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What's the scariest monster?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

I am
ROAR
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

I was going to say that
Because I am
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

You're really not.
No offence like.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

There's only one way to solve this...

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

NEAR THE TOP!

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

I'm not offended
but having seen me I have to disagree with your view entirely
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

Fair enough.
Fancy a fight to the death?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

I couldn't fight you
You have red hair and look lovely
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Looks can be deceiving
*kicks you in the shin*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

I don't think you really wanted to kick me though

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Blue Star has the normal amount of scary that an average person has
But compressed all small so there's even more terrifying-ness per square inch.

Like a black hole. Or when carbon becomes a diamond.

But made of pure fear
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

This is a good science type answer
I think I understand now
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

sorry... i didn't hear that...
I was too busy staring at her tits
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

STOP STARING AT MY TITS

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

You're not scary,
you're CUTE!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

*honky-tonk piano playing stops*

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

wat

ooooooooooooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

D:
NO. SHUT UP
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

*wabbles your cheeky cheeks*
KYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

*fetches stepladder*
*climbs up stepladder*
*grabs your lapels*
*throws you across the room*
*climbs down off of stepladder*
*runs over to you*
*rests foot on your throat*

TRY THAT AGAIN...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

*gurgles*
I've got ....a....ma....massive ...Broom-On....right now....coz you're cute....*glarbles*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

*moves foot down to broom*
Say it again. I DARE you...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFF!!*
...it's getting bigger..........*honks boob*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

*STOMPS*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

I came
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

and I think you did too...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

cute *dies*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:37, archived)

*honky-tonk piano playing resumes*

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

The DG with a pillow case over his legs squishy Manatee

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

noooooooooooooooooo
D:
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

aDOOOOOON....
aDOOOOOOOOOOOON...

*shuffles on belly towards you*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

AROOOOOOOO

(

SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

aDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

I've got an image of you doing this on the "stage" at The George*
*opposite the royal courts of justice
(

SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I fucking would as well
I've got an image of you only laughing due to embarrassment as no one else is
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

me with an energy saver bulb for a penis

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Margaret Beckett.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

The one that lives
in the mirror in your bathroom who is waiting to slash your eyes when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and look into the mirror without switching the lights on.

Sleep tight children.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

you can get the council to come round and deal with those.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

Oh.
In that case it's the hand-eyed thing in Pan's Labyrinth.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

that fucker was unpleasant.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

It was a far more unpleasant film than I was expecting,
on the whole.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

me too
the costumes made it a lot more "real" than complete CGI would have been. Damn scary Spanish.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

It was the combination of the movement
and the noises.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

The future.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

It turns out it's MAN
:O
(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

AIEEEE!

(

SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I glanced and read the above as
Aimee Mann.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

Yay!

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

The BOOgey monster

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

Hitler
But Hitler made of pure night and the screams of children, and he lives in your cupboard.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Thats some bad Hitler right there.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

I could fight hitler
I reckon I'd kick the shit out of the little Austrian cunt.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

the pickled onion one, no hold on, the beef one, or maybe flaming hot
i dunno
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

A massive spider
thats got an elephants erection and a bumhole made of razors.

And it can shoot lasers out of 4 of it's eyes and piss out of the other 4. And the piss is really really smelly.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Werewolves
An American werewolf in London has scarred me for life
(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

sphinx

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

oh i'm sorry, i read that as "most cat-like monster"

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

the scariest monster is the cookie monster

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Yes!
He puts all those biscuits in his mouth, but then he just crushes them up into bits and drops them! Pure evil insanity!
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

leave him alone, he's bulimic

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mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

A weeaboo.

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mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Did someone say weeaboo...?

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

Bou

(

weaver., Wed 27 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

ym
or Predator
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

Mongy
He's a terrible terrible bully.

Worse than Hitler really.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

it's true, i use internet forum to bully people with message posts that cause offence
i'm both bitter and a coward, both judgements made buy my peers online
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

you should feel ashamed.

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

i should shouldn't i, i can no longer pretend to be your girlfriend online now either as they banned me

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

haha, really?
i didn't even realise that was you.
(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 27 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

I dont know why you are allowed to stay here
The mods must do SOMETHING!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

BAN MONGY

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

The mods are just waiting for him to slip up.

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

FROM THE ENTIRE INTERNET

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

right i'm going home, this terror will take a couple of hours break
byezzzzzzzzzz
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

Mick Hucknall
*fears*
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

A massive Tetsuo-esque blob made of chat-show hosts

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

and it's got Kilroy for a cock

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

Tarbuck's face

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

The faces of the Loose Women cast for its many teats

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

the scarosaur

(

Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

Haribo tangfastics
King of chewy confections, surely ?

For those of you dieting, why do some women really love being bummed and others think you're a weirdo for asking to and then leave you ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'm not familiar with those particular ones.
Haribo are, however, an alien conspiracy to take over the world.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

Chelsea whoppers. They sell them on that retro sweets site.
VERY nice, they are. I only bought them because of the name.

Oh, if you mean chewy like Haribo then Gummi Bears, naturally. The clear ones.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

"really love"?
I've never met a woman in this category... It's usually because I ~~can talk most people into anything~~ EDIT: have been able - in the past - to talk people into almost anything
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Yeah
I've known a couple of women who were really into it.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Percy Pigs from M&S are the king of chewy streets.
They contain real pork fat.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

more of this sort of thing.
Tesco Mint Imperials also contain pork gelatine, and are therefore king of the mint imperials. Despite the hysterical ranting of some people on internet product review sites.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

ASDA marshmallows with strawberry centers
contain both pork AND beef.

I think they win.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

oh my goodness me,
I shall have to try some just on principle now.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

I used to have a gf who loved anal.
Then one who wouldnt even give it ago.

Thats life i guess.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

probably because the first one was a post-op bloke

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

possibly.
Would explain the love of beer she had.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

The cherry ones are utter win.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

i don't know but with a goverment cash grant of around 50k i'd be happy to carry out proper intensive research of this issue both here and abroad

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

i mean the bumming birds, not research into sweets

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

I reckon there's a couple of birds on here
That'd do it gratis too
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

I reckon there's a few on here
who would let you put Haribo tangfastics up their shitholes.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

~~would let you put Haribo tangfastics up their shitholes.~~

have desperately low self esteem and would pretty much do anything for attention.
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

And let you take photos

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

and put them on an OMGB45H!!!! Flickr set

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

i've been asking to see a bit of bumhole for years
i've not so much as had a glimpse of unwashed gusset
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

You want to go to a few more bashes
Its all go
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

i've given all that up, it's all to serious around these parts now, people take too much offence

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Terrible bullying:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

the internet forum is now home to the emotionally spacktarded
last time i put my name down for something someone was going to have words, ffs
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Hmmm...
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23179/1243436583/maddybivvy.jpg
(

Three Dog Man, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

she better not sod about in that bivvy, little bitch

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Old school Cola bottles
Haribo sweets taste of chemical and fail.
(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

this
how did they become so popular?
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Advertising
and flooding the market with cheap crap
(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

see also
McDonalds
Coca Cola

it seems to be a winning formula.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Different people like different things.
I think some blokes attack anal without thinking about things like lubrication. It tends to put girls off trying it again, due to the sheer OUCH factor of an unprepared botty bashing.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

Better to start small and work your way up?

(

SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

always with the children with you isn't it
you sicken me
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Are you offering yourself out?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Tristan Taormino's guide to anal sex
very good viewing/reading for anyone seriously wanting to give it a try and not knowing anything about it.

Plus she's rather attractive.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

i can't understand why anyone would want poo on their cock
vaginas are great
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

I've never had a pooey willy
from bumming a girl. I dont know how that happens, I find constipated women arent generally in the mood for a fuck.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

i am pretty ignorant of the whole malarkey, i confess
but i still can't see the appeal
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

It's not better (IMO) than fanny sex
it's just something you do out of badness and mischief.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

i'm not going to even mention veronica moser, oh no, i did that once before and it caused real trouble, her .com website is just wrong

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Maoam wrappers dude.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

I've never quite understood the allure of sticking your winky in a bum
There's a perfectly servicable vagina just next door.

