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To get the debate going
I find that, in general, people who ride motorbikes drive pretty dangerously, especially on motorways when they have a habit of weaving in and out of traffic. Consequently I don't have a lot of sympathy for motorcyclists who get clipped by cars. Discuss.

Or alternatively, I like scones just with butter (or margarine). How do you like scones?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:24, archived)

I like my scones like I like my motorcyclists.
In my mouth.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

And wrapped in leather.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

And with a hard, shiny helmet.
/i feel a bit sick
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

I have some spam
Will anyone read it if I post it here?
(

WormuIus, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

No
unless it involes your cock
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

I used to ride, and I've dated several bikers.
My ex had crashed twice, and both times it was the fault of the teenage girl driving the car he argued with.*

I find that car drivers tend to drive with less care and attention, possibly because of the relatively safe environment they're in.

With lashings of butter and jam.

*Having said that, I also know a chap who's crashed about 6 times in 4 years, and he refuses to admit defeat and get a car. Bloody danger to other road users.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:26, archived)

I'm sure that there are probably equal numbers of bad car
and bike drivers, but surely the person who drives the extremely vulnerable vehicle which only needs a minor tap when going at 90mph to cause instant death shouldn't be the one cutting into the inside lane to go past someone.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

There's cunts everywhere, Holmes.
Power rangers tend to ride like knobheads, but that's just bike pricks (99% of R1 riders, for instance).
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

there are people out there who ride motorbikes badly, yes
also, i imagine that you notice them more than people who ride them well, for obvious reasons.

i like the full works on a scone. also cheese scones with philadelphia and pickle. mmm.
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:27, archived)

dunno about motorcyclists but I have a lot of experience as a cyclist
and I find that generally cyclists are treated like crap by car drivers.
I get honked at for having the audacity to cycle ON THE ROAD OH NOES!
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

people overtake much too close when you're on a bicycle too
bastards
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

Very much yes
especially some of the rich commuter tosspieces round here.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

I've found men in transit vans to be the worst

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

mind you anyone driving an executive car can also be relied on to think they're going somewhere very important
and so to overtake badly.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

'rich commuter tosspieces'

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

This is why I drive a little Renault Clio

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

They always, always are.
I used to have to walk to work via a road that had no paths, so I kept on the verge as much as I could, walked facing traffic etc.

There was one cunt that used to take that road, in his transit van, and try and play chicken with me.

Yes I said walk. Yes I said van.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

fuckers
I assume most of them have micropenises that do not satisfy their trophy wives/girlfriends.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:42, archived)

Just ill-bred, badly raised peasants.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

With jam and clotted cream.
and the same for the scones question.
(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

Cherry scones with jam
or cheese scones with cheese on. OM NOM NOM
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:29, archived)

AND PICKLE

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

The baker down the road makes cheese and bacon scones.
I'm determined to try one soon.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

:O

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

I might make some of those at the weekend.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:38, archived)

>:O

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:56, archived)

If you drive properly
i.e. in the centre of the road, be defensive, always assume cars are not going to notice you so make yourself visible, then you shouldn't get clipped.
Unfortunately, car drivers don't pay attention and some riders drive dangerously because they're on a machine that can.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:30, archived)

this
100%. I wanna get a new bike, my last one got, erm, damaged.....
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

I had one delivered yesterday
:)
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

ooooooooo
what is it!?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:41, archived)

suzuki maruader 125
I just passed my CBT, see. It was sitting in a garage for months so needed a lot of fiddling and playing with the choke to get it going. Needs riding, or a service. Fucking lovely though :) What did you have?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

last bike was an er5
it hit some traffic lights, luckily I slid right past...
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:46, archived)

ooh, very nice
bet that was painful, to be in and on the wallet...
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:50, archived)

nothing wrong with weaving
as long as you are aware of what is around you which is one thing you get a really good appreciation of as a bike rider. if everyone had to learn to ride a motorbike it would make roads safer, I think I am a more aware car driver as a result of learning to ride a motorbike.

scones are shit, too dense and claggy.......
(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

You can be as aware as you like on the bike
but if the car driver isn't expecting you to be coming up the inside fast, then you're still getting knocked off aren't you.

I will say that I know that many car drivers are totally unaware of their surroundings and they annoy me too, but at least if you get bumped in a car by another car, there is much less chance of death.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

meh, it's worth it for the buzz

(Goatse not a comedy account, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:40, archived)

discuss your lack of sympathy? i'd rather not to be honest
not with the bad news i've just had....
(

mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:33, archived)

MARGARINE?

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Wed 13 May 2009, 9:34, archived)

Well okay, not your actual marg
but Flora spread or something similar. I prefer butter, but flora will do.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

Having got a motorbike myself...
...I'd say that really it's a bit of both. Seen some terrible biking on the roads, and don't understand why they feel the need to do it. Filtering down the lanes between stationary traffic is ok, but weaving in and out of moving traffic is just stupid.

There's a biker who visits someone on my road who cranks it up on his way out - an R6 hitting the limit in first gear is travelling considering it's a 30 zone. Hope the karma he deserves heads his way.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:36, archived)

having dealt with thousands of motorbike accidents, and a fair few of those involving horrendous injuries to the biker
I can honestly say that the cases where the biker is to blame are extremely rare.

Car drivers just do not keep an eye out for them.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 13 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

Too true!
Having mopped a few up myself, I'd agree.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

The thing is that people that own something that is little more than a huge engine on wheels
will tend to drive them like bit of a cunt, I'm sure they're tremendous fun to ride when you're not flying off them though.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

They're bloody good fun.
Though I prefer to keep the wheels on the ground and my arse on the seat.
(BombayMick Dogs are better than cats, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:39, archived)

Good fucking Christ it's practically noon. Wake the fuck up and entertain me before I go off to my shitty job.
It's fucking glorious sunshine here. I might get sunburn on the walk to work.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:21, archived)

/dons hat
/dances

happy now?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

Hmmm.... a bit...
Needs more jazz hands and tap shoes.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

tells a lot about me when I say that I read that as jizz hands.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:24, archived)

certainly does! O:

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

doh

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:26, archived)

I'm in work at ten today.
This makes me :( because I don't usually start til 2 at the earliest, and I'm working both my days off.
(

Bats, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:22, archived)

Not really days of are they? ):
Today is my last day at work for this week. tomorrow is sorting house day. friday is doctors, dentist, optician.

I hope you're getting paid lots of lovely money for all this work.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

It's only usual rate.
I'm not working Saturday, but that's moving day, so even if I'm not working I'll be shifting heavy boxes and furniture. This is not a good thing.

Oh well, beer tokens.
(

Bats, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:28, archived)

but on bright side
MONEY
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:25, archived)

+K

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:46, archived)

How did they convince you to work your day off?
If I'm down for holiday, nothing will make me come into work, save a REALLY BIG emergency and I'm the ONLY PERSON who can fix it.
(

SuperMatt, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:45, archived)

Also:
You shouldn't be the one to pay for their inadequacies in managing a team. If there aren't enough people to staff that day, who actually gave them all holiday? If people have walked out, why haven't you hired anyone new?
(

SuperMatt, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

This man speaks sense in large volumes.
Tell them to fuck off, Bats.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

There is a culture in this country, and in America too, of guilting people into doing work
I've seen people become overly stressed due to their work load, and staying after work for hours at a time. This shouldn't happen because there is clearly a deficiency in staffing.
(

SuperMatt, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

have you seen office space?
there's a lot of this kind of behaviour in that.

don't mean to trivialise the situation, it's a good film.
maybe trashing a printer with a baseball bat is the solution!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

I'd love to smash something up to gansta rap

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:44, archived)

ditto
let's have an appliance smashing bash!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:59, archived)

Very much this

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

It's trying to be sunny here
And failing. Not that I care as I will be stuck inside for the rest of the day.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:38, archived)

call the fire brigade, they have heavy lifting gear

(

mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

Oh, Mongy

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

it's my playful time of the month, the real cunt time starts soon

(

mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

*looks forward to it*

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:49, archived)

hopefully people will take it in the good humour it's ment in, but i doubt it, spastic fuckers

(

mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

I'm preparing my email to the mods as we speak.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

people must learn to realise that when they sign up to a comedy website forum all humour must be left at the door
srrs stuff only, say what you mean, and mean what you say
(

mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

i like ducks

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

Raining here
Bleurgh.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:39, archived)

You're vomiting rain?

