Right. I'm off on The Holidays on Wednesday. To Bosnia.
What will I need?
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

:(

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

Who'd have thunk it?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

A BIGGER BOAT

( BILL DOOR - MOON-MASTER, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

kevlar helmet
mine-clearing equipment and racial intolerance of muslims

also, your sig ... are you sure that you didn't mis-hear "is" as "has" ? ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

It's all here
www.b3ta.com/talk/6208225
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

are you sure you've thought this through?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:00, archived)

I don't have time for anything like that.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

that was mildly entertaining
and I thought I overreacted!
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:44, archived)

Weaponry

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

A STYLISH HAT.

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

Slovenia flag shirt

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

Yay!
No work for me because of the queens birthday, I want to go to the beach, but Skeg is 40 miles away and I don't have a car :-( I might go to the swimming baths instead.

Who else is still drunk from the weekend?
( C, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

not drunk but a bit hungover
is it bank holiday in england too?

im gonna sunbathe on the terrace.. then later stroll by the beach and look at boobs
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

It's not a bank holiday here, but civil servants get awarded an extra day of leave in honour of the occasion, and a lot choose to take it today.
( C, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

niiiiiiiiiice
her birthdays in april though right?

but being on b3ta on a day off makes me feel like I am at work
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

she has two, the greedy bitch
double presents!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

NEAR THE TOP!
has anyone else had friend requests (facebook) from a "Allison Vermaak"

I don't know anyone from South Africa - other than loony-tune Sylv
(likeajackhammer, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

Does she have a Sherman Tank serial number on her neck?
And class whale song as her favourite sort of music?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

Who's David Hemming?
Gonz thinks I should be friends with him, but I'm fucked if I know who he is.

Cigarette time.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

Likewise, who is David Jon Hemming?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

more to the point, who is this matthew guy who keeps sending me all these violent sexually explicit messages?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

hehe that's ME :D

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

oh my!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

no idea

(likeajackhammer, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

Ah, can't be Bou then

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

Is it a holiday here then?
If so, what the fuck am I doing in the office?
( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)

weeing in the water cooler?
photocopying your bum?

how should we know what you're doing?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

cos you work in spain and not gibraltar :P

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

There's something funny about the water there.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

I'd like to go to the Skeggy too
but I have a job interview and it's biggest girl sprog's sports day.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

are you in the mum race?
when i was very little, my mum tripped during the mum race and i cried

good luck with the interview! where is it for?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

My mum was shit at running, she just giggles and wobbles about at 2mph coz she is diddy.

I was winning the skipping rope race but I waited before the finishing line for my friend. Story of my life.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

I'm not racing this year
When I raced last time, my belly came out and I came last.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

daww
you could just beat up all the other mums and saunter over the line
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

I thought about it
but then I thought it wouldn't set a good examples to the kids watching.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

what, that all problems can be solved with violence?
they have to learn some day :p
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

That's strange, I usually come first when watching the mums run.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

lolrude
;o)
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

oh man.. remember sports day when you were like 13/14
watching boobs and knickers come running down the track on 100metres..

good times.. good times
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Ah tell me about it! My knickers always rode up my arse when doing the shot put.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

O_o

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

I get that doing up my shoe laces :(

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

My bra tugs on my chest hair
Also tell your Mrs thank you for the randomburn and gifts, it was wicked :D
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)

Not me, that's for sure.
I'm going to see the tax man. If that's not bad enough, I've got to go to Peterbourough! FUCKING PETERBOUROUGH!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I bet you see at least one dwarf there.
My mate reckons that the only UK theatrical agency that specialises in dwarves is based in Peterborough, and later in the year fucking hundreds of them go there to get panto work.
( C, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

That would make my visit slightly tollerable.
pfffft mijits!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

Just keep telling yourself that things could be worse, - you could be having to go to Gainsborough, Doncaster or Scunthorpe, ALL of which are far worse than Peterborough.
( C, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

Christ. That would take some doing!
Sliding down the bannister of life, Peterbourough is but a splinter in the arse.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)

Peterborough is surrounded by a vortex
make sure you reach maximum velocity in order to escape.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

I intend to cruise at warp factor 1 until
I'm clear of the cameras then it's pedal to the metal and WF5 down the A1. This should ensure my escape.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Not me. No no no.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

I got excited about breaking the wii high jump record on mario & sonic. epic house party.
I fell alseep in a massage chair after trying to climb into a bin, with it on. I woke up with a sore back...whatarethechaces.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

"I fell alseep in a massage chair after trying to climb into a bin with it on"

WTF? was the massage chair on a bin that you were trying to climb into?
( C, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

comma added for clarity. Still doesn't make much sense though...

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

comma rarely adds clarity to anything
that girl makes no sense
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

Comma is awesome
I love her to bits
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)

tee-hee!
to
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

them too

( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

so, you gonna tell me where the interview is for?!
i asked way up there *points*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

St Johns Ambulance
p/t temp 'til christmas
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

ace. fancy your chances?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

it's the job I took
then turned down when I was offered JCT600. So depends if they remember me and how offended they were.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

well, you know you're a candidate then
sounds good. i don't think employers hold grudges about these things
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

Not me!
ONLY FIVE DAYS TILL TRANSFORMERS WHOOP!

Little spams near bursting with excitement and it's rubbing off on me.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

Transformers more than meets the eye
transformers robots in disguise
autobots wage the battle to destroy
the evil forces of
the decepticons

does anyone know if booking tickets at cineworld guarantees you particular seats.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

no idea sweets
I'm off to watch Transformers too. It looks good. Loads of explosions and running about.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

Jen it's mental how excited Ben is,
I am really excited for him.

We're watching the first film right now, and we've already written our own transformers story this morning. Hahaha.
( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

I haven't seen the first film
do I need to see it, before seeing this one at the pictures?
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

i wouldn't have thought so
but i think you'd enjoy it
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

If you can choose them when you book, yes.
I know at Vue it's "sit where you like"
( WHARRGARBL, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

Have they confirmed what rating it is yet ?
All the adverts I've seen for it all still say TBC
( turb0t, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

I haven't had alcohol for months
I think I must have drank so much when I was 18-21, coupled with the fact I work in an offie that I hardly touch the stuff anymore.
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Not drunk, having not had any alcoholic beverages at the weekend
Plus I'm at work, does it get any worse?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)

your leg falls off?

