Tellys....I'm looking to buy a new telly, idealy I'ld like the following specs
- 37 inch
- 1080p (1920x1080 resolution)
- Around the £400 marker.
I've found this that I like, but I don't recognise the brand.
Can anyone point to anything that might suit me?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:11,
archived)
*Clicks on the little TNT icon then on your head*10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1....OH NOE !!!! *pop*
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:21,
archived)
How big was your telly?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:17,
archived)
32"Part of me wishes I had a bigger one now, but it does the job nicely.
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SuperMatt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:17,
archived)
Cool, I'll go for one step bigger.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:18,
archived)
I don't see why you should be buying it thoughIrish watches most of the TV in that flat.
(
SuperMatt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:20,
archived)
'cus it's my flat, and if he ever fucks off, I'll just have to buy a new one then.Plus I do get some use out of it.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:22,
archived)
haha, spellings, well done there.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:17,
archived)
*gives internet validation from someone who people actually like*(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:19,
archived)
OoooOOoooo, I forgot all about that.Gaz us your address =)
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:20,
archived)
Use your phone to download the manual first to have a look(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:15,
archived)
You won't recognise itas it's effectively an ebuyer own brand. It'll be chinese shit dressed up with a fake "German" name to sound better.
i wouldn't personally touch it with yours and sexface pushing.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:17,
archived)
Hmmmm...... yeah', I was thinking that, but I can always give it back if I don't like it.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:19,
archived)
won't help you when it gives up the ghost 6 months down the line though.plus, I'm not sure where you'd stand on returning something on the basis of a fault that is a matter of opinion (the picture seems rubbish to me etc)
quick google tells me it's got a rubbish viewable angle mind you, only 85 degrees, dunno if that is an issue for you?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:25,
archived)
That's not to much of a problem, because of the layout of my flat.I'll think about it a tad more.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:33,
archived)
surely that's 85 degrees to each side,and it can only go up to 90. Manufacturers specifications for these things are generally pretty meaningless anyway.
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:38,
archived)
apprarently for this oneno, it's 85 degrees out of 180, not 90.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:59,
archived)
I would go for a smaller one with that budget,it's better to get a decent 32 inch than a shitty 37 inch.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)
my lg 32-7000 is the mutts nutsAnd only cost something like £350 in the sales
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Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:28,
archived)
Your face is shittyHERRO INTERNETPERSON
I have to go to the gym now.
I'm glad you didn't die in a fatal wanking accident.
(
The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:33,
archived)
Hello trouble,you sent me 3am gazzes over the weekend, do you remember drunky drunk?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)
RichersoundsI got a 42 inch LG plasma for £420 last week from the Glasgow branch.
www.richersounds.com//offers/home-cinema/lcd-and-plasma/lcd-tv
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)
I remember seeing this sort of thing for 6 grand in Dixons,about 6 or 7 years ago. How things move on.
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:30,
archived)
My 32" Philips LCD was £750 3 years ago.and at the time that was a bargain. It's what happens with techology, innit. LCD will be redundant in a short while and the tellys will cost pennies.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:32,
archived)
There are those new Samsung LED TV's out now,I've been wondering when that was going to happen for ages.
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:34,
archived)
HmmmmmI was waiting for flatscreen DLP, but it was Samsung that were championing that. Maybe they've given up?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:37,
archived)
The internet tells me DLP is for projectors...edit: it also tells me that Samsung's LED TVs only use LEDs for the backlight, which is disappointing.
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:41,
archived)
no, they are working on DLP internally in a flatscreenor they were. Because then it isn't cost-prohibative to make a massive one, as you use the same-sized "source" but more mirrors and prisms and shit.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 15:01,
archived)
generally I'd agree with this.they usually have some cracking deals if you aren't after a specific telly. I actually got mine from PC world, mind you, but that was because they had a misprint in a newspaper article and I thought I'd see if they would honour it. which they did.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:30,
archived)
They have a branch just down the road from me.I'll have another nip in there.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:32,
archived)
The Sony BraviaCracking tellys.
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Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:26,
archived)
Gonz, I recommend the Toshiba 37inch Regzawww.google.co.uk/products?hl=en&q=toshiba+37+inch+regza&scoring=p
It's the tits. I have one. I wish I had a penis and it had a vagina so I could make love to it.
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The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:32,
archived)
It's got a remote control....*blooooooooooooooop*
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Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:36,
archived)
You'll have to settle for a swift flick of the bean with the remote then.(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:37,
archived)
I love toshibas, good working !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:38,
archived)
how abouton of These?
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VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:37,
archived)
Get either a Sony Braviaor a Panasonic Viera
Dont get a samsung, although the LCD panel components are the best (sony use them) Samsungs LCD driving engine is quite shit and causes it to give a poor image.
I have a Bravia KDL46X2000 and a Bravia KDL32V2000, both are excellent
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turb0t, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:40,
archived)
Try Richer Sounds.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:47,
archived)
we got ours from thereI'm a convert :)
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spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:59,
archived)
here's why he's so upset today:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sebastian_Winnett
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:09,
archived)
Yeah, but to be fair ones we already knew and are frequently pointed out.This place is shit, the people on it are shit and we're all too shit to leave.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:12, archived)
I think his bottom lip is quivering with ill-contained rage and impotent fury at the interneteasy win for SexFace here
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:14,
archived)
do you think?i've not met him so i'm never really sure what i should read into his posts
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well, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:15,
archived)
he's cracking up, talking about me offline is a sure sign of it(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:16,
archived)
are you not friends with rathen then, offline?i've already added it to my chart of internet facts now :(
(
well, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:18,
archived)
i'm sorry to say i have no idea who rathen was, never met him(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:20,
archived)
I know for a fact that he's probably creasing up laughing coz he doesn't take this place seriously at all :)(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:16,
archived)
Good use of smiley, DG.*Clenched fist*
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:16,
archived)
:) :) :) :):) I'M SO NOT ANGRY RIGHT NOW :D :;0; 0;)(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:19,
archived)
so why did he get you to GAZ me asking me to stop ignoring him?for the record, I've never had him on ignore. I just don't find him interesting enough to talk to.
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:19,
archived)
dunno dude, he gazzed me to do him a favour and I did what he asked(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:20,
archived)
could you GAZ him for me and tell him he spelt "faux" wrong in his rant pleaseta
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Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:23,
archived)
We can all be the front man.But you two would be frontmen in an ironic way.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:21,
archived)
OOPS NOW I AM GETTING GAZes(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:12,
archived)
I've made a few notes.Mykeyboy
Ah Mykey, where to start? After all there is so much of him to cover.
I'll miss his thought provoking faux-racist posts, his deliciously unsuccesful attempts to deflect fat jokes by making bad ones himself but most of all I'll miss Gazzing people the jokes about them he sends to me behind their back whilst he pretends to have them on ignore.
Piston broke
It's not really fair to bully someone because they inhabit the shit end of the Autistic spectrum, or becuase they probably collect pewter dragons with jewels for eyes, however, it does entertain me. I'll miss his ability to sour any social interaction by being pedantic, irritating and just plain scary.
Sexface
I always thought he was quite amusing, in fact I used to see something of Wormulus in Sexface. This all changed when I got the tearful phonecalls from his girlfiend (my ex) late at night. I was happy to help, I just resented the fact that it was happening at all.
Also, no matter how he slices it, he tried to chat me up on MSN on Valentines day thinking I was a girl. Congratulations Sexface.
Mongychops
Someone once told me that Mongy was offline friends with Rathen, I really hope this is true as it makes it all seem a little bit friendlier and less creepy. I'd much rather he stayed on one side or the other of the troll fence, you always knew where you stood with Rathen.
Bob Todd
Autistic and frightening.
Moon Girl Technologies
Hands like dinner plates. I never had the guts to ask their gender.
Sammi
There is a portrait of Sammi in her attic that gets progressivly less deformed the more she posts on the internet, cruel really. Shallowness to one side, also not the brightest crayon in the box with an irritating characteristic of thinking they are good at arguing, when they really, really aren't.
Donkey Gums
What the fuck are you doing? Don't post on here, they're all mental. Get out whilst you still can.
Also, no offence but you look like a rapist/scarecrow.
Gilgamesh
He can't read this, becuase it has too many line breaks and has the words 'COCK TUESDAY' and 'ym' in. I was never really able to take him seriously, given that he posts the same thing every day and has something wrong with his brain. I never really understood how making pisstaky versions of the things that we consider shit is any less shit.
Is a 'OMG FOOD THREAD' better than a 'Food Thread'? Not sure.
I suspect he has me on ignore anyway becuase of how shit and repetitive I am. I hope the irony of that is not wasted on anyone.
Bud
When b3tans disapear for a bit I'm normally a bit sad. When Bud stopped doing his thing I was relieved and b3ta got really good, really quickly for about a week. Thanks mate.
Goatworrier
I was just beginning to get along with you.
Jam Master Geordie
At first I was a skeptic, but I see the genius of it now.
He sums up /talk perfectly, a fat person who thinks he better than some other fat people, pretending to be a fat person who thinks he's better than other fat people. It's like a wonderful performance mediated through the internet, brilliant stuff.
Esme
A larger girl, on the internet with a BIG PERSONALITY! Look out!
I can't really comment given that I can't ever remember having read one of her posts, despite her being top of the weekly stats.
Background Noisers, your Queen is here.
baldmonkey
I'll miss you, you do make me laugh. Just for the record, your podcast is painfully shit, even with the cutest child in the world on it. I think it probably amounts to abuse, stop it.
Also, your performance at the CHB bash was the ultimate act of kerazee zaneeeeness it didn't suit you.
Blue Star
Tits like kitchen binbags at cleaning out time. Another classic example of fat short girl with BAGS OF PERSONALITY that b3ta seems to breed. Maybe I'm thinking of someone else, they all blend into one another.
Friz
I find him supremely irritating and I'm not sure why. It also upsets me that he has absorbed the fatface meme, I'd much rather use it as a genuine insult, he looks like the Churchill dog.
Congratulations! you can rewrite pop lyrics and play the song on a piano whilst singing it! No really, congratulations! That's some daring stuff right there. I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of your satire, no siree. Fame awaits this talented young man, either that or something more appropriate, like a cruise-liner cabaret singer.
Karl Hysteria/Dekion
Reading their posts transports me back to my youth, posting things on newgrounds like it mattered.
Kill yourselves, now. All those things that you imagine will happen if you do this will come true, I promise. You'll be the best the world never had and everyone will mourn your passing. Either that or you'll spend the rest of your lives in the Midlands.
I've deliberatly grouped you together as I routinely forget which one is which.
