b3ta.com talk

Home » Talk » Archive 11507 (Older | Newer)

marital status?
GO!
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

Engaged

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

SNAP!
I win.
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

How do you win?
Surely we're both winners here...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

I said snap first!

(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:43, archived)

Married to Jesus.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

What is he like in bed?

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

You know women have three holes you can stick your willy in?
Well... due to the crucifixion...
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

WOW.
He has five additional holes.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

Woo for stigmata sex!

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

*clicks*

(

MrA, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

randy

(

MrA, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

SINGLE!
DATE ME!
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

SINGLE!
*Shuffles closer*
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

*fwap*

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

WHY WOULD YOU CARE?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

staunchly against

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

Abstinent eh?

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

no, just someone who believes in strong happy healthy relationships
rather than two people living together because of a business contract.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

Geez, whatever!
Marriage sucks an' all that, I get it.
(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

Load your own profile
stare at it, hard, for at least a minute.
Then really think hard before making disparaging comments to anyone else ever again.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:39, archived)

Marry me!

(

The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:47, archived)

i'm not sure my current status is of any interest to forum users who don't know it already, no offence
great stuff
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

great forum

(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:38, archived)

hello friend, great to see you, or not, no offence
great times
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:44, archived)

You're single.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

Single for the first time in three and a half years
Bloody loving it too.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

Will fuck for food.

(

Druid, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

I'm always ready for combat.
Oh, marital? long term girlfriend.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

ninja

(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

Disengaged

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

you went on a honeymoon with Gordie LaForge?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

I don't know who that is
yes, dear.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

In a relationship/dating/random play/it's complicated.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

/working her way though italy/france/europe

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

It's been almost a year since I've been up to any sort of European shenanigan.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

or had any sort of European shenanigan up you?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:35, archived)

Best of British only.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:39, archived)

so the lowest dregs of humanity, then
classy.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:42, archived)

'not
doing THAT again'
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

engaged
to be married in September
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

Married
therefore celibate
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

Facebook Pirate (EN)
Calls it "Marooned". I don't recall anyone tipping a pot of paint over me.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:31, archived)

I thought being marooned was being tossed off on an island.
Oh if only....
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:34, archived)

Chance, it seems, would be a bloody fine thing.

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:38, archived)

Drunk

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

not

(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:37, archived)

Our (immediate) boss has let it be known that he doesn't like being addressed as 'boss'
'guv'nor', 'leader', 'head honcho', 'big cheese' or 'Generalissimo'.

I plan to run into the meeting room and drop to one knee, eyes downward, while proferring up my closed fist covered with my other hand and yell 'Dai-Lo!' and await instructions.

It would have gone down a bomb in feudal 16th century China.

How is your boss trying to be 'your friend' these days?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

She asked me if id finger her in the stationary cupboard

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

I'd insert my entire fist and shout 'Supplies!'

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

My last boss asked my girlfriend out while we were together.
She said no, but I never got made supervisor :(
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

fail to see how this ingratiates him with you
in his eyes.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

It didn't.
Sorry, do I have to follow instructions in threads to the letter?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

He kicked me up the arse a few months back.
He bought me wine for my birthday.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

I hope that was a metaphorical
kick up the arse.

Congratumalations on the nuptials, by the way :-)
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

No
a physical kick up the arse.

We're not wed yet! Calm it! Not til next October.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:29, archived)

a) ooh fuckinell. It had better be
the kind of wine that de-fuses a potential tribunal

and

b) huzzah anyway.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

my boss shouted at me and called me a smirking cunt on thursday, i took no offence, i think he maybe having a breakdown, no offence
great times
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

were you
smirking a fag?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

forum banter
cool
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

He doesn't try to be anything
He's ace, my boss is.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

he knows your b3ta ID then
I take it ...
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

He is aware of the site, but not my ID
That's a closely guarded secret only one person in my building knows- fellow b3tan musuko.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:32, archived)

I don't have a boss.
*fives*
(

WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

I dont know
I have about 9 bosses. They tend to get reorganized a fair bit, a process I like to call prodding the cloud.
(

MrA, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:26, archived)

By not booking too many appintments in for me so i'm in a good mood
Then asking if I will work on Sunday.

Her plan is failing.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

by sleeping in the same bed

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:27, archived)

He's too busy to deal with the likes of me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

Congratulating me on being offered a job elsewhere

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

suzi perry back on the gadget show - right now on CH5
*this has been a TBL "for uber geeks" announcement*

there is no question.
(

TBL I posted this on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

The Gadget show isn't very good.
Gail Porter's shiney head offends me.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

she is gone
and Suzi is back

*dribbles*
(

TBL I posted this on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:05, archived)

Suzi perry is only fit when she's in motorbike leathers.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

you like 'em
friction proof eh?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

But even I look better with my bike jacket on
Therefore your argument is flawed.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

is she Hawt?
I might be considered a geek by some but I'm not watching a gadget show unless she's hawt.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:06, archived)

She has a very nice pair of legs, I will say that.
But for the life of me I can't understand why I fancy the pants off Kirstie Allsop.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:07, archived)

you fancy a girl?

PISTON FANCIES A GIRL
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

Well, yes
This may be surprising to some but I am actually human.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:09, archived)

are you calling gays inhuman?
you fucking monster.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:30, archived)

Because you want to put your winky into a fat tory bint

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

She's not that fat
But she is very very posh.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

Fair enough
she's dumpy. A dumpy tory bint.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

Never really bothered by a person's political affiliation
Unless they vote BNP. Mind you, talking them into contradicting themselves and then watching them getting into a fluster does raise a few giggles down the pub.
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

S'all about the posh birds though

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

Oh yes!

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

Super, what what!
Spiffing.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

Kirstie Allsop
Would.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

Because she is ace

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:11, archived)

She'll be first up against the wall
come the revolution.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

But she's lovely

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

You're wrong
OK?
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

because she's got tits and a cunt

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

Aye but I bet she goes like a freight train.

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:16, archived)

She's certainly carrying plenty

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

slowly, in the night, when no-one's watching
with a long ominous rumble that wakes the neighbour's dog?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

I think that's about the top and bottom of it, yes.

(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

Hahahaha

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

I love you

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:19, archived)

www.suziperry.com/gallery/index.html
(

TBL I posted this on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:08, archived)

Looks like an aristo to me
and yet with a name like a chavette. Conflict....
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

Yeah great.
This has no relevance to me, being female and not giving a fuck about gadgets.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:10, archived)

This has no relevance to me
being male and quite liking gadgets.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

*irrelevant FIVES*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:13, archived)

*not watching shit telly TENS*

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

nerve pain channel blocking
?
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:15, archived)

*mum's dad's sister ELEVENS*

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

*amputee ONES*

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

It's a ring toss game...
www.manhuntshop.com/anal-ring-toss_789.html

NSFW.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:24, archived)

thank you for that information, i won't be watching the above tv show and this is no way a slight to you, ms perry or channel 5 or the production company and it's employees, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:14, archived)

Mongy how long will this last?
No offence.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:25, archived)

not really sure, sorry, no offence
ok
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:28, archived)

oh god, my handwriting looks like my dad's
I wonder what else looks like my dad's.

shit.
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:17, archived)

My handwriting is ace.
It's proper scruffy and great.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

so is my dad's

DAD?
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:20, archived)

SON

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

TEACH ME HOW TO SHAVE

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:22, archived)

you may look a bit like your dad, or not, pehaps the person you call 'dad' is not genetically your actual father, i wouldn't know, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:21, archived)

Excellent
I couldn't stand the shiney headed one
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:18, archived)

Can anyone tell me what these people are saying about my kitten skittles video?
dwn.blog51.fc2.com/blog-entry-1990.html
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:59, archived)

No, I'm too busy listening to Tim Minchins "inflatable you".
www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6raVzrbqrM&feature=related
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

Did you know
that
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

I must say I did not.
Doesn't surprise me he was a woman though.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

Recipe -
1 clove garlic
kittens
etc.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

Certainly
It says 'Baldmonkey is a cat legged egg hater'
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

babelfish said it says "The cat which charges. Sponsor drink "

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:01, archived)

It says "no".

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:00, archived)

they're saying you've got Downs syndrome you fat fool

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:02, archived)

Yeah, sure
It says "さながら四次元ポケットですね"
(

jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

CHING CHONG WING WONG

(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 18 May 2009, 20:12, archived)

JMG etc.
My day is being held up by a lack of PSU.
Tonight my trouble is not with you fat wordwarriors, but with technology.

I really can't think of an appropriate question, I'm just having a 10 minute sit down.
So yeah.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

don't get a cheap one.
that is my advice.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

It's not that important.
I'm just re-building a PC I used to have before this one out of absolute boredom.
No football, see?

I forgot the only PSU I have was fried.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

I've got a few old ones knocking about I'd be glad to get rid of,
if it only needs a 20-pin motherboard power cable.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

Yup.. It's a 20-pin.
I'll just harass local offline people for an old PC.
Take one from there.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

ok,
but if you draw a blank, gaz me and I'll stick one in the post.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

SHE WANTS YOUR ADDRESS JMG
BEWARE
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:17, archived)

i feel this was the cause of my pc fire, or maybe it wasn't, no offence to the manufactuer of my cheep psu
cool
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

a small box full of feathers and birdshit is always a risk in electronic equipment

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

i done another picture
www.doink.com/clips/SpaceWizard/340884
(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

OH FRIZ!
I can't wait for him to be famous.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

HILARITY

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

I DUNNO WHERE I GET MY IDEAS, IM SO RANDOM

(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

is it all that's preventing the completion of the WoWPOD2000 hermetically sealed nerd tube?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

You won't believe the amount of angry EMails I've recieved from people I'll never meet, in my clan.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

Ashes to Ashes tonight
Is it me or is DI Drake looking sexier week by week?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

She looks like she should fuck off and let john simms do it in a wig

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

^This.
She's possibly one of the most annoying people on TV.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

I'm having to install a second iTunes to do my randomburns.
Bah.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:08, archived)

My brother's girlfriend's sister has just sent me a picture of her boobies.
It's all go here.
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

*battens the hatches*

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:09, archived)

As an internet user, this has greatly offended me.
img31.imageshack.us/img31/3397/replyingtoagirl.jpg
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

is that you crying?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:19, archived)

...WHY?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

Solicited?

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:16, archived)

it only cost £1.49 plus standard rate SMS

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:20, archived)

Well, you would know.

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:22, archived)

I'm not sure I would ever send my brother's girlfriend's brother a photo of my testicles
even if I had drawn pirate faces on them
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:24, archived)

My computer is having a tizz
So I can't watch Dirty Sexy Money and my stupid tv didn't record it last night *huffs*
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

4OD

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

8OD

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:19, archived)

16OD

(

Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:22, archived)

He dies.

(

WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:35, archived)

I might go and watch the game
dunno.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

I don't care for them.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:52, archived)

Can't be arsed
here's hoping they get proper beat, though.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:59, archived)

God help me. I don't know what a PSU is.
And I just did EXERCISE.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:46, archived)

As a bus driver there are obvious hazzards of the job
(like hitting other cars and running late).