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

Me.
I'm sobering up now though. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

I'm now sober,
I do not have any fags either,
I'm going to have to get my highs from coffee today :(
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

Come to Tring and you can have....five cigarettes.
Which is half of what I have.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

That's very nice of you
but I'll just buy some on the way home from work.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:08, archived)

*shunned*

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

I know!
That wasn't nice of him at all! He might as well as spit in your face. What a horrid little man.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:13, archived)

He once put his hand in my pocket to try and get cigarettes too.
The fucking tease.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

Men!
They only ever want one thing. Cigs.
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

Mine currently wants the answer to
'how to beat this chap on Afro Samurai'.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

ummm
kick it?
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

can he kick it?

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

He's bought infamous now
he's sent Afro Samurai to Coventry.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)

That looks pretty good
Shame I got rid of the PS3 :P
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

It looks alright from what I saw
over the top of my book.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

:)
I introduced my wow addicted friend to team fortress 2 on Saturday evening, looking at his steam profile he was playing it until 5am Sunday morning :S
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

Not a CLUE
what you just said :D
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

It seems he's replaced one addicting computer game with another
It's weird to me when he has a perfectly lovely girlfriend, maybe he's more of a geek than I give him credit for :)
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

i really wish i liked fps games
i really like what valve are doing with TF2 and i'd like to be a part of it

ah well
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

I used to love fps games
I don't so much now, I do enjoy TF2 for a couple of hours a week though.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

i just completed that yesterday afternoon
i really enjoyed it
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

Once he's done with it
I'm going to see how quickly I can rip through.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

it's worth taking the time to do side missions
you get more xp to buy new powers, you unlock medical clinics and police stations and other people that help you out AND it clears areas of the city of bad dudes
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

play better

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

Even when they don't smoke?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

yes
men have one track minds
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

well that's another thing I didn't remember doing that night...

(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

This just gets better and better.
Not ONLY did you almost ish poke my pubis mons, but you don't even remember it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

Nope,
count yourself lucky though.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:19, archived)

Oh I do, I do.
You're one of the few drunkards who doesn't annoy me, that's worth feeling lucky alone.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)

yeah, right.
;o)
( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)

I'm still a little high
luckily for me just as I was calling in sick my manager phoned up to tell me to come in after lunch.
Score
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

My brother in law is in hospital having put his back out at work
My best friend's husband is in ICU with a shadow on his lung

My in-laws don't think I do anything round the house because I don't wash up every night (instead, I cook, clean, raise the children, and 0do laundry)

My hubby is building our dream house with his Dad and not involving me

MLIF

/emo blog
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

i thought that said he was in hospital 'having his back out'

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

Stop trying to take attention away from poor brave SSG

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

4eva in our heartz <3

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

spelling is too competent
must try harder

/edit: getting there. keep going
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

i´ve gone as far as i can go :(

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

4EVA IN ARE HARTZ <3 x0x0x0x

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

wow..... you are good at this

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

i learnt from facebook

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

This
all her problems seem pretty pathetic in comparrison.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

it's all WAH WAH WAH, brave little big man SSG doesn't behave in this way

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

he suffers in silence
he is my hero
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Have you tried talking to him properly?

First downfall there...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

Also I wish I had a superhero in my lungs
MORNING ALL! Did you miss me?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

i didn't, no, but that is mainly due to the fact i ingnore most of your posts as i can't understand gibberish, no offence

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

fair enough :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

*wave* yo.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

word up daawwwwwwwwg *throws gangster signs, gets told off for littering*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

No I spoke to you yesterday

(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

I think you should just leave now...
can I lick your face?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

yes, no

(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

no, yes

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

phew, you haven't left after all
morning, poopot
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

Nah, I just wasn't at work last week and was chilling out and exploring my bushes in the garden.
Turns out, that there are no secret doors in my garden. I'm really upset :(
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

well, i guess your course is clear
you must build one. dig a tunnel to the pub. that would be stone cold brilliant
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

Fuck me, this is a genius idea!
Or maybe I should dig a small pit and put a case of lager in it! OOOOOOOOOH!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

i'll help you dig if you're willing to share the beers

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)

we'll do it at chbs

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

oh that is so a deal

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

also, that looks like 'chebs'. tee-hee!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:50, archived)

my legs and back are sore.
I'm awesome and fit.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

I hope I can take time off to be with the kids when I'm a mum.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

With her kids?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

Nah, she'll probably overreact and call press conferences and stuff.
It'll have to be my own.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

any of you lot come near my kids and i swear i'll do time

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

I just want to hug them :(

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

*surprisehugs*
Morning captain, how are you?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

I feel a bit icky
but essentially fine. You?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

Icky Icky captain :D Hope you feel better after your BBQ induced tummy upset.
Pretty well today, my aquarium is gone so the last couple of nights have been eerily silent though (unless you count the pisshead shouting matches at 2-3am and the drunken/drugged fight on Friday night which I found quite amusing).
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

I love the hum of an aquarium.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:44, archived)

Yes!
Still, my sister is overjoyed with the replacement for her much smaller tank :P
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:47, archived)

how does he have a shadow on his lung?
i have no idea what this is

hope everything gets better tho :) chin up
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

Google it?
www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/lungs/204870.html
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

today I learnt something
*skips away into the distance*
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

It's those Denizens, always causing trouble...

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

It could be Hank.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

Your in-laws are tossers.
Lots of internet well-wishing for your brother-in-law and BF's hubby, though.
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

shadows?
on me lungs?
i'm being eaten away... this is the end of me...
oh god in heaven help me [DUMPH}
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

What's that all about?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:38, archived)

Michael Caine as Alfie in the film Alfie discovering the results of his medical check up.
Then he goes to hospital and fucks the nurses.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

I wish I had shadows on my lungs.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

I want to fuck nurses.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

nu a
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:46, archived)

beggars can't be choosers

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

I know
I was referencing the fucking song, you spastic
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

pehaps he is building his dream house, for him alone, no offence
wash up times
( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

I read MLIF
as MILF :)
( Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

Me too

( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:40, archived)

Me three

( turb0t, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

I've forgotten my works pass,
I'm going to be late and I'm still a bit drunk. Hello you beautiful freaks, how badly has your day started?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:38, archived)

I woke up in a warm, comfy bed
looked briefly at the clock and then my lovely purchases/birthday pressies from London and realised I don't have to work today.