Supermatt
You fucking freak of nature. You look like the internet made flesh, you're not quite as skin-crawlingly crippled as Turb0t though, so well done you and remember - Ladies love a dancer! and batman comics, you noobling.
Pickle Fairy
I meant every word I said to you. You imbecile.
Woodside
I could fill pages about you.
I'm sure you could contribute so much to the world, you're obviously not a total moron. I love how you extol the virtues of your own agenda whilst making huge assumptions about other people, I was choking with laughter when you called me 'an enemy of the people', I hope it was intentionally funny.
On a serious note, I suspect lazier and stupider people will beat you in the game of life. The world is not a meritocracy and nobody like chippy communists, sorry, you are broken, not the world.
rnuk
Get a fucking grip, you don't look like some steampunk alternative, you look like a chav from Manchester that's borrowed his Grandad's clothes. I hope one day you catch a glimpse of youself in a window and think about this and have a little cry. Console yourself with this though, your penis is bigger than mine, someone told me.
Captain Wow
You patronising bitch, stop refering to your boyfriend as 'the wife' it does my fucking nut in. Also, just becuase you have an opinion on something, doesn't mean it's worth sharing. Thanks.
Gonzo
The hairy Jew. Bles you gonz, you haven't a bad bone in your body. Apart from the bone in your brain, you spastic. Were you kept in a fridge whilst the other Jews went to school? Fucking hell mate.
Also stop smoking and bathe more.
rosalicious
Every forum needs a fat thief who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up. Or not.
Sticky Label
I knew from the moment I first saw you that you were an epic ringpiece. You're like a shit version of MoT or Gmos.
Psycho Chomp
You look like a paperclip salesman and have a fucking stupid name, other than that you should stick to being the coolest person on QotW. What an accolade!
Kersal Missive
I was always reasonably respectful to you on here, despite you being a mentalist and extremely rude to me OFFLINE! You look like Anne Frank in her final hours, although being a young girl Anne Frank probably didn't have a bush like a brillo pad.
cr3
Most people's faces have something at the bottom, we call it a chin. Get one, now. I am genuinely sick of hearing about your life, being a supergeek is like being Stephen Hawking, respect where its due but don't get cocky, you're still a mongling.
Amorous Badger
You've seem intent on sucking the life out of b3ta and feeding it to WW.
Lion cake
Gazzed me this:
'If you're as much of a dickhead IRL as you were on /talk then you should seriously consider flouncing out of real life.
One last point, if you do kill yourself DONT LEAVE A NOTE!
Wormulus
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:07,
archived)
Ha ha.I've come off rather well from that, I think.
Also, what is steampunk?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:10, archived)
Although, I'm rather hurt by the clothing remarkas I seem to remember us dressing somewhat similarly. Still, big penis and all that.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:13, archived)
I'm not fat.That's the worst insult I've ever had on here. Well done.
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Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:11,
archived)
That's quite a list.(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:12,
archived)
Pfft :Dmine was actually perfect and this thread made me laugh the most of posts this year.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:13,
archived)
I'm printing this off, framing it and hanging it on the wall next to a picture of Wormulus.Just like they do in North Korea.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)
Well done, here.(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:16,
archived)
Wow, I think I came off quite well there, thank's mate =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:16,
archived)
I do actually look a bit like a rapist scarecrow to be fair :)(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:22,
archived)
He says it like it's a bad thing.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:24,
archived)
Do use all a favour and...... Carradine.
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lion-cake Bad lion-cake, bad., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:50,
archived)
Epic Flounce.That is all.
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Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:53,
archived)
Epic spiteI am in awe.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 15:50,
archived)
FLOUNCE UP THE JAMFLOUNCE IT UP
TILL THE BEAT IS FLOUNCING
EVERYBODY ON THE FLOUNCE FLOOR
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VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 18:02,
archived)
You terrible fucking loser.(
Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 19:17,
archived)
i fucking love you've been framed(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 0:00,
archived)
Can I be on here, aswell?(
JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 21:15,
archived)
all those months you thought I had you on ignoreI just tuned you out because you were too dull to talk to
SORRY!
(
Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Thu 11 Jun 2009, 17:07,
archived)
I've just had to cancel one of my cards. SOMEBODY was trying to take money off of me!..and what's "a JMG"?
If you want to bond with these people, give them cake.
/edit
Now I'm off to meet O**line *irl and blame her. Good day nerds.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:55,
archived)
Probably something to do with my wigs r us account, too.(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:57,
archived)
I had a woman from Barclays call me up saying that someone was spending loads of money on my cardI freaked out then when she read everything back it was just the normal crap I buy :'(
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:57,
archived)
I managed to clamp down on Mr Fraud's spending and retrieve all of my funds.*Fists on hips*
Another victory in the fight against poor people.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:58,
archived)
I've never been called up and questioned about purchasesWhich is odd because sometimes I do just splash out.
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SuperMatt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:59,
archived)
"Mr.DG, have you purcahsed from Rubberhammer.co.uk for £34.53?
"...yes."
"Mr.DG have you bought...67...Pug calenders?!?! oh this can't be right..."
"no....that's correct..."
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:59,
archived)
This happend to me when I spend £400 online in about 30minsWhen I got my first pay check for this job.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:00, archived)
and you've still got 399 condoms left ;D(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:02,
archived)
She'll turn up on your doorstep with a long roll of receiptsDID YOU REALLY SPENT £48.20 ON TIGHT TROUSERS MISTER GUMS?
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:03,
archived)
FUCK OFF I DID!It was £75 for leopard print tight jeans, read the receipt proppa!
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:04,
archived)
I was contributing an educational theme to /talkconcerning interest rates in the eurozone you were doing... less so...
Now tell us about credit card fraud, hurrah! b3ta educational economics day!
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:59, archived)
I fancy Emma Bunton again.let's all agree on Emma Bunton.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:01,
archived)
I was more of a Geri man.(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:02,
archived)
She did have the best boobs in terms of "Today they will be small. tomorrow they will be HUGE! the day after that they will be shaped like a map of Africa..."(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:03,
archived)
Fucking hell, that reminds me that I might've collected those spice girls photos.I hope this isn't true.
(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:05,
archived)
The folder on your hard drive is called "ZiggaZigaah"(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:06,
archived)
At this point I'd like to congratulate Sir Alan Sugar on his appointing of Yasmina to the position ofBest Chest in The Apprentice
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:05, archived)
The only economics these people want to discuss is the "Home Economics" class they took in school.Where they'd just bake cakes and eat chocolate for an hour a week.
Like fat lesbians.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:02,
archived)
That always disappointed me about Home Economics,it was always cakes. You can't just live on cakes all the time, how about some real life skills?
No wonder so many people just get ready meals.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:05,
archived)
How to fend off a Grizzly with a plastic spatula?(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:06,
archived)
I've had to do that more than once,but that's just instinct, isn't it?
I mean, like, how to make a basic pasta sauce. Or how to cook pasta, for that matter.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:07,
archived)
real life for me is supernoodles and toast(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:06,
archived)
we used to cook loads of meals, we did cod in a parsley sauce once. i dont eat fish. i didnt like it(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:09,
archived)
Does anyone have an idea of fixed rate mortgage rateswithin the Eurozone from the past 10 or so years, mainly the years 2000-2007?
Currently they're at around 5%, with a eurozone interest rate of 1%, and that just doesn't seem quite right, so a comparison with the past would be nice (to compare the mortgage rate with the ECB interest rate) for some friends of mine currently trying to get a mortgage in the Netherlands.
Hey, at least I'm not doing a JMG.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:48, archived)
I've just bought a new motorbike helmet.I know nothing of mortgages.
(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:49,
archived)
What is it with those twats that have fluffy things on their helmets?Isn't the whole point a smooth surface that you can slide on and stop your neck from snapping?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:50, archived)
I'm getting a pair of cat ears for minefuck yeah.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:51,
archived)
Don't do it.It will lose its cuteness if you're smeared across the road.
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:53,
archived)
It was great, thank you!We had fun and your flat is lovely.
Sorry for appearing rude - I did say thank you via FB but maybe you didn't see...
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:56,
archived)
I did see itI just though I'd initiate some conversation over here :)
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SuperMatt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:57,
archived)
Good!We especially enjoyed the curvaceous blonde who did the dancing...
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:58,
archived)
Oh no! I don't mean it in a euphemistic way!I promise.
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:09,
archived)
Are you saying you could see the outline of my penis in my trousers?(
SuperMatt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:14,
archived)
Why do you think I left so early?You were crowding the room.
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:50,
archived)
Chompy has got some woodlouse ears for his helmet.his winky helmet
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:54,
archived)
At least it means he's leaving his own alone, for a change.The other bus passengers will be pleased.
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:59,
archived)
I dunno, but if I see a biker with 'comedy' fluffy devil horns on, I automatically think he/she's a bellend.(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:51,
archived)
OH SPANGOLIN!(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:51,
archived)
I have my Direct Access test coming up soon.Then I get my NINJA!!!!
(
Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:53,
archived)
they're nice bikeslots of them around.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:01,
archived)
I think I saw them on tomorrow's world,with little holes to let you hear the truck that's going to smush you like a tube of toothpaste
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:53,
archived)
mine's at 5%ishbought a year or so ago.
Fuckers.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:50,
archived)
more like 5.5% actually(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:51,
archived)
just pre.sadface.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:53,
archived)
*joins the mortgage fail club*Northern Rock Together mortgage fixed until 2011 at 5.5%
(
h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:57,
archived)
Take consolation that the fixed rate hasn't dropped anyDutch bankers are still wankers.
The variable rate they're being offered by ING (of course) is 1.82, just if the economy starts picking up again and the ECB interest rates hit 4% will they be paying 4.92% or something more horrific is the question. Most likely the latter; and if not, then... why the fuck are they even offering 5%.
There's a sting in there somewhere, I just wish I had past comparison for tracker interest rates.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:56, archived)
They offer itbecause they either believe it has the potential to get much worse, or they think the perception is that way. There's a credit crunch, you take what you can with the risks attached.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:01,
archived)
I don't really know much about Hollandbut can't you only get fixed mortgages? in which case, what's the issue? either you want a house or you don't. Past rates aren't going to help you.
Actually, past rates aren't going to help regardless. It's not like you can go into ING and go "well, looking at the last 8 years data I think you should be offering at a lower rate" and they are going to go "well, fuck me, I never thought of that. Here you are, have it cheaper"
You take the best offer you get. Or you don't. Simples.
