember reading about her once
she was pretty hardcore.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

i am currently reading a biography of these two - i bought it for 50p.

i want a different life.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

they were virtually fascists but i like the way they lived as they wished without regard for society's stupid rules.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

is it interesting?
sounds like it would be.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:57, archived)

it's a bit weird. it's got a lot of facts. it's dressed up as a SEXY LESBIAN book but actually it's full of footnotes and stuff.
i like all the snippets of information. it isnt explicit or owt.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

Why are you upset Binky?
You will be better off under the Tories.
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

fuck those lies.
chances are my situation wouldn't really change, but a lot of people would be in more trouble and a few would get richer.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

if it's inevitable, you might as well vote for a party you actually like
small party candidates are only allowed to masturbate once per year per person that votes for them, so make them happy
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

aw man I didn't realise those were the rules
the Green Party could do with a bit of a wank party, I think.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

i'm overhauling the first past the post system, one lie at a time

(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Not at all
forgot to register at new place, too late now. Millions weep, BNP gets in by one.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

I won't be voting Conservative
an insidious cunt's still a cunt.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

The implication being that any Conservative politician is an insidious cunt?

(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

Not any, just quite a few.
in my humble, anyway. Easy Tarquin, you know your boys have already won.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

Are they insidious cunts becuase they are Conservative politicians or despite being Conservative politicians?
Are there more insidious cunts in the Conservative party than other political parties?
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Christ, this is like the pissed Glaswegian at the bar that mishears someone say Celtic are shit.
Not due to or despite party, but that's the feeling I get about a lot of them at the moment. Lovely, soothing, comforting Conservatives that really care about the proles.

To be honest, I didn't realise I was going to be interrogated.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I just don't understand what you meant by
I won't be voting Conservative
an insidious cunt's still a cunt.

You won't vote for a political party because it has insidious cunts in it?
(

WormuIus, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

No, I won't vote for them because I don't agree with a lot of their policies
that was just an aside. It's nice to know you give so much of a shit, though.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

Most of the Tory vote comes from proles

They'd never get in otherwise
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

I actually would, if they had any chance of winning in my constituency.
I want labour to go away. Some say better the devil you know, but I reckon no devil could be worse than this cunt, insidious or otherwise.
The least we can hope for is a semi-competent cunt, I reckon.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

I think, to be honest, even if they came up with a lot of policies I agreed with
I'd still not. Silly, I know, but it's The Conservatives.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

They're the BADDIES
they're ON THE OTHER SIDE

This is why democracy isn't what it should be.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I read that as "BADDIELS"
Fuck voting for that fat oily cunt.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

I dont think putting a party in italics makes them bad

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

You, personally,
are the entirety of everything that is bad about politics. If someone killed you the world would probably be awesome.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

steady on there

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

YER I'LL FIGHT THERLOTTAYERS.

(MooCow_Byter, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

You wear a hat indoors, shut up.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:51, archived)

Stop oppressing me,
you fascist.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

Stop judging me, you poser.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

i concur, i'd like to see labour out
but that really doesn't necessitate my voting for someone else i don't believe in
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

this is a commonly shared view
from what I have found recently. no one wants to vote labour, they all think lib dems are a bit of a waste of a vote at the moment, and no one actually wants to vote conservative.

what's left? UKIP. BNP.

great
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:05, archived)

I don't think the lib dems are a waste of time
it's only because everyone else has too little vision to see an England without Labour or the cons at the helm that they think that.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:06, archived)

it was the general feeling I got
I can see them being in opposition come the general election which would be something at least.
would it really make that much difference to have the Lib dems at the helm? Frankly, I don't have the vision to see that it would. I'd like to give it a try though.
(

Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:12, archived)

i don't quite get the "they won't win, so vote for someone you don't like because they're better than someone else you don't like" line
even if one has to live with first-past-the-post voting, it's still not the option i'd pick
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:37, archived)

I'M VOTING CAKE

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

like everytime i will be voting lemonparty.org
i like their website
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

Can i suggest some sort of official mongy party?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

i have a very strong stance against the timid, the humourless and the needy

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

They would only yap at our heels for being terrible trolls:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

not for long i'd bully them to suicide
or a massive flounce
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

*votes for mongy*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

I'll probably be voting Lib Dem at the next National and Scottish elections.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

I forget to register
And anyway, i find the idea of voting for a Scot repulsive.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I dunno.
I'm really tired.

I might just spoil my ballot to show them my rage and contempt for their shitty democratic system. Yeah.
(MooCow_Byter, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

I'll be honest, I'm a bit disassociated from politics at the moment
I shall have to educate myself more rigorously prior to the elections.

I'll be voting though, no doubt about that.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

I'm not bothering.
The country is in such a shit state, Labour can't fix it, Conservatives are not strong enough to fix it, Liberals couldn't fix a sticker to their arses and the rest are just a waste of time. What we need is a coalition government to sort it out but that will never happen.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)

This is where I step in.
I have the people's vote.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Is this one of yours?
Oh and I expect you saw this...
b3ta.com/talk/6196346
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

I have a strict. NO TIME FOR CHILDREN stance.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

I know what you mean.
By the time I've caught them I'm too knackered to rape them.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

REVOLT.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

VOTE BINKY

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

I DEMAND ROLLING RIGHTS IN ALL GRASSY MEADOWS.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:53, archived)

But Captain you're a terrible person if you dont vote
And you arent allowed an opinion:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

i voted jury team
because i have a misplaced faith in the uk population
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

I'll not get home in time to vote
because of work and REAL LIFE, OFFLINE.

There's fuck all to choose between the main parties to be honest, the best reason to vote is to stop extremist parties getting a higher percentage of the vote, as wankers like the BNP always get a full turnout of their supporters.

But, I'd consider voting Tory* just because in a load of cheating, lying shits, they are the cheating lying shits with the most style. Duck Islands, drawbridge wax and second cheetah allowances for all!

*this statement for the purposes of satire. I wouldn't vote Tory.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

You dirty stopout, TMB.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

not really
I've got a hockey game and the national stadium's the other side of town and the MG is being MOT'd so I might have to use a bus and that.