I think my day has started particularly well.
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:40, archived)

yeah, but...
you're on the internet
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

It's true.
But not for long! COFFEE, AWAY!
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

Cup of tea, two slices of toast with jam.
Bill 'The Sex' Turnbull giving me the news, work on time.
Score.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)

Not at all badly
I had coffee and potato cakes for starters. I might have some muesli shortly, I am headache free and naked. There you, go. A nice mental picture for you.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)

Exactly the same as yours
only I remembered my pass!
I did forget to make sandwiches though :(

Bad times
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)

i woke up, had a massive heart attack and was dead by 7

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:44, archived)

Spare a thought for that brave boy, ssg.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:46, archived)

I've got AIDS and I get no bastard symapthy. And I'm Maddie.
Dreadful business
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

we'll you see it is more of a popularity contest, we all like SSG

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

You horrible bastard

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:00, archived)

no offence

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

all my thought are with our brave little soldier Sir Sand Goblin, i haven't seen him use this forum for a while, i hope he is ok, well as ok as a person dying of a painful cancer can be

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

hurr, you only have one thought
you're thick, hurr
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

i woke up, cooked the breakfast, stared at some things, decided i was in no fit state to work, went back to bed, logged on
hello internets!
( spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:48, archived)

Why did I not take today off?
In other news I am looking more and more beetroot like since last night. Oops.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:50, archived)

what happened?
did you offend the king of the beetroots?
( spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)

i hope she did, he's a bellend

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

No I spent the weekend on a beach
I may be a little bit sunburnt, although I might have offended the king of the beetroots too. I'm not sure.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

ah, on reflection i should have guessed :)

( spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

mine has started quite well actually, thanks

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

Woke up at 6am, fell back asleep
again at 7, again at about 8.20
Microwaved last nights pizza for breakfast (ooh yeah)
( moohalaa, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

Musn't grumble
but I'm going to anyway.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:58, archived)

This is fucking creepy
io9.com/5288834/first-real-cyborg-a-robot-controlled-by-a-living-brain
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

right that's it
it's the end of the world
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

let's get ready to grumble

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

I feel a bit sick.
I went to a barbeque yesterday, but all the food was finished off in the oven so as to NOT give people food poisoning. Hmmm.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

someone invited me to dinner yesterday and gave me vegetarian lasagne
i'm glad someone somewhere was eating my share of the meat
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

Oh, it was lovely.
I think it wouldn't have been me that ate your share, I was a good girl. Mr Wow managed to eat above 7 or 8 different meat things, though, bless him.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

i love barbecues
decent ones, like. not the ones where someone just dumps a bag of frozen supermarket sausages on and calls it a day
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

No, it was decent
I got smacked in my already broken face with a tennis ball, though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

i took a cricket ball to the jaw once
ouch
why was your face already broken?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

Some bell end in town punched me in it
this would usually be fine were it not for the four massive sovereign rings and my habit of wearing glasses. Cracked orbital socket, painy problems with my eye muscles. It's been this way for almost 2 years though, so I'm used to it.


I didn't go down though, I shouted at him, he ran away and got rugby tackled by a police lady as I was too busy being clucked over by about 10 women that appeared from nowhere.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

bloody hell
how can you even fit 4 'sovs' on one hand?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

I'm the wrong person to ask...
That's the first and last time I've even touched a sovereign ring.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

when i was in college, my girlfriend worked on the elizabeth duke counter in argos
i actually couldn't believe some of the crap they sold there
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

Those articulated clown necklaces always make me laugh.
especially the HUGE ones.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

You obviously don't live in Essex.

( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

i'm glad it's obvious
i wouldn't want there to be any confusion
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

Neither do I
otherwise, knowing them girls, I'd have probably deserved it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

Yep.
I'm an avid barbequer, in the summer it gets used at least 3 times a week.

My turkey for Christmas got cooked in it three years ago.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

the most memorable barbecue i ever had was in finland
in january
on an island in the middle of a frozen lake
we had to dig it out of the snow before it could be lit!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Brilliant!
I only did my turkey on the barbeque beceause we had LOADS of people and there wouldn't have been space in the oven for potates and things had the turkey been in there too. I have since bought a nice new massive oven.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

well... came into work on a bank holiday and an hour later im back home

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

Oh well
A bit of a pisser that you had to get up, but at least you have a day off.

What sort of bank holiday is it?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

queens birthday :/
a day to celebrate having been part of the commonwealth or some shit
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

ok, i've just found out that my boss is leaving
that's pretty shit because i like my boss
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

i like my boss I'm self-employed
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

that would be cause for celebration, surely?
since 'my boss' is going for a better job
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

My day just got better.
I didn't forget my works pass at all. I was still late and I am still drunk though.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

my face looks less burnt today
it's the comedy sunglasses mark that is annoying me more, to be honest
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

Ha ha ha.
Oh man, that's SUCH a good look.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

i know
*sadburntface*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

well the help ain't short, when your digging your grave now,
well the help ain't short, No, I WILL HELP YOU DIG IT!
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

Still drunk? Blimey, you must have
had some leftovers from the weekend! I was a good boy, 2 rum and colas, 2 films and a read before bed.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

I had 5 pints.
That's nice isn't it.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

Lovely.
5 pints of what though?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

i enjoyed a cold cider at the seafront
sitting by the bandstand watching some latin music troupe

i trust you had a good weekend, geemo?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

I blasted through some woods in Glen Tress on a mountain bike

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

sounds EXCITING

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

I was drinking vodka, lime and soda.
Home measures. In a fucking pint glass.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

Christ on a cunting bike!
Vodka poured into a pintglass sounds risky! I'm sure lots of vodka looks like not very much in one!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

that was Jeffrey Bernard'd favourite tipple, and he was ok
apart from the mental hospital stays, pancreatitis the diabeties, losing his right leg and dying in his own filth
( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