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

i think i might get a mcdonalds sausage and egg mcmuffin, as a treat, imagine that
and to be fair, you don't like me, and i don't like you, so let's not beat around the bush and pretend otherwise
(

mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:40, archived)

You could use that second line
as your signature, mind you.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

i'm not sure it would fit on my cheques

(

mongychops, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:46, archived)

Weather's lovely here.
not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes - and I won't be surprised if it's a dream.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:41, archived)

it's grey and damp here
and i would argue it's still far too early to be out of bed
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:42, archived)

Its miserable, damp and grey here.
Just like me.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:47, archived)

gone grey already?
you haven't been old for long
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

Okay. Well i have a couple of incredibly well hidden
grey hairs. Cos I'm a ginger, they don't show up too much really.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:55, archived)

to be honest, i've got a few greys too
and i am a young(ish)
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

24 and I've got a few.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:06, archived)

i'm 24 also

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:09, archived)

My younger sister has started going grey before me
much to my delight.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

as have most of my young friends.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

you'll go bald instead

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:02, archived)

Hopefully I'll go mumdole at the same time.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:35, archived)

It's raining here. You can't have all the youth, skinniness AND sun. That's unfair.
Bloody hell I'm knackered. Dreams to do with briefcases again.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:48, archived)

Recurring nightmares about briefcases? You must come with a lot of baggage then.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:50, archived)

Boom, and indeed, boom.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

I'm here all weekend.
Unless they discover my hiding place sooner.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:51, archived)

I'm guessing at the scatter cushion fort under the dining table.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:52, archived)

ARSES! I mean no, of course not.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:54, archived)

All the skinniness? How long has of been since we last met?
*cuddles*
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:12, archived)

Comparitively, at least.
Morning, poppet *hug*
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

Were you exchanging briefcases with a mysterious Russian spy?
Good morning captain
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

I don't know...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

Have I upset and/or annoyed you in any way?
If so please allow me to express my deepest regret.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:22, archived)

No, silly!

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:25, archived)

That's ok then :D
You didn't respond to the good morning, it is my understanding that some humans find it customary to ignore a greeting if they are upset or annoyed with the person initiating the salutation.

Don't worry, I'm just being silly :)
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:37, archived)

I'm knackered :D

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:43, archived)

Pretend you need to go out to sort something for a client
and sleep under your desk for a while, I wont tell anyone :)

I'll be back later, I have to get what I'm working on sorted quickly as I have a race on my hands for who gets to work on the next (genuinely exciting) project.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 13 May 2009, 10:03, archived)

The south coast is grim but unpleasantly warm
I, however, have just eaten a crunch cream one of this proud nation's finest biscuits.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:59, archived)

buy one get one free in the co-op at the moment
good times, man. good times.
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:00, archived)

I can't have packets in the house
they don't last a day :(
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:01, archived)

What are your feelings on Tunnock's wafers?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

Caramel wafers?
A good solid chocolate bar, best enjoyed with a cup of tea.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:31, archived)

Yes. Good.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:32, archived)

build a machine that sits on the roof
you put the packet in the machine and it drops one down the chimney each day
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:03, archived)

I'm fucking sexy.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:10, archived)

Damn right.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:14, archived)

alright lovely?

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:16, archived)

It's true.
I once wanted to run to him and say hello but accidentally pole-vaulted out the window.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:15, archived)

We'd never be able to communicate, we'd have to face different directions, such are our horn.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

No need to rub it in....

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:17, archived)

*rubs it in*

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:18, archived)

MUH.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

MWAH

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:20, archived)

Heyyyyy!
Why, you.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 13 May 2009, 9:23, archived)

Everyone dead, Dave?

(

Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 13 May 2009, 4:28, archived)

probably

(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Wed 13 May 2009, 4:39, archived)

I wish I was
I start work in 15 minutes. Must dash.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 13 May 2009, 4:53, archived)

No you won't.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 13 May 2009, 4:56, archived)

I didn't think you went in for that whole "friend activity" thing.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:51, archived)

I'm sure that was earth shatteringly witty in your head
But it's left me at a loss, so I'll just call you a creepy spastic while I'm here on my break. OK, flower?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:29, archived)

Nah, I always smell like that.

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:29, archived)

Yes

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:38, archived)

you alive still
or still dead?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 13 May 2009, 7:45, archived)

Dead
And about to go to work. Sadtimes.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:47, archived)

Awww poor you
I just got home from school.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 13 May 2009, 7:47, archived)

Poor me indeed, I woke up at 5.30
If I make it through the day I will be impressed!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:49, archived)

I do that every day.
:( Damn study taking up so much time!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 13 May 2009, 7:50, archived)

That sucks
However I must now depart. Byeee
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:51, archived)

byeeee
have fun poptart!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 13 May 2009, 7:51, archived)

Christ you start work late

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:56, archived)

I start at 9
Now ssh.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 13 May 2009, 8:37, archived)

Naaaaah.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 13 May 2009, 7:50, archived)

Ronery... I'm so roooonery

(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:47, archived)

totally brushed my teeth just now

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:52, archived)

I moved my foot about 3" to the right.

(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:54, archived)

one day
im going to come find you, and when i find you, i'm going to tongue your chocolate starfish till you orgasm in a shower of wriggly milk
(

weaver., Wed 13 May 2009, 3:54, archived)

Blimey.
I'll put you down for next week.
(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 4:02, archived)

I'm playing online poker (sad I know) with a woman called Krystal Dicks
I think she may be the living embodiment of glass cock.

What funny or unfortunate names have you heard recently?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

*Poker hat*
Where's said poker?
I wish to spoil it.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 13 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

It's boring, for fake money, on Facebook.
Azra3l bullied me into it.

I however am dressed fabulously and am drinking cocktails so it kind of fits.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

Which Casino/Room?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 13 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

Texas Hold 'Em Zynga thing

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 2:02, archived)

Yes..
.....It tells you the casino you're in.
..and the room.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 13 May 2009, 2:03, archived)

columbus
face em 32
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Wed 13 May 2009, 2:09, archived)

What's the point in poker for nothing of value?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:09, archived)

Oh right, you're all probably not here anymore.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:10, archived)

bone idle link posting
web.archive.org/web/20060924044443/www.splange.freeserve.co.uk/names.html
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

I like the artist Hieronymous Cock

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:59, archived)

Dick Strain.

(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 2:10, archived)

i play a triplejack.com
fake money too but it'snot as stiff as fb.. and you get to throw things at people
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 13 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

I don't like all the jargon. It's all very silly. The river, deuces, pocket rockets. It's
all poncey gobshitery.
(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

i just ignore all that stuff
it's only ever mentioned by people in the chat screen anyway
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Wed 13 May 2009, 2:30, archived)

Mike Litoris.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

Philippa Bucket.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 2:35, archived)

Lorraine Gage

(

scott,, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:06, archived)

Owen DeSock

(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:09, archived)

Scott Bellsonit.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:19, archived)

Paul D. Utherun

(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:44, archived)

A local real estate agent is named Lady Cox

(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Wed 13 May 2009, 3:21, archived)

I'm on nights.
This means I'll be working while you're asleep. Feel free to smug it up.
In other news, the Flight of the Conchords radio show is pretty good, but Murray's called Brian. He's just as good as in the TV series, but it sounds strange hearing him being called something different.
(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:36, archived)

This Friday is my last night shift in work, EVAH.
YAY.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:36, archived)

Remember to block the toilet and liberally distribute laxatives

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:37, archived)

Hooray!
I quite like nights, because you get to go into town and sit in cafés with a paper during the day. After you've had a kip, of course.
(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:40, archived)

NEAR THE TOP.
Does anyone have an mp3 of "Untitled 7 (Dauðalagið)" by Sigur Rós that they could send me?
(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:07, archived)

I saw them live once and recorded it to my brain.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

I do, yes.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

I bet you don't really
^AaaAaaAaaaaaAaAaAAaaAAaaAaaaAAAAAARRrrR_RrRRrRrrrR_d^vAaAaaAaaa_AAAAAaaAAAAaA_aAAaaAAaAaaa_rRRrrRrRrrRR^rrrRrrRk^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

I actually do!
I'm feeling helpful.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

If you don't want it, that's fine.
But I do have it, and you did ask.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

Could I have it please?
I apologise for my late reply, I was in the shower.
(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

Yes, you can.
Check your gaz.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

Checked and replied.