Of course this doesn't apply to those gay persons.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

Variety
it's the spice of life.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Fair enough
I mean, as a fat nerd, even getting a vagina for winky-age would be variety enough for me, at the moment.
(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

they only ever live next door to men,
there are special streets set aside for them.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

I didn't realise the positioning of vaginas was so regimented

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I've tried to put an honest answer to this...
I've come up with:

*- it's tighter
*- it's taboo
EDIT:
*- bragging rights

but I think the honest truth is that men will put their cocks almost anywhere
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

There's also the
*nudge*
"you see her ? I've had her up the shitter" factor
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

Always a proud moment for a bloke.
Especially if she is out with her hubby.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

*gallic shrug*
some wimeen, zey like ze bummeeng. Some, zey do not.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:01, archived)

I say,
ze milk, it is sour.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:02, archived)

ZE MILK, IT 'AZ GUN BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! CHARLEY MURPHAY!

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

I WISH I HAD 4 HANDS...SO I COULD GIVE THOSE TITTAYS...FOUR THUMBS DOWN!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

Oui! ah do sink zat ah em bleedin' inside of ma chest!

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

Sometimes I tuck my willy into my bum hole so when I bend over I look like a fleshy tea cup

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

~~tuck my willy into my bum hole so when I bend over I look like a fleshy tea cup~~ lie alone at night, cry into my pillow and stick pins in a photo of Cheryl Cole.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

I do too :'(

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:07, archived)

Cadburys Chocolate Eclairs
I cant help you with question 2
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

This is the bit where someone pretends to have stolen money off Captain Hood Butter
don't be shy
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

I trimmed his pubes and all I got was £100 in old notes

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

and he bummed you when you were picking them up off the ground

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

That was the only bit I enjoyed
and flossing with the left overs.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

White fivers?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I just rang a lady called Faye Kribs

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Can she give herself a blowjob?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

A++++ Post
Would lol again.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

I also know a chap called Terry Feek

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

for business?
or just for the hell of it?

"is this Faye Kribs?"
"yes"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"erm... hello?"
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

for business yes, they're involved with a company we do work for.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

I know someone called
Faye Ktits

actually I dont.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

I don't know if I know anyone personally who have fake tits.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

I know someone called Hugh Jarce
and a Norma Scuntole
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

tee hee
they have silly names.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I know a girl who has fake tits.
When she came back to work after having them done, she let us (the girls and the gay lad) have a grope and a squeeze of them. They felt fairly real, not at all hard like I'd been expecting.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

apparently they can be 'cold'

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

I didn't get my hand under the bra to have a squeeze.
Just over the top of her clothes. I'd imagine that they can feel pretty cold though, yeah.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Did she let anyone blow their muck all over them ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

Probably.
Not me though. I had to go to a meeting.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Did you lezz her senseless ? Probing her womanly intimacies with your tirelessly inquisitive tongue ?
*wanks*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Yeah. Okay.
Why not?
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

The true test of fake breasts
can they take a tipping of filthy custard?

how was that there welsh biking?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I broke my cunting forks in the car park
but still rode whites level in 1hr50. Tried to get the forx fixed over lunch but they didnt have the spares so went home.

I kicked a couple of sheep in the cunt before I left to alleviate my frustration.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

what did you do to them?
Did you break the lockout or something?
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

The cartridge inside cracked as I popped down a little 2" kerb thing.
Left me with no rebound damping and a very flaky feel to the front end. Had to nurse it round and avoid all the drops/gnarl
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

rubbish kit.
it's all too clever these days. I'll stick to my indestructable 12 year old coil-over-oil Judy SLs....
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

they go hard after a few years.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

If you were an episode of "Friends"
you'd be "The one where Ross tells a shit joke loads of times and Joey does a poo"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

So, what you're saying is, if this were 'Friends' Wormulus would be Ross?
I think thats fighting talk.
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

If this were friends
Wormulus would be Pheobe.

Think about it.

Only a Pheobe you absolutely wouldnt want to fuck under any curcumstances, or see her tits, fanny or arse.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Phoebe was definitely the sexiest, dirtiest, horniest of the friends.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

I would happily fuck her
I'd go for her and Rachael lezzing each other raw, but Monica was just too skinny to fuck.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

She was.
I also liked Susan, Carole's lesbian curly woman.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

And Marcel...

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

I had a cat called marcel
because he was like a smaller version of my cat called monkey.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

monkeyfucker.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

If this were friends
Wormulus would be ~~Pheobe~~ Janice.
(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

O...M....G....!!!!

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

or Eddie, the freaky room-mate

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

you'd be the sofa at the beginning

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

with fat monica sitting on you

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

+ blowing off, post curry

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

TJ
Can anyone recommend a website you can use to send faxes within the UK? All the ones I can find are pay-monthly. Thanks!
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Doesn't eFax do a free trial?
Edit : Yes it does - www.efax.co.uk/
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

what's wrong with just using Outlook?

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Does Outlook send to, and recieve from, phonenumber(s)?
I really have no idea.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

It has a "send internet fax" function
I assume that's what we're talking about here. So does Outlook Express IIRC.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

But "To Use Fax Service to send your fax, you must first sign up with a fax service provider."
And it redirects you to a list of providers (including eFax).

Which I guess is what Roopy was asking about.

And I was very nicely, and not in a trolling way, answering.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

Can't you send faxes from your local corner shop?
Alternatively: scan and email. Why do people both with faxes? They're shit quality.
(

SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

I'm assuming, right.
that the person he's sending it to only has a fax machine.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

www.doyounothaveafaxmachine.com
I'm confused. Isn't that how faxes are sent?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

Not any more
It's all Fax to Email this and Email to Fax that
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

thanks to everyone!
and who says talk are a bunch of trolls?

no-one thats who!
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

trolls eh? well i never

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

Hey! I actually helped :)

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

ahh man i'm running out of bivvy pictures, it's going to be me with fish soon

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

I'd like to see you with your cock up a carp.

(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Fucking knacker bastards
have just taken £100 off an elderly chap who lives across the park from me for "cutting" his hedge. they told him they would be back to finish the job 2 hours ago, but could he give them the money now to "go and get a mulcher" to tidy up the leaves. his neighbours called the police but they reckon the fuckers are long gone.

there is no question, just a very angry crowd gathering.
(

TBL I posted this on, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

Fucking scum.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

I bet the elderly chap is in on the scam.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

£100 ?
I'd do it for £50.

And by 'do it' I mean run off with a mere £50.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

This would have saved the poor old sod £50.
This is community spirit right here.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

We'll all be old(er) one day.
I do what I can.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

Fucks sake, I hate those people
It would be hilarious if they came back sweating, with a mulcher, saying something about having to search the whole city for one!
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

people are cunts

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

~~People~~ Pensioners
~~Cunts~~ fucking stupid

Who pays a gyppo £100 to cut a fucking hedge ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Well, Mykeyboy has to earn a living somehow

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

If it were Mykeyboy, he'd still be waddling around the corner after 2 hours

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

or hiding out in the nearest greasy spoon...
or all you can eat
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

WE SHOULD START SEARCHING NOW

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

my mistake... I said "all YOU can eat"!!!
he'd have finished that ages ago
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

Ahem...
They ran off.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

Ice cream truck was playing my song
Innit
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

before things get over heated let everyone have a nice long look at the bivvy in summer mode
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1217795007/bivvy.jpg
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

looks very cozy.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

till it starts pissing down

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

this is the calming influence that comes with owning an aqua m3

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

NICE!

What's the book? is it sexy?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

Awesome.

(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

that's goooood bivvy

(

ArthurTheRat, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

Did the Guinness come with it, or was it with the accessory pack?

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

that's my breakfast

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

He caught it and is having it for his tea.
Actually I could go for a nice cold Guinness but I've got to drive later :(
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

Even when I'm old I hope not to become stupid

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

Fuckrags.
Utter dripping fuckrags.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

And yet more and more Irish are allowed in every year:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

in to breed
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

I can see an ad forming like the NSPCC one...

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

aw that's really scummy
I wouldn't have given them the cash in the first place myself, but it's unfair to prey on people being trusting.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

Thats absolutely right.
If you give me a £20 donation I promise to put it towards a campaign to stop this kind of theft and trickery.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

*reaches into wallet*
Well that seems like a very good idea young FoldfiWAAAAAIIIITaminute.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Curses.