I might have a pint or two, on the way back, like. OFFLINE.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:04, archived)

sounds like a very good plan, to me.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 15:10, archived)

How can I vote now
when I have just found out David Carradine has committed suicide
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

VOTE TENTACLE FOR BLOOD LETTING ON A SCALE NEVER SEEN BEFORE
we also have very firm policies on pedestrian safety.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

Everyone should vote DG
I would have my 'Gum Babes' like that Tony Blair stunt, but they would all be Pugs in 60s wigs.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:49, archived)

You fucking tory cunt
It makes no difference whatsoever IMO if we have a labour or conservative government. All that changes is the rhetoric and the faces, the net effect to your daily life = fuck all.

FUCK ALL.

Labour are now unelectable, much as the Tories were under Major.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:50, archived)

now I don't entirely agree with that,
but it does very much seem amongst the major parties (and probably the small ones too) that their decisions are all made in the interests of the party, rather than the interests of the nation. On a good day the two happen to coincide.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:52, archived)

it is true
You get tories in, taxes dont go up by as much, but inflation increases pace so the extra money in your pocket goes less far.

They all take with one hand and give with the other. Net effect = FUCK ALL
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

taxes aren't the only thing.
although to be honest I struggle to see how Labour are any more left-wing than the conservatives, which was kind of the point of them at one time.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

Hello the big fat complaints department.
JMG here.
What's the current agenda for you, the internet whales?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

Hello JMG
I feel in the mood to complain, and now you're here I shall.
Stop repeating yourself you fat bald dole Geordie cunt.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

:(!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Don't worry Jammer
I only said those things to conform with all the fat messes on this board.
I secretly loath them all.
Except that Donkey fellow.
(

SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

Have you flown already JMG?
My agenda today is to buy some nice white wine and drink it later. Possibly with some more nice white wine.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

The JMG Tour of Duty and Misery Avoidance is very much in full swing.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

I hope you enjoy visiting the foreigners in their rude huts you spread the word of Joy and Non-Fat throughout the empire

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

mmmm wine

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

It has been a while since I last had the wine
And it's so sunny I think it's definitely white wine season
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

The bairn is being a bit daft, and the woman is happy because Sims 3 arrived today.
I'm still undecided as to who I'm going to vote for.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

Ah yes.. I voted incredibly early, this time round.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

Did you vote Anti-fat ?
Most of these wobblers will never be able to exercise their democratic rights until voting goes ONLINE.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

We should roll these people to polling booths.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

HOW MAN
YIZ'LL HAV TE BRING A SLDGEHAMMA TO KNOCK THEY DOORS ABOOT A BIT AS THEZ'LL NEVAH FIT OOT THEM FOWAH FOOT WIDE HURLES.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

YOU FAHKIN' FAAAIRY!
You ain't got a fahkin scooby mate.
Oim a fahkin gang-star innit. Bo'!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

I can't vote this time round
my parents removed me from their address and I was also not on the place we're at now. The spango vote will go unplaced this time.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

Monday's news:
BNP WIN ELECTION BY ONE VOTE
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

:((((
IT'S ALL MY FAULT
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

I no.
I forgot to register again, doh.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I'm planning dinner.
That's lunch to you southerners. I shall go the shop to get some bread.

WHO WANTS CRISPS?
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

cold shower
possibly change my mind about voting.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

VOTE MAN PET.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

What's the point?
I don't know what any of the candidates stand for, so it would effectively be a random decision, and the European Parliament doesn't even do anything anyway.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

Votefor the one with the silliest name.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

Because then you can complain when the country goes even further along the road to hell in a handbasket.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

or more honestly
you can't be arsed to find out what the european parliament does.
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

I know what it does.
It does piss all. The European Commission does it all, and they're not elected. All the European Parliament have the power to do is get upset about it.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

It's retarded opinions like this that mean the voting system isn't that fair.
It should be illegal to not vote, then at least the numbers would be more accurate.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

It doesn't really matter how accurate the numbers are,
when they concern a completely ineffectual non-government.
I voted in the national and Scottish elections.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

You really are an imbecile.
Either that, or dekion's sock puppet account.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

Youn are.
You appear to be labouring under the misapprehension that the European parliament isn't an absolute farce of an elaborate pretence at democracy.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

your understanding
of EU decision making is out of date by a treaty or two. you're almost at UKIP levels.
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

FUCK YOU I WON'T TIDY MY BEDROOM etc.
Grow up.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that it is.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

True or false:
European legislation is proposed by the European Commission, which is appointed, not elected.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

yeah!
they wanna make the queen eat straight bananas!
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

true or false

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

THEY RILLY DOOO

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

i forgot how stupid your arguments were.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

The President of the European Commission's wife has a terrible perm

TRUE OR FALSE?
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Harriet Harman once single-handedly fought off a gang of bikers when they tried to steal her wind-up radio.
TRUE OR FALSE?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

PRESIDENT OBAMA'S DOG IS REALLY A FRENCH ROBOT

OMG! True or false?
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

TRUE

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

true or false: the council asks the commission to come up with this legislation

true or false: the council and parliament both have the power to knock said legislation on its head or completely change it
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

is that some kind of answer?
ok.
true. But the council isn't who I'm voting for here either.
true. The "parliament" is similar to the House of Lords in that respect, although it has to make its decision in parallel with the Council of Ministers, which is also not elected.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

hahahaha, what I said is true so I'm right

the council is made up of the elected governments of the member states, I'm not sure it's fair to complain that we don't get to vote in all of the elections.
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

yes well I do vote in national elections.
only I struggle to find the enthusiasm to vote for a body of people who can't actually implement any policies I agree with (which is normally how I'd make my decision), but can only delay or revise legislation that I can't possibly predict in advance.

(what I said was true as well, btw...)
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

did you know that my mother once punched Jacques Delors' horse?
www.b3ta.com/talk/6198176
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

I don't know what is going on here,
this is most peculiar technique.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

she's left handed

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

I stand by my original point

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

as in the party you support
or as in actually doing it?
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:55, archived)

actually doing it.
it would involve getting dressed and leaving the house and I can't be bothered.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

I would officially note you as stupid if you don't.
Or at least take every oppotunity to remind you that your political opinions are null on the basis that when you had a chance to have your say you didn't take it.