So I was wondering, what are the main hazzards of your job?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:57, archived)

Boss Hogg

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:58, archived)

ha ha ha

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

*brings back fond memories*
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Trying not to hit one of the snobby cunts I work for

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:58, archived)

Heavy lifting, forklifts, incorrectly built/stacked pallets, knives/glass/sharp stuff.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:58, archived)

Trying not to hit the stupid fat lass who works me.
Puts one totally orf one's Polo game.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:00, archived)

she works you, eh?
eh, eh?
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Sometimes I worry that I'm going to get a splinter, cos I do all my annotating in pencil.

(

Comma, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:00, archived)

getting The Gush

(

scott,, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:00, archived)

It's a bugger that.
First it goes red, then it goes black :(
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Have you tried destimulating yourself with a dog carcass?

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

melancholy

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

awwwwwwww
:(
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

They key is to not let the crushing depression make you take a knife to your wrists

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

I've managed that so far.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

Getting caught goofing off on the internet
and pesticides and solvents
(

setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

Sunburn

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:01, archived)

i really couldn't say, no offence, there could be many if a correct risk assesments and method statements were not carried out, that would probably make me the hazzard to myself, possibly, or not, no offence
great stuff
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

I WANT FAST FUCKING FOOD BUT THE PIZZA HUT SITE ISN'T WORKING, DOMINOS TASTES LIKE SHIT
AND I HAVE NO CASH TO PAY ON DELIVERY, SO MY CHOICE IS LIMITED TO THOSE TWO.

*throws toys out of pram*
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

www.papajohns.co.uk/
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

www.snappytomatopizza.co.uk/
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

www.hugeblackcocks.com
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

Er it seems that actually exists so NSFW
Awooga awooga!
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Not in the delivery area.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

Are Papa Johns decent?
There's one of those in the place we are staying at on holiday.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:04, archived)

there's one on the road into town,
and a Dominos, and a Pizza Hut. I've never been into any of them.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

papa johns?

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

You can pay by card for pretty much any restaurant on just eat

(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

there's only 4 places that it comes up with for here,
none of them what I'd call edible.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

and you call pizza hut edible,
so they must be pretty bad.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

We've already discussed how you're wrong about this in the past.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

We did indeed,
and you lost, as usual, because you're shit.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

You lost.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:12, archived)

ha ha,
yeah right
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:14, archived)

and there's you, sat there with no phone and no Yellow Pages?
cry harder until your carer hears you
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:06, archived)

Yes.
I want to pay by card you moron.

Can you not read?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:07, archived)

So phone and ask if they take cards...

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:10, archived)

If I hadn't done that in the past and had no luck, I'd say that was a good idea.
As it is, you're a retard.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 19:11, archived)

sit there sobbing then
I'm sure a battalion of internet sympathy reinforcements will be airlifted in shortly
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:43, archived)

You fat fucking mess

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:13, archived)

None really.
Being a trainee is great.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:02, archived)

nitrogen asphyiaxtion
liver damage
cancer
general explosion
neurological damage
possibly a bit of spongiform encephalitis, hepatitis at a push
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:03, archived)

Still making those children's toys, then?

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:05, archived)

Sunburn
and the shits
(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:15, archived)

putting your signature on something
then later on finding it was a no-no and you are being sued for eleventy million thousand dollars because you said it would be alright.

Secondary hazards include stoving into a fucking brick wall at 150mph.
(

Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 18 May 2009, 20:03, archived)

I'm thinking of booking a cheap flight somewhere
but WHERE?
Let's...ASK THE INTERNET.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

Zanzibar

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

Been there
too many blacks.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

I just like the name.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

sounds like pink chocolate

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

It's an amazing place

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

Like, totally amazing
literally.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:50, archived)

~~too many~~ not enough s cocks
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

Morrocco.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:06, archived)

I might act on this information
mint tea and fine hashish.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

Look
what Biff just did
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Clicked :)
That's rather woo is that.
(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

*wobble*
(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 18 May 2009, 19:38, archived)

Swindon
www.flightstats.com/go/Airport/airportDetails.do?airportCode=SWI
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

Haha. Their departures board is a bit blank lol

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

That's because once people have seen Swindon they want to stay forever and never leave.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

I heard that the park benches are made of velvet & have built in plasma tv's

(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

pluto

(

Lightguy hail satan, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:07, archived)

Ryanair fly there
Well, you actually land on Neptune and have to get a coach.
/here all week, the veal's lovely
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

I thought Pluto was a cartoon character

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

No,
it's the Roman God of the Underworld.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

And Neptune's not a planet, he's a b3ta poster.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

I have one to Ireland this weekend if you want it.
You'll have to change your name, and you'll be walking everywhere because they have ran out of hire cars.

/Still angry.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

More sensible answer: fly to Pisa and jump on a train to Florence.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

on

under
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

Inverness

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:08, archived)

I bet Inverness is really beautiful

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

Bristol.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

Bristol is poo.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

I live here. And it's named after tits.
What's not to like?
(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

You have two very good points.

(

Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

Her words make sense too.
*badum tish*
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

It's named after tits?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

*Bangs head on desk*

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

If you do that everytime she says something stupid
your desk will soon be a patch of laminate flooring.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

*googles*
Oh. Well I don't speak rhyming slang!
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

I thought you lived in France

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

Me? No.

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

You live in Brest?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:31, archived)

I dunno, but there has been excitement outside my house
Police car driving around with it's siren blaring as a police man is on foot chasing a dodgy looking youth. *nosies out the window*

Sadly that's the only excitement I shall get today though.
(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

True dat

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

We have had numerous police cars, vans and now the crime scene guys across the road.
The guy who sublets Tegans mums brothers flat (complex lol) killed himself on Saturday morning. He was just found today after his music playing for 2 days solid. The neighbours phoned the police and complained and they found him.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

Ooh that's horrible

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

It is a bit.
I didn't know him like, apparently he was fine enough.
It's all over some married woman he was having an affair with, he left his wife and kid, she was meant to leave her husband. Strung him along for ages, split up, back together etc etc.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

So the moral here is, women are bastards?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:37, archived)

Agreed.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

Watch it

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

Stop being a bastard.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

I'll have you know that I am being perfectly lovely

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:43, archived)

Uh huh,

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

Shes awful
Really mean
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

I'd say.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:47, archived)

Now who is being a bastard?

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:48, archived)

I'm a bloke though.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

You can still be a bastard though

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

Men are naturally bastardish.
Women WORK at it.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

So is Pcikle Fairy.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:53, archived)

Whatever

(

Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

I bet that will want fumigating

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:33, archived)

Can't see it being too bad,
But by the sound of it the place is a mess, the copper said to Kevin "oh, you don't want to go in there pal...".
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:35, archived)

Why?
Were the Cheeky Girls still on the stereo?
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:38, archived)

It was Elvis actually.
:S

The same song over and over. I'm surprised it took the neighbours this long to complain.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

Return to Sender?

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

oh fucking hell! I just spat my beer all over my monitor!

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:43, archived)

Pfft!

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:45, archived)

Blue Swayed Noose

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:47, archived)

I'm moving on.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:48, archived)

A little less conversation.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

Hahahaha

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

It's Now Or Never

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

Crying in the chapel
Do not disturb
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:51, archived)

Indescribably Blue

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:52, archived)

you are always on my mind?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:42, archived)

hahahaha

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:41, archived)

I couldn't do that job
I haven't got the stomach for it
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:39, archived)

there are many places you can go and for me to place one destination over another may cause offence and for this reason i'm not getting involved, sorry, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:09, archived)

I'm fed up of the way you talk to people on here you patronising, opinionated shit.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:12, archived)

forum banter, great times

(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:15, archived)

I think you're missing the point.

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

Christ you're all such BASTARDS.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:44, archived)

Hahaha

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

He's ruining this place.
I think Gonz should build us an emergency 'nice' board where we can all go and play without his incessant internet banter.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

Can we invite all the antagonistic cunts first though?

(

LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Yeah.
That'll work. Then we can get upset in two different places simultaneously. No offence. Smashing.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

The sun.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:10, archived)

Eygypt is dirt cheap,
I might go.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:14, archived)

Avoid Cairo

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

all the cheap ones are to Sham al shiek or something.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

superb diving there

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

An airport
Of course, cheap flights are one of the scourges of modern life, creating the concept that spending two hours in a tiled barn sitting on seats more uncomfortable than the ones at primary school, followed up by a few hours in a metal tube with all the other mouth-breathers, before landing in an equally bland terminal, all the while scrutinised, patronised and thoroughly debased by anyone the least bit official, counts as some sort of adventure that we should all do more often or be frowned upon as xenophobic.

In summary, cheap flights are for twats.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:16, archived)

I'm taking a boat next time I travel overseas.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:17, archived)

will it fit on the plane?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

Don't get caught
Foreign jails can be tough
and in muslim countries they'll cut your hand off
(

CanonCaliber A big bore, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:54, archived)

But you're flying
TAKE THAT GRAVITY
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

Then do it properly
even pigeons don't have to pay to be squeezed against some bestenched sweating porker who can't even sip their coffee without sounding like a motorised drain cleaner. That's how low humans have become.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

I think somebody needs a hug.

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

WooooOOOoo
IN THE AIR
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

Fair enough
I'll have the yacht made ready.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:19, archived)

Why go anywhere at all?
Is your life so empty that you think a week in Alicante getting skin cancer and food poisoning will somehow make you a wiser person with a richer life experience?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:21, archived)

Pipe down
you patronising prick.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

It's not patronising if you really are this worthless

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:25, archived)

You're starting to sound like a very low-rent version of the magnificent Bud.
I think you definitely need a hug.
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:27, archived)

My boundless love of life prevents me from hugging anyone
in case I crush their ribcage to splinters out of pure joy
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

Keep staring at the pixels
I'm confident of your ability to judge someone's character.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:29, archived)

Experience different cultures, try new food and drink, new experiences, visting friends or family, getting time away from work
etc
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

apart from the last two
that's pretty much all bullshit.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:24, archived)

Maybe for you.
Trying the local food and drink is one of the main reasons I visit new places.
(

my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

I haven't felt the need to go abroad for about 8 years,
and it wasn't even my idea the last time.
That's how full my life is.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:26, archived)

I don't think anyone books flights, cheap or otherwise, for the fun of the airport.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

The shop

(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:18, archived)

seattle
paris
new york

I booked them last night through www.cheapflights.co.uk/ :)
(

moohalaa, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:20, archived)

Uranus.
/schoolboy lols
(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:22, archived)

Ryanair fly there. Well, actually they fly to Pluto.
Etc.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:23, archived)

AIRLINE FOOD!

(

Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

I wonder what you get fed on a flight to Pluto.
I bet I still wouldn't be able to get to sleep.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:30, archived)

Hahahaha,
'schoolboy LOOK AT ME, I'M A MASSIVE WANKER!'

I love Woodside's idiot filter.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

Mexico is cheap

(

scott,, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:28, archived)

HI

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

hello there

(

scott,, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

Yeah, bastard didn't get his round in when we went drinking with Uraguay and Belize

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

Cambridge Airport is quite nice.
The Customs Office is a small garden shed.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:32, archived)

Do they fly to Bogota?