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

new thing uploaded to the thing
uninstall the old thing first
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

Hello Frank, you delightful lump of man-sex.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

hello you wonderfully glamorous sex kitten
I burnt my mouth on a very hot fried egg earlier
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:25, archived)

That sounds really quite painful.
I hope you have a selection of hot bitches to kiss it better for you.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:26, archived)

I did that thing where you lean forward and clutch your chest like you're having a heart attack
it burnt all the way down

I could probably sue someone over this
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

The frying pan manufacturer, and possibly your gas supplier too.
Those cunts failed to warn you of the danger.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

Sue the chicken for malpractice.
Or sue Dave Trouser. You won't need a reason, you'll win anyway.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

What does your little add-on do?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 13 May 2009, 1:23, archived)

it's an all-purpose meme-blocker and ascii obliterator
those posts get replaced with a soothing picture of a kitten
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

Right now I'm working on one that will replace the witless blatherings of the most prolific brain-farters with far nicer fare.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

I can GAZ you a link to download mine if you want?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

If you please.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:43, archived)

i'm on the dole
my bodyclocks gone west
(Sawdustman now with added giro. again, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:38, archived)

Life is peaceful there, so it should be easy to sleep.

(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:39, archived)

Hello nice man.
You are nice and I liked you when I met you so hello.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:45, archived)

HELLO.
Ta very much, you're not bad yourself. I've just come back in the office, it's getting quite nippy out there.
(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 2:17, archived)

G;AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHANNJER

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

I've fucking cocked up my Ubuntu installation to shit and rendered my laptop useless without a LiveCD.
Tonight is going to be fun, I'll be up getting angry, cursing at inanimate objects, and only going to sleep when I'm either A) done fixing it or B) in an exhaustion coma.

FUNTIEMS. :(
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

that'll learn you

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

would it help if I pointed and laughed at you?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:52, archived)

My xbox has broken itself.
AND I missed Flight of the Conchords. I hope it's on Anytime tomorrow.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 13 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

Xboxes are shit.
If you're a real man, get a ps3, if you're a real girl get a wii.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

:( I'm using a Wii right now.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 13 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

*smugs it up*

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:00, archived)

aaAAaA^RrRR_r^d_D^d_dVvVV^AaaAAa_Rr^RrkKkkK!11!^{!^{!^{!^!}}}
(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

Krissssssssssssssssy!
/ac
Hello.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

hai2u
how goes it?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

Quite well, yes.
How's your lovely self?
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:17, archived)

eh not quite lovely, to be honest
happy to hear you're well :)
(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

Oh no!
Come and tell Uncle Aardvark all about it. *pats knee*
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

Or, you know, don't. That's fine too.

(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

I vas in de showah

(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:50, archived)

Ah.
You can tell me all about that, if you'd prefer.
(

Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 13 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

AH now I remember.
The urban sound dictionary.

bDom...dom..dommamommaDONG - The sound of a wheelie bin taken back from the kerb after bin collection day.

Kronch-chom-yuk-slather..... the city fox rejecting the over-microwaved penne arrabiata you'd thrown out in yesterday's trash.

Bh-Bh-Bh-BH-r.r.r.r.r.rRHHHHHYAM! am.amam.am..amm..Chufff.

The Subaru Impreza with a Powerchip Boost enhancement and an uprated dump valve. In a cul-de-sac. Repeatedly.

What keeps you awake at night, in the city?

EDIT for my luck it's pissing church tower bells. 4 times an hour, on the pissing four times an hour.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:55, archived)

the sound of ym screaming

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:56, archived)

if you were doing MM
I rather think it was you being the foolish one....?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:57, archived)

Nothing, I live in a cul-de-sac.
Well, sometimes the crack.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:57, archived)

ooh look, a kitten

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:00, archived)

Are you going to stove in its head, Frank?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

no no, this is an emergency kitten
it's been summoned by my shit post blocking script

posts with too many line breaks, ascii images or memes get replaced with a soothing picture of a kitten
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:04, archived)

Daawwwww
How are you?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

I went to a laundrette today!

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:11, archived)

Oh man!
You'll never guess, I went to the shop!
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:13, archived)

shops are rubbish compared to laundrettes
I got to watch my washing going round in circles for HOURS
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:16, archived)

I'm watching mine doing that RIGHT NOW.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

yes but this one had a MASSIVE spin dryer
I reckon it could fit at least ten chihuahuas inside and still have room for a toddler
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:19, archived)

There was a chihuaha in work last night that got poisoned from drinking toilet water.
Fucking retarded thing. £300 odd bill for drinking toilet water.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

How did it reach?

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:23, archived)

Good point.
Fuck knows.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:25, archived)

"Trash"?
Have you been listening to Def Leppard again?
(

FoldsFive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Shurely Alice Cooper
although there's always the joke about what Trash actually means, I dunno.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:05, archived)

I was thinking of the lyrics to Lets Get Rocked.
Lads from Sheffield desperately trying to sound American to break the market.
(

FoldsFive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:06, archived)

Ah do you wanna get rooockkked?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:07, archived)

Mutt Lange influence
hang, on, you're thinking about the lyrics? I'ma bassist! Lyrics is what.....who...eh...?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:09, archived)

I saw Def Leppard live when the drummer still had two arms

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:14, archived)

the rigt to bear arms
and the actual arm itself?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:20, archived)

yeah sure, why not

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:45, archived)

That was a great post.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

I live on the edge of a village, halfway up a mountain.
So I dunno. Rapists?
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:01, archived)

Aww, cute kitty.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:07, archived)

so what's the deal with when you reply
'they're bastards' to a thread about the 'KKK murdering children' and then you come back and find the original question has been edited to say ' moslem pacifists heal the sick'?

"Retro-thread adjust awareness requires backward as well as forward thinking."
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 23:18, archived)

Mainly aircraft
but living by an airport for 30 years means I am used to it - it's when we go on holiday I can't sleep, it's too quiet.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

werewolves

(

scott,, Tue 12 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

Hmmm....BMMFFGH!...fffffFFFFFFFTTTTT....hmmmmmm...click
The boiler.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:04, archived)

There's a clock like yours near me.
It's not that close so I can just about hear it, I quite like it actually.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

        ._                __.                                         
        / \"-.          ,-",'/                                         
       (   \ ,"--.__.--".,' /                                          
       =---Y(_i.-'  |-.i_)---=                                         
      f ,  "..'/\\v/|/|/\  , l                                         
      l//  ,'|/   V / /||  \\j    LOOK AT ME I'M AN ANIME GIRL !!!!!!!!
       "--; / db     db|/---"                                          
          | \ YY   , YY//                                              
          '.\_   (_),"' __                                            
        .-"    "-.-." I,"  `.                                          
        \.-""-. ( , ) ( \   |                                          
        (     l  `"'  -'-._j                                           
 __,---_ '._." .  .    \                                               
(__.--_-'.  ,  :  '  \  '-.                                            
    ,' .'  /   |   \  \  \ "-                                          
     "--.._____t____.--'-""'                                           
            /  /  `. ".          I'M GOING TO JOIN THE MIRITALLY       
           / ":     \' '.                                              
         .'  (       \   :                                             
         |    l      j    "-.                                          
         l_;_;I      l____;_I                                          
                                                                       
                      cgmm

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:15, archived)

Aw, it's a ginger kitty this time.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

it's quite a feat of web programming to make Wormulus seem tolerable

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

now i'm upset

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:36, archived)

Something that replaced any post with 'ym' or 'COCK TUESDAY' in it for a random historic post
by any other user. I'd buy that for a dollar.
(

Druid, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:39, archived)

Gilgy, make it so.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:45, archived)

eh? the Wormulus meme is already blocked isn't it?
I just wrote a new version that lets you click to reveal the original post, just fine-tuning it before I upload that
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 13 May 2009, 0:58, archived)

So anyway...
THE CRICKET!

Glamorgan failed quite spectacularly, all out for 124.
:(

Anywho, if you're not into cricket and all that and you don't feel like calling me a cunt with a pipe or something... How about telling me how your day went?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

Excellent.
I'm JMG.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

Well done JMG.
Congratulations for being you.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:34, archived)

I'm incredibly fantastic for being so nice to everybody on here.
When I'm much, much better than the average user.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:36, archived)

are you puttng yourself above other forum users?

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

I'M not.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

i think i might go to bed now, imagine that

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:49, archived)

You're doing well,
I commend you.

What's happening in Newcastle RIGHT NOW?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:42, archived)

how the fuck would he know, he lives in sunderland

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

I went to Sunderland once.
:(((
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

:(

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:47, archived)

Is that a :( for Sunderland?
Or a :( for my opinion of Sunderland?
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

comedy died here, thats it
you, myke, bud, sambles, you all took woomens sides
(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:53, archived)

oh you racistit
fuck you nigger, our chink, or i ate in bins
(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:54, archived)

Glam Organ?
are they 70s rockers with their cocks out?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

This is terrible bullying of the Welsh language.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

Afterwards I drank in a pub called 'Y Mochyn Du'.
10 points to whoever discovers what this means first.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

The Black something.

(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

Google says The Black Pig.
I was so close.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

Well done, 10 points.