And i'll burn your embassy.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

^This.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

Picking a party on the basis of no information is not "having your say".

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

Then do a bit of research.
It's all readily available on your local internets.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

it's not like you don't have the time to find out

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

I dont like to berate you, but (correct me if i'm wrong of course) you aren't doing anything else
so why not read the manifestos and form an opinion.
A weak vote is still better than none.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

because it's thoroughly dull.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

Yeah, it's only important if you give a flying fuck how the country is run.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

It's not about how the country is run,
it's about how Europe isn't run.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:06, archived)

It's all going to be the same thing eventually.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

That's something I'd vote against.
I'd have voted against the Euro constitution if it had got far enough for us to be given a chance, and I'd vote against it again unless they sorted one out that wasn't blatantly idiotic.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

that's why people like you aren't allowed to decide stuff like that

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)

vote UKIP then?

(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

No they're a bunch of sabotaging fools.
I'd vote yes to a European constitution that actually made sense, because I'm not against Europe on principle.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

I wont deabte it any
further with you. But at least vote for somone who serves some (one even)of your interests.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Fair enough.
But I really will pile on you next time you say anything political, or even about employment laws, issues or skills.

And if you think manifestos are dull wait unitl i'm finished my spiel.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:07, archived)

Drank too much coffee.
Caffeine shakes.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

Don't you feel all drowsy and edgy now?
I do when I have too many coffees.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

I'll feel drowsy later, but right now I'm all edgy buzzy and shakey.
Give it 20 mins and I'll feel fucking horrible.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

i think i'm going to go to the cricket later.
how about that then? eh?
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:57, archived)

OH SANDY!
You lovely young man.
I trust you'll be applauded in to the pavilion, possibly being asked to open the batting.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

it has happened before.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

I thought you were dying
I want my money back.
(thediscokingpin, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

we're all dying, darling.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:08, archived)

I'm pregnant with alien twins

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

:(

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:14, archived)

they're slowly devouring my insides
they'll keep me alive until they are ready to be born, then they'll eat eat my skin and bones and wear my face
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

Whilst SCREEEEEEEing at each other in joy.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

i've seen that happen before.
it's upsetting for everyone. my heart is with you and your loved ones.
x
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

what shall i do though

(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

i don't know,
but know that my thoughts are with you.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:35, archived)

gotta laugh
LOL
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

i am too full because i ate a greasy bacon and egg sandwich for lunch AND NOW I CAN HARDLY MOVE.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:58, archived)

you need to
HAVE A BIG SHIT
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

NO TREADY YET.
maybe a mug of tea will help.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

A plunger
or a jet of caffeineated water up your bumhole.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:04, archived)

Mix a teaspoonfull of coffee granules with a couple of drops of red bull
push paste up bottom, wait.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

HOW MAN I HAVE GAZZED YE ABOOT ALL THESE BARNACLES ON ME BALEEN AND THAT !

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)

work avoidance
then regret and self loathing for said work avoidance, followed by a flurry of frantic activity.
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:02, archived)

Jammy, I'm going to be honest, my phone bill this month is nearly £1400.
However, the good news is the O2 have something called "Call Shock" for cases like these, where they knock the bill out (you can only do it once per situation, like 'data roaming charges'), which is most excelent news.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

How much is Mykeys mum charging per minute for her sex chat these days ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)

How the fuck did you manage that?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:09, archived)

whoah
that's pretty good
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)

Explain more about "Call Shock".
And how the hell did you manage that?!
(

Jobe, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:11, archived)

Is that all?
You silly English
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

the offices electrical supply is still off, edf have turned up but the engineers can not work on the 10kva trannie
i'm blaming you for this shit
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I'm not surprised
I'd not touch a bloke with tits running that kind of voltage without at the very least a pink lamee step-down converter with kitten heels.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

whoa, i was wrong it's 1000kva trannie pushing out 1600 amps, bloody edf sent a low voltage engineer
i want to go home but as soon as the power goes back on all our acb's and shit will pop, meh
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

too much outdoors, jmg
my pasty internet hide cannot take any more, yet i must go out again. woe is me

still. today i have signed a contract for work, played some football, voted, and bought barbecue bits. and the day is still young. win!
(

spacefish bong!, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I just found out
if you google the phrase "spacker bogs" then you can find 3 forum posts made by me.

i'm a bad person.

how have you accidentally identified yourself on the interweb?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

I am the authentic GIVER!
lol
(likeajackhammer, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

In other News:
NEAR THE TOP!
(likeajackhammer, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:15, archived)

My Baby P quip that got onto the popular page was found by some members of a rather respectable forum I used to go on.
They didn't like it.
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

Ha,
Did they get all internet-serious with you?
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

Oh yes.
I got e-scorned :(
(

Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

heheh
hooray for difficult to google user names
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:03, archived)

If you google 'BraynDedd' there are 2 results that aren't me.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

apparently
Gormo was a Duros stranded in the Iziz cantina for two weeks during the Onderon Civil War without a starport visa.