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:34, archived)

Holland or Jersey.
That's about it.
Sorry to waste your time.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:36, archived)

That's fine
it's still valuable information.
Norman was shit hot last night, btw.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:40, archived)

pay someone to fly you round and round in circles until you run out of money

(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:46, archived)

Hello
you unwholesome pederast.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:49, archived)

hello sexy buttocks
I don't really care where you go as long as you fuck off a long way from me and the plane explodes

forum banter, no offence, etc
(

Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:55, archived)

I'll make it explode
all over your fucking face.
etc.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:58, archived)

Paradise

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:48, archived)

They paved it and put up a parking lot.

(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 18:50, archived)

I've been there
Might go to me next year. Never been.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:53, archived)

Fucking hell.
Went to town earlier and bought some baccy, gave the attendant a £20 note and she only gave me the change for a tenner so I asked and she said to come back in 30mins when she cashes up, fair enough.
Came back and she said she checked the tills and everything was in order so she wouldn't give me the tenner I was owed so I kicked off a bit and she started to ring the police at this point I fucked off, not worth the hassle.
Just rang them to speak to the manager and complain and apparantly it was she who served me, fucks sake.
I am adamant that I gave a 20 as that was all I had in my wallet.
:( had to cancel the pub now.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:33, archived)

QOTW

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:34, archived)

YM

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:34, archived)

RAM HER CUNT IN WITH A HONDA ACCORD

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:34, archived)

This is my 3rd favourite meme.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:35, archived)

What's your second. Obviously know the first.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:35, archived)

YM

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:36, archived)

This
I'm also partial to the 'Sparta' meme
The 'Which Regular are you' meme
The 'Woop Woop Woop' sub-meme

and I've been working on a few others.

WATCH THIS SPACE
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

my name is jacob dyer and i live in bristol. it is fantastic. i sound like barnaby bear. i like barnaby bear. one time he went to france. i went to france. but some kid burnt my neck. i didnt like it.
forum banter, no offence, great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:57, archived)

FUCK OFF YOU DIRTY TRAMP
?
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:36, archived)

Nope, that's not a memememe...

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:38, archived)

It was for a short while.
And to be fair, if Cock tuesday can be counted this sure as hell can be.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:39, archived)

DID SOMEONE SAY COCK TUESDAY?
WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:44, archived)

I bet he's a fan of the 'AND THEN ALL THE DOORS FELL OFF' meme

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:38, archived)

Or the one where I put tinfoil on my broom-on and did 'robot spinny arms'
ahhhhhhhh, fun days....
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:41, archived)

OF JUSTICE!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:05, archived)

https://www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/csmco2/index.jsp
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 17:35, archived)

She works behind a till.
You still win Life.

Bye talk. Bye captain, have a nice night. Why thank you, I doubt I will but there you go. *sigh*
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:37, archived)

byeeeeee

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:40, archived)

*blows raspberry on belly*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:42, archived)

the only course of action is to go round her house,
break into her back garden
hide in the shed until it's dark while gripping a shovel
cry until morning
go home and cry some more
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:37, archived)

Done and done.

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:37, archived)

ring head office,

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:39, archived)

that is good news/ or bad news, not for me to judge really, sorry, no offence
great times
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:40, archived)

Go on, be brave.
Good news for the woman in the shop that an internet wimp walked in. Bad news for poor King Baby Duck.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 17:42, archived)

As a tobacco user, you fucking deserved it
consider it a tax on your stupidity.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 18 May 2009, 18:13, archived)

I remember when all this was fields
When you're old, what will you claim was better in your day ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Smoking probably

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

LOL CANCER

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

ROFL GEMINI

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

ZOMG PISS

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

The Internet.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

The 80s

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

I'm 28, and when I was in earlier twenties b3ta was much better.
Now it's fat people treating it like an AOL or Yahoo chat room in the 90's.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Ah yes
Fenris was never fat. Nor was Monster munch really.

Fenris did have very small hands and played D&D though.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Those were the days.
You could be racist openly then without anybody calling you racist, it was all 'ggod non PC fun in the b3t style'.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

Indeed
Oh how we laughed at all the darkies and chinkies and wops and micks back then...
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

I blame JMG for his 'no to unfunny racism' campaign
:(
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

but think of all the offence it could of caused, or not, i don't really know, sorry, no offence
wicked
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

Truly Mongy, you are the Voice Of Sanity.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:15, archived)

LOLOLD!

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

IreLOLand!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

Not-as-handsome-as-handsomLOL-gav.....lol

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

Ireland is getting on my fucking nerves this evening.
Answer the fucking phone you cunts.
(

Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 18 May 2009, 17:27, archived)

Cover art to music releases.

Toy guns.

Top Trumps.

girl's breasts, where they were shaped like bananas due to the cut of the bra...
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

I remember even before it was fields
wanking was better when I was younger
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

I remember
when all this was glaciers and Mammoths.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

I remember
when the earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

I remmeber a million years before that
when it was all made out of coal and JMG had hair.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

Oh
I think I turned up about 5 minutes after that.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:12, archived)

Yes, I'd been there a month and I noticed you arrive
you just missed the "tap-dancing-newt" epoch.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

My Gran

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Insults, abuse, sex and fighting

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

paedophiles

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Does the word "Mammoth"
make you think of a moths tit ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

no

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

Does the term 'Butterfly Boobies' make you think of hairy elephants?

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

Everyone's talking about mothballs, mothballs mothballs
I don't want to see mothballs, I'm more interested in seeing a
butterfly's tits.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:12, archived)

yes!

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

you PERV!

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

"Back when I was your age, we used to have pensions, a welfare state and a national health service;
we didn't just dump people on the streets to die once they reached retirement age!"

And no-one would understand what I'm talking about, because the average IQ of the rank and file would be about 20.
(

The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Smarties
and I do so already.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

this is true
I can't feed my brother the blue ones to make him angry anymore.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

They taste like crap 'back of the cupboard since last halloween' ones now.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

Smarties are rubbish now

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

I swear also Dobblers and Spastics were funnier because they didn't have high tech wheelchairs that I'm slightly jealous of.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Now they're all Extreme Sports Spastics with BMX wheeled helmets and whatnot.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

Terrorism

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Good point
The OYE ARRE AYE were a lot more fun than these darkies we have now.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

i'm not sure i will claim anything is better, or maybe i will, i can't really say, sorry, no offence
ok
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:01, archived)

This is quite dedicated of you Mongy.

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

it is worthy of a salute!

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

or not, no offence, etc

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

forum banter, great times

(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:06, archived)

Every type of snack food, specifically Wagon Wheels, Toffee Crisps, Monster Munch
Masters of the Universe jelly sweets, and top quality, but very cheap pick n mix.
(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

"Sweets tasted better when I was a kid"
People think this is because they can't use the same additives these days that they could in the 1980's but it's proably because your tastebuds deteriorate over time.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

it's probably both tbh
Toffee Crisps DEFINATELY had a recipe change.
(

theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

Sometimes things boast "New, improved recipe!"
in big letters on the packet for a while.

In reality, ~~improved~~ cheaper.

This happened to Yorkies, and some popular brand of Prawn Cocktail Flavour crisps.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:19, archived)

I think people's tastes mature.
There is good evolutionary reason why children have a sweet tooth.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:16, archived)

Dunno yet,
there's some little nob end kicking my chair and screaming on the bus. Grr.
(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

where can i sign up for this in the form of an RSS feed?

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

You should tell QOTW about this.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:05, archived)

I WAS ON A BUS AND....
....SO I KICKED HIS ARSE AND HE CRIED AND HIS BIRD SUCKED ME OFF LOL
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:06, archived)

AND, LIKE, MY BUS PASS WAS TEN YEARS OUT OF DATE... AND NOBODY NOTICED!

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

TERRIBLE BULLYING!
TO THE HONDA ACCORD.... or something
(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:06, archived)

But this is actually happening :(

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

RSS FEED WITH COMMENTS!

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:08, archived)

Rape them first

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

www.b3ta.com/questions/bullies/post424651
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:12, archived)

hmm
smoking indoors like the spanish continue to do, large computer game boxes with a proper manual, wait, this is all stuff that is already in the past! :'(
(

valoukh newsgash.wordpress.com, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:07, archived)

Art

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:11, archived)

You know what,
I reckon when I'm old, things will actually be better than they are now.
They'll get worse in between, mind. These things come and go in cycles.
(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

I'm surprised and disappointed no-one has said YM yet.

(

Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:14, archived)

I am now imagining a bike
with semen and doings on it.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:15, archived)

I've successfully installed my diddy underseat bass woofer speaker thing.
I am pleased to report that it does what I wanted from it and it has a remote off switch to avoid me sounding like a twat in residential areas.
I can't wait to drive to Basingstoke tonight to give it a proper test on the motorways.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

Pick me up.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

B4sh on the road.
Spare ROFL under the boot.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

Someone's done a shit in the glove box !
GAZ me some bog roll !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

We're all out of GAZ.
ROFL
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

Dude
WE'RE COOKING ON GAZ !!!!!
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

My favourite member of the HOW 2 gang was GAZ top.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

AND YOUR FAVOURITE FOOTIE PLAYER
WAS GAZZA
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

AND YOU PROTESTED AGAINST THE ISRAELI INCURSIONS INTO
THE GAZA STRIP
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:37, archived)

SOMETHING ABOUT THE GAZ-A STRIP!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

STOP DENYING THE HOLOCAUST, YOU ISLAMOPHOBE.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

Holocaust ?
Lolocaust more like.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

Steady on, Holy Father, you're in enough trouble as it is.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT GAZ-TRO ENTERITIS

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

AT LEAST WITH THE STATE OF THE PROPERTY MARKET THESE DAYS YOU WON'T
GET GAZZUMPED
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

HOUSE PRICES ARE GAZTRONOMICAL

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

~~HOUSE~~ RESTAURANT
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

~~RESTAURANT~~ whore
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

10 MPGMTRFH

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

WHAT THE FUCK !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
LOLTITS
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

CIIJASIIEngine

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

RISunroof

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

FAQuantum Mechanics.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

MOiNternalcombustionG

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

congratualations
car upgrading gives you +5 man points.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

YOU GET MINUS A MILLION POINTS FOR BEING A SWINE

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

At least I don't follow young women around wanking
(anymore)
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

No, what you do is have a curly tail, wallow in mud and hunt for truffles.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

and infect mexicans

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

Pfft, diddy.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

I'm no chav.
I have no use of a great big thing that fills my boott, preventing thetransportation of tomato plants and crates.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

In Hiberno-English the word "diddy" is a common slang word for "booby."

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

In French they say a word that sounds like WEE when they mean yes.
Fortunately I am not French or I'd be ROFLing myself sick everytime I had to answer in the affermative. Really I would.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

In greek the word for piss is pronounced euro.
Which makes shopping double plus ultra loltastic.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

Yes.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

Have you ever coughed so much it made you wee ?
I have coughed so much it made me wee.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

No.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

Oh.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

FP THIS NOW!

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

I bet you've coughed so hard you did a wee
I bet you did it and then took your trousers and pants off and ran round the house swinging them round your head singing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

Didn't you?

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

Well that took some doing.
Did you get a man in?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:30, archived)

i could say that i'm pleased for you for having pleasured yourself by installing something, or not, no offence
cool
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

oh mongy :(

(

thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

forum banter? no offence
great stuff
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

Oooh fancy!
I have never been into car audio, but I have just built a valve amp to drive my new headphones. It sounds amazing!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

GREAT

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

Remember now only to play insipid repetitive dance 'choons'

(

Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

No thank you.
Although I do now have to choose something good to test it with.
Probably NASA or Scroobius Pip.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

you could play your podcast
loudly
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

Like the twunts who feel it necessary to do just that outside my house.
At 1am.