Or alternatively, get a financial advisor rather than asking us lot. They are free after all.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:09,
archived)
They offer tracker or variable rates alsoso I'm hoping to use the past to indicate what might happen to the rate if things pick up again. Banks always play the same game with raising and lowering them, trying to milk as much as they can, so it would be nice to see under what circumstances they milked it proper in the past.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)
heaven forbidthat banks, as businesses, should try and make money out of their customers ;)
I would get a fixed rate now if you can as they are seriously unlikely to get any lower. What with it being a bit impossible and that.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:28,
archived)
I have a mortgage in the Netherlands5% sounds reasonable.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:51,
archived)
I always knew you were a rent boy.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:51,
archived)
you forgot to account for triple jump years(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:53,
archived)
I don't have a mortgage, I like the word tabernacle(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:51,
archived)
Hebrew has a lot of good words.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:53,
archived)
Good idea.I meat to do that ages ago, but I failed to put Radio 4 on instead, and forgot.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:55,
archived)
There is somebody in my office that has a lucky cunt wanker bastard mortgageIt was a tracker mortgage set at 0.5% below the baserate.
Earlier this year, the baserate went below 0.5% which means that their mortgage was being paid off even if they didnt make any payments, cunts.
(
turb0t, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:53,
archived)
hahanegative interest
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:56,
archived)
it doesn't work like that, see below.in any case there will be a small print clause prohibiting the rate from dropping below zero, even if nothing below is applicable.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:06,
archived)
That last statement isn't true (even if the rest is, which I doubt, I think you're being fibbed to)It's not being paid off. It just isn't currently increasing in debt.
And trackers like that are only set for 2 years max anyway.
and they are set below the banks base rate, not the bank of englands. Bank base rates are 2-4% higher than the BoE base rate. So he'll still be paying 2% interest or so.
(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:04,
archived)
it was a sheshe is not normally in the habit of lying either, she seemed fairly convinced about it though.
(
turb0t, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 14:37,
archived)
You'll be needing to ask Friz for thishe's a whizz at offering 'cracker tracker mortgages'
(
The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:58,
archived)
What do you like most about ME?ME.
You love a bit of this.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:13,
archived)
That you're a long way away.(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:14,
archived)
I'm unlikely to bump into him on a Saturday night out thoughunless one of us is using a train to pub crawl.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:23,
archived)
NEAR THE TOP JMG CHALLENGE!See how long you can last!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC1CUl4XcZc
(
ArthurTheRat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:22,
archived)
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:23,
archived)
the mere act of speaking seems to make him out of breath.(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:37,
archived)
piece of piss.this guy's a fucking amateur.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:36,
archived)
you make me laugh, and you support my silly sports(
GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:14,
archived)
Are you going to be at the Olympics, GMoS?This'd make you much more famous than Baldmonkey.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:18,
archived)
Your beautiful perineum.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:14,
archived)
I hear they come from far & wideIn the hope that they can glide
a finger in the area that does divide
Jammies arsehole from his cock
(
broadsword, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:19,
archived)
haha*click*
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:21,
archived)
They form a queue around the townMen and women, white and brown
His pants to put their fingers down
And tickle 'neath his balls
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:22,
archived)
In the hot weather when it is boilingthe boys & girls are all spoiling
to give jammies stinky-bridge a good old oiling
and maybe a bit of a lick
(
broadsword, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:24,
archived)
We've had to institute some rulesTo stop them bringing poking tools
Or covering his nads with drool
As his thighs get very slick
edit@: half day! bye!
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:26,
archived)
nice!*waves*
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:33,
archived)
Wow asked the boss for a half dayshe really had to get away
so she could sniff the fine bouquet
coming from between Jammies legs
(
broadsword, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:42,
archived)
The fact that I can talk to you and see myself in your head reflection at the same timeThe house of mirrors must be like a never ending optical illusion for you!
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:14,
archived)
Oh jammers, you know I'm just tugging your leg to get the tubbers gwuffing into their various pastry goods.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:20,
archived)
I was looking to catch the after-lunch pre-moan market.:(
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:21,
archived)
You need to wait for the 15 minute window between lunch and dinner for that jambo.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:24,
archived)
Jamingleton....I know you're a modest man, who works behind the scenes, but I just would like to thank you for having a word in O2's ear to whipe out my £1400ish phone bill last month.
If I can ever do anything for you, like have a word with my World Media or World Banks, just say the word.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:15,
archived)
£1400 phone bill....I would have talked dirty to you for £40 for the month!
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:16,
archived)
222mb @ £6/mb.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:17,
archived)
I know ! lesson learnt.To be fair, most of that was spent on a window's update, a test one, that I didn't notice.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:20,
archived)
You can go to the Lake District and stare at mossy rocks for free.Conversation is better too...
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:19,
archived)
www.b3ta.com/talk/5290546
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:21,
archived)
sending one email and hitting spell check, took hotmail 72 hours to complete(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:26,
archived)
i most certainly do not(
rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:15,
archived)
i can't really say as i have never met you and know nothing about you(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:17,
archived)
Everyone has met JMG, he's in our hearts.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:23,
archived)
Hats, capes and Vimto.I prefer me though, JMG
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:19,
archived)
Oh I don't know, your face, I suppose.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:33,
archived)
your wikipedia entry got deleted(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:41,
archived)
Sexface was on about his win the other night, but I'm not so sure.Plus I think there's a public vote.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:41,
archived)
the bit where you go away(
VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:35,
archived)
Bloody hell.The flatmate has asked me to do the sound for his next gig. This leaves me in a predicament. I've not done live sound for years, you see. Here are the issues:
1) It could be a good laugh, and something a little different. Plus, I'd probably get free beer too.
2) While I probably am skilled enough to do it, I've not done it for ages, and might not want to risk losing my own self-confidence, plus the assumed confidence of the flatmate, and also The Woman.
3) I'm really not a fan of his music. Not at all.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)
2 and 3 seem to solve each other.Mess it up then you don't have to listen to his music.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:49, archived)
gowan do it and have a laughgowan dont do it and let him know way before hand so he doesnt get upset and wank into your cottage cheese.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:50,
archived)
Not that he'll know, as it tastes like wank anyway.(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:50,
archived)
Does he know that you dislike his music?Or is this his way of making you admit it and feel bad?
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:50,
archived)
Do it you wuss. It'll probably come back to you naturally.Do you get a chance to rehearse with the band?
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:50,
archived)
DO IT!If your self-confidence hasn't been ruined on here, it's clearly indestructible.
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:51,
archived)
I once witness a sound engineerget a right proper kicking for fucking up the sound. Think man!
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:52,
archived)
Witnessed or did the kicking?(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:52,
archived)
Witnessed.It was in Loughbourgh. Fair do's though, there was feedback and a bad mix all night. The bass player from the support band did the kicking.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:55,
archived)
Oi youWhy do I seem to have some sort of meerkat in my cleavage?
Here www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/onsite/gif/8573.ning.gif
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:57,
archived)
You are seeing things again my dear.It's a bush baby.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:58,
archived)
Oh sorry,Of course it is.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:00,
archived)
I'm going to confiscate your camera.I knew I shouldn't have believed you when you said you weren't going to shop it.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:02,
archived)
Ah, makes more sense nowI was wondering how you had just noticed...!
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:08,
archived)
Many time after a sound check we've all said "Oi mate, do you know what you're doing? turn the kick drum down and the bass off of the guitars and take the top off the mic...there...was it that hard?""We'll do the rest with our amps, stop making the PA the main sound system!"
One guy wanted us to play everything through the PA, no cabs at a normal pub gig once. The PA system was about 300watts. We told him to fuck off and we'll do it ourselves.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:59,
archived)
last time I played to my crowded teddy bear collectionI gutted the sound check bear.
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:02,
archived)
I heard the polly pockets all threw their knickers at you(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:11,
archived)
What's the use?I'm going back to bed.
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:55,
archived)
Do it reluctantlyand fuck it up so badly that no-one asks you again. Then tell yourself that it's not your fault, it's just no-one asks you. Then award yourself five passive-aggressive points.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:53,
archived)
Does anyone else use the b3ta image uploader?I'm trying to delete some images and I can't get it to work.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:56,
archived)
what browser/OS are you using?(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:59,
archived)
Just have a crack at it.Right before you're about to do something crucial with the sound, you'll hear your heart beat thunder in your ears, and everything will slow. You'll catch the glance of a man in the audience wearing a silk white suit, and he'll nod, and wink, to let you know you're doing well. Believe in yourself.
(
The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:01,
archived)
Oh Russell,I can't offer you any advice here.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:12,
archived)
Just do it.Most audiences can't tell if the sound's right or not, unless it's really bad. If you don't give them a foldback monitor on stage, they won't hear what you're doing to it.
(
The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:13,
archived)
In your opinion, what is the best pirate game?For lunch I am having pronounce scone hangover cure just a thought.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:25,
archived)
no it isn't, it's the best monkey island game(
Lightguy hail satan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:25,
archived)
Pirate games are surely not as fun as being an actual piratewhich I assume is a lifelong haze of sex, rum and killing.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:25,
archived)
and Jack Sparrow.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:28,
archived)
Although having a squiddy beard and one giant claw would also be fun.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:30,
archived)
hey, that's not a shame.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 13:03,
archived)
To rhyme with'arr, tis gone.'
(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:27,
archived)
Pop-up-PirateClearly.
(
whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:27,
archived)
HEYpick me up from devon and take me to the captains bash in august please?
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:27,
archived)
oh man binky you should totally come alongI will feed you curry and gin.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:28,
archived)
Do you think you could come to Portsmouth and I'll take it from there?(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:30,
archived)
that's 3 1/2 hours. how far is it from portsmouth?or how about i get to bristol?
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:32,
archived)
It'd be another three or four hours from mine.Bristol would mean me driving the wrong way and I am a cunt.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:37,
archived)
lol teenager grease
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:43,
archived)
:(looong drive! Train?
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:30,
archived)
5 hours on train, plus one hour's drive.also car parking maybe, and cost of train tickets.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:31,
archived)
stansteadyou have to pass it to get to theirs
that is if you use the m11.
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:48,
archived)
It will be worth it.*sniggers in a sort of secretive glee*
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:30,
archived)
I CAMP ALLLLL THE TIME DARLING AT CHB'S! *mincy mincy hair toss mincy*(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:33,
archived)
Any way you want. Camp, crash in the house, whatever.binkycomebash
kthnksbye x
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:34,
archived)
Also L-Space gets naked at 3am. it's like clockwork. Girls scream and run and we all take it in turns to plait his back hair.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:35,
archived)
And watch his yo-yo-pods.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:38,
archived)
He wabbles and biffs them between his thighs.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:39,
archived)
Just don't put up your tent next to his.He snores like a hippo with a shovel up it's arse and farts like a wind tunnel on a shit farm.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:40,
archived)
thats only because you could not stand up after laying down with those tight jeans on(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:52,
archived)
booty on the old speccypirates on the pc
all the monkey islands on the pc.