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

what lovely gentlemen, I hope they made it a nice shape like a duck

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

If you don't want to be scammed, don't live to be old
He was just asking for it really
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

i'm going to cut his lawns for 300 quid next week

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

When you've scammed him
I'll promise him I'll track you down for a hundred.
(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

Is this a good time to start a new thread?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

Change your name to Captn Hood-Butler
so I can 'ate you
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

Excellent

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

Good.
What should we do now?
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Orgy?

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Nah.
I cracked one out for Jade about ten minutes ago.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

Rather you than them

(

SuperMatt, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

How goes the new flat?
Are you missing Gonzo?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Alright, Queermo?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Up you massive hole lardboy.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Blow me

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

LOL!!! as in INFLATE!
ROFFLE!!!!!11
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

+ up
That would require a lot of explosives.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Gayer.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

Oh wind your neck in.
Oh wait, you have no neck.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

Well you probably have.
It's just obscured by the pendulous drooping chins.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

*poos on your lawn*

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

I bet you could manure an entire field.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

I WOULDN' START ONE WHEN YOU HAD STARTED ONE
because I respect and admire you and your filthy standup routine
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Are you trying to groom me?

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

~~tandup routine~~ anchez
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

that's a lie... you clearly would have started one...
because you can't stop yourself
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

return of the mack
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

I need some new trainers

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

COR!

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

HUBARE
*fives*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

BLUE!
*stares at boobs whilst emphatically shaking your hand*
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

Okay
stop now
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:28, archived)

Get some vans skate ones, they're lovely and squidgy and warm.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

They do size 2?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

They might not in adult ones
but their kiddie trainers are awesome, I'm often jealous that I can't get any in a size 6.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

I shall have to search.
I was just going to get another pair of Converse because they're sexy as hell even though they get battered and fall to bits very easily indeed.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Cons are also lovely
I just love the squishy warmness of vans.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

THIS
the comfiest trainers I've ever had.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

I'd live in mine if I could.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

I do.
I wear them every day.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

:-(
bloody office.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

i think we all need to carm down a bit, let's take a moment to enjoy the peacefull scene of a erect bivvy
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1230913373/bivvylol.jpg
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

Nice bivvying there.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

cheers, i could sense it needed showing

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

This could go on for a while.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

Not if we're all sensible and stop it before a thread rush occurs.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

Yeah, but we're not.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

doing it back
WHAT'S WITH THAT?
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

I'm lending my support to Rik's thread.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

in that you're wanting it back?

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Drip... drip on to the tombs of the soulless... On to this sweltering town Drip on to your aorta... This is something you can count on Drip as fiery cinder Drip down onto my forehead On to my aorta No one gives a damn about your end... Drip as fiery cinder So I'm sweet on you Onto the sweltering town I am transparent So I'm sweet on you I am a motherfucking ghost... (To amuse... to seduce...)
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Is that S Club?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

and you will know us by the s club 7

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

are you ever coming back to Fritzlland?
also, I recently went to the cuntshalle cafe, and the beer took 20 minutes to be delivered and was flat

WHAT'S WITH THAT?
(

morrybyte made a subtle namechange at, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

zu viele schwul kellner!

(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Starting a new thread when someone else has just started one.
What's with that?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

I've having lunch

that's right, I'm threatening you with a lunch thread
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

It's 3pm
It's in between lunch and tea. You're having Tunch. Or Lunea.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

I think Lunea sounds like a very High Tea
High Tea on the Moon.
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

3pm should be afternoon tea

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

Then why isn't 11am midmorning lunch,
rather than brunch?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

oh shit I just scrolled down

what a waste of a threat
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

that shit be wack, yo

(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

Wiggety wack?

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

whoa, that's forum banter right there
great stuff, now let's all remember the great times
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

make up shops in town
like debenhams or boots where all the girls that work there are done up like whores at christmas

the gays that work there walk around with a face fullof make up too

it looks a bit weird

WHAT'S WITH THAT?
(

SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

You can talk.
YOU'RE ORANGE!
(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

hold on, back the fucking truck up, are they too orangey even for you?

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

What are b3tans having for lunch today?
I am having pizza.

If you have already had lunch what did you have?
Otherwise what is the worst topping you could have on a pizza?
(ubiquitous writhing garlic, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

wormulus
can't imagine worse
(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

You had Seb for lunch?
Or he'd be a bad pizza topping?
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Both - I think I shared him with Gumsy

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Sexy

(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

thank you

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

*curtsies*

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

NOT VERY NEAR THE TOP !!!
On Facebook, scroll to bottom, blue text on the left hand side saying your language, change it to "English (Pirate) beta".

YARRRR, maxmimus rofflez.
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Just done it!
I like the log-out bit.
(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

...it's been there for ages Gonz

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

Shush it up big times bumhole mouth !

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

*starts crying*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

You know the Konami Code works on facebook as well.

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

look what it says when i try and log into my banned b3ta account, lulz
Your account has been suspended:
2009-05-27 mongychops sockpuppet. sadface
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

Which account was that?

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

i was deleting as i posted as i had major plans afoot for epic good times, but i over used it a bit premature, silly boy
oh well, back to the drawing board
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

My banning reason is worse :(
s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/39915/1243430993/Hermione.gif
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

hahaha, oh well, i've learn't my lesson, i won't be making any more accounts
;)
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

How could the mods BE THIS WRONG!

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

Hermione was the best sex-pest attracting Wormulus based fake account ever

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

mine still works... :D
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

OBJECTION!

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

very much this, bloody favouritism

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

Coz I don't act like a guffbeak with mine :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

i done nothing, just one little slip of the banter
:((((
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

I smell interlies

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Dude, you're like the worst pizza topping ever

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

The bits of indoor scarf get between your teeth

(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

haha

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

wormulus
He would dribble all over my cheese and kick me in the chin when I went for a nibble on a crust.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

worst topping, or having him for lunch?

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Both

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

both

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

BOTH

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

BOTH

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

boat

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

+motor

*bwub bwub bwub bwub bwub bwub bwub bwub bwub bwub*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I only learned about the verb 'to motorboat' recently.
Sheltered childhood and all that!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

My mum had a hard time breast feeding me

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

Everyone, ready....
Hmphrraphharhhrbwrarhmmph.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Donkey Gums would be a shitty pizza topping
all scaly and hairy like a herpesnis.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Yours would just be a goat's cheese covered sideparting that tastes of a dick that's been used to stir Mike Tyson's daugther

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Yours would be the pink, shiny interior of Piston's babyoil smoothed anal tract
served on a bed of gummy pubes.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

I forgot to add that yours would be balanced on a massive, sprinter's knee like chin

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

yours would be baked in the Mediteranean oven that is your concave chest
You have to puff on an inhaler after every mouthful.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

Your pizza would have to be folded in half with you inside it because you're so fucking spasticated that you could make Ray Charles vomit by looking at you
They would even crack an egg onto your head so you would be quiet for a while whilst you jabbed your spoon shaped cock into the yolk, as it felt the same as when you used to dib at your mummy's belly fold when she would hug you tight and then slam dunk you into the waste paper bin when no one was looking at the hospital because you're a disgrace to the bird kingdom.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

p.s. i love you seb

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

The Doctors were right about you
When your Mother's prehensile cunt that looks like the Predator's mouth spun a cocoon out of milmy fadgesnot it should have been throw into the incinerator.

Her perverted feelings of Motherhood were too strong and after 9 smelly months you hatched from your cheesestring prison like a crippled moth.
You upside down mouth gasping for air as you wicker lungs fucked themselves on human air.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

'Cheesestring Prison' & 'Crippled Moth' made me lol :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

disgrace to the bird kingdon
made me chuckle

Someone was asking for a link to our most epic cuss battle.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

haha
www.b3ta.com/talk/6161841

I had a proper chuckle over some of that.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

lol me too :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

Hello new person
You have correctly divined /talk's favourite subject.

I dislike chicken on pizza. It is wrong.
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Not as wrong as pineapple
pineapple pizza eaters are worse than Hitler.
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

you hush your whore mouth

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Aargh, I've found a live one !
*fetches the pitchfork*
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

hello Verity
*hugs*
(

hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

hello Verity's dad!
*hugs back*
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

i trust you are well

(

hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Yes thanks, very busy at the moment
Hope you and the family are doing well too?
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

ah man, i so wish i hadn't wasted my troll account picking on cr3 :(((

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Meh.
Meh and meh.