Grrrr!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

Oh they turned up then?
Great.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

They were with their mates on a 'cruise'.
Apparently.

*secretly plots how to get chavs to turn up and play music outside your house*
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

WIKKID!

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

You shouldn't be allowed to drive
you fat spastic, terrible parent.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

I heard that you have non-functioning dicks for fingers.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

I heard
he fists spastics against their will
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

Spastics don't have souls
so legally this is fine.

/law student
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

They have arseholes
or how would one be able to fist them ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

His car is a wheelbarrow without a front wheel
it doesn't matter, just humour him and he 'drives' around his garden, flapping his lips to made bass noises down a toilet roll tube.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

huzzah
I don't think I can fit a subwoofer, or indeed any kind of outside speakers, to a bike. It would look rather nifty though, I'd bet.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

It would get in the way
when out dogging though.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:37, archived)

I beg to differ!
www.firebox.com/product/2307/Lavod-MP3-Bike-Speaker-and-Flashlight
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

That looks gayer than Fenris.

(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

The product isn't gay
but the little animated GIF is gayer than fenris's shit-coated cock-nubbin
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

£100 for that,
fuck off.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

It does look a bit shit.
£100 seems a bit steep too, i'm guessing the sound quality isn't going to be up to much.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

haha
www.firebox.com/pic/p2307ex1.gif
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

he's clearly just going
OOOeeOOOOeeOOOeeOOOee
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

I know!
I'm not sure what kind of 'bike' he is riding there.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

A shit one
judging by those bars.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

You a biker then?

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

I dont know what that means
who are you ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

I was just asking if you liked biking, either mountain or otherwise.
I'm sort of new, been about for a couple of months. Hello anyway.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

I do ride a bike on mountains regularly
I will be in Afan doing this very thing on Saturday.

FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A MONTH ! *pumps fist*
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:58, archived)

I'm jealous.
I'm a keen mountain biker but I don't get to ride as often as I would like, work and stuff has a nasty habit of getting in the way.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

No one goes riding as often as they would like
unless they are a big raving gayer who needs a month to recover from a ride.

I only get to do a "proper" ride about five or six times a year.

There are a few MTB'ers on here.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

My bike is now woefully outdated and a bit shit compared to newer ones.
It was amazing a few years back mind. Over the summer i'm hoping to have a weekend away riding somewhere, any suggestions?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:06, archived)

I HAVE GAZED YOU A REPLY
VIA GAZ
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:18, archived)

"get into the rhythm"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

pfft
hrmmm don't think it could be heard over the engine to be honest.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

Ahh
That kind of bike. I thought you meant pushbike.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

I was imagining a ghettoblaster tied with bungee to the back of a motorbike
a happy thought.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Dogs die in hot cars.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:35, archived)

I wish I had Paul Newman's eyes
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

And that's how hot dogs are made.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

Car + subwoofer + motorway = win
I always plan on fitting a proper system with leads from the correct places but end up doing bodge jobs with power coming from cig lighters etc.
(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:37, archived)

In many ways, this is what I dun.
I have no idea what the ignition wire is hooked up to. Here's hoping my battery isn't flat by this evening.
(

baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until it's Stevie Wonder.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:51, archived)

Racist
How many elephants can you fit into a microwave ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

none

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Incorrect
the answer is "It depends entirely upon the relative size of the elephants and the microwave"
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

12 really tiny ones.
How do you turn an elephant into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until it's Stevie Wonder
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

hahaha
you bastard
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

;P

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:04, archived)

What movie should I go see?
Come on Film'09.

What's hot to trot down at the local filmarium?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I saw role models last night, it wasn't half bad.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I've had less than favourable reviews.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I don't know you, I don't know what you like/don't like/are like etc.
You could make up your own opinion, but then that would cost money, unless you're downloading.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

I'm dole.
Anywhere up to seven times a day on here.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

Lolisms aside, make your own mind up.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

Oh JMG.
This is low internet for you, a mere step up from asking what people are having for a midafternoon snack :(
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

I'm asking for advice on what to see, outside.
I can't fail.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Shame on you JMG for pandering to the sticky-cheeked element.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

Let's have a PUN thread Dave the Hat!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

That would be PUNderful ! (wonderful)

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

See JMG?
You're even fallling out with me online!

You'll be getting GMoS to gaz you about Bogus Offical next.

SHAME ON YOU.
(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

I've already gaz'd Gilgamesh.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

DID YOU GET MY GAZ. GILGAMESH?
GAZ.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Now put gaz round something made-up about me, put on ignore only not really and your trasnition to the Fat Side will be complete.

(

Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

He GAZ'd me about your GAZ
and I GAZ'd Dave the Hat about it.

He says you are aWAFFLEy cheeky.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

LET'S KEEP THIS FACT AMONGST OURSELVES, AND AT NO POINT GIVE THE IMPRESSION THAT WE ARE CORRESPONDING WITH ONE ANOTHER.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

YES
I WILL ALSO REPLY TO YOU REITERATING THIS

VIA GAZ
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

LOL @ THAT GAZ.
GAZ.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

I watched Star Trek last night.
FF stole it from the internet. As someone who isn't really a Star Trek fan, I enjoyed it muchly.

I want to see Drag Me To Hell.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

I've never seen a full Star Trek movie, nor Star Wars..
Hold on, I may have seen a few of the latter Star Wars movies.
I'd already hit "tab" and can't be arsed to click and delete anything in the box above.
I'm so internet, right now.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

SHE'S READY JIM!

(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

OOoo I wanna see that too. looks how a scary film should be and not about scary kids but freaky old women.
freaky old women are always scary anyway.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

as i don't know what type of films you enjoy or possibly don't i will refrain from entering into this tinder box of lively debate, no offence
good stuff
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

I saw Slumdog Rupeeaire last night
They said it was 'The feel good film of the century' and I found it didn't make me feel good even once, made me hate humanity. Was a good film mind.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

The century's only nine and a half years in.
Don't be sold by Hollywood tittle-tatter, DG.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

I always find that in terms of the 'feel good movie' nothing can beat the good old porno.
It's only afterwards the feeling of despair and virginity kick in.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

I found the feelings of despair and virginity evaporated once the director said "Action."

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:26, archived)

The new Star Wars is very good
*awaits dressing down and demotion from the captain*
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

*shrugs* everyone but me bums it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:21, archived)

I'll watch it, but I don't enjoy it like I did when I was a yoof.

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

I've never enjoyed it, it's always bored the tits off me....

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

Jing Jing Banks was the best character.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

Star Trek
it's good,
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

~~good~~

Complete and utter shite.
(

WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

I watched The Uninvited on friday, it was good.

(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

I didn't mind it, Elizabeth Banks does a good turn.
Mainly I liked the lead girl's lips.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:23, archived)

She has pretty eyes.
The movie completely threw me off, it was not what I thought it would be and I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:27, archived)

Yeah, the end was quite good.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

I saw In The Loop a few weeks back.
Well worth avoiding.
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Interracial chav-teen-grandmothers 6

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:25, archived)

The Hannah Montana film
I give it 3 spangolins out of 5.
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

I'd give her-
Wait, is she legal yet?
(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

I think so

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

Oh well, there's plenty more underage fish in the sea.

(

Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

Interracial chav-teen-grandmothers 6

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

no-one wants to see your mum being pounded by a black man wearing burberry, GW.

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:32, archived)

This reminded me that i do miss Frankie:(
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/somerset/8055693.stm

Also i think it speaks volumes for his sense of humour that he was going out with a pirate, in both senses of the word.

Any dead celebs you miss?
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

Not really.
I think it's best to move on.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Saying that. I can list a few I wouldn't miss.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

Aww, well at least they're back together.
Richard Whiteley, I miss him. Bless him.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

He was a right cunt
Hello
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

So are you and nobody minds
Yo
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

Yes
But I don't pretend to be a bumbling avuncular TV presenter. My cuntery is well known and accepted.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

HARSH

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

I met the grumbling shit rag on several occasions.
He even did the 'don't you know who I am' thing once to a poor girl in an off license when he had to queue. I set a bunch of small boys onto him when he was rude to me. He loved that.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:28, archived)

:( oh no.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

Ian Dury

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

John Peel

(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:13, archived)

Not really.
I miss dead family members and friends more.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:14, archived)

Weirdo

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

I NO RITE

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

I haven't clicked your link so am choosing to believe that Frankie Boyle was going out with a pirate

(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:15, archived)

This would be 65% better

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

not that i can think of, sorry, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Is this your penance for your terrible bullying of TFS?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

i don't think so, not for me to say, no offence
great times
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:19, archived)

John Candy
And Richard Pryor
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:16, archived)

Jade
obvs.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

Tommy Cooper
Eric morecombe
Dustin Gee
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

None really
but I did enjoy finding out that Franco only had one ball. news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8055329.stm
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

Come to think of it
Linda Smith and Humphrey Lyttelton both made me very happy while they were alive. So I'll go with them.
(

Cactus 1 doesn't care what you think on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

These two, too

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:22, archived)

I am so devoid of ideas today
I cant even think of anything insulting to say about anyone.

How can I heal myself of this ailment ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

Hiya

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

I imagined you saying that
in the voice of Charles Hawtrey.

Hello.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Take MOT off ignore.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

Fall out with JMG at top speed.
Girls will FANCY you.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

HOW MAN
BALD, DOLE, RELEGATION, REPETITION, PET !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

YOU FAHHHKIN' FAAAAHG!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

SHATTIT YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNT !!!!

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

I like you JMG
but I cannot wait for Newcastle to get relegated. It gives me the massive horn
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

This is the view of most people who'd call in to TalkSport.
We've hammered most sides at some point. I'm not surprised to hear bitter callers lately.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

I remember the time you beat us (Arsenal) 5-1 in 01/02 season*
I have not forgiven this Jammie

*this is my recollection, I was listening to it on the radio in December I think. I may be wrong, I am after all a ZOMGURL
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

I can't recall beating Arsenal 5-1.
But I'm having this, regardless.

...Was it at Highbury? 1-3?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

I don't know
I was 16 and I was upset.

It may well have been three one.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Yep
on my birthday. Top evening out.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

Other fans arent bitter beause of past defeats
mostly they are worried that sometime soon you're going to get hold of a decent manager, sign some proper players and stop being an easy 4-6 points a season for any half decent side.

Better you lot go down and keep the likes of Hull up so we can be sure there will be 4 or 5 really shit sides in the mix next year to keep everyone safe from relegation.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:08, archived)

the voice of reason speaks!

(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:12, archived)

Go to your local student boozer.
Or pick on me, your local easy target. I talk a lot, you know. That's VILE.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

Communication is the biggest crime in human history

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

I am the Hitler of words.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Just as long as you aren't Alia Atreides

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

I could tell you about my taste in music?

(

WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Go on then

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Well at the moment, I'm listening to a lot of Lady Gaga and Katy Perry.
My favourite bands are Fightstar, McFly, Taking Back Sunday and Bring Me The Horizon. I also quite like Metro Station.