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

The Black Pig
I've been in that pub myself
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

1000 points for being in the pub.
:)
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

I'M OFF FOR A #PISS

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

IN CAPS TOO!
CAPSPISS
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

HELLO, I QUITE LIKE #LAKES!!!!!

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

LAKESPISS??

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:30, archived)

I pissed in the lakes once...

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

did someone delete a thread?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

That's not important.
Never is.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:25, archived)

but I replied to it smugly saying that where I live is quiet,
NOW NOONE WILL KNOW!
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:27, archived)

we do now

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

i saw a lot of line breaks at the top of the page
it

wasn't

Rotating Wobbly Hat

was it?
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:29, archived)

Haha, he gets blocked by my shit posts script.
Also, ~~Hat~~ Twat
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

Thought there was a long gap, posted my thread header
BAM I posted, someone else had posted a minute before. I deleted out of respect.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:37, archived)

Why are you telling me?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

because.
just a response to a query or challenge.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:44, archived)

No query or challenge here.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:45, archived)

you are the internet's police, K.
plus, blimey, I neverthought of detecting via that. well played :-)

I did have a thread header to initiate but found it right on top of someone elses so nipped it off to repost later.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

journalism inhibitions
you can't post a solid 3 column inches of text without weraing out some poeple's vision so you get used to splitting passages up. 's th' LAW man.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

THE CRICKET went well for my part of the world.
4 wins out of 5 now.
Ashwell Prince looks quite useful. This is good news from here.
(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:31, archived)

Glamorgan had a South African playing for them last season.
Herschelle Gibbs (of the six sixes fame).

He only played in the 20/20 matches, he was ok.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

you're a cunt with a pipe
I'm quite chuffed, I've finally managed to get my triple boot windows xp/windows 7/kubuntu setup configured using a mixed raid1/raid5/non-raid ntfs/ext3 ide/sata setup

I don't believe in making things easy
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:32, archived)

I might give up on Vista and try Ubuntu, Noit's is shiny and awesome.
I don't like the idea of not being able to get Vista back, though.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

dual boot, it's really piss easy
I've made my setup extra complicated but ordinarily it's really basic.

there's even an option where you can run it without fucking up your partitions, the only difference being it's a bit slower accessing the hard disk

get rid of vista, it's fucking shit. I have it on this work laptop and I fucking hate it, I'd much rather have xp.

Windows 7 seems ok though, so far
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

See, I hate XP. Much prefer Vista.
I might try dual boot.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

do it
one of the more frustrating things about vista is that there were so many things that worked right in xp that they broke for vista. It's windows ME for the new millenium
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:48, archived)

I'm upset that Belgium didn't get through to Eurovision :(
Also, I just got cat litter in my eye, behind my contact lens
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:33, archived)

Haha how the fuck did you manage that?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

FF just asked me that exact question.
I was tipping the new litter into the tray when a big load of dust shot out of the bag into my eye.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

Oof.
This is why I hate litter trays, amongst other reasons. Tell them to fuck off outside to shit.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

just asked me that exact question.
I was tipping the new litter into the tray when a big load of dust shot out of the bag into my eye.

shat in my eyes
and I needed something to clean it out
(

Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

I wrote a Flash control that does file uploads with a progress bar and has the ability to perform ASP.NET postbacks in AJAX-enabled pages
form an orderly queue to have sex with me please
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:35, archived)

shite
I went to school with this chucklehead and found this video on facebook today
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:38, archived)

Is he taking the piss?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:39, archived)

no

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:41, archived)

Oh dear.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:43, archived)

I have no words.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:49, archived)

Is he made of nylon and PVC?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:40, archived)

Hello in-house jokesters.
JMG here.
Who's got some ill-reasoned offline antics they'd like to share with the internet?

Come on.
You love a bit of that.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:44, archived)

I had to pick WW up from A & E today.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:45, archived)

same old "slipped and fell while changing the lightbulb naked" story,
I'll bet.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

How is she now?
Less lung-fucked?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

Are the NHS making you do homework?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

Oh JMG, you rotter.
Was there much dismay at your football team's slightly fortuitous win last night?
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

I think Bogus Official went off a little too early once I returned and posted on here.
But asides that, there was minimal wobbling.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

I like Bogus, he's a fine handsome upstanding chap not generally prone to internet seriousness..
..I'm rather baffled that he's still annoyed by the JMG Internet Show after all this time.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

I can't speak for him, but I'm quite sure the key word would be "autism".
Anywhere up to three times.

I'd also like to point out that I, JMG. Repeats himself.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

You're not autistic until Mykey gazzes someone to say that you are.
Then it's Internet Truth.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

Or until one of the dried up old spite-chimneys on QOTW chants it five times in a row.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

the pair of you are insist so much about yourselves that you make attenion seekers look vacant
you take a forum where nobody really would like to know who you are in the real world and push your opinions and self value on the rest of the users, it achieves nothing for the forum, is there no other way you can gain a sense of self praise without using this forum to pretend that you have in some way upset people or made them like you without taking over a forum that is directed towards humorous posts?
(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

Alright.
Have another crack at that opening line.
That's as far as I've got.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:07, archived)

you! insist! on! your! self!

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

Pardon?

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:09, archived)

what's your fucking problem now?

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:11, archived)

THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

It's all one sentence mongy
that's how I used to write when I was in school.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

i dont use commas and shit here. never have

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

brain spunk

(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:19, archived)

i wish baz would come back

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:21, archived)

ha!
he still visits my corner of the internet.
(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

Bogus is a great chap.

(

FoldsFive, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

JMG did you see me win and internet argument?

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

*Official Handshakes and ceremony requiring top hats and gowns*
*Wipes tear from eye*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

*does victory dance*

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

*Guest speakers speech*
*Threats made to the overweight community*

*SEXY PARTY!*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

I need some weed.
(will travel)
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

No time for you right now.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

fine then

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

there are many invading my veggie patch
wanna come get 'em?
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

That's the best thing about being on the tenth floor.
No weeds to invade my mini garden.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

Yep, everyone is 'growing their own'.
hmm
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

Hmm..
Well, I am handy with a hoe.

:P

LOOLOLOLOL
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

I would like some ritalin
but I don't know where to get these things
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

from a doctor?
do you suffer with ADHD?
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

No I want it so I can write essays
They don't just give it out to people who want it. but it would help.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

I'm assuming this is a joke.
Just work harder.
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:58, archived)

But I could take drugs that would help my brain focus
and therefore improve my work. I can't force my brain to concentrate. It's basically cheating really. Like steroids in sports. But not illigal, yet. Performance enhancing.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:04, archived)

Ermm..drugs are for when you have finished your studies.
You remember that.
(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:06, archived)

you take recreational drugs
you can't look down on me for wanting drugs that would help me excel in education.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:12, archived)

Study while shooting up, I don't care.

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

Get some off JMG.
According to my Big Book of Internet FACTS he's autistic, now.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

It's true.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

All the important people in my life OFFLINE are going through stress and so am I and it's making everything VERY STRESSFUL and I want to have a little cry.
Offline.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:46, archived)

Aww honey
I wish I could give you a proper cuddle.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

It's just really rubbish at the moment.
There are so many places I want to be and people I want to be with and talk to properly and spend time with and cuddle and tell them it's all going to be alright but I can't be anywhere but here for the next three weeks. And I know it's temporary and three weeks is no time at all but everything's so awful that temporary problems might become actual problems. :(
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

I know it is hard but anyone who loves you would want you to give all you can to these three weeks
You can't beat yourself up for not being able to be everywhere.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

Argh. Why does everything in my life have to go wrong right now?
I'm living scared of what'll happen when the three weeks are up and the problems _should_ go away but might not.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

beat yourself up for not being able to be everywhere.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

cut your wrist and die then

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

HO'WAY MAN PET!
You've got an official HO'WAY MAN PET, there.
You can do anything with one of those.

It got Moohalaa a new bike, for example.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

Thanks pet.
One of the places I want to be is Newcastle with my pal who's having a bit of a rubbish time there. But also to have my picture taken by the sign of the street which has my name AND has Lush on it.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

I think we ALL wish to be in Newcastle.
Almost daily.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:57, archived)

Aww honey
I wish I could give you a slap and tell you to pull yourself together
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

Oi!