Anchovies.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

They are tasty little fishies
but they're better in caesar salad than on pizza.
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I used to scrape the toppings off of pizzas
and just eat the bases.
(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

I bet the crust on fish fingers was too hard for your teeth too :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

haha

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

I need help with the skin on hot chocolate

(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

cunt
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Chicken salad

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Monkey
Spunk
(1obster twunter.com/I'm bored of it too now, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Moped

(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Goat anus

(

Theoban What of it, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I has a fried egg sandwich, lovely.
This is truly horrific www.youtube.com/watch?v=XplO9jekbT8&feature=related
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Good god

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

Marmite.
Imagine it.
Go on, just imagine a Marmite pizza.

Hahahaha, i'll bet you've screwed your face up a little bit.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

You really did
Lovely pizza by the way... Sweetcorn, Bacon, Pinapple, Red Onions and Mixed Peppers.
(ubiquitous writhing garlic, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I really did what?

(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Made my face screw up.
Gah!
(ubiquitous writhing garlic, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrmite

(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

Oh my
that sounds quite nice. I think I may have to try this out.
(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

I hope youre joking.

(thediscokingpin, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

Carrying on the wrong crush thread up here:
Heston Blumenthal
Gordon Ramsay
Alain De Botton
Gavin Essler
Sebastein Chabal
Guy Garvey
Charlie Brooker
Bono*

I personally don’t find these wrong crushes but some people do.

*Apart from this one. That IS a wrong crush

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

~~Chabal~~
Winnett
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

Nothing wrong with fancing Sebastian Winnett the famous artist
he's very attractive.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

I hear he has his own wikipedia page
And everything
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

On no account should anyone vandalize it.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Wikipedia vandalism is really funny and very original.

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

Rob nawty stepped me for it once:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

I'm not surprised
It wasn't even funny when people first starting doing it.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Give me some fucking credit, Michael.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

He's a prime male!

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Parminder Nagra
Julia Stiles
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

Neither are wrong crushes,
maybe Parminder if you're a massive racist.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

I wouldn't have said that Gordon Ramsey, or Seabass were either...
but it's all about taste I guess.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

Sebastien Chabal, oh my god yes
Charlie Brooker WOULD get it, as long as he didn't do comedy wanking.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Shagging Chabal would be a fairly neolithic experience.
I'm sure he is actually a caveman.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

He's pretty much my ideal man.
That's how I like them.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

I know....
*daydreams*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

I bet you daydream about me.
(oh, and where IS that lyric from?)
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Of course I do, Gorgeous.
My sig? It's Ballroom Blitz.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

and 'hey ladies' samples it

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

*cowbells*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

Ah, yes, brilliant.
Had been bugging me.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

I bet he does jazz hands when he comes.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Jizz hands surely?

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

Hahaha

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

I bet Ramsay's pillow talk would be incredible

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

It'd be filth and food.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Isn't that the idea of good pillow talk?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

'Oh darling, you fucking remind me of a corn on the cunting cob'

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

Maximinimus - 2005 Graduate of the Hollyoaks school of pillow talk.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I didn't say it'd be bad, did I?

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

No, I was geniunely asking...

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

He can butter my crumpets any time he likes.
And by 'butter my crumpets' I mean [something about breasts and spunk].
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

I say *monocle*

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Do you reckon his wife/bit on the side regularly says "Oh Gordon, talk cleanly to me while we do it"

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

Haha yes!

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

Do you reckon afterwards he would shout:
Sex....
DONE!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

I think he would
Before cleaning himself on the curtains
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

Katey Perry
I fancy her lots. But she isn't a wrong crush. It's a right crush.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:22, archived)

until you realise she's a dead ringer for Roger Taylor in the 'I Want To Break Free' video...

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

o_O
Thanks for ruining that for me, you RUINER.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

*drum solos*

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

She's so vacant, though.
Pretty, but there's a lot of space in that head.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

I want to bounce my horrific errection off her forehead and get arrested for assault

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

Nah, too vacant looking for me. Bit lobotomised.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

She's got lovely pies

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

So does Greggs

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

Heston Blumenthal - GONZO !
Gordon Ramsay - GONZO !
Alain De Botton - GONZO !
Gavin Essler - GONZO !
Sebastein Chabal - GONZO !
Guy Garvey - GONZO !
Charlie Brooker - GONZO !
Bono*
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

TAG FAIL
=(((
(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

Tuna and kit kat sandwich

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

I haven't eaten breakfast yet
Just woke up because I've been up all night with the heat
(

Methylene Blue - electrohead, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Dorty, dorty filt.
Who do you fancy that you really shouldn't?

Apparently I have bad taste for loving Lemmy Kilmister, but now Jodie Marsh (only from behind) is graping my squildo I fear I must end myself.

Oh yeah, and Richard Madeley, but only slightly
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

Christopher Walken
rowr.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Ooooh yes, actually.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

He looks rude.
Is that Jodie Marsh pic SFW?
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Aye, she's only got knickers on but she's facing the other way. No ta-tas in view.
RIGHT, I've got a short meeting to attend. Back in a few.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

nyer
not keen. Girlies should be soft, in my opinion.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

I know, mine too.
I have NO idea what's wrong with me.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

the Unspecified Horn can choose many an odd target.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Yes.
Soft, curvy, petite, and brunette preferably.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Christopher Walken can never be wrong

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

*high fives*

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

The deer hunter
hells yes
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I don't know.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

You're so helpful.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

I genuinely don't know if I have a libido anymore
or have ever had one.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

What about that girl?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

she's in another part of the world.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

One of my lecturers.
She isn't that pretty but has the most amazing soft, Irish accent that does funny things to the bits on inside of my pants.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Lilly Allen - I want to pat her big bottom

Kelly Osbourne - I want to balance my chopper on her chin

Myleen Class - Have her not talking obviously, I think she would squeal lots during sex.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

Lily Allen I would, definitely.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

I feel all dirty and wrong for fancying Lily Allen
But I do.

Myleen Klass is hot! She plays the piano too, this means she is extra hot.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Lilly Allen looks best when wearing those dorky glasses

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

That me or the dog woman
Victoria Stillwell
(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:00, archived)

She's eeeeevil.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

I don't fancy anyone
Well I do but I have no time for lovings when theres SCIENCE™ to be done
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Leanne Salt, she's so dreamy.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Gonz, you are a proper wrong 'un.

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Liza Tarbuck

(

Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 27 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Ok.
Now what?
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

I don't know
What do you want to do?
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

It no longer matters.
I have to dash out and meet someone.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

FINE
*sulks*
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

I need a poo

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

at pauls?

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

it's the 80s grossout comedy that was never made :(

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

b3ta.com/board/9403017
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

More speculation?

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

I was just sick into my arse

(__, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

Yummy.
.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

Smell my wrist, it's nice.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

*sniffs*
Oooh so it does!

Edit: Parcel arrived then?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

Yep, I am a happy girl.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

Good stuff.
I'm bounding down to the post box every morning like an overexcited labrador puppy at the moment. Hoping that one of my Random Burn CDs will turn up.

Alas, only one so far.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

Two for me...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

Oh and i'm waiting for some very special beer to arrive.
I have managed to blag some free samples to review for my blog!

Free beer is the best kind of beer.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

Good for your hair too.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

This is true.
Although I plan on drinking it rather than washing in it!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

Is it monkey beer?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

I'm not sure what monkey beer is.
It is some samples for the lovely Meantime brewery in Greenwich.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

Proper ale, superb
I'm a fan of proper ales, Mansfield smooth *dribbles*
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Yes, yes, yes.
I'm not really a fan of lager, hugely into my real ale though.

I'm pretty well served for decent breweries down here too. There are a good 6 or 7 of note within a 30 mile radius.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

What the... Chocolate Beer, Raspberry beer
Their range intrigues me!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

Yep, I have some of the raspberry beer coming.
Their IPA is nothing short of spectacular as well. I'm not sure if it is a national thing, but down here they are stocked in Sainsbury's.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

what have you been fisting?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:35, archived)

Box of Lush stuff,
ym
you
and strangely

Jodie Marsh from behind. She looks quite nice in this picture.

i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/05/26/article-1188329-05186D77000005DC-876_468x596.jpg

I can only assume I'm feeling a little odd today.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

Urrrgh.
My boy bits recoiled in horror when that picture filled my screen.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

I know, it's not like me at all.
I think her hair looks nice and it's confusing me.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

No, no thanks.
Wouldn't touch her with yours.