/cannot be bothered to choose
(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:27,
archived)
You are a terrible, awful man.(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:31,
archived)
Dressing up and taking over a ship(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:30,
archived)
[taking a shit strikethrough lolarity](
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:40,
archived)
Pie Rate 3: This Time It's PiesonalI enjoyed the bonus slice and pasty level
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:31,
archived)
My eyes hurt.What are you complaining about today?
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:45,
archived)
i accidentally gave myself food poisoning so i'm a bit poorly and complaining about that(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:46,
archived)
no, i'm notbut since you mention it, in my day we lived 17 to a room. and there was no roof. or walls. or floor. and we survived on a handful of gravel a week between us.
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:50,
archived)
GRAVEL?Luxury. We used to get hit over the head with a hammer and then eat the hammer.
(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:53,
archived)
we used to have to push a boulder up a mountain every morning, then jump off into a pit of hungry crocodiles... get eaten... get shit out again...then we'd have to walk to the shop carrying a feast fit for a king with castor sugar all over our lips and if we licked them our entire family would be murdered in front of us and then I'd be towel whipped with their souls..
etc etc
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)
We used to have towake up at 3am every morning and be pushed through a press, then chopped into squares and heated to make us into those complementary towels you get on airplanes after your meal, then shipped round the world to be used on a transatlantic flight, before being disposed of and recycled AND THEN, and only then would we be given our meal, of 3 atoms of caesium.
BY GOD WE WERE LUCKY
(
The Neville What what what, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:19,
archived)
Ey 'upAhm gan' t' lay down a wave of t' pestilence and t' despair, but first, let's have a nice cup o' tea. Lovely
(
The Neville What what what, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:50,
archived)
I'll go out on a limb and say it's rarely done on purpose.If you had done it on purpose, you'd be a bit silly to complain about it.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47,
archived)
i blame asda. i was within the use by date but the chicken was definitely a bit off :(*queases*
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:51,
archived)
Take the sick and faecal matter back to the shop in freezer bags and demand your money back.(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:52,
archived)
I'm reminded of the last time I was in Ireland.*boiks*
Well I hope you feel better soon.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:58,
archived)
Hahaha, poor oul Spider.(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:43,
archived)
hahahwhy on earth did you eat some chicken that was "definitely a bit off"?
Are you crazy or summat??
(
Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:45,
archived)
Hopefully it will go wrong, so you can complain about it.(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47,
archived)
Good thinking.I thought I'd look on the internet for some tips, and found this:
www.expertvillage.com/video/135645_using-plane-on-door.htm
It's like a comedy sketch which never really starts. I was waiting for the afro wearing buffoon to take his fingers off.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:49,
archived)
He should get an electric planeI've got one, they're great fun.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)
I got one on the weekend, for jobs such as this.I've got about 10 doors to do.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:00,
archived)
I'm going to do it outside.And then I'm going to plane the doors lololololololol
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:03,
archived)
MY EYE HURT YESTERDAYi got something in it.
it felt all bruised for like an hour.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47,
archived)
hayfever graaaahhhhhhhh no money graahhhhhhhhh(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47,
archived)
RAWR STOMP SMASH etc.i agree, except instead of hayfever i have seasonal itchy arms that thankfully respond to antihistamines
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:48,
archived)
itchy scratchy binkyare you all settled in now? all unpacked? :)
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:51,
archived)
YES it is sooo awesomewe still have a pile of stuff to take to charty/recycle/dump, and we need to clean the old house thoroughly too... BUT I LIKE THE NEW PLACE i feel about 800% more independent and it is FANTASTIC yeah.
i am going to let the cats out on thursday or friday. it will have been 2 and a half weeks...
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:02,
archived)
we phoned a guy with a van up to come and collect all our rubbish from moving, it's a great idea.check your Yellow Pages from something similar if you don't want to trek back and forth to the dump.
Good plan - their little cat homing devices will have fixed on "home" now :)
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:07,
archived)
apparently the local recycle centre does house clearances - we just feel the need to check everything in case anything important is still in there!i seem to have misplaced a bond certificate, my driving licence... :P
there's probably one heap with everything i need
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
cor, that's good.I put out ALL the cardboard boxes (shitloads) for the recycle bin men this morning, only to discover it's next week they collect. Boo.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:10,
archived)
we get recycle every monday and rubbish every other tuesdayand i have ordered a COMPOST BIN for my garden eee i am excited.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:17,
archived)
eventually the CHICKENS will eat scraps, I think.For now our garden is a hideous jungle that can only be cured with fire and weedkiller.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:27,
archived)
WAIT WHAT? YOU'RE GETTING CHICKENS?omg can i come and visit?
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:44,
archived)
totally can!No chickens for a while, mind. The little Eglu hutch thing is ESSPENSIVE.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:45,
archived)
3because two of them form a strong bond, and when one inevitably dies (and gets eaten) the other can stop laying. 3 form a more open group and can accept new chickens when the other ones die.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:56,
archived)
these puns are clucking terrible.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:56,
archived)
I don't beaklieve it!(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:59,
archived)
you chicks and your bad jokes, i don't know(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:59,
archived)
i am now looking atthis and trying to come up with something new.
Nothing is COMBing to mind sr far though... :(
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:08,
archived)
are you just adapting these from another pun thread or are theyAD HOCK?!
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:15,
archived)
my garden is a lawn consisting mostly of dandelions, some paving full of weeds, gravel likewise, some bamboo covered in bindweed, and A MOTHERFUCKING PALM TREE.and an awesome shed.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:45,
archived)
bindweed is a bugger to clearbut FUCK a palm tree! We have head-height nettles and no grass.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:46,
archived)
yeah i am going to buy a shit load of weedkiller i think, for bindweed and paving/gravel, and i have started DIGGING UP about 1/3 of the lawn for a VEGETABLE bedi say vegetables - i'm thinking runner beans, spinach, chard, and probably SWEET PEAS.
also my dad is cultivating about 6 herb cuttings for me to have in big pots on the paving.
YEAH GARDENING i like gardening.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:49,
archived)
yay!Peas are good to plant along with sweetpeas because the blackfly are kept away by the sweetpea smell and you don't get flies on your eating peas. And eating peas right from the pod is so nyom. Potatoes are easy to grow too, and strawberries. My ma's giving me a load of herbs and a few strawberry runners.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:58,
archived)
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
Local honeyIt's like miracles in a jar
(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:01,
archived)
Do they glue your eyes shut, therefore preventing pollen from getting in?(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:08,
archived)
I don't know if I want to eat anything from a Croydon bee.(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
you're a llama, maaaaaaaaaaaaa(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:07,
archived)
*chews on your hat*(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:10,
archived)
GOVERMENT IN MELTDOWNCONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT WITH A LIBDEM OPPOSITION.
CAMERON ON A THRONE MADE FROM THE BONES OF ARGENTINIAN SOLDIERS.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:48,
archived)
Capslocks asideI'd be quite chuffed with a Lib Dem opposition.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:54,
archived)
Please don't reply to thisI'm not really prepared to have a genuine political conversation on here.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:55,
archived)
On account of how appalling your various opinions are.I've been reading them you know.
Pig ignorant they are.
PIG IGNORANT.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:55,
archived)
The worst part is how clever you all obviously feel when you type themChests heaving, palms sweating, complex arguments to justify your horrendous political fetishes swirling in your brain but evaporating as you try and cram them into the quick reply box.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:58,
archived)
Bring it back to OT thenI missed it due to educational reasons on Friday
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
The politiclol part of the BNP thread got deleted,shame it was hilarious.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)
I don't think he liked me saying that having kids didn't excuse his ignorance,oh and I took the piss out of his spelling and education.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)
I just flicked through it again and It looked like it was all there still.(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)
Fuck me, that was a spastic stuck in a paper bag moment if I've ever read one.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:52,
archived)
I'm not sure what BGB meant by'Wormulus will probably try to say something funny with just 3 words'
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:13,
archived)
Why not?It always ends so well.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:58,
archived)
I can't figure out when I made a difficult work-related decision that wasn't quittingand I also I can't remember a time I overlooked a new initiative which had an impact on anything. Job application forms are STUPIDS.
(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:48,
archived)
Being at work. Nothing new there, then.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:49,
archived)
Clients who "aren't able to" pay meBastards
(
The Neville What what what, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:49,
archived)
You and your shit threads(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:49,
archived)
You tell her.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:51,
archived)
*lets out the main sheet**ups the anchor*
*reigns in the jenny*
*SETS A COURSE ON THE PANDERVESSEL STRAIGHT TO BLUE STAR*
YAAARRGGH!
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)
I NO.I'm a terrible mother and a woman hater and I'm always on here. I'm an awful human being. With very sore eyes.
I'm not a Vincent Price impersonator just yet though.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:59,
archived)
I have a mild case of PAIN.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:49,
archived)
only mild?surely this is cause for celebration!
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:52,
archived)
Yeah but mild PAIN to me is the equivalent of having your arms fed in to a shredder.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:10,
archived)
are you responsible forthis?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:53,
archived)
Scotland?YES!
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:16,
archived)
My nipper once poked me in the eye, his fingernail made the white bit bleed.That smarted
(
Gooch Is neither here nor there, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:50,
archived)
YEOUCHI got burned in the white of my eye once with a cigarette. I also pulled an elastic band over my head and snapped it into my eyes once. I was very very young at the time.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:02,
archived)
my eyes also hurtand i am tired. and I am at work. nothing is good about this day.
(
valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:50,
archived)
Sup, yoI need to ask you something. You gig more than me.
Why on EARTH would they want us there at half 4 if we're on third of three bands at half ten?
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:52,
archived)
Bass. Fisher Price guitar.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56,
archived)
Ahhhh, blessimg.photobucket.com/albums/v34/bad_lady/BandDiagWeb.jpg
That's us
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:01,
archived)
Nice.I just got a phone call. We are last on on the main night at a festival.
Only thing is we follow Sham 69 and The Beat. I'm a bit concerned the audience may not be perfect for us.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:07,
archived)
Ooooh, showbiz!Sod the audience. SOD THEM. Have a brill time, chappy.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:08,
archived)
I'm looking forward to it.We will get it viddied as we are going to have the full light show and shit.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:11,
archived)
I shall watch with great interestshould somebody point me in the direction of the video.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:13,
archived)
hahathat's a nice setup. I just got 2 yamahas, DGX-220 and P150 stage piano. i dont really do much other than piano, never really got into the whole do it yourself crazy stuff!