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

it's my patented method for dealing with depression
tell it like it is, don't offer sympathy, tell people to sort their lives out

and it works
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:02, archived)

Go on then.
1. My brother wants to drop out of uni, marry his girlfriend and join the RAF and my family think this is my fault because I am the only one he'll talk to seeing as the rest of them are all mentals.
2. My uncles have offered me a lot of money to do something for them that I don't really have time to do right now, but they are talking about a sum of money that I can't really say no to, but I am in the middle of my finals and really don't have time but it's hard to say no to lots of money.
3. I have turned into a psycho girlfriend because of Finals Mentals and I don't like it but can't seem to be a normal person at the moment.
4. My kitchen's a mess.
5. I have a spot.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:08, archived)

i can do this
all of the above, do what makes you happy, guilt is a thing laid on by others, your brother can do what he wants, fuck off is number 2, 3 you are a person, and he can dump you, so what, it not like you'll be together forever and have kids,

smash the spot up
(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:16, archived)

ok
1. Stop worrying what other people think about you
2. Don't accept the money, go out in the world and stand on your own two feet and earn a living like everyone else does
3. Get a fucking grip
4. Doesn't even fucking matter
5. See 4
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

Pop spot. Clean kitchen. Give blowjob.
As for the family money thing.. Depends if what you do has time constraints.
And support your brother in his decisions. They're his decisions.
/not very helpful but trying
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:20, archived)

*Standing ovation*

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:23, archived)

Last time you did that when I was having my mental episode in Italy it really worked actually.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

see, this is why my reputation as a heartless bastard is largely undeserved

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:00, archived)

I'm failing to study as I am too hurty
gah!
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

poor you
*hugs*
(

hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:02, archived)

I started building a model motorbike
It has wheels that spin.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:47, archived)

Well, I handed in my notice yesterday,
and came home from college early because I feel like shit AGAIN. It's all a bit of a mess really.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:48, archived)

Oh no, I hope you feel better soon
and all the job stuff works out.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:50, archived)

Oh Ireland.
The hounds! Who'll care for the hounds?!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:50, archived)

I made friends with a girl called Mary at work today.
She is young and pretty and tall and was wearing a lovely dress.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:49, archived)

Did you strike up an awkward conversation
or did you offer her tea?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

she said she reckognised me from the other office
I blushed. then we made tea together and had chuckles.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:54, archived)

Did you two discuss my good offline companion Handsome Gav?
He's very popular with womenfolk all over the country, she'll probably have a secret folder of his photos she could share with you.
I'm also assuming this Mary lass is a bit of a looker. I give this friendship my official endorsement.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

JMG there are no menfolk in my horizons
not even in the peripherals ):
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:55, archived)

I'd gladly try to put one of your hips out.
But this is the internet.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:59, archived)

Turns out my mate went out with Andrew Lloyd Webber's wife's little sister.
According to her, Webber has a MASSIVE cock. The end.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:51, archived)

:(

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:53, archived)

insisting

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:52, archived)

If things go well,
I may soon be receiving a handsome wage to work in temperatures of -20°C.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:56, archived)

*Gloved handshakes*
Good luck here.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

i'm awaiting the lovely polish bloke from o2
to activate port forwarding GRRRRR
why can't they gove me the root password
(

hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:01, archived)

I'd like to hear Aberdeen's views on this Polish man.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:03, archived)

i'll call them
i'm too southerly for their liking
(

hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:17, archived)

did you try saying 'pretty please with a cherry on the top' ?
they love that.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:05, archived)

Unfortunatly
Their responce was poor.

So it seems i will be hooking my old netgear up again soon. :(

How are you this evening young lady?
(

hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:14, archived)

Not bad thank you :)
Had a busy one at work so I'm rather tired now but I'll get there.

You?
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

i'm tired
And having to work later tomorrow, which may be a good thing in money terms but bad as i'm used to working less hours now, effectivly making me lazy
(

hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:46, archived)

Aww, I hope it isn't too difficult

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:51, archived)

I've got explosive zits and a red nose
I feel like a real b3tan again
(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:22, archived)

:(
Sad news indeed.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 22:24, archived)

Kate Silverton
PHWOOAAR!!
(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:12, archived)

I prefer Moira Stewart

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:14, archived)

MAKE IT SEW!

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

ra

e

+s
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who didn't get it.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

Moist warts
it's not exactly a mensa test.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

Mmmmmmmm....Moist Warts
Which is ironic, what with her having very bumpy pissflaps, allegedly.
(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

So do I

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

+ 's Mauve Envelope.

/tvgohome
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

Whatever
I have the first Eurovision show on. I may need to rethink not drinking on Saturday.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

HA!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

Sssh

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

Bhang!

(Ronnie Spleen MMMMNEURRGH I AM A GAY SPAZ AND I LOVE IT UP MY BU, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

First Eurovision show?
So there's a chance we won't go through to the finals? Or do we get a bye?

Not that I actually give a monkeys
(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

As far as I can remember we are automatically through
Along with 4 other countries as we are ace.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

~~are ace~~ give them money
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

That too
Just as well, we'd never get through otherwise.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

True.
It's not like the old days, though. Used to be fun. And Ireland used to win:(
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

Didn't you pull out for a year because it was costing too much?
Or is that one of those myths that aren't actually true but my childhood memory says it is?
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:25, archived)

I can't remember.
I know RTÉ deliberately pick shit songs so they don't have to pay for it the next year.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

This may be what I'm thinking of
Wikipedia says I'm wrong, but that's not a big surprise.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

Father Ted did a great piss take of it.
It was nearly how it actually is.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:31, archived)

Where are you going
With your fetlocks blowing in the wind?

:D
(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:33, archived)

Like a train in the night, like a train in the, hang on, I can get this, niiight

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:34, archived)

Best of a bad bunch, surely!
Why would this force you to reconsider your tee-total Saturday?
(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

Well, I'm trying not to drink this month
However, I will either have to go out on Saturday which will lead to drinking, or be in, and therefore watching which will also require drinking.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

ah The Rock and Hard Place conundrum

(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:27, archived)

I loved the copycat one

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:28, archived)

she looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger in drag

(

scott,, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

pfffft!
genuine lols there
(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

YA GOT WHAT YA WAANT, GID DA PEEPLE DAY AIR-YAY!

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:20, archived)

I've had her
she's got B.O. and her clunge smells of mushrooms
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

Do you post on a forum full of amiable gibberish that has a name very much like b3ta?

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:19, archived)

ves

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

Watch out for the agromeliacs.

(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:23, archived)

Is that the newsreader that did the canoeing thing?
if so... well, I'm a liberal, easy-going man, quite enlightened and not prone to gratuitous unpleasantries, but by jingo I'd do her so hard it'd get Huw Edwards and Trevor McDonald pregnant.
(

Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:16, archived)

I read that as 'the cameltoe thing'

(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:17, archived)

i enjoyed looking at those pictures of that pop women naked, i think she is sort of black, got beat by her boyfriend

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:18, archived)

Sort of black?

(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:21, archived)

i dunno what she is, they are all so made up now they seem to blend

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:22, archived)

They?

(

applehead herp derp, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:24, archived)

jessica alba, berry, ect ect

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:31, archived)

You can't even see her fanny properly.
Which is the pictures fault.

I'm not accusing you of having poor eyesight.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:29, archived)

i've only seen picture with a boob or a bit of bum, no fanny
i must be missing out
(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:33, archived)

I just used my car battery charger and an ipod to test the woofer I have and it definitely works.
I'm just too thick to wire it up to the car.
Who wants to do it for me?
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:04, archived)

Notice I didn't once mention my podcast in that post.
baldmonkeystuff.blogspot.com/
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

Fuck that shit, I'm on FTL
stream.ifaze.nl:8070/listen.pls
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

Plug my podcast and I'll plug FTL in the next one.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

Done and DONE.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:14, archived)

gaz me a couple of sentences you'd like to hear in the podcast and, subject to editting, I'll read it out.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

I'll have a go.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

Me
But I'll probably make a worse job of it than you did.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:06, archived)

I blew a load of fuses.
I know you're supposed to disconnect the negative before you start, but I thought that was just to stop you killing yourself. If I'd known it was to stop fuses blowing, I would have actually done it.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:11, archived)

Id rather have uncaring,selfish sex with your wife

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:06, archived)

Careful, or you'll crush her to death!
LOLFATJOKE
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

roffle

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

You need to make reference to where you live now.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

ABERDEEN!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

Did you have deep fried lard for dinner?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:11, archived)

Comedy Gold
I'm going to bed now. Be sure to keep me informed of other breakthroughs in witty repartee tomorrow.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:13, archived)

He can't, he's got the main culprits on DOUBLE IGNORE HONEST.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:15, archived)

i could do it i suppose, i won't tho, no offence but i don't like you

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:07, archived)

baldmonkey is a THICKY THICKY THICKO

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

SAY NO TO WOOFERS
Unless you are also saying YES to TWEETERS. Or your music features no frequencies above 100Hz.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

It's a tiny under seat thing.
All I want is something I can turn on on motorways so I can hear the music over my engine.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:09, archived)

Place a screaming baby underneath.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:11, archived)

Oh Turnips, you fucking failure.
I just noticed that there is a small boy on the Dettol ad who looks remarkably like Malchick.