I acquired the name for being a gormless shit-prawn.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:18, archived)

there are a couple of rhcpauls that aren't me
one is on twitter, the other is on some html help forum
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:37, archived)

My name is Alex
WHOOPS I've let the cat out of the bag now
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

Oooh, I'm the first hit on google when you type in Captain Wow.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:17, archived)

Not the second though :)

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:20, archived)

Me too

(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

I just found this on google

Someone made a web page out of one of my shit compo entries
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:21, archived)

You've got copyright on that image, you know.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:23, archived)

You could sue them for unlawful misuse or something.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:25, archived)

Way too much hassle for my liking
It was a shit image anyway
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:26, archived)

SOMEONE CALL INTERNETLAWYERMAN!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:27, archived)

^This.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

Unless it "No win no Fee"
he can fuck off
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:29, archived)

I type in Donkey Gums into google images and it's just a collection of girls screaming

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:33, archived)

An image search for your name is odd
I get this
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:34, archived)

Pierced babies are the sign of unfit parents.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:36, archived)

It's not my child
I'm sorry, don't hit me
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

I was just being opinionated.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

Sorry! Sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:45, archived)

its quite cute though.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:42, archived)

The baby is, yeah.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:43, archived)

you've got to let the pressure out,
otherwise they burst.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

I hate this too
Little turb0t is only 2 and half, and she has asked for her ears to be like mummy's ears, and we have told her that she can't have her ears pierced yet, and that she can when she is bigger.
She now points to mummy's ears and says "When I'm bigger".
(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

This is good parenting, here.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

good work.
i think there are a lot of ways to be worse parents than pierced babies... but it certainly isnt a good sign.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:47, archived)

We saw a fat scummy mess of a woman in town yesterday who had one of those twin pushchairs,
with two of the most monstrous, fat, chavvy, pierced little shits you ever did see, and another one running around trashing a shop.
My description is quite basic, but it was a shining example of bad parenting.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

It disturbs me on occasion to see
kids who appear to be of primary school age being pushed around in push chairs.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:53, archived)

There's a lot of that goes on in Sheffield.
It's a bit saddening, really.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)

JMG's mum is a prime example of bald parenting.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

So peircing babies on large spikes isn't all that bad?

(

SuperMatt, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

Kebabby

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:54, archived)

Referring to your winky as a 'large spike' is a tad ambitious.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:01, archived)

I got both mine done when I was 3 weeks old and had pearl earrings

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

I bet you had necklaces like Mr T has as well.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)

And a mohawk

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)

you lied, why did you do that? lying is wrong

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

fucking is
see
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

i can haz pololol minz now pls

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:41, archived)

No it isn't
(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

I did a search for yours and I got pictures of 12 bald tongues

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:39, archived)

show me

(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:40, archived)

lol JMG tongue

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)

*turns off safe search*
*types in clagnut*
*Boiks*

i haven't actually tried this........yet
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:46, archived)

i'm second on google when you search "goblin pancreatic cancer"

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:44, archived)

ooof
I'm 2nd on the list when i google Clagnut BGN
(

Gooch Is neither here nor there, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:49, archived)

when you type glued eel into google

it asks Did you mean: Your mum?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:52, archived)

The word Gormo
is bringing back some lovely memories
(

100% kitten better than ever, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)

Gay Penguins rear adopted chick
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8081829.stm

I can't help but think they could've named the article better.
(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Hello you.
How goes it in your world?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

Ahh my world
is okay. I'm currently eating chips and redesigning my website.

Is your world nice?
(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

My world is a change from my old, but not as good with no money.
I do have a a job though.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

chef?

(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

Yep, but I'll gladly do whatever they wish me to do, until the functions bookings pick up again.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

'gay penguins' put penis up adopted chick?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

IMMIGRANT PENGUINS RAPE INNOCENT LOCAL CHICK SHOCKER!

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

Vote for the BNP today
and this is all you'll get.
(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

penguins are sexual deviants.
They've got a gay community and the women whore themselves for rocks.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

REAR

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:58, archived)

guardian reader:
www.b3tards.com/u/e4669b5cc2655a0f11eb/train.jpg
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

Except that isn't the guardian,
is it.
(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

actually, no,
it's the observer.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:00, archived)

I surmised as much.
The Observer seems to me as though it's written by kids who one day want to make a grown-up newspaper. It's like Nephew Of Guardian.
(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

oh fuck off you tedious, worthless poof.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

I'VE GOT CHICKEN AND CHIPS
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT
IS IT TASTY
IS IT
IS IT
(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

a pork pie.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

but thank goodness you are here to point out the important stuff.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:02, archived)

I'm not quite sure how the lunch threads have survived without me.

(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

i've got pancreatic cancer.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

but we are all fighting it, online, sort of together, although you are the one doing it offline, chin up young man

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:28, archived)

it is an onward uphill battle mongy.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:30, archived)

i dedicated a chevron to you early this morning, i know it's not much but i'll do all i can, be brave

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:32, archived)

i appreciate your bold efforts

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:35, archived)

I would like to sell you this ointment to cure your cancer
Only £4999
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:04, archived)

+VAT

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

i think it's clearing up on its own actually.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:07, archived)

I did a real life out loud proper laugh at that

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:16, archived)

That little one out of the dance group Diversity
is not, as I first thought, female.

/Learnt something new today
(

Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

RACIST

(

hexachordal la la la la la, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:03, archived)

Heeeeex
hello. It doesn't seem that odd that two male penguins would rear a chick really. I'm sure in the male penguin's brain a chick is a chick, and if presented with an egg they'd just rear it as usual. They didn't have to do penguin bummings to make the chick in the first place.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:13, archived)

Yesterday I had to wander about with a massive gash under my tounge
Because I stabbed myself with a toothbrush.

Later I burnt my eye with fag-ash.

How have you stupidly injured yourself recently?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

Pfft
'Massive gash'
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

I used to work with a chap called Mike Gash.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/mike_litoris.jpg
(

Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

i scraped my arm on a barbed wire fence
and i cut a small hole in it with a scalpel.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

and a month or so ago i grazed a few square centimetres of skin off my knuckles, because i was druink and confused and there was a wall i bashed them against.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

My mate shoved me into a wall when we were both langered on goon.
That was fun at the time...
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

on purpose?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

We were both pissed and shoving each other.