I was blocked in my drive by the delivery lorry for the pub next door
That made me 10 minutes late for work.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

So apparantly its a bank holiday in Gibraltar
so i'm an idiot not knowing in Gib it's the queens birthday so its a bank holiday. That would explain why its like a ghost town and my taxi fare was double.

so i'm the only one in the office.. after a night of fighting mosquitos, having the shits, and only getting a couple of hrs sleep.

how much of a loser am i?
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:09, archived)

You're as much as a loser as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
but at least he's done something about it.
( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:11, archived)

I wish I was you, in Gibraltar.
Are you in Gibraltar? That would be ace. You'd get Gibraltar points for mentioning Gibraltar. That would make all the girls in Gibraltar want to have sex with me in Gibraltar.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:12, archived)

Yes I am in Gibraltar
But I won't be in Gibraltar long. If you want to come to Gibraltar to have sex with the girls in Gibraltar, you can come and stay at mine so we can go on /talk all day.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:17, archived)

A kind offer from Gibraltar, but declined in Skipton.

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:19, archived)

I've been to skipton
you have a pub with the same name as the one in emmerdale

and fields. lots and lots of fields.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:21, archived)

The Commercial?
There's no Woolpack, but the original boozer that they used in Esholt was really called the Commercial.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:24, archived)

oops
it was during a drive around. It was in Yeadon.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)

I read that as, "LOOK AT ME! I'M IN SKIPTON."
Bloody show-off.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:32, archived)

What a shit I am
I mean, really.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:34, archived)

I wish I was you, in Yorkshire.
Are you in Yorkshire? That would be ace. You'd get Yorkshire points for mentioning Yorkshire. That would make all the girls in Yorkshire want to have sex with me in Yorkshire.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:18, archived)

I've knobbed the lot of them.
Even the stout thighed farmers' daughters who leave you no choice at closing time. Each and every one of them.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:20, archived)

Well done
I do particularly love stout-thighed farmers' daughters.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:22, archived)

Ding ding ding
"Last orders, please"

"Oi, you. Yer coming with me."

"Yes, miss"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:25, archived)

Get pissed in Otley often?

( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)

Never go boozing in Otley
A town famous for being the fightingest town in the country. More arrests for violent disorder per capita than any other. True fact.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:28, archived)

That does surprise me.
I'd have thought that towns with large military bases or docks would be the worst.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:37, archived)

I seem to recall it being the lead story in the T&A many years ago

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:42, archived)

wasn't it
the queens birthday last monday? Australia celebrated it then
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:13, archived)

Trouping of the Colour was on Saturday

( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:15, archived)

The queen uses extra-long time zones.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:15, archived)

i don't know :/
i would google it but i'm too lazy

maybe they choose which mondays they want to associate with her birthday?

ffs... what a day
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:16, archived)

MORNING!
It's my birthday on Saturday. What are you buying me?
( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 7:46, archived)

Nothing, you dwarfish nibbler of prepubescent perinea
Good morning. And for the older amongst you, it seems to be IMRBM's birthday today. This is important. Hello.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 7:49, archived)

It is indeed. She came to visit Tom and us this weekend and Tara baked her a cake.
Happy Birthday Rah.
( FoldsFive, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 7:56, archived)

Good morning, Grandad
How's the glittering jewel of the Midlands this morning?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 7:59, archived)

Not bad at all. Having to work from home because I've got a chap from British Gas coming
round to fix my broken boiler so I can have hot water again. This is as exciting as it gets.
( FoldsFive, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:02, archived)

Ooh *visit fives*
There's some dude coming to inspect the current digs for some kind of energy efficiency certification this morning. Turns out they need this sort of thing these days. If I tell him it takes forty quid a week to heat this place in winter I might save him a bit of time and effort.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:06, archived)

Rah rah rah!
Hip hip! RAH!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:08, archived)

I hope she hasn't changed her number or some poor bastard is going to have a very odd text message waiting for them

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:10, archived)

I'm selling you to a fat arab as a plaything.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:07, archived)

A haircut
And a makeover so you won't look like paedogollum any more.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:26, archived)

murray walker
anyone?
( RBX13 the cake is not a lie, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:25, archived)

Your mum?
randomn.es/images/50fb9a8544ad9b735ed153270988aa57.gif
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

For some reason they got the albino fella who was on big brother
on the live Basketball coverage on FIVE
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:27, archived)

ha ha ha
what was is name? Darnell he was a walking joke
( RBX13 the cake is not a lie, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:28, archived)

yeah
I haven't got the sound on, but I think he was American? I guess that is their tenuous link...
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:32, archived)

I just finished watching Die Hard
I don't know who Murray Walker is.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 3:47, archived)

Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this Eurotrash.

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 5:34, archived)

Lord Gnome is OLD.
Like, proper old.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

DID SOMEONE SAY GNOME?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

Yes, GNOME.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post262831
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

Another?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

I tried to create a SSG tribute thread on account of his cancer of the pancreas and got told to go somewhere else.
Terrible bullying, brilliant backseat modding.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:00, archived)

he fought in the crimean war

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

i'm old
not proper old, it was my birthday on friday so i'm older than i was this time last week

i think i should go to bed now
night night
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

some say he was the original top gear stig
But that's bollocks really.
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

How old is he?

Bed, for me.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

Like, totally, 40. Maaaan.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:57, archived)

Oh dear me, I can smell the piss already.
Bed for me too.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:59, archived)

He should just kill himself now.
Spare himself the agony of forgetting his own name and shitting all over the place.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

he'd probably fail at that,
being so old and rubbish and stuff etc
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

You're so lucky.
SSG - forever young.

Or at least never getting old.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

Suck my balls
You fucking dipshit.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:01, archived)

loolol they're located somewhere near my knees lololol

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

And when I piss in a urinal
I kick the drips off the end of my cock.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:07, archived)

You are such a mean old man.
/ac
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:02, archived)

Older than God?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:04, archived)

Pint of Adnams is it?