Are you disturbed enough to see b3tans where there are no b3tans?
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

Not really.
B3tans are people too you know.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

LIES!

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

They are monstrous bastardisations of the human race,
but humans never the less.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

I saw that too, oh MoT, you post failure.
I dreamt of Limey the other night if that counts. She was visiting my missus in hospital. I have shit dreams.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

LOL SOMEONE ACCIDENTLY CLICKED "POST NEW MESSAGE" INSTEAD OF REPLY
WHAT A FUCKING CUNT, EH?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

lol
i no u r, u sed u r , so wot am i?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

Lovely.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

True fact

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

Did they start lezzing off?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

No
I kicked off because I was meant to be there first. She'd caught her foot in a garage door, she needed man sympathy!
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

For "Man Sympathy"
read "endless belittling and telling her to leave things like the garage door to men in the future."
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:33, archived)

I have no idea who the garage door belonged to.
Neither of us have one.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

Fucking hell
Piston Broke gag from facebook "Jordon and Peter Andre splitting? I'll bet her son Harvey didn't see that one coming..."
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:33, archived)

Oh for fuck's sake.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:36, archived)

This is one of many reasons I did not add him as a friend.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:36, archived)

Never met the chap (PB)
Seems like a nice bloke, much maligned. I always favour the underdog. Not a fan of pack mentality.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:40, archived)

No
My point being he's doing stand up soon. This is a marker of quality.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

I seem to remember he managed to start an argument with me at my bash within ten minutes of meeting me after i bought him a pint.
Impressive.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

Haha, fucking hell.
He is Captain Socially Retarded.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:51, archived)

And then stickylabel was kicked out for starting fires
Good times
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

Oh I've heard about that.
Did he set beer mats on fire or something?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:59, archived)

Yeah something like that
I was away at the bar at the time, it was slightly embarressing as i was on friendly terms with the staff there
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

Argh, that's shit.
Have you been back since?
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:01, archived)

I actually had to leave Oxford and move to Aberdeen
FACT
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:07, archived)

Good lord!

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:09, archived)

you had a bash without me? :((((((((

(

mongychops, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:06, archived)

You were there you muppet!
Or was that the one before?

I forget:(
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

Is he a bellend too?
Let's get all the character assassinations out of the way.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

Based on the ten minutes I spent in his company three years ago,
he mainly came across as odd and a bit shifty.

Apparently, on arriving he sat in silence for about half an hour, then used the classic opening gambit: "Are you one of the cunts?"
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:03, archived)

At least he knows how to get on peoples good sides.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:05, archived)

Quality

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:09, archived)

I didn't help by calling him boring at the HB piss up I went to
He gave me a dig in the belly. Either that or a small girl breathed on my midriff as she floated silently past.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:56, archived)

Now is that because he is weak and weedy,
or your belly is so big that you couldn't feel him punch you?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:57, archived)

I'm quite svelt I'll have you know

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:59, archived)

You are, and all.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

My ale gut is all but gone
Lost ten pounds over recent month
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:08, archived)

Ghey

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:10, archived)

Jayis.
Noit has got quare skinny, aswell.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:11, archived)

i thought that
then i met him.. it was only CHB's lacking of a rope that stopped my tying him to a lamppost down the street.
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

We saw a rope attached to a car towbar the next morning
alas, too late.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

Everyone thinks that until they meet him.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

I had to spend an hour and a half on a train with him once.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:45, archived)

Oh fucking hell :(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:46, archived)

I know, right?

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

He's the only person ever to have taken a personality test
and failed it.
(

FoldsFive, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:53, archived)

Let's have a bash at an airport,
that results in him on a plane without his wallet or phone. Or his passport if we can somehow manage that.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:55, archived)

He is fundamentally a good lad.
The problem is, if experienced in anything more than very small doses, he is unbelievably annoying.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

^This.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

Correct

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:00, archived)

I saw a lass who looked a lot like her on the way up to yours.
She got off at Steeton if I remember rightly.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:53, archived)

This rings a bell.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:58, archived)

What did he do?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

He replied by posting a new post
CAPITAL OFFENCE
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

Had his kneecaps removed by the Murphia.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

I've never met a single one of you
you might be everywhere I look
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

This worries me sometimes.
Or when I'm bitching on here about someone that they may be a lurker.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

fuck 'em
simples
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

I just signed up for a LOLB4SH in July.
When I clicked on the profile of the person hosting it, I realised that I've met her several times in real life.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

Stalker?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

I had no idea who it was when I signed up, it was just close to where I live.
She's from QOTW :(
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:39, archived)

not since Channel 4 stopped showing the sumo wrestling

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:50, archived)

This video is quite good, as it's got dancing monkeys in it
taj.chass.ncsu.edu/Hindi.Less.02/movies/lesson2WithMovie.html
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 21:01, archived)

If you had £550ish pounds for you and a loved one to go on holiday
where would you be off to?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

I would go to Paris.
Because I'm shit. (:
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

That's not shit.
It's good but what with the euro being so strong against the pound and everything I think it'll be a bit expensive.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:55, archived)

Plus I'd be alone.
But I'd still be able to try out some of my French.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:57, archived)

Paris est une belle ville pitoresque
Ou on peut, par example, visite le musee cluny et regarde les arts historique.

Or summit like that.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:59, archived)

Oui, bein tot.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

*grins*
*buys you a glass of lovely red wine in an outside cafe in le quartier latin*
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

\o/

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

I used to live in the latin quarter.
*le sigh*
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

*le sigh*

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

Ireland.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:53, archived)

you could get flights a hostel and two pints in dublin got that

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

I wouldn't, though.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

yeah yeah pikey discount we know your tricks

(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

I'm going there nxt week.
I'll see if I can do it for £550.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

Which bit?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

The Curragh.
Really, where did you think?
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

I don't know:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

If the right horses run fast enough then £550 should be a doddle.
Even at Irish prices.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

Hahaha
fail.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

How?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

Ireland.
I thought that was apparent.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

Don't you be badmouthing Ireland, bucko.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

To be fair, he's got a point.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

>:(

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

Have you ever been there?

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

Eww.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

I thought not.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

I don't have a loved one so I'll be taking myself to a long weekend city break somewhere in Yurop soon.
Where they speak Foreign and everything.
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:53, archived)

Will they have foreign bum holes?
And swear in foreign when you shoot your Brit-splooge up there?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

it's a delicacy over there, served with black pepper

(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:59, archived)

You can take me if you want.
I need a break.

We can go sharking for cock/pussy together.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:23, archived)

it's funny because NO I'M TAKING SOMEONE ELSE
*thppppppppbbbbb*
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

TAKE ME WITH YOU

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

Bradford

(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:53, archived)

Camping
Since it would be hard to afford much more given the cost of flights etc.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:53, archived)

Me and my girlfriend spent a week in Hamburg for about that last year.
Admittedly, half of it was camping at a music festival.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:55, archived)

I imagine the boyf would like that.
I would like clean sheets, nice walks, nice history and a bit of seaside.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

Hamburg was like that apart from the seaside.
Stayed in a hotel for a few days, fucking good food and at the time it was pretty cheap.
edit: there are nice lakes to walk round and old buildings to look round if you fancy them.
And a bombed out church tower you can go to the top of and get nice views from.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

Probably somewhere in France.
Or wherever there were cheap deals.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

Venice

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:54, archived)

Ooooh nice.
Doesn't it get a bit smelly in the Summer though?
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

Don't go in the summer then.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

My friend just went there and said he got annoyed with it
because it was so ludicrously expensive everywhere.
(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

Given the animosity the issue of compasses apparently provokes,
not a hiking trip.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

pffft

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:58, archived)

homebase
to buy some garden chairs and tesco for wine
(

rob, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

This would be a very good plan if I had a garden.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:56, archived)

Virginia Beach

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:57, archived)

huh huh huh
Um,where is that?
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

if it were up your arse, you'd know it

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

If I had a beach up my arse I would know.
I bet you are used to half a beach of sand up your crack.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:11, archived)

:'(
I'm through with you, you nasty goblin
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

I am a spoilt brat.
I cant control it.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

don't talk to me

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

Dont make me angry.

(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

shut up

(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

Egypts dirt cheap apparently

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:59, archived)

5* 7 nights for £369 per person
you can't say pharoe than that.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

Oh dear.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

did it make it more or less funny that I misspelt pharaoh?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

More funny.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

Anywhere that I hadn't been to with cheap flights.
Mainland Italy probably.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

DON'T GO TO SARDINIA.
DO NOT BE TEMPTED BY LOVELY CHEAP FLIGHTS.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

Seriously?
Sardinia has been tempting me. I haven't checked the flight prices yet, but I know Ryanair go there from Birmingham.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

Where my dad got married on the northern coast was rather lovely.