(
valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:05,
archived)
I use a Kurvweil piano rack modulebut for live sound I simply use the one on the SP100. I've had it since 1994 and have never found a better live piano. You can pick them up for fuck all now.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
to be honestI'm not that educated when it comes to pianos.. i just play it! hehe. The PS150 was between £1500-£2000 new and I got it for £500, it's a really nice sounding piano. but then I only have an out of tune upright to compare it against :D
here it is lol
www.fictionalfuture.com/bowie_08/photos/bowie_con_0010.jpg
(
valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:13,
archived)
I used to demo for Korg.The SP 100 was deliberately over engineered for the price. The keyboard is fantastic, it feels like and plays like a real piano. They got brilliant reviews and damaged Roland's sales although they made an initial loss on it, they then brought out the SP 300 and 500. Same thing but with a few more voices and toys and upped the price by loads and made gazillions. It cost £600 new back in '94 which was very much cheaper than the Kurzi and better.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:17,
archived)
cooli'll check it out! i play in a soul/funk/blues band so the p150 is great for all the stax stuff. then i just use the 76keyer for clavi and so on. I'm also part of a Bowie tribute show - we did "Life On Mars" and "Time" at an old theatre - it's sounded bloody good in there with a bit of plate reverb!
(
valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:22,
archived)
Plate reverb.I used to work at Olympic Studios. Many years ago it had a huge plate revrerb room. 22' X 10' sheets of half inch steel. 20 of them all suspended from the roof by huge chains. Now that's plate reverb.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:27,
archived)
yea I wasn't talking about REAL plate reverbbut I've read about it and watched lots of videos youtube, hehe. its pretty good stuff
(
valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:31,
archived)
Cracking stuff though.Bloody great array of speakers one end and a load of huge valve mics the other and by raising and lowering of various plates, you could vary the reverb.
We are quite lucky as we rehearse and record in my own studio, which is handy.
If you ever want a good job done gaz me. Details in profile.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:39,
archived)
Ew, it's WYCOMBE.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:57,
archived)
Where you playing and on what day? The bar fly have that policy. Tell them to fuck off as it's stupid.If the sound man isn't there when you turn up then you want double money.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:06,
archived)
High Wycombe, White Horse, Friday night 19/06We've got a sound man if necessary, but it'd be nice for him to just be a guitarist.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:07,
archived)
They should have an in house. If not then call them up and ask them why.Basically places ask you to get there very early as they know what bands are like with being late. If you're on last then you'll soundcheck first, but for 3 bands that's rediculous. We were asked once to get to The Bar Bly as we were headlining for 2pm! We were going on at 11pm. We got there, no one about so we just drank and said to put it on the promoters tab.
Stay away from RW Concerts if you get approached. Offers you big gigs but the guy is a double cunt. Hasn't got a clue how to put on a rock night. Right little billy bullshitter.
Isn't the White Horse a strip club?
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:14,
archived)
It is, a terrible onebut it's been in the gig market for years, so it's paid it's dues. Ta for all the info, chappy. We do about 4 or 5 gigs a year (always writing) so we don't see the light of day often...
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:18,
archived)
a gig is a gig :)I've played some right rough places in my time. We usually gig about 30 times a year once we get up and running. But we are starting to only do the good gigs now as we can't be fucked to drive to shit places.
Playing Hell's Angels parties/ Chop n Rod and stuff now that will be interesting :)
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:22,
archived)
The problem is one of us is a barman, and one of us is a cheftwo jobs not conducive to being free every Friday and Saturday night. That also doesn't help... :D
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:24,
archived)
bah :)Having a job and gigging is a massive pain in the butt. you can understand why most people are young when they make it because they've got the time to do it :)
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:25,
archived)
Exactlybut it's still fun as a hobby.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:30,
archived)
I used to work behind the bar there and they had an inhouse sound guyThat was about 5 years ago though, so might have changed since then.
(
fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:26,
archived)
The last time I went there was about 6ish years agoDo you remember a band called vertibreak playing? Lead singer was a dready guy, they supported Skindred?
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:30,
archived)
Oh get you with your cheezy grin and shit...(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:53,
archived)
it's my shitty mouth that makes me show my teeth(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:18,
archived)
You should floss those fuckers.You look like Cher gargling with Nutella.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:45,
archived)
I got three hours sleep last night and I'm having to take phone calls for the first time in ages todayBOO Miss Star BOO.
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:53,
archived)
I have cold toesBut that's because I stupidly put on sandals and my office is a bit chilly.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:55,
archived)
No, just too flimsy for a cold room(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:59,
archived)
Isn't this just a great excuse for lunch-time shoe shopping?(
thealternativefact, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:01,
archived)
who would want to eat a shoe?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:02,
archived)
I don't think they'd want to eat a shoeexcept perhaps out of spite because they wont stay on their hooves
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:06,
archived)
I don't work near any shops :(Apart from Asda.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:09,
archived)
I keep putting my feet up on the base of my chairand rolling backwards away from the computer
CURSE YOU, SIR REGINALD WHEEL
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:59,
archived)
Clearly you need a set of wheel chocks to go behind your chair(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:03,
archived)
My head.I got very drunk and talked shite at my Da last night. Hello internet.
(
Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:42,
archived)
I haven't been to bed yet.I was up all night messing about with CSS stuff. It's all working great now though.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 12:09,
archived)
PolitilolsHow to win if you're in the Green Party.
Keep all your environmental policies, but tack on a 'No More Johnny Foriegner' policy. You can then canvass the ignorant scaredy-cat votes, the racist vote, AND the militant eco-warrior vote. Simples.
*squeaky sound*
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)
HELLO YOU.i am totally going to sort out my randomburns this week. GET READY FOR AWESOME*.
*may be shit.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:23,
archived)
Johnny Catfish said I had 'an excellent music library'.I was proper big headed and that. Validation from one of the blokes with awesome musical tastes, ONLINE.
Hello birthday chum.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26,
archived)
I'm not.Do you want one? I personally didn't think it was that great but *shrug*
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:28,
archived)
i only have one so far TOO.i have done the song selection, i have to sort it into reasonable order, burn, make tracklists and parcel them up. IT IS A LOT OF WORK i'll have you know.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:33,
archived)
i think 2 people last year never bothered sending me themONE WAS GONZO bad gonzo :(
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:34,
archived)
i know it is, i did it too!do you want one of mine? it's brilliant
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:34,
archived)
I got Harlod bishops love child cd the other day.Haven't had chance to listen to it but the listing looks good.
(
BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:37,
archived)
i sent him one. actually, i sent you one too!i only had a first name on the address list so that's why it was addressed to 'bindibaji tom' or whatever your name is. forgotten now.
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:45,
archived)
Cool, Look forward to it.I've got to burn cds and write up tracklisting. Addresses on jiffy bags and cover all done.
(
BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:52,
archived)
have you not got it already?hmm, i sent it ages ago.
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:58,
archived)
I quite like Johnny Foriegnermy local corner shop has gone bust and been shut for a couple of months, and I've just learnt that some Indian guys are taking it over. It's re-opening! Hooray!
(
rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:24,
archived)
I have Johnny Foreigner for a girlfriendShe's only French so not one of those proper Johnny Foreigners but I like her being here.
because she lets me spuff on her tits
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)
she only lets you do that because your spunk smells oniony and it reminds her of home and riding a bike wearing a beret.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:36,
archived)
It's ok, if a French person falls over they just walk about a bit and shrug it off(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:40,
archived)
Windows 7 is actually a bit bloody good.(
The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:24,
archived)
they should call it Windows 007and make it play the James Bond theme when it crashes.
(
rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26,
archived)
They'd do better if they said 'fuckit' to the green stuffSet up a regime based on powering our national grid through burning bunnies. That'll get the votes in.
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:25,
archived)
The Greens were the only party that bothered to turn up on our doorstep.Two lovely girls they were too. One had a fantastic chest. I'd have given her my vote, if you know what I mean.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)
You'd have put your mark in her box?(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:27,
archived)
you need to tell them you're undecidedso that they have to come in for a cup tea to persuade you
(
rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:28,
archived)
Remember to point out you only have the one cup between them.(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:31,
archived)
My Black Panther (White Chocolate Wing) PartyDid better than last time!
DOWN WITH THE WHITES.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:25,
archived)
I like asking my 4 year old son what colour we are"PINK!" he says
(
rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:27,
archived)
Well, you red heads kinda are...I'm just a very very very light black man with two white parents.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:29,
archived)
you talk the talk,but can you walk the walk?
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:33,
archived)
'course I can PLAYA!*pulls trousers down around bum and shows off pants and minces about*
Oh, no, wait...no I can't.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:36,
archived)
he's not a redheadhe just going on the actual colour of white peoples skin - which is pink.
(
rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:33,
archived)
Mine's a kind of failed liver yellow.Like I've been bathing in mustard.
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:35,
archived)
yeah, but that's because you bathe in mustard(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:36,
archived)
I'd name my candidates after the four horsemenI'd be famine, for ironylols.
(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26,
archived)
when will the people of briton wake up to the fact that tough border control and not allowing every fucker in is not a racist agenda(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:29,
archived)
I think we should allow people in depending on if their national food is any good.(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:31,
archived)
Jerk Chicken?!? IN YOU COME! :Dwhat's this...a dirty, curly thing is see-through sauce...mmmmGET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:39,
archived)
chinese japanese hairy knees look at these(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:42,
archived)
We should have Marco Pierre White and Gordon Ramsey on border control.(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:41,
archived)
i don't think we should let anyone in ever, not even for a holiday, fucking tourists(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:38,
archived)
GOVERNMENT IN MELTDOWNTHE WHEELS ARE FALLING OFF BROWN'S AUSCHWITZ SOCIALISM DEATH TRAIN.
TO THE CAMERON MOBILE!
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:39,
archived)
nenenenenenenenenenepunchthepoornenenenenenenenenenepunchthepoor
PUNCH THE POOR PUNCH THE POOR PUNCH THE POOR
NENENENENENEEEEEEEE PUNCHDAPOOOOR!
(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:42,
archived)
I'm voting Punch The Poor. I'm not elitist.*stock picture*
(
ArthurTheRat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:46,
archived)
With that nice Mr Tebbit at the wheelthe Tories can surely wipe that racist sentiment off the political map.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:42,
archived)
I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW TAX LOWERING OVERLORDSMAKE THE DOLERS CLEAN UP DOG POO FOR THEIR FISHFINGER SANDWICHES.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47,
archived)
i'd like a real leader in power that had good genetics, not the current ones who seem to have spastic children who dielet's have someone in charge who can atleast reproduce properly
(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:43,
archived)
Crab footballWhat the fuck was that all about ?
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:02,
archived)
Aw! Fuck me! Let's play crab football.Meet you down the rec.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:04,
archived)
No one played crab footballunless they were forced to by sadistic 1970's teachers. Surely ?