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

i was alone and scratching the blood out of my arm.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

I have to force myself not to pick at scabs and the like when drunk.
No pain limit then.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

yes that's how my knuckles got quite so ragged.
at the time all they did was weep.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

Haven't.
But I haven't used my knives that much, so that may be a factor.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

Cut my palm open splitting a small piece of wood
Mmmm white fatty bits poking out.
(

M o D, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

*Boke*

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

I had to push the insides of my thumb back in once after cutting it with a kitchen knife.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

i accidentally chopped myself in the nads
it was horrible
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Pfft, gash.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

yeah, fag-ash

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Fag gash?
RECTUM.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

I just picked myself up on the arms of my chair so I could sit cross legged
and when I picked my legs up to tuck them underneath me, I SMASHED the side of my patella on the desk. Ow.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

You keep hurting yourself Wow.
Are you sure you don't need someone to keep an eye on you?
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

ARGH, REAL NAMES

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

Why the name? Why the spelling it like that?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

I don't know why and I thought that's how you spelled it (How little I know)
Appologies if I offend.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I didn't know there was another way to spell it

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

Fay, Faye, Fae...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

This is why people always put a second 't' in my name :(

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

Fayett?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

Haha delightful :)

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

mathew?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

-Y
No offence, I was just wondering.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

She might let you off if you offer her some Eccles cake

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

NOM

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

I'll do better than that.
Rich chocolate brownies stuffed to the gills with weed.

Only snag is she has to come to australia to claim them.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:51, archived)

Far too hot, I'd die.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

It'll only be as warm as 20 degrees up until august.
Book tickets quick.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:56, archived)

I recently walked into the bathtub.
I think I may have forgot it was there or something.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I've always got bruises up and down my shins.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

I'm not sure, although I do it all the time
And I do have a mysterious bruise on my knee.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

*bums*

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

Hey you!
How goes it?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

It goes.
Still minorly broke but have a job of sorts and going to try and beg extra shifts doing anything until kitchen picks up.
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

Well hurry up and get rich so you can pay for my flight!
:P
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

Fuck that!
I need money to fund my residency bid.

:-P
(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

Paper cuts on my tongue from envelope licking.
Sunburn.
Cutting myself with my own nails cos they're too long.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Sunburn? With your hair?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

I'm a day walker.
I can tolerate the sun for longer than most of my ginger brethren. Just forgot to put suncream on this time. No biggie. *shrugs*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I got a cut on my tongue from licking windows :(

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

I am anti-clumsy
I hardly ever hurt myself due to coordination and non awareness issues.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

Walls bump into me, and then apologise.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

your mum makes you go everywhere in one of those plastic bubbles
that's why you don't get hurt
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

YI DON'T YIKE GERMS!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:32, archived)

I think I might be dyspraxic.
I'm constantly doing mongy things and I used to get extra time in school exams for having shit handwriting.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

maybe you're just a bit thick with meat-hands

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

occams razor, nice

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

His knuckle dimples wobble after he claps

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

Clumsy people are fucking adorable, Gums.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:39, archived)

Girls yes, because you get to catch them and act all gentlemanly about accidently honking their bewbies. Guys, no. It just makes you look like a doofus

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

Oh alright then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

I should tape you to my back
I'm a clumsy falling-over oaf.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Surely you'd always be taped to my back, unless I always pull a pose of a falling cat :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

We could swap, to give each other a break
you might drag on the floor when it's my turn to walk though.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

as long as you put castors on the back of his heels he'd be fine.
Give him something to read...
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

I have a spot on my cheek and I cannot stop picking it
Over the weekend I managed to cut my leg moving garden chairs after the family BBQ, get a massive friction burn on my knee (yes a friction burn ON MY KNEE hmmm) after sliding across the floor competing with the official wedding photographer to get a prime photo (I WON) and I managed to stab a knife right down into my thumb nail.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

Stop being such a spaz.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

Ouch.
I jumped off the arm of the sofa and caught my arm on the back of it, just a graze though.

Apart from that, fighting fit.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

I accidentally fed all my limbs into a shredder

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

oh gludelroo, you're SILLY

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

I type this on a big keyboard on the floor like the piano in Big
but instead of joyfully dancing on the keys like tom hanks I have to wriggle and weep
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

An appalling lack of turtle power :(

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

I got my rucksack caught on the escalator to the picadilly line and cut my leg
I laughed as I'm sure lots of others did
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

was it on your back and you are really short?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

This is not the links page
www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2463739/Dad-of-two-Bill-Turner-rides-to-pub-on-a-zebra.html
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

He's just painted a donkey.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

I'm now thinking of a donkey with loads of make up
dressed as a whore.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

That's the best description someone's ever said about me

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

A Hee-Whore?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

pfft!
i guess there is some merit to your endless joke attempts after all :p
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

A high class asscort.

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

How's the toothagony today?
Any relief in sight? I recommend class A narcotics.
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

BTW...
... How do you know what Jordans face looks like when she's on the shitter?
(

lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

That's nothing
I ride two pelicans to work, each day. Like rollerskates.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

ZEBRAS DONT HAVE BRAINS?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

apparently not!
also, that 'jokey pub sign' is so inept
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

Where does it say they have no brains?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

near the bottom of the article. I am guessing what they mean is "they're thick so you cant train them"

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Ahhh, I was being blind.
They are notoriously stubborn and bolshy, he's one of very few to break one in.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

THEY DONT HAVE BRAINS.
this makes them useful animals in zombie attacks.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

Bill said: "They say zebras are so hard to train because they don't have any brains and panic easily.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

~~zebras~~ red top readers
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

OOOH, BURN

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

I would have thought that The Sun could use something better than MS Paint to resize the picture.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

I want one.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Having a barbecue?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

no it's not this is the /bingo forum
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/19822
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Oh, bother.
I'm away having fun in another country that day.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

It's actually a balsa wood forum that has lost it's way,
nobody wants to discuss whittling techniques and dowelling anymore :(
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

my favourite whittling technique is 'The Channel'
what's yours?
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I favour 'The Scrape' as it leaves a nice finish.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

I was down my local the other day
and a bloke turned up wearing a pair of slippers made out of Jodie Marsh's flap-leather.

She has them trimmed twice a year and sells the excess skin to Churches who make brogues out of them.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

I seen those.
They have a well hammered finish.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

i've signed up for your bash
i've never been to one of yours before
convince everyone i like to sign up too, please

aside from those who already have, natch.
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

Ah good.
It will be awesome. I've a little surprise for this one but I'm not telling.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

GASP!