I'm generally not a fan of tattoos on the wimmins.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:41, archived)

Luckily I am.
Otherwise I'd never look in the mirror.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

It looks good on some people.
I can really appreciate proper skin art rather than chavvy dolphins and butterfiles.

Each to their own.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Nae bother
if I was worried about what people thought of me I'd have carked it years ago.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

Best way to be.
I generally don't give a monkeys about what others think. There is the odd chink in my armour though.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I think it's because her face looks quite nice from behind.

(

G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

you could probably get your head in jodie marsh

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

She'd make quite a good walking handbag, as long as you lined her.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

All the crusted on jizz has created a plush, velvety lining

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

*Vomits everywhere*

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

^This

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

I know, I know.
I'm annoyed at myself.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Her back is like a relief map of a mountain range.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

I'm all broken.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

Bobbins
and gubbins.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

happy candlebum

(

Lisette von Falcon, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

MORE HOT POCKETS

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

they tried to make me captain ahab
i said no no no,
just a bit part, quite near the start and i can go go go,
i aint got the time, for learning hundreds and thousands of lines,
they tried to make me captain ahab, i said no no no
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Have you changed your name, ditched the fishing and taken up cars
put on a few stone and started presenting Wheeler Dealers on Discovery Realtime channel?

www.discoverychannel.co.uk/web/wheeler-dealers/mike-brewers-blog/
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

i don't think so but that link wont work for me anyhoo

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Won't it?
Oh dear. Well man who looks like a short fat version of you is on telly.

It amuses me to imagine that any moment he'll stop wittering about second hand cars and start waxing lyrical about bivvies.
(

in vino veritas, Wed 27 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

Speculate.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

I "like" the "new" "marilyn manson" "album"
It is "alright"
(

executiverocker only wears C&A, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

To accumulate

(

mr_wicksy is.... old., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Blast!
Beat me to it
(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

Accumulate

(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

If I do
What might happen?
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

It's possible.
Maybe crows will form the next government.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

They can't do much worse.
Vote crow!
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

All MPs are wankers

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:01, archived)

what's the televisionest weather you've ever had for lunch?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Tidal waves

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Anne Robinson fell on my bagel.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

Gale Porter
as you can see this is brilliant as it works on so many levels, thanks
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

it's a good one

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

that's possibly the only answer that works with that question
you should go on QI or something

and punch that smug Fry twat right in his fat face. With a fucking brick.
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

but be sure to wrap the brick in a towel first
we don't want to damage the brick.
(

TBL I posted this on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

Roll call

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Carl Fog-ar-Tea.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

The picture on mine was snowy

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Anneka R-Ice.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

Windy Millers loaf

(

broadsword, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

Mincey Willis

(

The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

I think that when I go to the cash machine on the way home
there should be some money in my account.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

That's some top quality speculation
Do you have sketchy evidence to back up your claim?
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

I think I have £10 left before payday tomorrow,
however it may not be.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Do you know the answer to
the integral from 0 to infinity of x^1/2 / e(x) - 1 in terms of pi?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

not off the top of my head.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

I could work that out if I had a pen handy,
I don't
(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

I could work it out if I was really bothered.
but it's easier to ask someone else in the know.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

yes
y^ou = d(ull) c^unt
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

Clickin dis.

(

The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Internet message board user in "easily pleased" shocker.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Master of Turnips in wah wah I got totally zinged wah wah moment.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

double zing :(

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

FOR THE TREBLE

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??????????????N:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~D:~~~~~~~+MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMD???
??????????????NMM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~M~~~~~~~~~~~~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMI
?????????????MMM+D:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:=M+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMO???$OMMMMM+~O=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DNNN=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM7~~:N?:~~~~~~~~~~DN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM~~~~~~:+DNNNNN8:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~8MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMD~:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:=MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

marvelous hatrick!

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Your sums are wrong.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

yeah well, yours are FUCKING DULL

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

∫ T ds

lol rofl
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:08, archived)

Thermloldynamics

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

MOUNTAIN BIKING IN THE MORNING, CLIMBING IN THE EVENING, THEN DRINKING
THEN WAKING UP, THEN TRAVELLING TO LONDON, THEN DRINKING WITH GEEKS

THIS IS GOING TO BE A WEIRD BIRTHDAY WEEKEND
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

sounds like powerful stuff.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

*bums*

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

*runs along platform*
promise you'll write me everyday you're away

*knocks over electricity pylon*
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

It's going to rain on Saturday, possibly.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:03, archived)

uk.weather.com/weather/dailyDetails-London-UKXX0085?dayNum=3
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

Oooh, maybe not then.
Something else will ruin it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

Probably me
I ruin stuff :D
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

London isn't the only place with weather.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

London is the only place to be this saturday though

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

I DEFY YOU

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

You wouldn't be the first
Or even the last ;)
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:14, archived)

However we were both kind of thinking more about London
as that's where the meet is on Saturday.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

Hankster watched so much TV that he got absorbed by it and is now up to all sorts of crazy adventures in telly land.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:07, archived)

That reminds me of,
what was he called, Electroboy or something, out of the old Spiderman cartoons. He would travel along the mains power lines and came out of electrical equipment, especially televisions.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

It might be Electro you're thinking of.

(

WHARRGARBL, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

Enigmatic is having sex and knows David Bowie,
that's David Bowie people.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:11, archived)

Fenris is fisting a dwarf with his tiny hands

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

i wonder how much money Gizmo is earning now?

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

they should make a tv show about that, with a fit bird in it

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

speculate on THIS
j.photos.cx/udguq-606.gif
(

Lightguy hail satan, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

that's pretty nifty
EDIT: i can foresee a hundred "FAKE" responses on youtube.
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

Cool video, but still waiting for one of them to fall over.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

One of the best ending sentences of an article
news.BBC.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8069993.stm
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:18, archived)

haha wtf
let's all do this, for SCIENCE
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

BRILLIANT WORK DAMON

(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

probably an imprint of the poor unfortunate's face

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Speculum

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:20, archived)

Oh Bluey
*shakes head*
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

WHAT

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

Newcastle will continue to struggle
Coventry, and Nottingham Forest will fight relegation and evetually lose.
Leicester will turn some heads but finish just short of a playoff place.
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:22, archived)

I'd like to think you are wrong on the first count...
I stopped reading after this
(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

I'd also put money on Leeds getting promoted next season

(likeajackhammer, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:26, archived)

Where is the money going to come from for Leeds?
I don't see them stealing an automatic spot ahead of MK dons, Millwall, Norwich or Charlton and if it's the playoffs they'll choke as per ususal.

Money down the drain
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Coventry will get promoted.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

They've struggled in the last few seasons.
I don't see them breaking the top half of the table.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

It's merely an inconsistency matter which will be ironed out in time for next seasons glory.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

~~ate~~ um
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

It's very windy here in Birmingham today. I don't like the wind, worst of all the weather.
It messes your hair up, blows your hat off and makes rain cold.

What weather don't you like?
(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Cold rain
And fog.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

i love fog
it makes my world into a melty little bubble of whiteness and mystery

i think i love all weather, in varying degrees
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Hot weather.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

Very hot with no breeze
It is also very windy down here. The office brolly has been killed.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

I don't like Druid

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Did you see today's weather forecast?
Generally sunny with scattered Druids moving in from the north.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

I would say that I'll lock myself indoors in preparation,
but that's no different to my day to day activities.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:20, archived)

I like you.
Not as much as I like muffins though.
(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Oh I do like muffins,
so that's entirely understandable.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Muffins with marmite and egg.
Or with bacon and egg, om nom nom.
(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

Muffins should be sweet
Like blueberry or chocolate.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Not where I'm from.
Muffins are either English Muffins or wonderful floury, soft, oven-bottom bready puddles of delight.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

I thought english muffins where the bready ones

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

Yes, but they are made from a different recipe, they are cooked differently and have a different texture than proper lancashire muffins.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

Tesco cheese muffins are nice toasted.
With butter.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

Are you looking forward to Saturday?