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:05,
archived)
We used to play a sort of basketball, wrestling football hybrid of it at sleepovers.Good times.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:06,
archived)
Crab water poloFor the drowning children win !
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:07,
archived)
You're as funny as you used to be.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:08,
archived)
Up your knickers.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:10,
archived)
the lady said i might be 18 but i did NOT look 21 so she had to ask.HAHAHA.
(
sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:14,
archived)
A common ploy used by sweaty teachers to look up children's PE shorts.(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:05,
archived)
I think you may be right"Pay attention class, I want you all to play Crab Football for an hour. Anyone who gets out of the crab position and stands up will be beaten with a cane. While you're all staggering around like cripples, I'll be outside smoking a pipe and reading a pornographic magazine. Carry on"
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:06,
archived)
I'll eat you in a minute !(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:05,
archived)
no you won't, you're just lying online, pulling a no handed online wheelie if you like to impress your matesbut you and me both know you'll end up wetting yourself in class and having to get your clean pants from the lost property basket, piss boy
(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:08,
archived)
No handed wheelies are so 2007All the cool kids are doing endo-headstands with 360 superman finish these days.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:10,
archived)
It's two teams of 11 playersall with pubic lice, kicking a ball around a field for 90 minutes.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:05,
archived)
It was wrongnessI wonder if it might have been invented to sort of level the playing feild so that you could have mixed teams of boys and girls.
Boys were too embarassed to be good at netball and girls are so shit at football that it's pointless playing either of those mixed.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:08,
archived)
I've never seen girls playing crab footballThat amount of thrust forth pundendae would have left an impression.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)
Not when you're 8You're all like "LOL GIRLS EWWWW"
Well, you were in the 70's, 8 year olds now are probably fisting each other and spit roasting the dinnerladies.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:11,
archived)
[insert supermatt reference here](
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:16,
archived)
Dodge ball was the best cubs game...actually burning stuff was the best.
(
BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:10,
archived)
We never did thatThe most fun I recall having was when Akela decided to pretend to drop dead to see what we would do. Go home, in my case.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)
Crabs are just sideways cunt spiders.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:08,
archived)
Ah, the greater banded cuntweb spiderIt's been a while since I've seen one.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:09,
archived)
That's because it is a hermit banded cuntweb spider(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:11,
archived)
They live in the urethra of QOTW posters.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:17,
archived)
Haha, your school couldn't afford enough balls for a decent game of dodgeball.(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:10,
archived)
LOL yesDodgeball is for gays.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:12,
archived)
That is not very good bullyingCould do better 4/10
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:12,
archived)
YOUR SCHOOL TIE IS RUBBISH AND YOUR UNIFORM MAKES YOU LOOK GAY(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:13,
archived)
Do you know how true that is?My school was a private grammar school in East London. Three big houses joined together and the uniform was a striped yellow, red & bright blue blazers, similar caps and straw boaters with a matching ribbon in the summer and no long trousers untill you were 14.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:15,
archived)
Its lucky you didnt turn out to be some mincing mary-queen(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:17,
archived)
I don't know what you're banging on about(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:15,
archived)
That's because you played Octopus Netball(
Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:21,
archived)
It was all nautilus curling when I were a lad.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26,
archived)
Morning. I watched The Great Escape for the firsttime ever last night. At times, Dicky Attenborough looks a bit like Simon Pegg in it.
I don't know how I'd managed to avoid that film for so long given it's on telly every other year.
What great films have you managed to miss? Films ending in 'II - The Klumps' score bonus points.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:57,
archived)
I saw The Ring for the first time last nightnot very scary at all.
Please feel free to make ring jokes in the space provided below, then kill yourself.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:59,
archived)
if you are a big fucking girl or a homo, it's a film, on a screen(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:01,
archived)
That's the one I saw(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:03,
archived)
I prefered the Grudge.Well, the Japanese version. Ju-On, is it?
I've got Gozu at home but I've still not seen it.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:02,
archived)
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:03,
archived)
YEAH YEAH EYEYEYEYEYEEYAH!I like japanese horror. Thend.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:05,
archived)
it's very fashionable for the retarded to like all japanese culture(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:06,
archived)
SIGN ME UP.Actually, not just Japan, I quite like some Korean cinema and other slopes.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:07,
archived)
A lot of Japanese people and institutions have fairly racist attitudes, which is surprisinggiven their apparent love of Western fashion and culture.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:09,
archived)
I've heard it's that good old fashioned, well meaning, ignorant racism.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:22,
archived)
i've never seen indiana jones, star wars, jaws, close encounters of the 3rd kind, the matrix, drop dead fred, gremlins, brewsters millions, the boys in blue, the golden child, carry on campingfuck off
(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:59,
archived)
Never seen Star Wars!? How mad!(nor have I)
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:02,
archived)
you know what captn, the sitcom spaced was the most over rated pile of shit i have ever had this mis fortune to see, simon pegg is an arseholeand as for black books, i'd rather watch something written by carla fucking lane
(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:03,
archived)
The Mrs likes Black Books.I'm a bit meh about it although there are a few good bits. Never seen Spaced.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:06,
archived)
I have seen every film ever made.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:01,
archived)
UP YOUR ARSE VADGE TONGUE.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:04,
archived)
You're just not funny any morethis is your worst post ever.
/jumps on bandwagon
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:05,
archived)
UP YOUR FUCKING JAPS HOLE.I watched Rashomon too. That was good.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:06,
archived)
YEAH.S'alright.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:08,
archived)
If you like that, trywww.imdb.com/title/tt0374546/
Don't read about it on IMDB first though. That'd ruin it.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:09,
archived)
It was a great film for making you realise how much of a cunt you can be,before trying to make you feel a bit better by having a baby at the end. It was like slicing your leg off and putting a plaster on it.
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:12,
archived)
Have you seen Short Circuit 2?I BET YOU FUCKING HAVEN'T
(
The Neville What what what, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:17,
archived)
TitanicNever seen it.
I've never seen Titanic 2 - The Klumps afloat either.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:02,
archived)
I like kittins and cuddils and wibble wobble jelly welly.And i wuv woo.
What do woo wuv?
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:13,
archived)
Pussy.edit: and my guitar. My guitar is ace.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:14,
archived)
I love... glassI love... carpet
I love lamp.
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:15,
archived)
Do you really love the lamp ?(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:20,
archived)
I love lamp...I... love lamp
(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:21,
archived)
Yes I knowI only watched it last week.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:45,
archived)
i watched it yesterday ^_^(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:46,
archived)
'glass' should be 'desk' i thinkalso, is your sig from futurama?
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:30,
archived)
Why yes, yes it is. I see you must like Futurama too.Would you like to talk about it for a bit?
/willwillwritenoreplies
(
Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:58,
archived)
In order.my cock
my Mrs
my studio
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:15,
archived)
Good morning, Captnhow's life treating you?
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:16,
archived)
Not bad.Just got in from working in that London all bastard night. Now sitting down to do my day job.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:18,
archived)
I'm off to work shortlyI'm going to knock on the doors of the unemployed, the unemployable, and the eccentric.
Then I'm going to the pub.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:20,
archived)
That's not a job, that's a hobby.(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:21,
archived)
It pays 14 quid for every person I sign upit's lucrative.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:22,
archived)
No such luckthere's been a few gorgeous women, but I'm not allowed to make sexual advances.
Dammit.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:28,
archived)
What's the worst that could happen?(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:29,
archived)
15 years for rapeseriously, you should see some of these girls
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:31,
archived)
My bed/Monday morning bitchings about being up and at work
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:16,
archived)
That's nothingcheck out the newsletter, some nutter took out a pigeon with a cricket ball.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:18,
archived)
I don't wuv job applications though.They want me to describe a time I had to make a difficult decision, and I can't think of a single example.
(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:19,
archived)
Tell them about the time you had to choose which member of your family the Nazis would shoot(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:33,
archived)
Tell them about the time you had to decide which difficult decision you'd describe for a job interview form.(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:41,
archived)
Just pick any of the times Batman had to save either Gotham City or Catwomanand write from the point of view of Batman.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:43, archived)
have you ever read a choose your own adventure book?talk about that
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:44,
archived)
My man,my family, my friends, my cats, music, film and rainbows.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:20,
archived)
Stick it up your fucking arse(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:20,
archived)
BeerHaving the window open
Reading and just having loads of books
Computer games
Pianos
Forests
Ruins
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:21,
archived)
at the moment,dominating my enemies with my electricity based superpowers
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:25,
archived)
*huggles*(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:29,
archived)
i'm not sure which i hate most, internet hugs or the shitty internet offers of buying someone something from the shop they are about to go toor you
(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:31,
archived)
Does oo need sum baconz?(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:33,
archived)
not really no, i don't eat meat, people who eat meat are souless, how on earth can you consider yourself a human being if you eat another creature with emotions(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:41,
archived)
But teh nommy nom nom bacons! :((
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:54,
archived)
I'm deleting these from my autocomplete as I go along.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:55,
archived)
oooh good one, that's as anoying as a teenage girl pretending she's a grown up(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:39,
archived)
They're not racist, you knowthey just tell the truth about Britain as it is. You can tell they're not racist, because the first thing any of their voters say when you find out they've voted BNP is "I'm not racist".
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:39,
archived)
"I'm not racist, but..."(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:40,
archived)
I'm not particularly worried about any of this.The BNP are a bunch of slackers
www.hopenothate.org.uk/the-real-bnp/BNP-councillors.php
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)
i love the bnp, without the likes of them life would be dull(
mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:52,
archived)
did you see we got that bnp supporter on offtopicto apologise for his political views and ask for suggestions for other parties to look into.
Epic win.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)
Anyone who supports the BNP is unlikely to have political views in the plural.The BNP can barely articulate their way past 'If you're white you're British, or something'.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)
Robomantis fuckdroidsburrowing into your fucking skull while you sleep.
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:28,
archived)
Cuddles and hugs are the best stress reliefBraniac did the research so I call it good SCIENCE as caravan destruction was involved at some point.
(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:28,
archived)
possibly your worst post ever BaldersMy team won this weekend, I'm quite happy.
(
GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:31,
archived)
well done team gmoshow did your particular fight go?
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:34,
archived)
His opponent was dumbstruck with lust(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:36,
archived)
i already postulated thusly:www.b3ta.com/talk/6201807
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:40,
archived)
I see...Well then, where do we go from here?
(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:42,
archived)
Is /talk better off fluffyor Spiky ?
Would we all really rather read stuff like "Hello everyone I wuv u all" than the current bile ?
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:46,
archived)
Go choke on your dads shitty cock(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:51,
archived)
Miss! Miss!I've only gotten one CD so far! And only you and Supermatt confirmed you received mine. Am I being punished for fucking up last year's burn?