Sometimes, I like to download Metallica and then delete it, because it is shit.
(

WHARRGARBL, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Down with this sort of thing

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I'm a big fan of the Dolly Rockers

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

That's because you're a horndog
Did you listen to the song or just masturbate with the video on mute?
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

I'm humming the tune now.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

The tune you sing when you wank over them?
"Oh yeah, I'm sure one of you is quite gobby, but, who cares, I am fooled by the fact you are wearing 6 inch heels and short skirts"
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

all I can remember is dah dah da da Eifel.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

oh and "flash your pants cos you can can"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

here's the full lyrics
www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=1&id=1033440
I think an Ivor Novello is in the pipeline.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

Maybe in the "written by slags" category.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:06, archived)

I once met the lead singer of BMTH
In the Route 66 nightclub in Portsmouth. He was a thoroughly nice chap, i'm not keen on the music though.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

I think they played in our local about a year ago, if I remember rightly.
If I do, they were fucking poor, and all haircutty.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

They are a solid example of
style over substance.

I'm hugely eclectic with my musical tastes, they just do nothing for me.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

I must hit them all.
cdn.buzznet.com/assets/imgx/7/4/1/1/0/5/1/orig-7411051.jpg

1st in from right looks like Scarlet Johannson's 7 year old little sister.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

FETCH ME MY CLIPPERS OF DOOM

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Try and slip whilst you're doing it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

I'm sure that fire would be quicker

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:56, archived)

Indeed!
Short back and sides for the lot of 'em!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:58, archived)

5 years maximum
and they'll be doing telesales.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Nothing wrong with telesales
At least you get to speak to people.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

to at
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:09, archived)

I used to. Back when I was a wee bairn.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

I did it for a couple of weeks one summer
I found it pretty soul destroying cold calling. I went back to farm labouring instead.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

I did it for a few months
and then went back to bar work.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:04, archived)

what were you doing in a club in my city?

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:54, archived)

I would most likely have been a Monday night
So it would have been rock night.

I was in Portsmouth at uni, i was in halls pretty much opposite Route 66.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:57, archived)

Throw things.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

Shapes ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

That'd be good.

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

MAKE PIE!
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

spring water?
you massive gay
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

It's water that's been bounced off a spastic's face back into the bottle

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Use piss if it makes you happy.
I don't care.
(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

you do, as you would want some

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

FUCKING EPIC :)
How long do we cook for on 180 though?
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

we?
voices in head again?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

DG counts as two people he's so fucking cool.
Me & Cher.

We also talk in the third person.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

p.s. Cher just told me she thinks you're a skip lobster

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

thanks for chering that with me
see what I DID THERE hur hur hur
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

about 30mins or until braaaaaaaaan.

(

Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

I've never ever made a pie.
I'm by myself ALL week next week, fending for myself and I can't be fucked to get any of the girls around to cook for me so I'm going to do it myself.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

you`ll be shitting yourself inside eating all that cereal and chocolate

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

I can cook (a handful of things), it's just that I'm lazy and young women willing to impress do it for free...sorta.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:03, archived)

i fucking love you

(

Azra3l Lubrication Persuasion and Brute Force ™, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

Looks good!
Steak and beer is always a good combination in a pie.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

I'm not a massive pie fan
but I wouldn't mind a nibble on yours
(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

"fuck" "off"

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Rip off your own eyelids
and staple them to your cock
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

therapy not working then i take it

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Do you work for the CIA?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

+10 points
if he sticks them on half over some googly eyes.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

i couldn't possibly have an opinion on how you can remedy your malise, sorry, no offence

(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

Few Stellas with vodka chasers should sort it

(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

vodka chasers
like Malcolm?

mmmmm spotty underwear
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Listen to Baldmonkey's podcast.

(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

When bone of your leg is sticking out of your thigh, do you
a) stay still and wait for urgent medical attention
b) flail around in agony
c) stand up, run around like a looney, showing everyone how bad your leg is?

Answer is here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIWWYOqG_9s&NR=1

by the way, it's gross.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

I'd tell the internet.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

The internet didn't exist in 1981

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

YOU didn't exist in 1981.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

True facts.
I was born in 1987
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

*87 club five*

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Bleedin' kids

(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

i bet that's like s club seven
you poofs
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Not even a little bit.
For one thing, no fat chicks.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Great
I was wanking before you were born.
Still am.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:32, archived)

Didn't that put the doctor off?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:35, archived)

He was at it and all
it was really randy.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

And he still didn't make as much fuss as a modern footballist that has had their hair slightly ruffled

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Their amazing ponciness is one of the reasons I don't like football
I want to see a real sport with men fighting and touching eachother!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

FRUIT!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Nah not a fruit.
Just like rugby and judo. Football has always left me cold.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

You like sports that consist almost entirely of grown men fondling each other?
FRUIT!
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

Yep, you guys have sussed me....
/repressedhomoeroticfeelings
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

I bet you love watching UFC as well.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

UFC?
Don't know it.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:27, archived)

Men in little pants cuddling on the floor.
www.findticketsfast.com/img/Boxing/UFC_Tickets.jpg
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:30, archived)

Googled it.
Nope, never really seen why anyone would want to go and kick the shit out of someone as spectacularly as that. Or watch it for that matter.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:33, archived)

PUT ON YOUR DRESSING GOWN AND THROW A BULGARAIN BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

BULGA RAIN
some stay dry and others feel the pain
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

Now that is top banter, right there.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

i try my best, jammers

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

This
Is probably the most accurate description of judo ever!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

MELONS!
i may have misunderstood the rules of this game
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

Ice Hockey
The roid rage is fabulous.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

I have always fancied having a go at Ice Hockey
It is like rugby on ice but with added violence.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

And no rules

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

There are rules
When the referee gets bored of the fight he'll send the players to the naughty corner for not fighting well enough.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:26, archived)

and it was only a yellow card.
and the bloke who did it just looked at the wound and shrugged his shoulders.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

He's taking it quite well, actually.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Also, this is a much better tackle
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWIUp19bBoA
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

I honestly think he just lost his balance.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

His defence was
'I was trying to head the ball, which I believe is a legal move in football'.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

This is the only thing of note this man has probably ever done.

(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Fat fucking imbecile

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

He actually gets the ball.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:17, archived)

Why aren't Michael Jackson's kids black?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

is this the opening line of a joke?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Was that? LOL IS THIS? L:OL

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

~~black~~ taken into care
(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

cheer up, grumpy

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

*bokes*
I'm loving his mullet though.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

I would poke it back in and then sew the tear with some twine and a huge needle
before going `arrrgggghhh` and killing the baddy in a ironic manner before the credits roll.
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:11, archived)

Dunno

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Christ on a bike!
They don't build palyers like that anymore. Good to see him try to run it off!
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:12, archived)

Tis but a scratch!

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

What they don't show is that
they gave his leg a quick rub down with the magic sponge, and he went back on to score a hat-trick.
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

Best sports programme ever
www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4fzeK3SQa4&feature=related
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:25, archived)

Compound fracture?
Tie a bow aroudn the sticky end and wait for a passing LAYDEE.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

Haha, what?

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:15, archived)

They dig scars, I've heard.
DIG THIS, WOMBY.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

Are you sure?
A womenfolk has never said they like mine.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

I'm one of them innies
and I quite like a good scar.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Hmm, maybe you are right
Testing this hypothesis would involve speaking to women though.

Edit: I should probably remove the maybe, because you always seem to be right
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

Adrenaline can do funny things.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:16, archived)

apparently it's called "fight or flight"
it makes you think that the best thing to do is run away
(likeajackhammer, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:18, archived)

Or fight

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:20, archived)

Flying Dragon Punch is the order of the day then.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

Clearly

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:22, archived)

So that explains whenever I injure myself I stand up and take off like a seagull...circling playgrounds for chips.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:31, archived)

I can see an ITV2 programme in the making...
Adrenaline Does The Funniest Things...
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:19, archived)

It is odd
The couple of times I have hurt myself badly playing sport it hasn't really hurt at all for the first few minutes.

Generally small injuries hurt straight away.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:23, archived)

I push it back in and pour on half a bottle of whisky, drink the other half, stitch it closed with a bootlace and piece of shrapnel

then carry on shooting gerry.
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:24, archived)

gerald is a lovely man and a kind neighbor
you're such a cunt to him
(

moohalaa, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

I got my first randomburn on Saturday.
HURRAH. I've not listened to it yet though. This whole process is very exciting.

I've got a bit of lolreallife drama going on at the moment and it's shit.

Tell me things to cheer me up, or make up secrets and lies...
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

Cheer up, could be worse.

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

NEAR THE TOP
photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v285/223/55/536917351/n536917351_996080_6437.jpg
(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

What does the semi-circle above symbolise?
I put it to you, the fat internet. That this is a cult insignia.
Let's look away.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

bit nsfw there

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

Dogs trying to eat peas is fun to watch

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

i bet that's true
but i doubt you've experienced it first hand
(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:07, archived)

nothing's authentic anymore so who cares
(

vladimir, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:14, archived)

I was very disappointed with randomburn last year so this year I'm going to be the one disappointing people.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I applaud this stance.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

Shameful
behaviour.
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

That made me do a lol
Has he been learning from Brazilians?

EDIT: This is still funny www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgfRCa71Kmw
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

I think that's still the best.

(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

OH SCOTLAND!
The poor man's Portuguese league.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

If you're bored, check out
some of the goals of the season from the Dutch league. Some absolute crackers.
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

I trust this has been pre-screened.
I'd hate to see McClaren and his rosatia.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

I have checked.
He does not feature.
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:10, archived)

Hahaha
oh dear
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

I think the other guy should have been brought back on and the other guy should be sent off and get a 5 match ban

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

His club have banned and fined him apparently.
And he had to make a public apology. I like the Rangers fans in the background. They're about two feet away and still think he actually hit him.
(

Jobe, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

I think they were saying "YEEE CALL DAT A HEEEEDBUTT?!!? I SHOW YOO A GLASGOW KISS!"
*boks granny next to them*
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Or be Hatton's next fight

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

You'd never guess that the people in the comments section were scottish.

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

have you filled a cd case with meat paste?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

There are people on this board that would LOVE a cd case full of meat paste.

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

It's so true.
:(
OH INTERNET..
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

HI JMG
How's the bald mum dole?
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I'm having an excellent day, walletwise. I've also managed to get my hands on very important technology.
img149.imageshack.us/img149/6873/jmgdole.jpg
..and there's been limited fat moaning.
Splendid.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

haha
I'm so pleased to hear the status quo has not been unbalanced
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

only shippams
none of that own brand muck
(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Apparently
shippams paste jars are the most removed object from the the anus.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

I know a couple of GPs
It seems they are the perfect shape for trying to put piles back in

TRUFAX
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

This is every shade of wrong.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

Tell me about it
It makes me snigger everytime I pass the sandwich spreads tho
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

It says so
on the adverts.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

She put them there.

(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:54, archived)

Not penises or fingers?
I'd expect it to be penises or fingers.

Penises or fingers.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

I'd think poo.

(

nick the greek, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

You always think poo
you Greeks invented buggery.
(

Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:21, archived)

You're welcome

(

nick the greek, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:29, archived)

NO ONE'S GOT IN TOUCH WITH ME ABOUT A FUCKING RANDOM BURN

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I fucking well did.
I GAZZED everyone their addresses on Wednesday night and it took me three and a bit bastard hours to GAZ 97 people.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

Thank you for doing it
I have my cds and nice cases all ready.