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Very much.
I made a start with mojitos yesterday straight after essay hand in. Do you want me to bring you anything from the shop? I've got you some cherry jam.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:58, archived)

CHERRY JAMS MANY MANY CHERRY JAMS.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:02, archived)

Cherry jams it is then.
Sorry to hear about Gelly.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 27 May 2009, 13:05, archived)

American muffins are sweet.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

blah blah blah blah food blah blah food blah blah blah Zzzzzzz

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

Ice cream is cool.

(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

Joan of Arc was hot.

(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

stay in
I hear there are likely to be widespread Goths and Saxons towards the evening
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Hmm, cold, I suppose.
I'm not really bothered.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

i don't like bad weather
however i do like good weather
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

WHAT!?

(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

It was too hot in Guildford this weekend.
I was doing a bit of Civil war re-enactment ( geek I know) and nearly cooked in my morrion.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Cold rain
but I like thunderstorms. And fog.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

Extreme sunshine.
When it's too hot to do anything except moan about how hot it is.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

you moan when you're cold, too

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I'M NEVER HAPPY

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

not even when it hails geese?

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

Halleluja

(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

Ice
my car is so light and the roads by me are never gritted - I've spun out a few times; this year nearly into oncoming traffic
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Solution: During the winter months, eat shit loads of pies, thus increasing your weight and by proxy the total weight of the vehicle.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

a plan that cannot fail!

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

I don't go outside,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Raining
It's just been raining all morning here in the rural shires
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Most weather.
I like it mild with a light occasional breeze.
If the time is right then I like heavy rain. A nice refreshing walk in the rain. But not on your way to work or anything.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

lego is shit

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Hot and sunny weather.
Hot weather makes it impossible to concentrate and coincides with my hayfever. Autumn and Spring are the best seasons by far.

Also, have you seen the .gif of you on the popular page?
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

Take some tablets and man up. I like hot weather during the day, but I'm not
keen on it when you're trying to sleep of a night.
(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

It's easy to get warm in cold weather, but not so easy to cool down in hot weather.
Hot weather is shit.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

the only thing wrong with hot weather is the "hot pillow"
where you end up rotating your pillow every ten minutes, as if somehow the otherside will be permenantly cooler. It's like resting your head on a kebab
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

I tried that. It failed.
I am still wheezy and sniffly and rubbish at being outdoors.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

bum gravy

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

when it's really cold, and you get the fine fast rain that almost stings as it hits your face.
most irritating.
(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

Druid I hate to say this
but you have very little hair to mess up, so stop being a poncy girl and man the fuck up. It's just fucking weather.

I on the other hand have just had my hair done, and it fucking rained and was windy and my hair is RUINED.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

i find it a bit annoying when it's windy out
because mine blows all over the place. it's ok if i'm walking into the wind
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

I have that problem unless I have it tied back and girlified into staying in the same place.
Use a bit of gel or spray. That will stop it.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

It always rains on a day I have the hairdresser
Everytime, even if it was nice the few days before.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

I was thinking about 10 years ago when I still had long hair.
I'm just being considerate towards the longer haired people here.
(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:36, archived)

we don't want your consideration, baldy

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:39, archived)

You see, I never mentioned the fact that he's losing his hair
just hinted at the fact that his hair was rather short.

MEANIEPANTS.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

i wasn't calling attention to it either.
just referring to someone with short hair as bald, as i do from time to time.

however, now YOU have made everyone aware of his, frankly sickening, hair loss.

FOR SHAME!
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

Molten lead

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:29, archived)

that's not weather you fat idiot
you're not taking this thread seriously, you should delete that post and type out a proper answer AND an apology
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

I forgot how serious a business this internet can be:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:45, archived)

relax, I was just trying to stir up some controversy to rescue what has so far been a stultifyingly dull and painfully uninteresting series of posts

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

i think sexface needs to diddle someones missus or somebody needs to flounce
i was going to create a master troll account but my account got suspended for calling cr3 the worst mod ever
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

MONGYCHOPS FOR MOD

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

people would cry their little hearts out

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:09, archived)

hail hitler
chortle
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

I love the wind.
It is windy here today, but that is good as i'm going powerkiting this afternoon.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

When the policeman is trying to decide weather to arrest me or bum me :(

(

broadsword, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

if it's your lucky day, you might get both
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

arse
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:49, archived)

How about both?
*flashes handcuffs*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

*comes quietly*

(

broadsword, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

a good bashing with his truncheon?

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:43, archived)

I hate driving in snow and ice, but quite enjoy walking in it.
Other than that, I dislike being cold and wet, so most of the year is unpleasant for me really. I should have been born further south.
(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:44, archived)

I like driving in snow, you can do great handbrake turns.

(

Druid, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

I've always been worried about damaging my car and being unable to work

(

The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:59, archived)

Driving in snow is awesome
It's the ice that sucks. That's true of walking too though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:53, archived)

is the wind separating your eyebrow

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:50, archived)

I don't like too much heat
or if it's very windy
(

M o D, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

Did one of you people just text me about the Hay festival?
I just got a text from your country, and I don't recognise the number.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

I don't have your number
or do I????

no I don't
(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

GOT YOUR NUMBER.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

No you haven't

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

how?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

118.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

That's right.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Wasn't me, anyway.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

*crosses off list of suspects*

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Mwuhahaha.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Not me, I don't have your number and I didn't go.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

This is a terribly unsubtle attempt to get my number, here.
Poor quality pandering.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Not really, I'd not know what to do with it if I did have it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

Whats that? Sort sort of gathering of Fonz fans?

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

Sure.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

sit on it

/edit: also! have you seen the 2000AD lbp stuff?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

Funnily enough in the cold light of day any individual who claims that the toilet at Als place is his office
suddenly doesn't seem quite so cool.

/edit: also! No?!
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

Wears tight leather, uses lots of hair care products, works in a public toilet.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

says "AAAAAAAAAY" a lot
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

check it!
www.mediamolecule.com/
4 characters announced so far, 1 to come. any predictions?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

surely this is a perfect opportunity for Peter Andre to develop his post-relationship brand
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

Judge Death is a cert.

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

3 judges though?
thought they'd go for another comic
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

If I had your number I wouldn't be texting you about a Hay festival.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

A festival about hay
Sounds very Rock and Roll
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

You can't bet a good roll in the hay.
It rocks.

Or something.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

A good effort to make something out of nothing.
B+ for not giving in.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

I'm all about the sticktoitiveness.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

It was probably texted to you by mistake
their hooves make it very difficult to press the right keys
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

"Are you a horse? Want to speak to similiarly like-minded horses?
Text Horsechat 0898 505050. Two clops for no, three for yes."
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

If the faces on those late night ads are to be believed
this is already being advertised.

Shoddy, shoddy bitches.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

I wouldn't pay £1.50 per text message to chat to "local women"
When I could just as easily go to the local and get ignored :)
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

"Call Mr Ed's XXXX trot-line
he's ready to talk to YOU now"
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:08, archived)

wow, way to start a pointless thread there

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:04, archived)

I was asking a legitimate question, you fruit fancying batty boy.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

no need to get defensive there, I was being sarcastic

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

No need to get explanatory there, I was being ironic.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

no need to apologise, water under the bridge, I've moved on, I'm seeing someone else now

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:15, archived)

Please don't fight, mammy and daddy:(

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

Get back under the stairs.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

Also,this is clearly an attention seeking thread about your candle.
I thought better of you, Dr.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

What candle?
Oh that candle.

ATTENTION PLEASE EVERYBODY
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

*panders*

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

If I said you had a beautiful candle
would you give us a quick reacharound?
(

broadsword, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

A friend of mine used the "If I said you had a beautiful body..." line on a girl a few year back.
Her reply was "of course not, I'd be flattered."

Guess the hair colour, folks.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

Haha
Also, woo candle.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:13, archived)

Ginger?

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

Trick question
She was bald
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:16, archived)

white
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:19, archived)

wow, congratulations on signing up to a forum that already had thousands of members signed up to it
how will you celebrate the fact you were able to input a user name and email address into the required fields?
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:14, archived)

there's even less concious effort involved in being born

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

I consider each birthday a celebration of survival against the odds :)

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:18, archived)

YOU RUIN EVERYTHING

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:17, archived)

so yeah, totally starting a thread for no good reason here
what's your favourite type of bat?