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

i've signed up but i just like adding my name to lists of names

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

Fair dos,
but it might just be worth coming for this one. Oh yes.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

i've found people just moan at me these days at bashes and i wouldn't trust b3tans around my bivvy in a month of sundays

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Bivvies are for poofs
All you need is a tarp and hammock
(

M o D, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

Any man who is protective of his bivvy
can never be moaned at.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

i could use my jrc stealth, that never gets used these days anyway and if people were mean to i wouldn't cry as hard
but the last time i attended a bash some bird kicked off at me for being mean to her online, it was dull
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Haha! Who was that?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

I heard that if you bring your bivvy to a bash, that some other clique are going to use non regulation knots to tie it up.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Why do they moan at you?
Your bivvy might get some love if it was taken to a bash.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

if by that you mean someone might spunk on it, then yes

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

The Zebra cant be domesticated
this is a load of shit.

Why do you think you never see Maasai riding around on Zebra in Africa ?

I am shocked at such an August organ as the sun perpetuating lies such as this.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

I am not a student.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

GET A JOB.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Sha na na na, sha na na na na

(

M o D, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Graduand or dolescum?

(

Taylorcamb, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

Lord Rothschild used to ride
a zebra drawn carriage around my home town.
(

M o D, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

Time for the 11.14am joke
A woman was rehearsing a dance routine for Britain's Got Talent and did the splits. Unfortunately it was in the bathroom and she accidentally suction cupped her clunge to the tiles. Her husbands tried in vain to pull her off but to no avail. He called in his mate who suggested he fetched a hammer and broke the tile. The man thought for a bit and said, "OK you fetch the hammer and I'll flick her bean".
"Why would you want to flick her bean now?"
"Well I think, if I can get her wet enough, we could slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive".
Your turn.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Could he not just have used
a bit of egg yolk or some lube ?

I'm not sure about this concept.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

couldn't they have slashed her flesh with a machete to break the seal?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

or just moved house
and remarried.

It's what I would have done.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

well she did want to go on that talent shit programme, so yeah. ditch the bitch.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

Egg yolk?
You must be a right bedroom oddity.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

Yeah dude
better than melty butter or lard.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

but it gets stickier the thinner it gets.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

STOP TAKING THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY ONLINE

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

OH
I actually thought you meant you used egg yolk as a lubricant.

Alright, calm yourself you girl.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

Lubricant ?
I use my charm as a lubricant. When I speak gently and soothingly to a woman even her bum wets up.

I've given a woman a wide on with no more than a cheeky wink in the past.

Lubricant my arse.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

So when do these effects kick in, then?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

When I talk to a sexy lady.
OFFLINE.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

Oh I seeee.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

You dont
cause I am online.

If you could see, you'd be wet like a ducks cloaca.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

You might not be my type.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:37, archived)

Goaty is everyone's type
You'd have a wide-on like a wizard's sleeve and be wetter than an otter's pocket.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

I resent all this wide-on talk.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

Don't resent your wide-on
Embrace it. But carefully.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Lest I fall in myself and become an Escher drawing.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Endlessly falling, throughout time

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

damn straight
it'll be slippy. don't want to drop it mid-embrace.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

Do you fancy Comedy dave?
If so, you'll LOVE GW.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

Who?!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

I look fuck all like comedy Dave
and besides I'm not even interested in getting off with ladies I met whilst talking about having unwanted sex with menstruating dogs.

Even if I was 17 and a virgin I'd still think twice about taking a ladyb3tan up on an offer of some "fun involving nudity and bums"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

I don't think that was me, somehow.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

i have a thing for men who wink at me.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

Men who say things like toots
and call women broads. Oh yes.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

YOU'VE GOT BROADTOOTS
KANNY LAD!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:45, archived)

i dont mind toots.
but i don't associate winking with that kind of guy.

the man who winks most at me is an accountant.
i think it might be a tic.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:48, archived)

When you see a man you like
piss in his eye.

That will give the impression he's coming on to you.

And to be fair, after you've done a wee in his face, he probably will be.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

A CLASSY TIP.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

what about men who can't wink properly without hitching up a whole half of their face?
are they to be denied any binkylove?!
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

DEPENDS IF IT IS CUTE and is they maintain eye contact with the free eye.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

the problem with binkylove is there's just too much of it :(
i am always falling in love and never out of it.

i'm constant in my affections, but easily impressed.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

i have spacky eyes
i can't raise one eyebrow either

but thanks for the tip!
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

I CAN RAISE EITHER OR NEITHER OR BOTH.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I AM SURPRISINGLY JEALOUS

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)

*waggles smugly*

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

*both eyebrows droop symmetrically*
sadface, I CAN MANAGE THAT
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

dawww.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you like because it can't chase you.

/made up 10 seconds ago.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

What do you call a man with a cock on his head ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

cock head?

(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

Hutch

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Tommy COOPer
you silly cunt.

Rabbits live in hutches
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

No they don't, they live in Dams. fucking got brain flidism you have.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

Like fuck they do
you're thinking of beavers, beavers live in dams.

Rabbits either live in Hutches (Domesticated) or Warrens (Wild)

Hamsters live in yourmumscunt
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

BEAVERS LIVE IN NESTS YOU DIBBLE CHINNED TIT REST!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

FUCK A MENSTRUATING DOG YOU SACK OF CHIMPS VOMIT
Birds live in nests.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

BIRDS LIVE UNDERGROUND IN BURROWS YOU DOUBLE DICK EYED SPASTIC MAGNET!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

YOU FESTERING PILE OF PENSIONERS JOBBIES
how dare you suggest subterranean domiciles for avian entities on a public forum ? It's worms, moles and the ginger that lives underground.

AND DONT YOU FORGET IT SONNY MI'LAD
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

DUCKS LIVE UNDER WHEELBARROWS
THEY QUACK AT ME AND I GET SCARED D:
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

*sneaksneaksneaksneak*
QUACK!
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

D':

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

only kiddin' DG. it's just meeeee
i'm no duck!

I'M ACTUALLY 14 DUCKS PILED ON TOP OF EACH OTHER WEARING A MASK AND A FANCY TSHIRT
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

C: V== QUAACKK!!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS
and you'd think i would, being 14 ducks
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:47, archived)

BEAVERS LIVE IN PANCE!