Now just need to burn them and send them off tomorrow
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

Washing your hair with a mixture of orange juice
and double cream will prevent dandruff and leave a glossy shine.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

Or make some sort of Orange fool on your head

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Jodie Marsh?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

~~Jodie Marsh~~ Blue Star
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

You're not a fool.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

I bought you flowers once but I don't know where you live.
So I put one flower from the bouquet on every reference to "blue stars" in the real world that I could find.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

Like a bruised anus?

(

mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

is that what blue star means?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:36, archived)

I made mine
and it is fucking epic.

THE EXCITEMENT.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I made mine
and may send it anonymously...
(

thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

I bet my life's worse than your life.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

A girl asked me to piss on her on Friday night,
true story but taken out of context.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

Was she on fire / stung by a jellyfish / joking?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

I was in bed asleep at about 2:30am she came in with my housmate and my neighbours
and woke me up by jumping on my bed. After she went in the living room with the others I went to the toilet and she said "don't piss in there piss on me"

nut
job
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Can I move in with you?
I'll piss on her if it happens again.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

nope,
2 bed flat and you're not sharing my bed.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I'll curl up at the foot of the bed and guard you from evil,

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

What fucking children.
I'd have been very annoyed. I hope you beat the shit out of your housemate for being such a complete cock end, letting people into your bedroom to touch your stuff.

Jesus, I'm actually angry FOR you.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Meh, fairly amusing turn of events
and he was apologetic the next day.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

I couldn't deal with teenage prickery like that, I really couldn't.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

I'm going to break into your house at 2.30 am, touch your stuff,
then piss on you.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I apologise for chasing you around whilst naked and brandishing a cutlass, then.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

... would that happen?
I'm going to have to go in armed. We can have a sword fight.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

Glue a butter knife to your cock.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Break into my house, I grab sword and try to get you out.
Break in during the summer, I don't wear stuff to sleep in. Bish bash bosh.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

Hello nurse

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

More Silent Hill than Vivid's finest.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Your house is like Silent Hill?
I bet you host some awesome halloween parties!
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:57, archived)

:D

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:58, archived)

Excellent news.
I'll bring a film crew with me, if that's ok?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Early 20's prickery.
Did seem a bit "student house" but oh well I didn't have to go to work the next day.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

*argues* no, that's teenage prickery.
I don't care how old PHYSICALLY the bell end that did it is. I'd still have told him to get the fuck out of my sight until his nads dropped or move back in with his obviously piss-poor parents.

But then I get really irate about that sort of thing, and am a stroppy little cunt. :D
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

I can't really blame him,
All I heard him say was "I don't know if he's in" then my door was open the light was on and there was a girl flying towards my bed.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Ugh. Thank fuck I don't live with anyone except the wife any more.
Poor you, chompy. Even if you don't think so.

(I know you're a lad and some sexists frown upon it, but I'd have punched the fuck out of whatever whorish cunt flew onto my bed).
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Just one of the reasons i'm glad I rented privately this year
Although i'm a student, i'm an old man at heart. I like to be tidy, clean and in bed by midnight!

Living on your own can be a bit lonely mind.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

I'd rather live with farmyard animals than one of my current housemates.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

I have had experiences with horrible housmates in the past.
I'm pretty easy going really, I just don't feel the need to get dressed up like a twat, drink stupid quantities of snakebite and vomit on the highstreet like the average student here does.

Living where I do also has another downside, I have to work cocking hard to earn enough to rent on my own. Prices are extortionate down these parts.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:03, archived)

In Loughborough everything is cheap as chips.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

I was looking the other day
I found studio flats including bills in the golden triangle for £75pw

I'm paying £550pcm at the moment for a 1 bed flat and I have to pay bills on top!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

PSYCHOCHOMP LIKES IT WHEN GIRLS WEE ON HIS FACE

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

I bet you can guess the girl,
the one I'm not obsessed with beggining with L
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

I guessed from the use of the phrase "nut job"
She's forgiven everyone then.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:48, archived)

She blamed it all on a facebook error.
yeah right.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

*sniggers*
Yeah, of COURSE. Lol she is mental.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

how was your weekend?
this stuff also happened to me www.b3ta.com/talk/6158181
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

Oh Chompy
*Makes "wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaah" noise*

Was it her giving out her number?

My weekend was weird, bit awkward having the man's best mate round here being sad a lot. His wife finally told him she didn't want to be with him last night. Yeah, four days of torture because she didn't have the balls to do it quickly. She is quite possibly no longer my friend because of this.
(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

yep, after he asked for it.
Then after he left she came over to talk to me and I turned away and went to the bar. meh
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Experience?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

I often post him sealed cups of wee.

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

How come I don't get stuff like that?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

Because you're not a member of my official whore fanclub

(

The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

Add some context

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

See above,
drunk girl, who is a bit lolmental.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:43, archived)

Ah yes.
I AGREE WITH CAPTAIN WOW
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

WISE WOMAN.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:51, archived)

Was she on fire?
Oh balls. Damn you MoT.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

was she south african, and asking you to replace her toupés on her?

(

glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Cheer you up?
Your birthday card arrived at my house on Saturday. Mail Fail.

Come and have a cuddle, lady.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

OMGLEZCUDDLES !!!!

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:46, archived)

YEShopefully.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

*CUDDLES*

(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

\o/

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:13, archived)

I'm sending mine off tomorrow
It's just a CD and a link to follow to the
SECRET ONLINE TRACKLIST.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

I've got to print the covers for mine yet.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Are we supposed to do that?

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

SECRET ONLINE cover

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

SERIOUS BUSINESS

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

Dunno, I am.
I doubt many will like the music I have to offer, so at least I can placate them with pixels.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

They can have a CD case. That's as far as I'm going.

(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

If anyone else participating in the random burn wants to see it they can gaz me.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:40, archived)

I had some lovely wine on saturday called Kiss the Devil. It was made with chili peppers.
My first thoughts after tasting were arghohmyfuckinggodI'mdyingwhatastupidthingtodrinkargh
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

i'm making mine on friday
so i will say sorry to all the people waiting for me

SORRY
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

randomburn
a fag burn you're not expecting?
(

100% kitten better than ever, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:41, archived)

Mine are sat on my desk waiting to be posted
Will probably have to do it on Thursday as I have exams all day tomorrow and Wednesday.

Yours should be with you by the weekend Blue Star. Cheering for you?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:42, archived)

i'm not sure i could add anything to this thread to cheer you up, or not, sorry, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

Are you tying it every time
or copying and pasting?
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:45, archived)

if buy tying you mean typing, then yes i type my forum posts out one at a time, if you mean something else then i'm sorry i don't understand, my fault, or not, no offence
great times
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

CHOPPED UP DOGS

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:53, archived)

forum banter, great times

(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:56, archived)

I'm doing mine when I get back from 'Viet'dam
Whoever gets mine will probably get the best one. They get bonus hand drawn pics and personal verbal self help tape dictated by me.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

Every one of mine gets a special gift with the cd*
*Random object off my desk and an obscene doodle.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

*prays for a stapler*

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:00, archived)

I'll staple your cock to your eye so you end up pissing yourself blind
Also, we're talking anything that can fit into an envelope, like plectrums and kittens.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

I'm hoping for the monitor

(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

i want one of yours!

(

manolith hooray for me, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:05, archived)

One of mine only lives about a 20 minute drive from me
I want to know who's list I'm on :(
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:50, archived)

real life drama?
I told you that dogging site was not a good place to go,how many people `walking their dog` thought you were a child?
(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:02, archived)

it's my birthday
the whole office gathered around and presented me with a card and gift. I'm still blushing. I may never recover. I've only been in this office for three weeks.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:04, archived)

bukkake cake

(

Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:06, archived)

They all want to slip you a length.
Even the women.

Nay, ESPECIALLY the women.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:08, archived)

:D
Seems like a good place to work
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:09, archived)

Hello Chubby Chubsters.
What are you all moaning about today, then?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

The lack of pie around here.
Really, I am. I have a hankering.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Whatever happened to Hankster?
I haven't seen him in a while.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

radiation?

(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Wasn't he here on Friday?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Maybe.
Perhaps we just come on here mostly at different times these days.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Send him a perfumed letter telling him how wet you are.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I did that.
All I got was a curt card in return telling me I should buy a new raincoat and possibly an umbrella.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

What a fucking weirdo.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

his profile says he's gone outside
lol i doubt that, he is an internet fatty
(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I'm moaning about everything jammy.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I have to say there's a connection between GMoS Industries and JMG PLC, and as such we're preparing a sympathy strike on your behalf.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

I've been working on getting people to dress up like me so they can get assassinated rather than I
You never know when an angry Aberdeen is going to get a gun licence.

My latest recruit is MooCow_Byter he's going for a 4 years in the past GMOS look
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

have you donated the "glasses" to him?

(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

nope, he's just decided upon a mohawk.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I'm prettier than you were, though.

(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

probably.

(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I have to say I thoroughly endorse a move where there's more GMoS'.
In the wardrobe, and in the public eye.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I keep telling you,
I just convinced you from 4 years ago to look like me now. It's to confuse time travellers.
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

I started the mohawk appearance 7 years ago.
you can't travel back more than 4 years because your cool ratio is not high enough, I can travel 60 years.
(

GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

nothing really

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I hope the toon stay up.
/DG 100% honest blog
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

OHH MY SWEET DG!
It's incredibly drawn out and agonising.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

I want them to go down.
Purely for selfish reasons you understand.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

I think they will get a win at Villa
and Boro and Hull will go down.

I was hoping Hull would lose on Saturday to ease the pain for JMG.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

I hope Villa win, out of a misplaced love of MON.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

I dont think a win benefits Villa in any way does it ?
FOOTBALL TALK, ONLINE !
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

A win takes Villa into Europe (5th place)
no offence. great football forum banter.
(

Three Dog Man, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

5th to 7th are all Europa League qualification spots because of the cup results.
Position within those places doesn't matter for that. It's worth something like £750k in prize money per place.
(

nick the greek, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:35, archived)

I know. I've always liked Newcastle as being a QPR supporter a lot of our youth has headed towards the heady heights of the toon and they've got the coolest strip in the 97 -03 season
Which I used to wear when playing, always the fashion victim.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

Q P fucking R ?

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

West London boy. Plus it's who all the cool rock stars support.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

~~ool rock star~~ unt
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:20, archived)

same thing :)

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Eternal gratitude for your kind gift of Sir Les

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Hayes FC thanks you for the 10% of his sign-on fee

(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Mon 18 May 2009, 15:34, archived)

JMG. What would you say was the main cause for Newcastle's bad performance this season?
Apart from yourself being to blame, I mean.
(

Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

Keegan.
Should never have come back. Made their season start bad, was ruined from there on in.

Having Sam "The shittest, cuntiest, twatiest Man in all football" Allardyce the season before didn't help either.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Tsk
dont you know it's all Dennis Wise's fault ?
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

How did Keegan make our season start bad?!
They drew at Old Trafford!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Spurs drew at Stamford Bridge early on.
You know how our season started.

Manchester United started this season in very very shit fashion too.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

...How does that defeat my Keegan point?
Under Keegan we won two, drew one and lost one.
I'm right.