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:52,
archived)
I think you're one of mineand if you are I'm sorry, the bloody wife hasn't printed the inlays yet.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:56,
archived)
At the risk of blatent pandering,from what I recall, you have a good taste in music. I look forward to your CD with freshly printed inlays.
(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:57,
archived)
It's a mixed bag, something (hopefully) for everyone.Thanks, also. Do you mean post metal and that? If so:
19th June 2009- The White Horse, High Wycombe- Battle of the Bands
My band's headlining. Not just playing last. No. HEADLINING.
We are just playing last.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:00,
archived)
By then everyone will be drunkyou will, like, totally storm the gig, dude.
*fives*
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:13,
archived)
Here's hoping....35 minute set, two songs. EPIC.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:16,
archived)
Nice!Don't let the drummer do a solo. Classic error.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:21,
archived)
He doesn't really do themhe's just shit hot all the way through. Seriously, he's a god.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:22,
archived)
You've got a good one, thendon't let him dribble on stage and you'll do fine.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:24,
archived)
Ah, it'll be funWe've got to be there at HALF FOUR to go on at HALF TEN.
What?
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:25,
archived)
Six hours of drinking time?This sounds like a dangerous thing.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:32,
archived)
Exactlyso I'm dragging the boys for food once we've soundchecked.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:35,
archived)
Do you need an extra guitarist?I'm crap, but amusing.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:41,
archived)
We've already got two, chap :D(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:42,
archived)
CoolI'd only have cluttered the stage with my pedal collection.
(
wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:49,
archived)
:Ddon't mention pedals, they're all being very difficult at the moment.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:53,
archived)
We need more bass solos(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:22,
archived)
NO WE DON'TIt's hard enough getting on stage as it is, what with my wussism.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:23,
archived)
Morning captainUnfortunately I won't be able to make that date as it's when I move into the new abode :(
Anyway, enough about my living arrangements. How are you today? Had a good weekend?
(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:22,
archived)
Ah, fair enough dudeMy weekend was lovely- you?
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:22,
archived)
Not badFilled with buying electricals, furniture and the like.
(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:24,
archived)
If I weren't moving lots of stuff over that weekend I'd have been thereI shall strive to be at the next one!
(
Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:50,
archived)
They have til 18 June to send them, remember.If you've not received anything by the end of June, I'm going to start fucking peoples shit up.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:01,
archived)
Oh fiddlesticks. I want my SeeDees!(
Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:05,
archived)
I'm the kind of bad person who hasn't sent out my CDs yet.It's all on a to-do list. Honest.
(
Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:06,
archived)
Even I've done mineand I'm bone fucking idle.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:07,
archived)
Hahaha!The search for suralans apprentice continues...
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:48,
archived)
GO FUCK YOURSELF GWFUCK YOURSELF AND MAIL YOU TO MUMMY
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:48,
archived)
Bile's goodBut I only pretend to be bilious as I am naturally lovely. Hello.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:49, archived)
*snuggy cuddils*(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:49,
archived)
I'd vomit if I had to read that all day(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:51,
archived)
Dudethat's actually gross.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:53,
archived)
Awww is Lord Snugglington upset?Have a huggle, you little charmer you
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:00,
archived)
If we go fluffy can we still call Bogus an old cunt?(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:52,
archived)
How aboutwe just dont go fluffy and call everyone a cunt ?
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:52,
archived)
Thanks*rapes kitten*
*eats kitten*
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:54,
archived)
Spiky's funnier.I made an amazing sandwich yesterday and now I feel like shit. Hello.
Nice spiky, though. Like an echindna or something. I'm all for being called a wanker but it can get mighty personal round here.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:52,
archived)
HELLOI am amazed by your sandwich, yesterday I made sausage and mash with onion, thyme and cider gravy as well as chocolate chip cookies.
Today I am making shit up, online, in an effort to make girls fancy me.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:54,
archived)
I heard that goatworrier has a 12 inch penisand a mechanical tongue
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:55,
archived)
Actually I have a 12 inch tongueand a mechanical penis.
It's called "R2D2"
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:56,
archived)
There was also sausage in the sandwich. SURELY this is a sign.Good morning senor.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:55,
archived)
It's working on me.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:56,
archived)
Its working on me tooI've just painted my fingernails and had three wanks.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:58,
archived)
Bristly.If you go for a drink with your mates, you take the piss. But you do it as mates.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:53,
archived)
And generallythey're your mates and not just internet people who don't even actually exist.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:02,
archived)
I just don't get why people can't mix nice with funny,there are some really nasty and spiteful things that get posted here. When it's for a laugh it's hilarious but otherwise it's not.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)
I think you'll find that 99% of people here have never reached hilariousReached for their inhalers perhaps, but not hilarious
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:55,
archived)
some of them are though and you can tell they're just joking.Other's just act nasty for the sake of it. Maybe it's just cos I'm me but I don't like it when stuff gets personal.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:57, archived)
You would say that,convict.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:01,
archived)
shes a muffdiving convict to bootlesboprisoners vol 6 was her first 'outing'
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:03,
archived)
The nastiness doesn't bother meThe repetitiveness of some of it does.
(
Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:56,
archived)
It's become that way by natural selectionFunny and nice ? Victimless comedy ? Fuck off, you know what that gets you ? Joe Pasquale and the chuckle brothers.
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:57,
archived)
... Eddie Izzard, Bill Bailey, Ross Noble...whereas for spiky you have everything from Derek and Clive to Bernard Manning.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:01,
archived)
Dave Spikey?Come and get your black bin bags
On offer till December...
*to the tune of Men in Black*
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:02,
archived)
I think we should all be arbitrarily assigned a number and have to change our username to it and not be allowed to reveal our identities to each other.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:57,
archived)
Yeahgreat idea
Awesome.
What ?
(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:59,
archived)
SILENCE USER 38(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:08,
archived)
Who are you?The new Number 2.
Who is Number 1?
You are Number 6.
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:02,
archived)
I don't care what number I am so long as it's 8.(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:03,
archived)
Exactly, I'm one fat ladyplus it's my favourite number.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:04,
archived)
Hang aboutyou're either fat or you aren't.
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:07,
archived)
I'm all fatexcept my eyes
(
Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:13,
archived)
I'm having a fat daythe previously aforementioned sandwich. I feel like a balloon in a skirt.
(
Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:12,
archived)
I'm three ducks in a man suit.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:14,
archived)
Anyone who writes "wuv" or "srsly" deserves to die.(
Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 9:07,
archived)
Xenophobes in Yorkshire then?Who'd have thought it?
Anyway, Morning Poo -
Small but well formed trouts, surprisingly high on odour and wipeage.
7/10
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:27,
archived)
MORNINGAHAHAHAHAHA
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:29,
archived)
Stop mocking my bowel motions.:(
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:32,
archived)
In other news, is this the most pathetic QOTW story of the week?I bet he's REALLY interesting to chat to.
www.b3ta.com/questions/festivals/post442020
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:33,
archived)
Marvellous.I haven't slept.
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:40,
archived)
Read QOTW.It's full of many exciting Drug Stories that will while away the long sleepless hours.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:41,
archived)
aren't you just the friendliest and nicest badger there ever was?who really cares whether or not he's interesting? he posts. It's a contribution. A crap one maybe but he's still contributing *something* to the site. No offence but I never see you say nice things about qotw answers, just snide and nasty remarks. If you don't like what you read - why can't you just click ignore and move on?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:41, archived)
Why bother to 'contribute'.....if you have NOTHING ro contribute?
I'm making some of these tales at least 8000 times better y taking the piss out of them.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:42,
archived)
If he had nothing to contribute - he wouldn't have posted.So by that logic - he obviously thinks he *does* have something to contribute. Yeah you may be funny by taking the piss out of everything but I bet you wouldn't like it if somebody did that to you, continually, without giving you a chance.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:44, archived)
Nature's one step ahead of them there.(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:45,
archived)
He doesn't though, beyond saying 'I've taken drugs me'.And? then what?
The whole point of QOTW is to produce amusing and/or thoughtful tales, not be a platform for tedious drugs bores and the terminally attention deprived.
AND I'm enough of a grown up not to get upset if someone takes the piss.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:47,
archived)
well he's allowed, just as you're allowed to poke fun at it.It doesn't matter how grown up you are or not - sometimes you'll still get upset. For example, this bothers me - I don't like seeing people having a go at or about other people, just because they can, for a cheap laugh. It strikes me as nasty and pointless.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:51, archived)
I suspect that if he's enough of a dullard to think that posting 'I've taken drugs'.....will amuse, then he's probably thick skinned enough to not pay attention to some piss-taking bastard on the internet.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:54,
archived)
maybe, maybe not.you don't and can't know for sure so why be nasty in the first place?
/wishes everybody could just get along and be happy
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:56, archived)
Is it that time of the month again ?(
Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:44,
archived)
You seem to get incredibly upset quite easily.Are you a QOTW user that's come to say hello to /talk?
(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:56,
archived)
She'll be offering to vector her pants next.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:57,
archived)
I'm not incredibly upsetjust a smidge annoyed. Yes - I generally post on QOTW and OT but have been on here for the last few weeks.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:57, archived)
Where as my story is as high-browed as it gets.207.44.242.20/questions/festivals/post440794
(
BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:55,
archived)
Butcher's apostrophe you fucking cunt.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:56,
archived)
Awesome story there.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:56,
archived)
DEAR INTERNET USERThank you for bringing this to my URGENT ATTENTION.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:49, archived)
Not since 1996, I'll have you know.Therefore, this Yorkshire and Humberside region of which they speak of is clearly a null and void result, in which case the BNP cannot be elected to the EP.
VICTORY.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:05, archived)
Awwwwwwwwww what a shame.He had kind eyes too.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:11,
archived)
I think one of their policies is (or at least was)the restoration of Traditional Olde English areas for governmental purposes. Rutland and so on. I remember this because a Welsh friend of mine told a canvasser he'd vote for them if they promised to restore Welsh borders up north to Carlisle and out east to Worcester.
(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:15,
archived)
Green and sloppy, no corn.Smells like one of the 'shower rooms' in Auchwitz crossed with a tank of rotting meat. Still moving in the pan, will flush later. Photo's to come.
(
Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:10,
archived)
As a fat, ill-educated Yorkshireman, I would like to say I didn't vote BNPOr UKIP.
DON'T HATE US ALL
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:24,
archived)
It's Le Pen all the way for you, isn't it?(
Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:28,
archived)
ALWEYS IN ARE HARTSWIV DA ANGELS NAO (not the black ones though)
(
Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:30,
archived)
ring ring..er - hello??