I like fruit bats. The pipistrelle is not without merit.
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:49, archived)

The cricket bat is rather good.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

Another evil English invention developed to further opress the culture of our Irish cousins:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Nonsense.
It's generally used by your ex colonies to oppress you.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Cricket is the sporting version of opera

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

Because the english team consists entirely of fat birds?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

opera is the cricketing version of mime
(

vladimir, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

I can assure you the hurley is just as an effective weapon
as the cricket bat. although My preference does drift toward the old baseball bat.
(

TBL I posted this on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

It's amazing how many sports shops in the north sell baseball bats, but no gloves or balls.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

and air rifes and co2 pistols with no gun cases
and balaclavas and gloves when its summer time.
(

TBL I posted this on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

A chill wind can spring up all of a sudden.
You need to be prepared.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

it would be terrible if you had a little... bad weather, if you know what i mean

(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:06, archived)

I think the lads in Coleraine may need a grant to help them with that.
It took forty of them to kill a middle aged man an beat up his pregnant neighbour the other night.
Highly inefficient.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

were they leprechauns?

(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Hello guvnar.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

hello you greasy bumlord
I'm OFF DOWN THE PRECINCT in a bit
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Classy.

(

TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

'leth.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

I see what you did there

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

I thought you might.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

Are you trying to say that I'm some sort of a trekkie?
Because that would be super :D
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

*high split fours*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

I favour the pipistrelle because they're common and tiny.

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

Like Blue Star.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Pffft

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Badum-tisch.
I was expecting such a response from Tara herself, oddly enough.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

Oh well, when she finally gets round to it we'll all pretend to LOL anyway.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

She must be on her lunch.
There's no way she wouldn't bite at this or the bat thread above.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

*sigh*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:09, archived)

I like whatever bats live around my parent's house.
They're cool. And it's funny watching the dog go insane at things invading his airspace.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

You have a flying dog?
Cool.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

He thinks he can.
He also thinks he can do synchronised swimming.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

My first dog used to do that all the time, just rolling about on his back growling happily to himself.
Whats that all about, eh?
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

i do that sometimes

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

I've heard you.
I think it's distemper.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

I dunno.
He particularly likes doing it after his bath, though. He does face dives into the grass.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

I like Bat 21
a vietnam film with Danny Glover and Gene Hackman.
(

Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Rounders

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

man

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

Cricket

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:54, archived)

fink

(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

ty boy

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

No, wait...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

TOO LATE
now everyone knows
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:59, archived)

i went to a fruit bat rescue center once, it was all right i suppose

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Anything happen to your neck?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

He has to do something now Carter USM have split up, I guess.

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

fruit bat
all big and foxy, very cool.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:57, archived)

i am also big and foxy

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

how about fruity?

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

I have no idea what they are called,
but the bats that chirp outside my house at night when they are hunting sound super cute.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:58, archived)

Fanny Bat
ter
(

broadsword, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:00, archived)

I like vampire bats
HAI
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:02, archived)

THEY'RE LIKE YOU LOL

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:03, archived)

What the fuck is that woman dressed as in the link at the bottom?
even with safe search on!
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 12:05, archived)

Fucking hell
NSFW

Haha, 'Nonsai'. Paedo karate teachers.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:07, archived)

Hmm... just upgraded this Vista thing with SP2
and its working fine. No real difference that I can see yet, but no *OMG VISTA SUXS LOL MY CUMPUTER BORKED USE LINUX LOL* type happenings.

well internet geeks (and non geeks) have you updated yet?

and if you don't give a flying fart what's for lunch I'm hungry.

geek thread *check* question *check* food mentioned *check*
(

TBL I posted this on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:43, archived)

I'm a secret geek on the inside. it's cool.
no one knows
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

And I'm going to Soho Thai for sit down lunch. Red Curry, Satay, the whole shabang

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

i'm going to walk past pretending i'm going down some stairs throughout your entire meal

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

I bloody hope so :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

I'm hoping we can upgrade the country next week.
/poLOLitics
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

up here the door step peoples are met with
"I'm not voting for you lot you double jobbing expenses ripping freeloading cunts"

or something like that. So far, only the SDLP have bothered to call. the shinners put up posters (most of which have now fallen/been taken down) the unionists don't bother around here even though there is a larger than they would think unionist voting pool and the rest of them don't seem to bother too much anyway.
(

TBL I posted this on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:52, archived)

The SDLP have a better ground team than the Shinners?
Times have changed.
I once canvassed Gerry Adams's wife on behalf of the SDLP.
I don't think it worked.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

I'd say more dedicated maybe...
poor woman out on her own trying to put her party's message across. ashully... to be honest she could sway voters, as my neighbour said (and I quote) "at least she came out, unlike those other lazy bastards - sdlp gets my vote this time then"
(

TBL I posted this on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:56, archived)

~~nva~~ re
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:10, archived)

I'm planning on upgrading my Vesta chow mein with soy sauce.
Dried processed beef! Packets of noodles to fry that go into the cupboard to be discovered years later! DELICIOUS.
(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:45, archived)

I'm still running XP pro on SP2

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:46, archived)

I disabled a lot of shite add ons for firefox, that seems to have fixed it.
In other news, I just received a threatening letter from the library. I better bring my books back today, I suppose.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

Or send them a really threatening letter.
Cut the words out of newspapers, wrap it round a brick and throw it through their windows.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

I MIGHT.
They were supposed to go back the 16th March. Then they closed the library for a month. NOT MY FAULT. They actually prosecute you over here for this sort of thing.
(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:50, archived)

That's how they got the Birmingham 6.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

Fucking bastards.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

They're certainly well equipped if they decide to throw the book at you.

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

GROAN!
heehee
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

Oh, Dave.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:01, archived)

sammmmmmmmmyymacwiggggggggggles nyom nyom nyom

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

*daydreams*
*drinks tea*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:48, archived)

lolinux
*motorbikes*
(

spacefish bong!, Wed 27 May 2009, 12:12, archived)

'ning
OH NELLY YOU FUCKING SLUT!

What's happening then?
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

The woman at the fronts face is ace.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

*something about his junk in her trunk*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

*something about jumbo*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

*something about off she went with a clumpity clump, clump, clump, clump*

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Stuff.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

welcome to 6 months ago in my work inbox

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

The elephants are getting it on.
What does it look like to you?
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

OMFG

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

HAPPY COCK TUESDAY
~~COCK TUES~~ B3TA
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

candle happyday

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

There's a massive elephant ice cream just out of shot
and elephant on the left is very excited and hungry.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

happy candleday
irishman
(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

worst. superhero. ever.

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

That's two years of my wisdom you people have had the benefit of.
Lucky sods.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

I'm personally better off for it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:32, archived)


         (
         )\
         {_}
        .-;-.
       |'-=-'|
       |happy|
       |b3ta |
       | day |
       |Dr. P|
       '.___.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

Nice.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

CANDLE
*points*
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

I NO

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Lá féile candle, a chara.

(

Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Go raibh maith agat.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

GO RABBI MATH'S AGHAST!
Irish people are silly :)
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:42, archived)

IMIGH LEAT, GASSÚN.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:44, archived)

Anniversary of something blah.

(

FoldsFive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:38, archived)

Response

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:39, archived)

o_O

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

I like the lady's face.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

Is she he one with the voice of an angel on that karaoke show?

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Kenneth Williams lols

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Not much happening.
Did you know that elephants have prehensile penises. They can move them around like an extra limb!

I want to be able to do that.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

You mean... you can't?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

And there was me thing that was only me.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

What man would turn that skill down eh?
Certainly be a unique one to have.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

It would only be unique if you stopped the elephants doing it.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

blimey

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

omg

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

Which is the best donation icon?
except for the cock Tuesday one obviously
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

Pirate hat
I can't get it though :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

The cock is clearly better
as is this
www.b3ta.com/board/8884267 obviously
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Pirate hat.
Yar.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

QUAAAAAAAAAACK!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

You're older than me, though.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Therefore I know bestQUAAAAAAAACK!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

and you have to mash up my dinner for me.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

Duck.
next.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

I like the octopus

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

you fucking would
QUAAAAAAAAAAACK!
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

tooth

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

easy for you to say
*chomps*
also, i asked you a question. don't be rude!
www.b3ta.com/talk/6176935
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

sorry!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

was your tit concussed
or were you concussed by a tit?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:53, archived)

the little paw one.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I don't donate anymore so I'm stuck with what I've got.
I've got about 20 of them
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Pance!
Obv.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

^this

(

broadsword, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

You don't see many snails around these days.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

Doesn't MGT have one?