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:05, archived)

I'm more an Ossett man.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:11, archived)

meh
I could quite easily crush a grape. Maybe even two. In fact, I reckon if I crush enough of them I could make some wine and drink it.

why are you awake at this hour?
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

i am quite unwell.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

What's wrong SSG?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Oh yeah, the terminal cancer.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

it's more interminable.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

cancer!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Couldn't you have just silently arrived in my thread below, which is awesome?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

I just did

( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

hold two grapes together between 2 fingers
now have your friends bet on which one will be crushed and which one will withstand the squeezing
now i'm off to bed
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

Well if you're going I'm going.
I don't want to be stuck here with TBL.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

just don't go with me

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

I'm just home from the pub.
Going to bed now.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

Can I go as well?

( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

I'm nocturnal

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

A brace of ducks.
Like OH SHIT, BRACE YOURSELVES, THERE ARE DUCKS COMING!

Mike's thread was better, I feel. I'm going to bed.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:56, archived)

I didn't finish work till midnight.
Thanks to my complete and utter twat of a co-worker throwing a childish little paddy and storming off home just becuase he was left with a bit of cleaning to do.

It's a shame I won't be there tomorrow when the gaffer tears him a new arsehole. Assuming he's still there tomorrow.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 2:08, archived)

What's the most awesomest collective noun.
I'm a big fan of an ambush of tigers. You should just agree with me really and then start a new thread.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:46, archived)

parliament of crows,
named after the way they supposedly surrounded a weak crow and ate its eyes out then raped the corpse, though there is no evidence of crows or polititians doing any of this.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

Not disagreeing here cus you have cancer.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

In fact you could have been WELL racist a few months ago and everyone would forgive you for it, on account of your crippling cancer.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

a failure of threads

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:47, archived)

A fuck you of Just Harry's

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

i think you'll find i'm
grouped in with the collective term for gingers
which i shall not speak here
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

A shitstorm of gingers?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

A genefail of gingers?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

A lets take the piss out of gingers?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:51, archived)

A playground of peados?

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)

Oh cool.
That suits them.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

Not as well as "a stripy oh fuck it's coming right for us, jesus did you see the size of its fucking teeth of tigers" though

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

Yer, true.
We have a cat called Stripey. He's a vicious cunt, he could do you damage.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:52, archived)

A conflagration of pyromaniacs

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:50, archived)

a molestation of autistics.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

a pod of b3tans

( scott,, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

a rape of b3tans

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

a cunt of b3tans

(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

"bolus of wankers"
or "shower of cunts".
( benryves Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:54, archived)

pick one from here
users.tinyonline.co.uk/gswithenbank/collnoun.htm
( TBL I posted this on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:55, archived)

A shower of bastards

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:58, archived)

DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK
FUCKING DUCK
i wish this medication would kick in, YEAH DUCK DUCK DUCK
what is your favourite duck, keep me entertained so i don't feel quite so ill from all this cancer.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

Coot
I think that's a duck.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

*unsure about ducks five*

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

We're so uncertain, together

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

You two quack me up.
You're like birds of a feather.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

Oh beak-quiet
Look what we've started :(
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

I just thought of it on the fly.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

eider thought you could check it online

( scott,, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

on the web?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

On the webBED FEET

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

yes, for free.
there would be no bill
( scott,, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

Flock me.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

I had a pet duck once called Dr. Quackers
He was ace, and when we tried to re-home him in the big lake near my house he waddled back to our front door and quacked loudly outside so he was a homing duck too.

We also got him to swim around in our bath to get him used to it when he was a little duckling but he was scared of all the rubber duckies.

And and and he thought he was a cockerel and used to quack really loudly when the sun came up.

Ahhhh, great times with Dr. Quackers.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

how did he taste?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

I don't know.
You'd have to ask the fox that ate him.
:(
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

where can i find the fox that ate him?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

He lives in Oxford.
Other than that I don't know.

He didn't leave a card or anything.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

quite the elusive fellow.
sounds like an interesting character.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

he was eaten by a tiger
in norwich
(Just Harry What should I put here?, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:53, archived)

The mallard.
I think that's a duck, anyway. I'm no duck expert.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:32, archived)

Oh man, you should like totally play that "Good Ridance (time of your life)" song at your funeral.
That would get all the hawtiez all emotional and vulnrable and up for it.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

I'd start a Facebook group.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

I like drakes.
Hello SSG.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:33, archived)

I read that as darkies.
You horrible, racist cheater.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

wut

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

I passed out during the bingo, which allowed you to win.
I'm classing this as cheating.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Nooo, I'm just brilliant.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

What great prize did you win?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

I dunno yet.
I have to gaz mongy my address. I am dubious.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

hello new internet friend!
how are we?
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

Hello, new internet friend!
I am fine, how are you?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

i feel awful, absolutely awful.
obviously it is the cancer.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Well, yes.
Have you any lovely morphine to take the edge off?

*mops your brow*
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

morphine equivalent.
i just have to be careful not to take too much.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

You know Jumanji right.
When the bullet gets sucks back into the game at the end right? Well that hunter bought those bullets from the walmart or some shit in the real word and that and stuff, so it shouldn't have got sucked in.

I basically want to see Robin Williams being shot in the face.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)

but they are owned by the hunter!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

This is not an acceptable reason.
Everything that spawns from the game goes back in as well as the bullet that is centimetres from piercing Robin Williams' stupid skull.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:37, archived)

it is the reason though,
i should know,
i wrote it.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

I take back everything you cancer ridden trooper.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:39, archived)

Oh, now come on.
The man has cancer. Surely you can humour him on this?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

h t
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

:(
Did you get up to anything today, you poor soul?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:45, archived)

i laid around struggling to eat much.
trufax
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

Robin Williams is a cunt

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:40, archived)

And so hairy you could easily mistake him for Bigfoot.
Not that I'm anywhere near clean-shaven myself, but still.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:41, archived)

He makes me wish he got shot in the face at the end of Jumanji, SSG's second finest work.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

after the cgi in spiderman?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

I was thinking of your cow picture.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

my girlfriend loves it.
i told her she has to pretend she loves it though, so it is difficult to know the truth, the lying bitch.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:49, archived)

the one that used to live at our school
there was a big pond at the front of the school and a duck lived on it - it used to come and sit in the common room and eat bits of bread
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:35, archived)

What subjects did it do?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:38, archived)

Eggonomics

( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:42, archived)

Ahhh, egg!! he said egg!!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:43, archived)

EGG EGG EGG BEAK EGG BEAK BILL EGG

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:44, archived)

DUCK!
I've wrung a few hundred thousand chickens' necks in my time, does that count?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:36, archived)

If you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, what would it be?
JMG must have posted about an hour ago etc
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:11, archived)

fishfinger

( scott,, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

Silly Scoot.
Fishes don't have fingers.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:15, archived)

no meat for me then :(

( scott,, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

Chicken
I bloody love chicken, me.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

Wagyu Beef

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:13, archived)

mammal

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:14, archived)

He'll be cross.
Probably pork.