Rise and shine poppets. :)
what's on for breakfast? I had toast with nutella.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 6:04, archived)
Bacon sandwichif I get to work before the bread goes hard
(
brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 6:11,
archived)
have never had a bacon sandwich.tip to stop bread going hard, wrap it in damp cloth. :)
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 6:18, archived)
bugger all for breakfast as I am off to bed in a bit.(
Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:02,
archived)
Nothing, as I am going to a clinic for tests.Long story short: Medical testing, £2000
(
WHARRGARBL, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:19,
archived)
Have you brought a extra big hat?For your soon to be swollen head.
(
BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:25,
archived)
I had some of that onceIt was advertised as involving 'some discomfort'
They weren't kidding.
The real pain though came from the boredom.
(
WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:25,
archived)
Everyone has been saying similar things to that.All I'm bothered about is the money. £2,000 is my entire year's basic rent.
(
WHARRGARBL, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:28,
archived)
Let me know how it goesI've always wondered if it was worth it.
(
spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:34,
archived)
DEAR INTERNET USERI am more concerned about the INTERNET LEGAL issues raised by the last thread.
Pushing it down the board could be construed as PREVENTING ACCESS TO ONLINE JUSTICE.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:22, archived)
He's our tosspotAnd thats the important thing
(
Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 8:12,
archived)
Toast with a liberal spreading of PAIN.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 7:25,
archived)
b3ta.com/talkbegin talk log:
test one two three
hello
welcome to www.b3ta.com/talk
i am the admin my name is doctor dyslexia
here are the rules for b3ta.com/talk:
be polite - nobody wants to get picked on here this is a peaceful board
don't swear or cuss - this is an all ages bored and some people can easily be offended by foul language
no dirty pictures - on b3ta.com/talk we do not share dirty pictures as they can easily be seen by underage users
no hacking - hacking is against the rules remember CHEATERS NEVER WIN
talk - b3ta.com/talk is a talking message board so remember to talk if you are not found talking you will be banned
have respect for your fellow user
no arguments - you are allowed to have debates or discussions but no arguments
if you are found breaking any of the rules for b3ta.com/talk then you will be banned
first you will be given a warning ban and you will be allowed to post again after a week then if you get banned again then you are banned forever and you will not be allowed on this website ever again
www.b3ta.com/talk is a fun place to hang out and just talk!
you can talk about anything you want!!!
really!!
just remember to follow the rules and have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
end talk log
(
d d, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:32,
archived)
NEVER give out your personal information or credit card number online !!!!!!!!(
d d, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:46,
archived)
ru on msn cam sexy(
Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 5:12,
archived)
just so there is no confusion, you will be banned if you are found using any other the following words:piss
shit
fuck
tits
twat
cunt
dick
ass
manburger
fucktwat
cuntberry
assicle
fucker
motherfucker
motherfuck
shitfuck
fuckshit
wank
pee
pee pee
fuck a dog
shit for dick
hell
damn
cock
cocksuck
cocksucker
cocksuckering
dildo
fuckburger
wang
wanker
wanked
handjob
blowjo
blowjob
fuckjob
assjob
wangjob
cocksuckerjob
shitjob
two girls one cup
meatspin
goatse
puke on my dick bitch
oh yeah baby
huhughulgaulgualga
bong
weed
beer
dickweed
dickbeer
(
d d, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:40,
archived)
if that's the case you need to ban yourself immediately for using all those terrible bad words.Go on.
with love and fluffles.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:46, archived)
Oh noes! I'm being bullied online! wah wah wah wah wahthis is DREADFUL.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:48, archived)
hi! my name is doctor dyslexia but you can call me james!how are you! what do you want to talk about?
(
d d, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:46,
archived)
and female. And not called James.Although one of my oldest mates is a James. I call him Jimmy or JimJam. He's well lovely. Are you well lovely?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:54, archived)
then you must not be pablo picassobecause he was never called an asshole.
(
Shiksa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:59,
archived)
some people try to pick up women and get called assholes.This never happened to Pablo Picasso.
(
Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 5:14,
archived)
I want to talk about the one time this kid burned my neckI didn't like it
(
Shiksa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:54,
archived)
would you have liked it if he'd tied a rope around it instead and had *funtime* with you?I bet you would have you saucy minx.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:56, archived)
ok let's not talk about that, overused meme is overusedI'll talk about how mango Smirnoff Ice is really tasty, but a little too sweet, as are most alcopops.
(
Shiksa, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 4:56,
archived)
mine is Absolut, by the litre.fucking premixes are all shite.
(
Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 5:56,
archived)
hence my preference for beer if I can get itor gin.
Love my gin and tonics.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 6:03, archived)
huzzah!I used to be a gin drinker. I have no idea why I stopped.
(
Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 6:15,
archived)
don't know who's around.just thought I'd drop by and say hi.
so erm. Hi.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 2:40, archived)
I don't think I've ever been referred to as "fluffy" on here.Yet alone a fluffy cunt.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 2:55,
archived)
as per usual I was just trying to be nice. You've not done anything to me.I'll stop if you like.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:00, archived)
I'm just used to have people with male breasts, or grown men with flop sweat call me bald all day long.It's a nice change.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:01,
archived)
well I'm not male.so nothing to fear from here. having not met you - cannot legitimately call you bald.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:03, archived)
What a refreshing change to the b3ta norm.If you were male you'd have no doubt fallen out with me by now.
In fact, there's probably some poor bloke sat in a bedsit watching this conversation eating fistfulls of 'Frosties' and preparing a scathing anti-JMG remark.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:05,
archived)
/googles "Frosties"Well that's his choice. My choice is be nice until given a really good reason to be otherwise.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:06, archived)
You'll never find a real reason.I'm JMG. People's hero and all round good egg.
(
Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:07,
archived)
good for you.I'm vamp. resident hugger and fluff giver as well as being a bit too nice.
Any mean comments will be denoted with "love and fluffles" unless I mean them to be nasty.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:09, archived)
I like eggs by the waythey're all of the nom. chocolate or otherwise.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:13, archived)
*sweats profusely**gets frosties crumbs between my moobs*
You're so dole that I once saw you steal a cat to try to fashoin it into a sofa (for the bedsit you live in with your mum) and a toupee (for your horrifically bald head).
Yeah! Hah! Take that JMG!
*cries into my grubby chins*
/TFD
(
Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:13,
archived)
What? Yes? Hello young lady.I'm off to bed now pretty much. How are you?
/The Furry Dinosaur
(
Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:17,
archived)
I is well thank you.say hi to az and tell him to get that zombie picture done, could you? :(
Have a good snooooze. wish I was able to snooze. but no. am multitasking. B3ta and study!
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:20, archived)
Jolly good.He's a maximum snoozy creature at the moment but I will poke him about zombification in t'morning.
Top tips: studying will probably go faster if you weren't on b3ta, snoozing is good, I would highly recommend it.
And with that, goodnight!
/TFD
(
Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:23,
archived)
I know I know...... /poutsjust need to have something to laugh at. I know all the stuff it's just going over it all again and again and again. it's driving me mental.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:25, archived)
I downloaded Blackadder yesterday and am watching that.It's quite good for the odd laugh.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:31, archived)
am so tempted.I love that stuff. might go watch monty python later.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:34, archived)
I'm going to bed.Work tomorrow and all that.
Good luck with the thread and your exams.
(
JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 2:45,
archived)
So-so.I might have food poisoning from eating leftover BBQ sausages. Things are certainly a bit iffy. Going to bed seems a little risky at the moment, so I'm going to stay up and drink leftover vodka instead.
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 2:58, archived)
take a bucket to bed.or alternately, lie by the toilet all night, just in case. I've never had food poisoning though so i'm not sure of the norm in this situation. :P
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 2:59, archived)
I just did a little sick in my mouth.This seems like a bad sign.
*fetches bucket*
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:18, archived)
yeah not a good sign at all.do you have any anti-emetic drugs like Maxolon?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:21, archived)
i was watching some 'horror' on sliverwhatever.comturns out you have to pay to the the rest of the film
fucking twats
it wasn't even that good
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:21, archived)
yes pleaseor just convince them with your vamp charms
copyright is rubbish
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:24, archived)
Charms? what charms?I was just thinking of waltzing in and asking nicely and if they didn't I was going to drain their throats.
oh. I see what you mean..
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:27, archived)
hahafuckit i'll just watch 'Puzzle of a Downfall Child' on uboob
bruce la bruce recommended it
edit: have you met kristine ? we are both 'True Blood' retards and have 6 days to our next orgasm
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:28, archived)
uboob?stay away from my boobies. they're not big enough for the silver screen! edit - no have not. have seen her around though. is she scary?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:32, archived)
i'm quite sure i'd leave your boobies aloneyou being a vampyre and everything
edit: no she is wonderful
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:38, archived)
and taken./beams.
edit - really? Hope I get to meet her then. :) What's "true blood"?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:40, archived)
nice oneand good luck with the exams.. i'm off to watch dunawaye be mad sexy and riotus
yank tv show about vampires.. awesome
ok i'm really going now ;)
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:43, archived)
thanks mate.I've better shut this damn laptop off otherwise I'll not get anything done! talk later. :)
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 3:44, archived)
FFS third time today fire trucks just turned upkids setting the bins on fire.. yawn
what was the last thing you burnt?
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:26, archived)
My armsand my face.
Sunburn though, so not too bad
(
Jinxy13 is hating the S key, right about now., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:28,
archived)
Little pricks.Hmm, just some scrap wood, etc
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:31,
archived)
little pricks is my favourite thing to say to teenagesit pushes all their buttons
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:34, archived)
The word barbecue was given to the English language by a wonderful real life pirate; William Dampier.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:41,
archived)
anne bonny gave the english language the word 'gash'originally meaning 'a right sob after killing a fellow cuntry man'
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:48, archived)
I pronounce scone in a betterway than you.Just a thught.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:57,
archived)
I spell thought better than you.Just a scone.
(
Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:57,
archived)
Maybe he meant "Just a thug".Thugs like scones too.
(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 0:59,
archived)
I'll miss you.:(
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:00,
archived)
Shut up, The Forum is on the World Service now.It's deliciously pretentious and the lady presenter has a right sexy voice.
(
ArthurTheRat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:00,
archived)
a civil war should be fought over the pronouncication of sconei believe this seperates us all and otherwise we would be brothers and hug lots
(, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:02, archived)
3 +3 = whore mouth wee(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:12,
archived)
All of the teatime treats I've spread with butter and jam
Over the years they have made me the person I am
I've eaten such a lot of 'em
They are scone but not forgotten
(
vladimir, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:12,
archived)
i heard you say 'scone' onceit was too shrill for my liking, although i liked the way you soiled yourself on the last syllable.
(
scott,, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 1:21,
archived)
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