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

Santorini is a very nice place.
And cheap if you go towards the end of September.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

I LOVE Santorini.
All these things are complicated by the fact that boyf does not have a passport so that's £80 out of the budget just gone on that.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

Well, if you don't want somewhere you need a passport, Ireland is lovely.
But it is expensive.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

or come to Sheffield!

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

Sheffield is lovely but I can't imagine anyone holidaying here.
Maybe a weekend I guess, or longer if you're buggering off to the Peaks.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

Wednesday

(

(|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

Berlin is fab

(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:04, archived)

I went to Berlin for £140 for the week.
Fuck knows how much I spent whilst I was there, but the hostel and flights were cheap enough.
(

lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

Turkey maybe
if you can afford a bit more Cuba is nice and can be done as all inclusive,
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

I fancy a jaunt to cuba.
But the t`other half says its not safe.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

Erm...why?

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

I'd like go to Cuba
unfortunatly I'm under house arrest.
Still, I can but dream
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

At the moment I fancy Turkey, Somewhere nice in the French countryside, Belgium or Edinburgh.

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

Jamacia
got family out there, and it would be nice to show off my hard English currency
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

And get killed by yardies.

(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

Westmoreland isn't that bad
plus, I don't look like a juicy white tourist
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

Eastern Europe.
Albania, probably. Or Marrakech. Or Tomatina in Spain. Dirty tomato-throwing bastards.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

Hello.

(

rosie posie tingly bongly, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

Wotcher.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

When we went to Sharm it wasn't much more than that
Try package deals, especially out of school holidays you could pick up a good one. Lastminute.com, expedia, all good sites.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

Stuttgart.
Or wait a few months and go somewhere snowey.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

Iphone users. Hello.
*mushes your cheeks* hello there.

Is it worth waiting until June to get one with a compass thing in?
Are you on O2?
The 'free wifi' deal..does that include free/unlimited 3G/HSDPA etc for the contract you're on?
Can you copy and paste yet?
I am very tempted to get one as my current windows blocky HTC TyTn 2 contract's a month away from ending.

For non iphone users, or what's the next gig you plan on going to? I need to get back into seeing live music.
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

When's the new iPhone coming out?
90nz0's my man on this issue.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

June apparently, but the few (current) iphone users I've asked don't really know what's in the new model.

(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

Hopefully there'll be a crackdown on fat people using them.
Just because it'll upset the comfort eaters.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

Apparently....
Hardware Stuff
- Compus thingy; before you write that of as a waste of time, think about turn-by-turn navigation on maps, potential TomTom software?
- 32 Gb (at least) model
- 3.2mpx camera with autofocus
- F.M Radio (built in iTrip?)

Software stuff
- Push Notifications: like push email, but for applications like Twitter, Facebook, whatever.
- MMS
- Copy'n'Paste
- Better battery management

All for the sake of waiting a month or soo.

Microsoft are going to anounce something phoen related at E3, probably.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

hmm
I'm going to guess it'll be more expensive to get on contract then, I was looking at a 16gb one on contract.

I'll ask in the Apple store then tomorrow, and the O2 shop.
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

I dont imagine you'll need a compass to go from the local gentlemans convenience to your fridge.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

I haven't been to a gig since I moved here.
I miss going to gigs, I used to always go.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

You should go to more gigs
That'd solve your issue
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

get a G1 instead

(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

that's exactly what a northerner would say
is it powered by steam and grey towns and poverty? ho ho
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:19, archived)

it's got a compass
i'm facing south west
(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:20, archived)

do you need to load up itunes to work with it?
because that would be really annoying
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:39, archived)

it comes with a free bath full of coal
and a whippet
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:40, archived)

i'm getting a magic
i'm getting a magic
lalalalalaaaaa
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:37, archived)

i meant this to sound excited, not smug
though i am just a little bit smug
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

my new phone smugness has just about worn off i think

(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:47, archived)

i'm at the waiting for it to break in some way stage

(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:48, archived)

how long did that take?

(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

I answered your second question before you even posted it.
I have the gift of Internet Prescience.

Either that or you just copied me. Stinky.

Also ... fuck the ipod compass ... get a proper phone with GPS you great cheese-swinging prancer.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

my current one's got that
and so does the iphone..but compass! I could twitter people telling them I'm facing north! Or west! go west!
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

Get a backtrack.
Then not only can you tell them you are facing west. You can tell them you are facing them.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

I'm a non-iphone user.
I'm seeing Church of Misery on thursday, Electric Wizard on friday, Mastodon in a couple of weeks and maybe Clutch the week after that.
Good times.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

Mastodon give excellent spread-legged low-slung rock stance.
I approve of their spread-legged low-slung rock stance.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

Me too, we managed to get on the front row for them in December.
The Melvins joined them on stage for a song too.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

What the hell is the point in a compass app?
It's not like you'll ever use it. Apple users don't stray too far away from other people. Their smug-cunt levels drop when there's nobody to pay attention to the fact they have an iPhone.
(

that is exactly why I want one.
Plus I can trade in my current phone, and ipod, and pay for the thing outright.
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

Hmm, that's a fair point.
As you were.
(

Next gig: toilet. Gotta poop.

(

Ttssattsr, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

FREEBIRD!
PLAY FREEE BIIIIIIRD
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:20, archived)

I'm going to glastonbury,
people with iPhones are gay
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

yes.
yes they are.
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

Except for you, straight boy.
I bet you're straight.

Haha, I bet you want to fuck a woman!
(

I like it when your dad pushes his moobs together and tucks his willy in between his legs
he's a naughty girl! yes he is!
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:18, archived)

Shut up, hetero!

(

He puts his willy into sardine kebabs to practice.

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:33, archived)

Me too!

(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:32, archived)

Depeche Mode in December
a looooong time away but I'm excited.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

ooooh
that sounds good. I'll youtube them.
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:19, archived)

I'm going to see The Specials on Friday night.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

the compass only works in bright daylight
not worth getting in Britain really. I didn't get it, but that's what the reviews all said.
Get one. I like mine.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:20, archived)

Times New Viking

(

scott,, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:23, archived)

ooh
*googles*
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:27, archived)

i'm going to see a b3tan play silly songs on saturday
rah!
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:41, archived)

Blur at Hyde Park
I'm clenched with excitement
(

Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Tue 12 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

on pay as you go
I pay a tenner a month for all the internet I can eat.
(

100% kitten better than ever, Tue 12 May 2009, 22:26, archived)

my day was fab!
..went to my AGM, lunch ran over by 2 1/2 hours, where we were spoiled rotten at a lovely wee restaurant, plenty tippsy-ness, loosening of tongues, (always the best bit of any meeting scenario)and now i'm in the garden with a lovely bottle of white. bliss.
(cheese-on-toast, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:00, archived)

Awww, some mouthy cunt is going to give you shit for this.
Happens to us all though.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Yay do I get a badge of some description?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

Yeah.
A great big one that covers up your whole awful mouthy face.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

Pinned through my nose?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

Pinned through your WHOLE MOUTHY FACE.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

OH GOD!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

When you talk it'll be all like hrrm srrrmy nnn cnnngggt tnrrk prmpmbly nnv grrn pnnngg frrrn mmnng frrrnks

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

how does it happen? the buttons to click aren't even slightly near to each other
i'm just wondering
(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

When I post like that.
You're the "mouthy cunt".

:(
The two-faced world of b3ta is always churning against JMG.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

Can we please get back to..
..www.b3ta.com/talk/4863178?
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

right

(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Who gives a shit about your day
LURKMOAR

/is tired, sits in the corner growling
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Well that's my Tuesday made a billion times better.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

The long range scanners are detecting an incoming JMG thread

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

Defcon: WOBBLE!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

Top gloating.

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

I'm going to a gig in a bit.
And I can spell and I know where the shift key is and I know where the reply button is. How do I beat you? Let me count the ways ...
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Ooh who who who?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

John "the lovely johnny bramwell" Bramwell.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

YAY

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

I know. I love Johnny.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

most of my day was spent stroking cats

(

Lightguy hail satan, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

I've been in the garden doing stuff today.
Band rehearsal now.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

I'M GOING HOME. :)
Then having tea then coming back to the library. :(
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

Can you shut the locker door before you leave?

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

Hmm?

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

I'm resurrecting old memes.
There was a short spell a few years ago where the board became obsessed with a webcam of a swedish library and the state of its locker doors.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

My xbox just went red and stopped working.
And you have the nerve to saunter in here and piss all over my greiving with your perfect day.