Bacon chops are absolutely GORGEOUS.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:15, archived)

You get a lot of options if you go for pork.
Beef is also good for this.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:16, archived)

beef > pork
a nice argentinian steak with pink to red middle... mmm nomnomnom

and your knife just slides through the tender meat... beautiful.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

I have a semi.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:19, archived)

I prefer it well done though.
That hint of carbonated cattle.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:23, archived)

BAD!
you lose all the flavour

took me until I was 27 to appreciate it red in the middle, flavour is much, much more intense.

In a restaurant near me they won´t let you have it cooked all the way through, it insults the chef apparantly.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

I like it properly caramelised on the outside yes.
But pink and soft and full of tasty juiciness in the middle.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

now you´re talking
god damn starving now...

tapas run tomorrow me thinks
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

duck,
duck is lush
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

Chicken I think.
Anyone here been to/from York?
Is there much to do on a day trip there?
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:17, archived)

york is awesome
just walk around
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:18, archived)

It'll only be 25.50 for the 5 of us to go there by train for the day.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

York is ace.
Go to the Minster, have a walk round the walls, go to Betty's for some tea and cake and then go to the fish and chip shop on Petersgate because it's lush.

www.visityork.org/
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:20, archived)

I've looked at that site, but thanks.
Might just be good to go for a walk around.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

LUSH

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:31, archived)

The markets quite nice.
That's all I remember of York.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

it's not as good as the new one
but there's this place that does really nice soup. can't remember what it's called.
( scott,, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

the YMCA?

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)

oh i remember
it's tomato and basil
( scott,, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

not Heinze?
:D

off to bed night. up in 5 hrs :(
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

TENDERLOIN

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:24, archived)

Would 'Cattle' be to generic?

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:25, archived)

It's the same as saying 'Game' I suppose.
Which you just lost.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:27, archived)

Oh MAN !
I really hate it when I lose the Hypothetical Question game !
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:29, archived)

it would be cow.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:28, archived)

To be honest, I want to pick Duck, but I want to be edgy and cool by disagreeing with the hawtiez.
Prawn is probably my favorite, but it's not like the local kabab shop will stock them.
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:30, archived)

Hey what's the time?
What's your favourite time? Me.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:02, archived)

My favourite time is beer time.

( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:03, archived)

r
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

BzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzLLLLLLLLLLoooooooooooooollllllllllllll

( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

( . )( . )

(IWishFrizWasDead, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:24, archived)

any time that i am not concious.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

My favourite time is 7am
because I can switch the TV on and think "HA! I don't have to get up for another hour or so"

Good time(s)
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

JMG time

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:04, archived)

The BEST time!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:05, archived)

I'll go with that one
If it includes beer.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:06, archived)

THREE BEERS. NO FAT CHICKS.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:13, archived)

Is that a 3 beer limit?
If so, I hope it's a minimum limit.
( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:21, archived)

Probably JMG'o'clock.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:07, archived)

13:37
OH YER
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:09, archived)

What's your favourite failed US presidential candidate?
Is it Bob DOLE!?
( ArthurTheRat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:12, archived)

COMMIE!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:18, archived)

At the third stroke the time sponsored by accurist will be

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

IT'S TIME TO GET ILL

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:17, archived)

YES!!!!!!!!!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:19, archived)

I'm installing a 10 day trial of World of Warcraft.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:38, archived)

noooooooooooo

( ArthurTheRat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:42, archived)

But
*want*
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:43, archived)

I bet £10 that you buy a subscription.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

£20 that you get fat

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:44, archived)

£100 that you die alone

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:45, archived)

The 10 day trial is like an invitation to social retardation

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 0:48, archived)

It's crashed twice.
I fear this pc can't cope with it.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)

Your PC loves you. It's protecting you.
It is annoying when PC games crash all the time though. Very frustrating.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 1:05, archived)

What's JMG's favourite piece of classical music?
Night on Bald Mountain.
HOHO.
So why do YOU want to punch me?
( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

because you're ginger

(PsychoChomp, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

FIRST BLOOD!

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

An easy target.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

because you're there

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:14, archived)

I think you know why

( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

Out of jealousness.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:15, archived)

I have no fists.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Because my fists are just hankering to punch something.
Ever since rnuk wouldn't let me hit him in the face yesterday.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Because you get to start university from the beginning and I've finished and have to be a grown-up.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)

Only for 1 year.
Then you get to do MA stuff yes?
:D
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:18, archived)

Yes yes yes. It might even be an MSc. Fancy, eh?