I'm always right.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:23, archived)

Newcastle United . January 2008 - September 2008
Played 21
Won 6
Drew 9
Lost 6
% 28.57

EXCELLENT STATS!
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:27, archived)

That isn't this season.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

That's the entire time Keegan was in charge in his second stint.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

"Keegan.
Should never have come back. Made their season start bad,"
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:28, archived)

Two independent statements.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:30, archived)

Keegan's start to the season was perfectly fine.
I'm sorry Kevin Keegan's Newcastle United probably gave you a couple of hidings.
I still blame Spurs for Keegan's first resignation.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

Let's be clear
Kevin Keegan is not a great football manager. He's a good motivator, but not a lot else.

I wouldnt let him manage my affairs.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

It's amazing.
You can finish second in the Premiership and still be labelled a terrible manager in this country.
How many other Englishmen have done this?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Funny how no one rates Keegan apart from the Toon faithful.
You're so blind to your "messiahs".
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:29, archived)

An excellent point. Made by the club that appointed the Rev. Hoddle.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:31, archived)

We appointed him, he wasn't very good,
we fired him.

After his shit performance we don't revere him as some kind of god, like you do with your failures.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:32, archived)

http://www.footballforums.net/forums/archive/index.php/t-28245.html
4th reply.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:39, archived)

Yeah
useless twat only saved us from relegation into the old 3rd division then up to 2nd place in the premiership within 3 seasons.
Oh, and only the press call him messiah...
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:33, archived)

and all the newcastle fans who get interviewed,
and all of the banners in St. James's park.

I'm going to bring Shearer into this. How's his managerial record? Excuses... it's not his team, he's not been in charge long etc are not acceptable, everyone recognises that that team are far too good to be where they are.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:34, archived)

I haven't heard any excuses from him
no idea what you're on about.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

I have.
:) Blind to your messiahs :)
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:38, archived)

www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/burden-of-tottenham-hopes-rests-on-hoddle-689378.html

"The bottom line for now is whether Hoddle can make a difference or at least give the demanding Spurs supporters something to cheer about. "The way I always saw it is the fans want a team who can play," Burkinshaw said. "They want individuals who are terrific technicians. They loved the likes of the Frenchman [David Ginola] and Glenn Hoddle, in his time, was a god."
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:44, archived)

"in his time".
Well done, you've proved that you're not reading things properly.

He was a fucking fantastic player, and as a PLAYER could do no wrong.

He tried to manage us, he was shit, he is no longer a "god" to us - although he was.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:47, archived)

It's amazing how you've managed to clamp down specifically on a set amount of time, there.
As earlier you couldn't fathom the difference between this season, and last.
I again put it to you, and now coupled with your new found sense of exact time, that Keegan's 08/09 season at SJP actually got off to a rather fine start.
I'm sure you'll agree.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:49, archived)

It was a bad start.
and I'm sticking to that.

There's a significant difference in time between the 70s and now
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:52, archived)

What was so bad?

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:55, archived)

You beat Bolton (big woop) and drew with a substandard Manchester united,
then you struggled to beat a team that nearly got relegated from the championship.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:59, archived)

Yes. that's 4 Premiership points out of a possible 6.
Are you alright?
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 15:01, archived)

Off-field antics.
There doesn't seem to be a grown up amongst them.
Ashley's right hand man showed up in a shirt for Saturday's game with "Cockney Wanker" written on the back.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Seeing as he's being honest
why wasn't Ashley wearing a Spurs shirt?
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

It was Llambias in the shirt.
Weird..
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:25, archived)

I have nothing to moan about JMG
I am alive, relatively healthy and I have people who care about me.
(

Mrs Sp@m, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

This is the best way to have it.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I've just done an exam having not slept at all last night.
I feel a bit sick, but otherwise all is well here, JMG.
(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I did that the day of a 9am exam.
It was the same day it snowed, and my eyes were so fucked from not sleeping my eyes were ruined for ages as it was so bright :(
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
Well played.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

Bloody aced it as well.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

i'm berating myself for offence i once caused, or didn't, no offence
smashing stuff
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

You're starting to sound like one of those overly-friendly suburban nightmares
All smiles and politeness on the outside, with a secret stash of chopped-up dogs in the attic.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

i can assure you i have no dog chopped or whole in the attic, at all, none, no offence
ok
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Nowt
I smashed up a house this morning.
Best hangover cure ever.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I applaud this manly act.

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I borrowed
one of these

Wallop, bosh, have that etc.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

Nothing JMG,
it's my birthday!
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Happy TUTT Day.
*Celebratory fives*
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

Congratulations to you on this day,
The anniversary of falling out of a minge for the first time.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

wow
it's national kate day. happy birthday to splendid kates everywhere.
(

100% kitten better than ever, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:37, archived)

I'm doing WORKY THINGS
Also, annoyingly, my chest is hurting.

I took up JOGGING over the weekend, JMG. The fatty ratio must be re-balanced.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

Excellent move!

(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

I think I let myself down by having a fag halfway through, though.

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Jogging on hampstead heath?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

You bad cunt :(
I only managed about 2km. I'm so unfit.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

Refereeing decisions

(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:06, archived)

You only sing at the polo.
etc.
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

We're all going on a European Tour ,a European Tour, a European Tour.....
Boro next season, you're playing Boro next season, Boro next season...

(And possibly Milwall)
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:11, archived)

Boredom.
I'm half way through my first day of 3 days off and bored to tears already.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

I'm not moaning about anything
On Friday, BT cancelled an order of mine, when I called to find out why, they said it was because I couldn't order my line while the previous tennants' line is still active. BT actually re-placed the order for me today and I didn't even have to ask.
BT sales is good. I hope to god I don't have to call their support though.

And before anyone says "why are you going with BT?" It's because I have an o2 phone, o2 is really be there, which are the best provider, and I can get 20Mbit for a tenner a month.
(

SuperMatt, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:07, archived)

i'm not saying "why are you going with bt?"
virgin are willy-faces
(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I'm with Virgin
Thoroughly prefer it to Sky.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

back when it was telewest it was awesome
i had three months of intermittent downtime last year, and left in a fury for zen, who for a small fee guarantee all downtimes are resolved within 24 hours
(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

That's why I went with o2 too

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

The work's fantasy football league is a bit too close for comfort.
And I need the cash.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

I know the feeling.
:(
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Does the dole office know of this potential other income source?
LOL.
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

ROFL!
I KNOW!!
(

Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:26, archived)

the absence of bad things in this life
if life continues to be this good, i may have to abandon all hope of ever becoming a blues singer
(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:08, archived)

Just write a song about chopped-up dogs
It what all the greats have done.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

General moaning and complaining here, JMG.
Mainly family centred.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:10, archived)

Buy a cat
Staple it to the underside of a dog.

That's my advice.
(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:13, archived)

We already have three cats.
They are not the cause of the issue. They are all fabulous.
(

Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:16, archived)

Sounds like you need three dogs and a staple gun

(

Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Nothing whatsoever.
Life is grand.
(

FoldsFive, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I think it's about time I became a rich and famous artist, JMG.
But I'm not sure which medium to choose. I'm quite a good musician, and I can take a decent enough photo, but I'm just not sure where it all should go.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Just take your clothes off.
And make sure it's shameless.
Cos everyone knows that's how you get famous.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:17, archived)

I'm going to learn how to carve wood.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

WHITTLE!

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

or use a chainsaw.

(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:19, archived)

With your penis.

(MooCow_Byter, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:21, archived)

Maybe that's the wood he's going to be carving.

(

BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Nowt.
I did fall asleep during the film last night though, so will have to watch the last 20 minutes tonight. That's hardly a moan though.
(

Druid, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:18, archived)

This year
I am growing onions and garlic and beans. I am also growing a beard and have been for the last five months.

What's the longest you've grown something for?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

ym
She's still eating the pies I'm mailing her.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

You don't strike me as the feeder type
Unless it's out of spite.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Yeah,
Pure spite.
She can't leave the house now.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I think you're confusing my mum
with JMG.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Dont you go doing the same thing
that man is FAR too busy to lactate into your gaping maw.
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Fatty fatty two-by-four
Can't fit through the bedroom door
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

I've grown my self over the last 21 years, 5 months and 5 days.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

a year and a half growing white poppies across the road from the police station
although I don't think that I could have made opium out of them, even if I'd wanted to.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

I'm growing tomatoes, various salady things, coriander, chillis and parsley at the moment.
It's all going swimmingly at the moment.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Obvious answer but probably my barnet.

(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I sowed some seed that took 9 months to come to fruit (as it were)
Though, technically, I didn't do the growing.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

You had a wank in the bath, just before your victim got in,
didn't you?
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

yes.
It's the only way I'll get anyone pregnant.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

You said it, not me.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

~~grow~~ plough
(

RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I planted a bunch of trees when I was about 12
they're still there.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Was that six months ago
or are you a bit older than that?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

I'm 26 on the 24th of May

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

I really am quite surprised
that so many people on here are younger than me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

How old are you?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

He's 52.
Poor old Al.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

I'm growing my hair
So that I can shave the line of the mohawk back in, after the daft bint at the barbers took a chunk out the side.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

When I was twelve I threw some violet seeds in my yard. They've grown every year without me doing anything at all to them.
Also, I've been growing my current head of hair for 17 months.
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

i planted a japanese maple tree the year my daughter was born, i used to breed discus fish, i've probably mentioned all this before, sorry, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Your faux politeness is terribly offensive.

(

thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I have been growing a beard for the last 3 years
Although it has a trim every week or two.

Woo for beardy b3tards!
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

If you trim it
it doesn't really count, that's only a two week beard.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

I suppose.
I did go a month without trimming it but my boss said I looked like a homeless man who had stolen someone's suit. She had a fair point.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

DREAD IT.
Then you can dress up as an octopus.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

That would be too good for words
Maybe I could enter the World Freestyle Beard Championships.

I'm not making that event up, it exists.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Oh, we know. Well, I do.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

i'll never come to terms with this b3tards thing, it will always seem wrong to me, although i assume some like it, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

No offence taken, or not.
Do you prefer b3tan possibly, or not?
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

i do yes prefer the term b3tan, it was what we once were, i understand the site owners point of view in trying to avoid that term but it smacks of taking stuff about a forum a little srrs, or not, no offence
ok
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

the trouble with b3tard
is it's pronounced the same as /b/tard. the confusion!
(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:12, archived)

I've been growing my body
for the last 25 years.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

I'm impressed that you elected
to grow your body, but not your penis.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

My waistline
Has been steadily growing for the last six months.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

~~body~~ repetoir of gay chat up lines
(

Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Looking for a tip ;)

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

I've been growing my body for

~~the last 25 years.~~ 12 years and then it stopped.
(

Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I've been nurturing my misanthropy
for three decades.
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Oh, and give my love to Jerry and Margot when you see them

(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

I'm growing my hair
I want to know how long it will get before it pisses me off and I chop it off when I'm drunk.
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

You'll come home one day
and your hair won't have cooked you dinner and you'll have had a couple of pints in the pub and you won't mean to hit it, but it still ends up at the bottom of the stairs.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

It's a sobering moment

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

the apple tree in my garden
i planted that when i moved here, seven or eight years ago

i'm growing beans too. i wonder if it's too late to plant onions...
(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:04, archived)

Somehow this
article looks like it's been written by a year out student.
How are you?
(

Druid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

Not enough 'like's and 'OMG that's so random'
Tired. Hungry for pie.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

HELLO
I listened to ISIS over the weekend, they were quite good. Very atmospheric and that. I couldn't find any of The Ocean on Spotify.