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

only Pench beavers

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

Hoovers live in dams.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

Cats live in a flock
And they stand on one leg, gobbling shrimp and that's why they are pink.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

You're thinking of nipples there
White ladies nipples
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

Really? ah fuck. I always get confused with those...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

is the bathroom next to the kitchen then ?
I have carpet between my kitchen and the bathroom, she would get rather nasty carpet burns on her lips.
(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

come to think of it
the suction on the risers as she came down the stairs would make it rather tricky to move her.
(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

well presumably she wouldn't stay suctioned on if it was carpet

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

Morning sex.. (as you can tell this is copied and pasted from an email, although it's still poor my spelling and grammar is better than this).
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment!' My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!'Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards, she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer's broken'
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

pfft.

(

Batsgirl, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

A man was in the butchers buying some sausages, when a dog came in.
The dog approached the counter, leaped up and barked at the butcher. The butcher came along and took a note out from the dog's collar, and went and prepared some steak, some kidneys and liver. He wrapped it all up and hung it from the dog's collar. The dog then barked again and the butcher reached into the collar again and took some money, and gave the dog too little change. The dog started growling and the butcher, a bit taken aback, gave the correct change.

After this the dog hops down and leaves the shop. The man decides to follow it, thinking 'what an amazing dog'. The dog hops on the bus and travels a few stops, then gets off and heads down to a housing estate. Reaching a particular house, the dog goes down the path and reears up and presses the doorbell.

A few seconds later a large man emerges from the house and starts violently beating the dog around the head with a newspaper.

The man runs up and says "OI! That dog's amazing, why are you doing that?"

The large man replies "I told him what would happen if he forgot his keys again"
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

I only got an orange at Man United

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

he he

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

i don't get it

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

Try using a different aftershave.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

i've never been one for aftershave, perhaps i should try

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

It's never too late.
I suggest Paco Rabanne.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

How many Thatcherites does it take to change a lightbulb ?
None. It's up to the private sector to provide the finance for it.
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Nacho cheese.

I LOVE this joke.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

i dont get it.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

NO WAIT NOW I DO.
i said it aloud.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

it's funny.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

hee hee

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

really?
say it out loud
sounds like "not yo' cheese"
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:28, archived)

THREE MINUTES TOO SLOW, mister

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

I'M AT WORK!
jus' trying to help
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

:D

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:40, archived)

Haha that took me far too long to get
I told it to my friends and now they say I am shit
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

I love YOU

(

RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

How do you make a sausage roll?
Put it in a dunflapper!
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:26, archived)

How do you make a sausage roll?
Make Mykey get an errection
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:31, archived)

How do you make a swiss roll ?
Take him to the top of a mountain and cut off his arms and legs.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

How do you make a jam sandwich?
Use Paul Weller as the filling.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:41, archived)

are we telling jokes?
i love jokes
killingthejoke.blogspot.com/
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
It had probably escaped from someone's hen house and would have been absolutley terrified. It would not have had any particular destination in mind, but was trying to find shelter from the traffic. Call the police and/or the RSPCA unless it is safe to attempt catching it yourself and returning it to safety.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

i'll stick that on there and credit you
CHEERS
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

The Britains Got Talent reference makes it modern!

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

you've changed
all of you.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Yeah, it seemed appropriate to not wear pyjamas to my old place of employment.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

These are the most ridiculous tits I've seen in a while:
NSFW
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

It's like you could lob them off with a karate chop.

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

i hate nsfw :(

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

Ridiculousy sticky out boobies.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

oh.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

nude?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

No
She has some bikini contraption holding them to her chest.

I suspect when she takes it off, they float away and bob about on the ceiling.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

so tempted to look.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

It's just four girls in a bikini, it's not that bad.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

FOUR GIRLS IN ONE BIKINI?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

YEAH, IT'S AMAZING

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

It's barely worth it
just a bunhc of plastic looking slags in bikinis and one of them has mutant tits that are probably 0.1% as sexy as the small ones that got her so depressed she had to have them changed.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

it's the talking about it that i like anyway.
phwoar. boobies.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

yeah
better to have natural ones, even a bit droopy and wrinkled like a hippos goolie sack, than horrid fake tits.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT MY BOOBIES ARE LIKE?

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:25, archived)

stonking great tits!

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

She looks like her plastic surgeon learned about big tits
from the drawings of a perverted 8 year old boy.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

This.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Fake tits
least sexy of all teh jellyfish family.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

they have to be kept in a cage

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

TIT CAGE

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

NIC CAGE'S MORE TALENTED BROTHER

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

the girl with the curly hair
does have some rather plastic looking tits.
and the girl on the left, looks like a vampire.
(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

...the heck?

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

*howls at the full moon*

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Of course, I'm hardly going to wear the same pants for 2 weeks in a row like last month.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

But dude
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8081829.stm
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

i just BET they 'reared' it
filthy buggers
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

I am eternal and everlasting
I am the one constant in this universe
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

I have.
I'm more tanned and freckly than red now. YAY.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:17, archived)

VOTE BNP

(__, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

HAHAHA BUM LOLS.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

i am sorry. that was totally an a/c :(

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

Liar
you ACTUALLY Laughed out of your bumhole.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

Do not vote for BNP

(__, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

I VOTE FOR WHOM I LIKE.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

i just ordered the mister's birthday present.
a 3L camelbak and a wicky tshirt.

FOR MOUNTAIN BIKING.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

I got a cheapo 1.5L one for a tenner in Tesco, it's veh good.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

yayyy

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

i was working on the basis of "you can underfill it but you don't want one too small"
he often goes out for the whole day and currently takes a real backpack with a bottle of water.
(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

NO WAIT I MEAN DON'T. DON'T VOTE BNP. DON'T DO IT

(__, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

I won't vote for the BNP in spirit.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

Shut the fuck up you lol whacky retard.
/ac
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

what is the correct spelling of whacky/wacky?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

I dunno, I always spell it 'whacky'.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

For me,
that way has more connotations of slapstick.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Yeah, wacky looks unfinished.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

"Whacky" makes me think you go around "whacking" people,
like out of open windows with a plank of wood and stuff.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

Both are acceptable.
"whack·y (hwk, wk)
adj. Slang
Variant of wacky."
(

Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

I'd spell it wacky
but only because whacky makes me think of something being hit lots.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

FREEDOM OF SPEECH FOR EVERYONE, EXCEPT THOSE WHO GO AGAINST THE MAJORITY!