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

I want to be a master
Damn money woes.
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

But if I've done it wrong my best bet is Leeds instead of SOAS :(

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:26, archived)

It's the only way I'll ever get to fist you

( broadsword, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

lots of reasons, though I guess that whole looking like Ron Weasley thing would be top of most people's lists

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

My nickel fingers covered in iron rings are attracted to your coppery locks
and they want to make sweet, sweet cunifer together
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:20, archived)

Brilliant.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

Your watch might be worth something.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:24, archived)

The smoke alarm is going "BIP!" every few minutes, but I have no 9v batteries.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

ii've got to punch SOMETHING

( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

PUNCH THE POOR
It's Not Just A Party; It's A Movement
( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

For the kicks

( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:25, archived)

lol don't you lol mean for the lol punches lol

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

I'd punch him to the ground
then get the kicks in
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

I'd kick his kecks.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

'd kick his kecks have cat legs
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

Hello woman.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

Hello you
How's it hanging and that?
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

Why couldn't I have had my Viva weeks ago?
Bloody bastards leaving it so late.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:27, archived)

Y viva esturnips

( broadsword, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

They're just trying to sort the MOT they promised before delivery.
www.philseed.com/images/vx-viva-69.JPG
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

fuck off you tedious self-obsessed dullard

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

:(
www.b3ta.com/links/328311
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

rofl i see a blank page

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:28, archived)

?
www.b3ta.com/links/328313
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

I am likely ignoring whoever posted it.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

Yeah it's quite likely that page is blank for many more people.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:31, archived)

my innards feel terrible

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

punching a ginger won't help :(

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

We did a fantastic tribute thread in your memory today SSG.
It was immediately shit on by some autistic blue namer, obviously, but it's a fitting tribute.

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post451401
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

fitting

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

Heed the advice SSG
www.b3tards.com/u/63e645c3826fa9bc7564/bestrong.jpg
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

I was in Cardiff this morning.
It was very subdued. I didn't wear a hat, out of respect for yourself.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

I had a heavy weekend exercising, I'm fucking sexy I am

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

no doubt.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:29, archived)

I should model

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:30, archived)

I would buy every copy of that catalogue

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:32, archived)

even if it was just betterware

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:34, archived)

vacuum packed Gmos

( GrandmaOfShoes, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:37, archived)

I don't want to punch you.
Should I want to punch you?
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

Not yet.

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:33, archived)

In your case you can substitute "fist" for "punch."

( Lord Gnome, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:44, archived)

it just started like totally a whole bunch of real raining here

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:35, archived)

no rain here yet
will keep you posted
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:36, archived)

srsly dude it was like totally not raining then like a whole bunch of raining and I was like woah wtf and it was like lol yeah rain tiems and shit

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

I'm off outside for a fag.
I'll report back with a weather update in about 5 minutes.

Any chance we could get a new thread dedicated to this subject?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:39, archived)

I really don't think I could take much interest in it in a sub-thread.
I agree that it needs a new thread.

Still no rain here.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:40, archived)

It's quite mild outside, but looks like it could rain at some point tonight.
If there's any update, I'll let you all know.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

sorry, lost interest now

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:43, archived)

WHO LET THE DUCKS OUT?
QUACK QUACK QUACK
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:47, archived)

It´s like totally hot here
I´ve come to the office for some air con action
( broadsword, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:45, archived)

lol how do you find Will Smith in the snow lol
lol follow the fresh prints lol
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

lol

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

Seen it on PopBitch.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

GC!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

Surely it would be easier to spot the tall black person
in a huge field of white snow.

Why would you look for his foot prints? I think you've made that too complicated. Think on.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

You could just look for his massive penis as well.
You know, because he's black.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

That's just racist to assume all black people have large cocks.
I'm not black and I have a huge cock. Would you like to see a photo? 3.bp.blogspot.com/_RRIGqzPDF00/RmiAaDJ8YjI/AAAAAAAAA28/z8-TleZJQe0/s400/giant%2Bchicken%2Bcock.jpg
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

you could be Nigerian
and hung like a little brown cocktail shrimp
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

The prints would look like this

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
__________________________________
 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

( magnum, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

Obviously he dresses to the right

( magnum, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

or the left, if he's walking right to left
the foot prints don't really show the direction
( magnum, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

When I worked in a wetherspoons
a bunch of regulars asked me why I had a slight limp. I told them it's cos I have a large cock, and which side my limp is on depends on which side I've dressed today.

Amazingly, they all believed me without questioning me.
( CowJam, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Looks like he's limping a bit
I'm sure his cock would zig-zag as he walked
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v
 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -


-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

( magnum, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Big willy style.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

ouch. :)
Mind you, it's the only thing featuring Will Smith which has made me laugh
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

It makes me laugh when I think he turned down the role of neo to do Wild Wild West.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

At least he made up for it by doing Men In Black.
Best sci-fi film ever.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

laugh masturbate
the role of neo your Mum
Wild Wild West your Dad.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Kevin Smith talking about his Superman script
is fucking excellent (this is relevant to your comment).
( CowJam, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

I've heard that.
It was lolly.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

i just lost the game

( weaver., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

We were teaching a Lithuanian dude about the game last night
It took him a very long time to understand the concept.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

Did I tell you that I'm winning the game?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

:)
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/anti_mind_virus.png
( weaver., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Why the fuck would you link to the image on xkcd
and not the page with that image on it?

Half the joy of xkcd is the tooltip comment so linking to the image removes half the joke.
( CowJam, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

no idea
i linked to it somewhere else so i just looked for it there, must have been a 'tard on that day too
( weaver., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

cheer up, you win at being a dull prick

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

This sort of bullying will only upset him further.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

:',',',',',',',(

( weaver., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

What's with the sig?

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

got it from this
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=neptunes+kiss
( weaver., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:06, archived)

Oh.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

Is the game to have straight teeth?

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

maybe,
if you're living the american ideal
( weaver., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:13, archived)

Root it oot.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:57, archived)

Ah, you remember that from Adam & joe as well :)

( FoldsFive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:19, archived)

Of course I do.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:23, archived)

Is he the one singing:
Yo home polar bear!
( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

lololol

( broadsword, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

Fuck yeah!
It's the 90s all over again!
( CowJam, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

hahaha

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 23:12, archived)

I'm in Paris
in a soul destroying hotel room that has been pebble-dashed on the interior walls. The minibar only has overpriced water, and I'm getting gouged for the internet connection.

What's the most overrated place you've ever visited that's overrun with French people?
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

France.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

The Eiffel Tower.
It's shit.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

Your mother's cavernous vagina

( SuperMatt, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

Just be thankful you haven't burnt your neck yet

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

pfft!

( jenpots, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

he won't like it

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

the antarctic
it's just snow
( Lightguy hail satan, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

Croissant

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

Paris is fantata.
My sister walked in on my parents having sex this morning. Then I did the same 10 minutes later. Then both my mum and my dad felt the need to have separate conversations with us about it.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

were they bragging about it as they lasted over 10 minutes?