Fuck you.
(

JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Tue 12 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

RED LIGHT OF DOOM!

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

How was your day?
Mine involved being locked out, having the b-list celebrity neighbour look at me strangely when I asked him if I could have a ladder to climb into my upstairs bathroom window, travelling across west London to find my landlady and get her key, cry at how late I am and now I have to go to Portsmouth.

No ladder did my neighbour have :(
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

I worked,
drank tea, ate cake, got given wine for my birthday, daydreamed, got stuck in traffic and got home.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6144715
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

HELL YEAH

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

Happy birthday and all that
Is it good wine?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Thank you :D
My birthday was actually on Saturday but my boss gave me the wine today. YAY. It's not Lambrini so it's a winner in my book.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

i went to the cinema and then the pub

(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

If you were locked out were you going to climb onto the roof and wait there?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

No, I'm just too much of a spastic to climb the drainpipe into my bathroom
And then climb over a glass table without smashing it
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

Ah got ya.
Use the ladder and push it through the letterbox and then get a mate to thread you into the house.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

:)
I'm in now.

Next time I'm calling the boyfriend in from work. He's awesome at picking locks.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

It involved far too much work
But also ice cream, so it balanced out.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

The day I was sacked, I got a massive cone of Ben & Jerry's
On them :D
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

My day involved writing assignments in the morning
and putting 2 year-olds in victorian dress and getting them to smile in the afternoon.
(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

Nursery photos?

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

nah, just a hobby ;)

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

That's some serious niche pornography right there.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

I had to drop off work at uni before I went to work
I then found out that I handed it in at the wrong place.
Then I made friends with a girl on the desk next to mine.
Now I feel sick.
I'm going to cook some dinner.
I am starting to feel sick enough not to want to go out *sadfaces*
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

Try feta stuffed olives
Made my day
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

Ewwww - olives are gross

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

Fucking good for you though
And they're definitely an acquired taste. I hated them when I first tried them, and I grew to love them.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:37, archived)

Yeah. They're like chubby green aspirin.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

I slumbered till late morning, walked up to Morrisons and pissed about on the internet.
In a little while I'm heading down the boozer. I tell you, it's a laugh a minute here at Kaplan Towers.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 12 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

my cat pissed on my bra
*kills cat*
(

Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6144715
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

It's certainly graping my squildo.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

Weirdly
I was thinking of that phrase yesterday when I was painting my front door. HELLO.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

That oil-based paint is like glossy spanish fly.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

You're not wrong

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

My day involved sitting in Cambridge University
Library, trying to do some work and then having my brain probed for money
(

its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

Oh, them people who drag you off the street and do surverys then give you £50 for an hour?
That was one of the best afternoons of my life when I lived in Edinburgh
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

Nah, it's a medical research council thingy
I'm signed up to a panel so they tell me when they have experiments and then give me money :D
(

its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

Cor!

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

What university sorry?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

the One I like to mention
because it makes me look good, obviously ;)
(

its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

i did loads of stuff this morning
then the dog had a spack, and i had to look after him, and open all the windows in the house really wide because i think it's related to solvent fumes. and my pac code still hasn't arrived so i don't get to treat myself to a shiny new phone yet
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

What do you mean it hasn't arrived?
They can give you it on the spot!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

i expect it depends on the vendor
i phoned up orange and asked for one, and they said they'd post it to me. how does one get them to give it to you immediately?
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

Ask them to give you it right away
I've made the PAC call for a few people; phone n00bs or just people not wanting to speak to retentions teams.

Orange CAN give it to you.
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

ooh
well if it doesn't hit my doormat tomorrow morn, i shall do this. thank you sir!
(

spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:57, archived)

My day mainly consisted of sweating, pooing, & wondering how long you can go without food

(

broadsword, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

Sounds like my average work day.
With extra shitting.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 12 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

I woke up and was in the library for 8am.
I am still in the library. I haven't got much to show for it.

BAD DAY.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

You need a walk somewhere green before you get back to study

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

I need a teleporter and a kiss and a cuddle and some new shoesies.
But I'll settle for a walk during my next break.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

In many ways, I live in Portsmouth.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:37, archived)

You have my condolences.

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 12 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6144715
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

I hope I haven't created a monster.
But if I have, I hope it smells of cat piss and gloss paint and is wearing a stiff collar.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

Yes, yes you do
Don't suppose you're driving to London tomorrow evening are you?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:43, archived)

I don't have a ladder,
I have a small stool though
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

My day mostly involved watching surgery.
And then making a curry with naan bread, which I'm currently devouring.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:43, archived)

NAAN
It's a great word is NAAN.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:44, archived)

I woke up
I shouted obscenities into the toilet
I rang work to explain that
and then I slobbed around all day on the sofa feeling glum.

I'll have pizza in 30 minutes or so though.
(

moohalaa, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

Fucking shite
My cat has been diagnosed as chronioc kidney disorder.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

Sorry to hear it, sweetheart

(

Fluzzy namby-pamby pudding and pie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

Dead cat lols.
/sympathy
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:50, archived)

Poor thing
Put down, or medication?
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

pills ans suplements for now
Inevitably she is going to have to be put down or left to waste away in misery.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:53, archived)

well, it'll be for the best
Let the thing die with dignity
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

Does it need kitty dialysis?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:53, archived)

Dreary and monotonous as ever.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:50, archived)

Sorry I mean it was fantastic
I had a sandwich and some crisps!
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:52, archived)

Did you have crisps IN the sandwich?
That would be genuinely exciting Food News.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:53, archived)

I put some in the sandwich
and ate some out of the packet!
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

OH EM GEE
www.b3ta.com/talk/5544182
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:57, archived)

Whoa.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:57, archived)

ARGH!
HEDGEHOG ON AN APPLE! ARGH!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

That is uttertly adorable

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

Your winky has got arms :'(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

Wow baby hedgehogs are wrinkly

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking hedgehogs on this Motherfucking apples!

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

I've come up with a new breakfast cereal for kids (fat kids)
they're clumps of rice krispies, coco pops, sugar puffs, nuts and pop rocks bound together with whatever it is they put on honey nut flakes 9honey I would guess)
they're calle Tasteroids(TM) and may or may not come with cornflakes in the shape of spacemen and rockets

whaddya reckon?
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

what the hell is wrong with you

(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

nothing that some more sugar wouldn't fix
bestest game ever
www.pizmogames.com/games/load.php?g=sugarcrash
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

no, this is
dl.getdropbox.com/u/658973/EnviroBear2000.zip
(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

no, that's a zip file that I have to download and do things with and may contain evil porn robots
so it loses
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

you lose
since you'll never get to play it
(

well, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

I reckon I would sooner eat a plate of cold AIDS than that

(

WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

I've heard AIDS are like caviar
but they taste more like sick.
(

TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

I reckon kids should eat proper breakfasts,
not this cereal/sugar hybrid stuff.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

Yeah. Bloody cereals.
It was far better before we domesticated grains and lived off berries and roots and raw rodents.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

what the fuck are you talking about?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

Agriculture. Pastoral farming. Luxury. It was far better when we were hunter gatherers.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

oh right.

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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

My mum used to feed me gravel. and that's if I was LUCKY!

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

I used to eat dried weetabix
because I wanted to be like woody woodpecker.
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TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

The crumbs would fall down your jimjams, intro your gusset and it would chafe your front bum, but you didn't tell anyone because it felt dirty good.

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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

That's the first time I've heard the Wrong Horn sounding on here for ages.
I miss goatworrier.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

*doffs cap*
Someone had to go there, and I'll be damned if it wasn't me!
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

Errrrrrrrr.
I was about 3.

I did used to cheat at dominoes by hiding them in my nappy though. Not sure quite how that works but I was 3.
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TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

So you grasped basic counting before the art of not shitting in your own trousers.
This is an interesting revelation about human evolution.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

i was fed Roughage K as a boy
never did me any harm *jaw locks*
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weaver., Tue 12 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

i think this too
but i suspect the reason i think this is that i was never allowed sugary breakfast cereals. even shreddies had too much sugar, apparently

looking back on this, i realise quite how important it is to keep unnecessary sugar away from rugrats. i could eat three shredded wheat at age 8 though
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spacefish bong!, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

Yeah, go for it.
Kellogs will be easy competition.
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Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Tue 12 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

I think you've eaten too much sugar and should stop running around before you make yourself sick.

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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

I'm going to mash some fucking toast crumbs into various house animals and feed them to my kids
They'll be called Crumpets™
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

i reckon you work in a cereal factory
with a dirty floor
(Sawdustman now with added giro. again, Tue 12 May 2009, 18:11, archived)

That's how muesli was invented.
Except its inventor worked in a stable.
(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 12 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

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