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

The only one I can think of is comma.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

Oh Dear
Whatever happened to her?
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

I quite like the Hitler.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

i like my penguin and will never change it

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

awww go on

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

never, it is fluffy like me

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

I want one
but dont know what the current choices are.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

KKK hood.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

It's a ghost

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

that a ghost
also, i just accidentally clicked i like this on your post
i don't like it that much though, if i'm honest
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

Invader

(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

TOOTH TOOTH TOOTH TOOTH TOOTH

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

*tooth fives*
sounds painful
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

Swings and roundabouts mate
I'm happy with mine. Wouldn't mind a sheep or an octopus. The racoon was mostly for hats.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

I just booked bus tickets from Primrose Valley to FLAMINGOLAND! GET IN!
£39 for 5 of us though :(
At least it's door to door with no fucking about on public transport and will let us spend the whole day there. The trip would take 2 hours on public transport with a 20 minute walk too. Not handy with 3 kids.

What have you paid a bit much for all for the sake of convenience lately?
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

Sorry GMOS.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:03, archived)

it's a forum
it's for messages, no need to apologise.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Still, there's nothing worse sometimes.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

ebbs and flows

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

these and those

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

hookers

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:04, archived)

I don't see how it's convenient to disappoint another woman and pay for the privilege.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

I'm well good at sex me,

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

yeah yeah I agree

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

obviously the truth

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

You constantly get rounds of applause after

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I could really do with some other accounts

(PsychoChomp, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

I can help.

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

i can't, a little bit of forum banter and my account gets suspended, no offence was ment, sad times

(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

I was naughty stepped for pushing porn down the board whilst the mods wanked themselves off
/ac
(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

no bloody sense of humour
i was going to use that account for epic lulz
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

Rugby players are so expensive these days.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Always with the rugby players and their thighs
:)
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Mmm.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

I have unsightly thighs
But they are rather powerful, or so I'm told at the gymnasium
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

Is it a robot voice on the machine?
YOUR THIGHS ARE.....POWERFUL
(

Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

Haha

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Pretty much that.
I played rugby for years so I've got big strong legs. Grar.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

Indeed, rugby has made it impossible to find jeans that fit.
Playing front row forever had given me thunderthighs.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

I used to have a problem with my shoulders and non-stretch shirts (so unfeminine)
but now I'm all gimped up and unfit I'm alright, I'm a girl again.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

Yep, I still struggle to find shirts that fit.
If the chest and collar fit, the arms and body are too long.

Don't even get started on trying to find an off the peg suit that fits.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

The manwife's got a similar problem
he's got a 17 inch neck and a 30 inch waist. Slim but a minotaur from the shoulders up, basically.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I'm not that bad!
16" neck, 40" chest and 32" waist. The real problem comes withthe leg measurement. I have tiny short legs, I spent so long looking for suits and shirts to fit that the last time I was in Thailand I splashed out and had a couple of suits made.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

I think he's a 42 inch chest. Eitgher 42 or something silly like 43.
It's an arse buying him shirts.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I can imagine, even more awkward than me!
If you ever do go out to South East Asia, get some shirts and suits made up, It is well worth the money. I paid about £250 for three handmade wool suits and 4 plain white cotton business shirts.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

All you thin people
With your small waistlines *huffs*

Even when I was really thin I had a bigger waistline than that :(
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

blackjack

(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

MECHA HYPER PONGO PUNCHIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!


                     o                                       AIEEEEE!!!
                                                             /
      o                          o                         | 
|         o             o                      o           |
|

                                 o

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

Hello all.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Hello.

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

Ha

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

llo

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

Would you like anything squeezed?

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

blimey, Haven't been asked that by a girl in a few weeks...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Come on then. Get your oranges out.

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

Good morning.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

*blows raspberry on your forehead*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

In my culture, that means we're married now.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

In my culture it just means that I get to cup your buttocks for 4 minutes.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

You lucky boy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

I know
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

I'll bet
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Morning sexy ;) x

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

you were AMAZING last night x

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

I know, 12 seconds. A personal best. x
*flexes*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Grats

(

WormuIus, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

that's a flamboyant spelling of pong there
hello DG. how was your trip?
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

It was mental
I got a tit concussion.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:36, archived)

aieeeee!
hello DG.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Hello spinny bee :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:55, archived)

The Flamingo is a gay club in Blackpool.
I am now imagining a land of gays.

Its very stylish but a bit camp.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

+ while wanking.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:06, archived)

Nah, did that about ten mins ago over a Jo video.

(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

Jo?

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

Jo Erasure
(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

brand

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

Here
www.eurobabeindex.com/sbandoindex/monika.html
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

nsfw obviously.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

Bugger that
They should be working.
(

Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

not how it works
it's only 4 letters
just label it in future
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

Returning a hire-car to a different London branch than where I picked it up.
Mainly because I couldn't be arsed to drive all the way around to Kennington in rush-hour.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:05, archived)

my mate drives like a fucking maniac when he's in London but is fine everywhere else
as soon as we came off the M4 and into Hammersmith he just flipped. He says it's "London Driving Mode" and something you have to get used to.
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Yeah, I don't drive in London if I can help it.
I let the missus do that, and I navigate. That way we're both happy - I know we'll actually get where we're going, she gets to drive, and I don't stress about the other cocks on the road.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

You do need to drive more aggressively in London
it's safer, bizarrely.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

a McDonalds hot chocolate this morning
just because I was cold. But £1.19 is a bit steep
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:07, archived)

We sell this microwavable hot chocolate at work, it has a little pack of marshmallows in it.
£2-odds.

Rip-off.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:08, archived)

Do any mathematically minded b3tans know the answer to
the integral between 0 and infinity for x^(1/2) / e(x) - 1

in terms of pi?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:09, archived)

42

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:10, archived)

No

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

gaz Edmund

(

thealternativefact, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

3

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

and no.
I'm being deadly serious here. I don't need your comedy answers.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

I'm sorry
I didn't see the above posts.
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

(it's ok really, I was expecting comedy answers)
I'm not sure how important it is. I've done like a gillion other stages in the derivation, I might just right the answer I know to be correct (this is the last step)
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

well you certainly came to the right place then

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

e^i^Pi

(not true but my answer to all integrals)
(

the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

Shit, I've forgotton e^ipi. I'm slipping.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:13, archived)

EE HAT IPPI

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:14, archived)

eeee to the eye pie. Or -1 as it's better known.

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

no, but I've spluffed on a lady's bewbs if that's any help

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

not really going to help him do his homework is it
i wonder what level of tedium we will get from next years students, i hope one is doing something relevant to a comedy website
(

mongychops, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

comedy website?
I thought this was multi-user MSN Messenger
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I should do...
but I'm realising that I've forgotten most of what I learned at uni.

I'll take a guess at pi/sqrt(2) though.
(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:12, archived)

SQUART

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

SQUARTOO
SQUARTOO EE HAT IPPI IPPI IPPI HAT HAT
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

SQUARTOO
you forgot the 2
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

PIE SQUARTOO

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

PEESLASH SQUARTOO

(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

*SQUARTS IN YOUR EYE*

(

The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 27 May 2009, 11:17, archived)

£40 for 5 people isn't bad at all
having just googled it, it looks great
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:11, archived)

It's not bad. Obviously public transport would be cheaper but what a palaver to get there.
Primrose valley to flamingoland is only 30 miles.

It's going to be AWESOME.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:15, archived)

£39 for 5 people seems rather reasonable to me
I'll be spending £74 on the convenience of gas and electricity this week.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:16, archived)

Well, Tegan is only 13 month so technically I didn't pay for her and it's only 4 people.
But it's still 5 as she sits on our knee.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

do you REALLY need them though?
i mean REALLY
(

manolith hooray for me, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Nada.

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:18, archived)

a s

lol.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 27 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

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