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

No. My mum's main line of argument when I looked awkward and told her to just not mention it
was to say "well, you have sex, why shouldn't I?".
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

I walked in on mine once.
And walked straight out, I don't think they noticed me having a wank.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

rolfmayo

( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

My mums cavernous vagina

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

do you mind? I'm trying to have a conversation here

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

Sounds like you're talking to yourself.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

*insert hilarious answer here*
I'm just back from camping and I am very pink and sandy. Stupid camping on a beach. How was the bingo last night?
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Go to Rouen.
It's much nicer.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

Following the election of the BNP and the Anti-Islam Dutch Party
it comes as no surprise that France has elected an anti-immigration politician to the European Council, Bloomberg reported yesterday.

Immigration has been blamed for a wave of troubles, not least the rise in gun crime by infinity in the nation's capital, Paris, last month.

"It is unprecedented," Chief Detective Francoise Grobbleonce commented following the gunning, which raised France to the top of the league in World Gun Crime based on increases. "All these years with not a single shot fired in the fair capital, and then this."

The shooting, which raised the number of reported incidents from 0 to 1, has been attributed by detectives to an immigrant, for the fucking obvious reason that none of the natives have shown any ability to shoot a firearm in the last hundred years.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

I hate Paris.
Nothing good has ever come of my visits there.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

I also hate Stoke.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

and Elephant & Castle.
It just didn't live up to the name.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

I was disappointed by that as well.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

Chichester French Market

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

Chichester French Market is shit.
They're all from Portsmouth. They just *pretend* not to speak English and have B.O.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

Yaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

YOUR MUM'S CUNT.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

I was thinking of going to Montreal

( magnum, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I was thinking of going to mount your mum.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA
CLASSIC
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

FUCK OFF TWAT

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

FINE

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

:)
Entertaining.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Paris has the rudest people I have ever encountered in the service industry
One waiter had my girlfriend in tears when we left, mind you she ended up fucking someone else so fair play to him. I might pop back & give him a euro.
( broadsword, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

I'm watching a bad copy of Terminator.
Is that Helena Bonham Carter or Chloe from Fight Club?
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

so I just had a piss and flushed the khazi and I was expecting blue water to flush because I always use a blue cistern block but it came out clear and I figure the cistern block must have dissolved away
have you ever just had a piss and flushed the khazi and expected blue water to flush because you always use a blue cistern block but it came out clear and you figured the cistern block must have dissolved away?

alt: favourite air freshener?
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:35, archived)

I use airwick freshmatic
I have one in the loo and one in my bedroom so they're always smelling nice.
( SuperMatt, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:36, archived)

Your bedroom smells like a toilet.
Fact.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:38, archived)

Don't they smell more chemical than fresh roses or whatever?

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

I'm a big fan of the scented candle.
I put it on before I get FUCKING BUMMED.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

I once flushed and a load of blood flushed out.

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

No, but I did once eat loads of reduced price beetroot from Safeways and almost shat myself when thought I had started
pissing blood the following morning.

Does this count? I know blue and red aren't the same colour, but I'm hoping it counts as at least "related" if not "relevant".
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:37, archived)

Did you piss red?

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

Yes.
I've since discovered some Ragu sauces do the same thing to me too.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

sorry, lost interest now

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:40, archived)

It's a good job you were on the toilet when you almost shat yourself then, eh?!

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:41, archived)

Well, like any normal person I piss into the toilet standing up, and
shit into the bath. I then use a potato masher to force the lumps down the plug hole.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

I assumed you were either a girl or a poof, as you are in Paris.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

I've not done that. Sorry.
I might do it one day and it will remind me of you, which will be nice.

I'm a Febreeze man, myself.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:39, archived)

I wonder if they'd get rid of b.o?

( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Linen Fresh by Airwick.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

I'm listening to a big black woman sing on a crackly record
she's said 'lawdy' THREE times already.

What's YOUR favourite brand of mineral water?

I like Evian and San Pellegrino but you know what? I think Volvic tastes a little soapy.
( moohalaa, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:11, archived)

I like the word "gunt" today

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:12, archived)

Gunt. G - u - n - t.
Pickle Fairy used a sponge on a stick dipped in vinegar to clean her gunt.
( moohalaa, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:13, archived)

haha, man she is fat and ugl

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)

y

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:14, archived)

You ain't got no alibi

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)

She ain't got no alib

( magnum, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)

i

( magnum, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:15, archived)

ROFLpiss.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

You Gee El Why, She Ain't Got No Alibi
Do you remember that song? I vaguely remember it. I can't really remember what year it came out in. Can you remember what year it came out in? Am I asking too many questions? I don't care because I'm enjoying my life and posting things tonight.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:16, archived)

I had a can of Dr Pepper earlier, it's nicer than Coke but now I need to wee quite urgently but I'm enjoying posting too much and I don't want to get up, I might just keep posting until I wet my pants

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:20, archived)

Oh we've all been there Gilgamesh.
I remember this one time when I got sooo far into posting things this one night that I didn't even notice all the shit slowly seeping through my jeans and into the chair. When I finally realised what had happened, you know what? It didn't even bother me and I just carried on posting things on that night and it took all my worries away. It didn't take the shit away and I had to get a new chair though but it was one of the best moments of my life and I'm trying to recreate it by posting more things tonight. I hope you'll all join me in posting things tonight.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:23, archived)

Brill.
Just brill, keep on posting/shitting.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:26, archived)

I'm slightly concerned I may become incontinent of faeces if the excitement keeps up, perhaps I could get some immodium delivered so I can sit here posting a little while longer

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:26, archived)

If you take your trousers and pants off,
and cut a hole in the chair, there's no need to ever leave your seat.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)

Well it was after that night of posting things that night
That I invested in a flask to keep my faecal matter in. In the winter it also doubles as a hand warmer. Not that I need a hand warmer if I carry on posting things tonight. The smoke is coming off my keyboard I'm posting so fast. Haha, no it isn't really I was just having a little joke because of how much fun I'm having. I need to let some of it out because I'm brimming with funness while posting things tonight.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sun 14 Jun 2009, 22:28, archived)