(likeajackhammer, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

That's Sammi's job.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

VOTE THEOBAN

(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

I thought you were voting for me.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

I voted for you already
But they should vote for me
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

nope

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

i'm going to send those clowns a message
by staying home on election day and dressing up as a clown
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

not really

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

I'm voting for your MOTHER

(

Cae1, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

If you were a website you'd be Facebook, because your face is as wide as an opened encyclopedia.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Mr poo thinks
bookshop owners should annoy Christians by putting the Bible in the 'Fiction' section of your shop where, joking aside, it actually belongs
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

your subject line is a terrible lie

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

it may not
have been me who thought it initally, but i do think it
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

Yes, let's all irritate a large group of people
who have done absolutely nothing wrong save subscribing to a particular belief system. That's a great idea.
(

Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

Any belief system is open to being mocked though.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

I'd still expect bookshops to categorise things correctly.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

It's too early in the morning for me to be riled by religion
so I'll just say Yes, ok.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

It is my belief that I am correct about everything.

(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

here
here
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

no, it's an old joke
also, i was taking the subject line as seperate from the rest of the post to suggest that you don't ever actually think.

it was a mild insult because i've not been too impressed with the quality of your posts thus far.
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

fair enough
i agree that i could do better
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

I agree immensly
with rhcpaul
(S.I.M.O.N. wants a piece of your coopcock., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

no it doesn't you lolrhetorical prat.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

You think?
I think. I think you're an idiot.
(

Bats, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

no electric in this building till 1220, oh joy, watching fat people having to use stairs instead of the lifts

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

can the steps take the strain?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

you'd think it was the end of the world, people getting all moaning, no internet or phones
i'm ok, my power is on, i'm considered essential
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

ha
I got a physically manifested spam this morning from Virgin Media. It began about how in these hard-up times we're all penny pinching, but you wouldn't want to compromise on your television, would you?
Identification of luxury fail.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

Last time our power went out
I got up and headed to the fuse box, while 3 other people went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea...
(

magnum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

do you have an old style whistling kettle
and a gas stove ?
(

turb0t, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

i've had a few calls from people wondering why things won't work, fucking divs
it's a complete 3 phase power faliure, i'm loving it, except when the power goes back on the surge will trip all the mcbs and then i'll be a busy boy
(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

our department is on the second floor
we get people up here who genuinely get too puffed out to speak climbing up 2 flights of stairs
it's pathetic
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

people here want to go home rather than climb stairs, i might turn the back up generator off, see how they like it in the dark

(

mongychops, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

we got sent home once because there was no power
but college staff and obviously students are notoriously lazy
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I read that as in '2012', like the olympics.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

Star Wars fan fictions should be in the self help section

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

Damn.
I've already used my Brick Vader ascii quota for the day.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

Dan Brown's books should be in the Bum Dribbly Shit section

(

magnum, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

I think it should go in the Theological section
What with it being Theological.

LOLEXCITING
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

Theological - the logic of Theoban.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

spangological

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

I can't wait to have my own section in bookshops
A big picture of my face above the door.
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

Teleological - the wisdom of Terry Wogan

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

As an ordained minister of the Church of Teh Baybee Jebus, this offends me.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

I'm in the church of facebook.
Instead of Jesus, we have Baby P-sus.
And we believe in peace, love, equality, beating immigrants, and murdering all convicted or suspected paedos.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

Our crucifix is a compass
so that we may praise the holy angles.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

a protractor?

(likeajackhammer, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

Maybe later.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Captain Wow thinks offending potential customers is not a good business strategy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

It depends on what they're buying
If they're buying a pint of offense, then it's bang on
(

Theoban What of it, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

You make a good point.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

Maybe he went to the Bernard Black school of running a book shop.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

I'd love to work in a bookshop like that
mostly for all the wine and Bill Bailey.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:48, archived)

I'm far too much like Fran,
it's quite scary.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

My lizard's named after her
because I think Tamsin Grieg's beautiful.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

aww me too and the BOOKS oh the books.

(

sleepybinky, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

He must have missed the lectures on funny...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Hahahahahha, I'm going to steal that one, I've not heard that before !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

why is everyone berating you?
have you done something wrong in the past?

were you hitler in a former life?
(likeajackhammer, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

im sure i have
and will do again. I was hitler. I quite like it though really.
and they all smell of bums
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

Mrs Sp@m thinks
Shop owners should put you in the stupid section of the shop, where joking aside, you actually belong.

ALSO LOL LOOK AT ME I AM AN ATHEIST THEREFORE I NEED TO TELL THE WORLD ABOUT IT AND BERATE FOLK FOR BELIEVING IN SOMETHING ELSE, DESPITE THE FACT THAT ALOT OF THEM DON'T REALLY MAKE A POINT OF BEING CHRISTIAN.

twat.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Clicking this. Yes, this. One T, one H, absolutely no Ds.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *handbag*
what is to say im an athiest?

i am not berating anyones but simply saying what i believe to be a funny.
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

It's a very old joke,
and about as sophisticated as one of Jim Davidson's.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

But it's not even that funny.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

Tis a shame that our
opinion on what is funny differs. I am profusely sorry for misjudging your sence of humour and promise to try much much harder next time.

regards

m.poo
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

I thought something more along the lines of,
"hey I know how to ingratiate myself with a new set of people - I'll make a joke that's highly critical of Christianity, because they're all bound to be atheist and everyone will think I'm so clever and witty!"
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

not really
just read the joke this morning and thought i would share the cheer. you crazy cats do take yourselves awful serious
(

awsm! namaste bitches, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

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