/review by spangles, aged almost 23
(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

Isis
cool name.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

Just listening to Isis now
God bless Spotify
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

You like?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

I do indeed
Will be buying an album or two soon.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

YES
more converts. Aaron Turner should give me free stuff.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

What sort of music is it?

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Post metal- sounscapey progressive big long music.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

You used a lot of words to say:
'shit'
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I haven't posted a picture of you, so I can't have meant that.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

I'm going to shop you onto Hitler.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

Hitler is so passe these days
All the cool kids are going with Stalin now.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

Too much Mario for my liking.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I'd rather live in Nazi Germany than Stalinist Russia.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

but then again, I hate gypsies.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

Ah, my ultimate Dom.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

22 3/4 surely

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

I'm glad you found it enjoyable.
If you can't find the Ocean, I will have to think of others for you.

Hmmm.

I choose.... Pelican and Russian Circles. If you can't find RC try MONO.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

Fuck off!
/mono
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Have you heard Botch's cover of Rock Lobster?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

No.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I think you might like it.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

On youtube with it on now.
That's not my bag.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Ah, that's a shame.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

It's 12 year old boy's music.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:49, archived)

Then you'd best start calling me Cameron, or whatever all boys are called now.
Charlie or Archie or whatever.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

It's just going to increase the likelihood of you getting bummed if I do.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

I can take you.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:52, archived)

*pinches cheek*
Oh you.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

I CAN.
I'm twice your weight, probably. Also maybe height.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I'm 6 foot and 13 stone.
barely an ounce of fat on me.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Oh alright then.
So you're huge and 4 stone bigger. I will pull your eyelashes out.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

Or we could just be nice to each other?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

No flirting?
Fine then. Harumph.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Your idea of flirting is offering to pull someone's eyelashes out?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

Yes.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

Sexy.

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Of course.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:02, archived)

I remember Pelican being in the recommended list

(

spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Very accessible.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

I'm gonna drop
Red Sparowes into here too.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:54, archived)

Yeah, good man
even if whats-his-face is a prick (sent us a grotty email once upon a time). Justin Broadrick, I think I mean him.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:56, archived)

He never sent me a grotty email.
But yeah, Red Sparowes are good stuff.
On a slightly different note, 65daysofstatic are worth a listen too. Although I'm guessing you've likely heard of them.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:58, archived)

The name's ringing a bell...

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:59, archived)

According to wikipedia:
"instrumental post-rock band".
I'd be tempted to throw "kinda electro" in there too.
But that sounds like awful synth pop. Not what I mean.
I'm not doing so well on this explaining-music stuff.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:01, archived)

Don't worry, electronic to me can mean almost anything
my best mate's the biggest Aphex fan alive, so he knows all the electro shit.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:03, archived)

Oh, ok!
So yeah, I'd recommend checking them out.
"The Fall of Math" is a good starting point.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:05, archived)

Duly noted.
Have you heard any Knut?
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:09, archived)

I have not.
What're they like?
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:14, archived)

Amazing. I'm sure you'll dig them.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:15, archived)

Thanks,
I'll keep an ear out for them.
(

Cawl, Mon 18 May 2009, 14:24, archived)

Start listening to polish progressive rock
www.myspace.com/lunaticsoulband
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

I'm listening to the bloodhound gang now.
random...

my playlist.
(

Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

had a lot of dick, had a lot dick etc

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:50, archived)

sounds like we've got CSI vegas, miami and new york on the case there

(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

A man was run over and died today and the doctor ppl said he
had died from been runned over. MORE LTR
(

Druid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

"he died from being stabbed LOL"

(

mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

I am all full of food and yet I have a pack of party rings that shall be consumed.

(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:27, archived)

I fucking love party rings.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Are they the round hoop biscuits with coloured icing?

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Yes.

(

thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

Ta!

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

They aren't quite as good as they used to be when they had proper E-number colours

(Bazongaloid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

And I'm sure they used to be BIGGER

(

thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

You used to be able to replace the wheels of your trike with them

(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

Could you save me a lilac one, please?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

yes, no problem
I'll post it to you asap
(

TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

You are a lovely little bunny face
and if you come to London I shall clasp your head to my bountiful (although rapidly disappearing) bosom, free of charge.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

om nomnomnomnomnom

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

i'm eating yogurt covered honeycomb
and waiting for all my teeth to fall out
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

I read a report that suggested suggary food isn't nearly as bad for teeth as previously thought
Starchy foods cause more damage because they don't dissolve in saliva as easily.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

excellent
*finishes the pack*
(

crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:36, archived)

Ooooo
That sounds bloody lovely
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

I'm ok thanks
weekend was ok apart from one or two social faux pas.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Isn't there anymore information forthcoming?

(

thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

1: a girl I was talking to on friday had a very posh Kent accent, I thought she was from South Africa. Furious backpedalling ensued.
2. A girl I (used to) have a thing for gave her number to a guy at the bar, I got in a bit of a huff blanked her, and then was very annoyed with myself.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:39, archived)

haha noob

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I actually said "you dick" to myself in my head more than one time that night.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:40, archived)

I've been there a lot.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:45, archived)

I don't like the Kent accents I've heard, not at all.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:42, archived)

You probably won't like my sussex accent then :'(

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:43, archived)

I might.
To be fair to Kent, pretty much everyone I met there was a wanker, but then they were friends of the cock-end ex.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

I shall endeavour to converse using my proper native southern accent for you

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

Speak how you like, chap.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

I always try to speak using my southern accent
but sometimes I drift off into midlands jibberish.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

I don't know how I sound. People accuse me of being posh
but I'm not.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

I'm from Kent
I'm not an idiot, I promise! I also don't have one of those horrible mockney estuary English accents.
(

Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

I think it's just the Sittingbourne/surrounding area accent.
Blee.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

She was very nice though and we were getting on well until I said that
and then she soon found an exit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

She's THAT offended by being accused of safferism?
I reckon you made a lucky escape. Imagine if you got the wrong end of the stick and thought she might want to see your willy? She'd probably call the police.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:46, archived)

No, I think it was my akward backpedalling that put her off.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:47, archived)

Awwww, chompy.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

Ring her right now and ask her out for a drink to say sorry for thinking she had a racist voice.
Use those exact words.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:51, archived)

didn't get her number
:(

I could probably get it from the mutual friend she was out with but... bit too much stalking for a girl I had a drunken 20min conversation with.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:55, archived)

Feel like shit, thanks for asking
glad that this has been modernised tho: www.handdrawngames.com/DesktopTD/
(

broadsword, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Growing a beard

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Me too, very slowly,
until I shave tomorrow morning.
(

Druid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:33, archived)

I've been growing it for 4 days now
I gave it a trim yesterday evening.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

I think I'm right at the beginning of having the runs.
:( bad times.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Just sellotape a bucket to your arse.

(

thealternativefact, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:31, archived)

Think F.A.S.T
Farting?
Anus twitching?
Squidgy trousers?
Treading water?

You've got the shits.
(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

tired
I need an extra day to recover from the weekend but I also need to work.
blah.
How are YOU?
(

Lisette von Falcon, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

I'm well, but a bit tired.
This is not good since I'm on nights tomorrow and need to stay up as long as possible tomorrow morning.
(

Druid, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:37, archived)

i'm alright, thanks
working out terms with several potential employers. i'm going to keep upping my demands until all but one of them bails, kind of like an ebay auction for spacefish

i would have written the article in glob syntax
(

spacefish bong!, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

A bit stabby
I might do some stabbing.
Anyone up for being stabbed?
(

wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

i'm not convinced that my current well being is of any interest to anybody other than myself, close friends and family, although none of those have inquired about it today, or not, possibly, no offence
great
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, archived)

Needs more Bommyknocker.
I have sniffles and koffs, but I also have:

* a new guitar on order (Squier Telecaster)
* two new guinea pigs (Squeaky & Mr Tumble - names chosen by the litter)
and I rode the Viffer into work today for the first time after moidering my back with it the other week.

In summary: WIN!
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:48, archived)

It's so poorly written I'll be surprised if Dan Brown doesn't nick the text for his next brilliant novel.

(

FoldsFive, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:53, archived)

"... Robert had sex with the lady. She smiled at him in a sexy way.
He liked it. He put his thing inside her thing and they did it. It was good..."

/Dan Brown does erotic fiction
(

Johnny Catfish - Yowsa!, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:57, archived)

a few years ago I spent half a year bumming around south east asia, had a fucking fantastic time
just got an email from a chap I was with and he's been doing pretty much the same thin ever since, well he's been around the world and has just arrived back in malaysia.

I've just had the sudden realisation that my life is shit. Am I right to be insanely jealous of him or should I console myself with the fact that I won't catch malaria and I have a pension?

Actually, I'm not even sure I do have a pension.
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:10, archived)

You'd be lucky if Malaria was all you'd catch
All that bumming...
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

I'm not an astronaut
so I consider my life a failure.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

space
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_pictures/8041583.stm
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

actually, that's probably the issue
I've wanted to be a spaceman ever since I was very small

I wish I was a spaceman
the greatest one alive
I'd fly across the universe
in fireball XL5

/edit if I had a spaceship I sure as fuck wouldn't call it fireball
(

VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:15, archived)

Yeah who do I have to fuck to get into starfleet?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

i belive that it's me, only joking, forum banter, no offence
great times
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

Me, that's why there is no starfleet

(

Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

The first duty of every Star fleet officer is to my cock
my cock, my balls and my ring

If you can't find it within yourself to pleasure my cock, balls and ring
you don't dervere to wear that uniform.
(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

Is that because we have to develop a relationship with Klingons?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

^that was funnier in my head.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

Congratulations.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

Is he a trustafarian?

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOO
BUMMING ALL OVER THE WORLD
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:12, archived)

*likes it, likes it, likes it, likes it, la-haaaaikes it*

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

Ha.
I KNEW IT
(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:16, archived)

Shall we all start queueing?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

Im ticket number 7:(

(

Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:21, archived)

I've got tickets 1,2,3,5,6.
Whoever gets 4 better not make it sloppy.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:23, archived)

Sexface has ticket 4

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:24, archived)

I'm not sure I like all of this talk

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:25, archived)

What's wrong?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:28, archived)

Everything.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:29, archived)

Do you not want me to take you up the arse 3 times, then let sex face have a go, then twice more, then let mykeyboy have a go?

(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

Would you?

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:30, archived)

Yes.
I might not let the others have a go though.
(

Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:32, archived)

Hmm.

(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:34, archived)

What, bumming people?
I get cold forearms, I can't help it.
(

Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

well you still spent half a year in South east Asia
which is pretty fantastic still. Some people think that drinking lager and eating egg and chips for 7 days in Benidorm counts as exotic travel
(

h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

i think you should decide this really,or not, not for me to have an opinion on this topic, or is it, no offence
cool
(

mongychops, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:13, archived)

Unless you're a frequent flyer,
He'll probably get swine flu before you.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:17, archived)

Congratulations to him on being a fucking crusty.

(

WormuIus, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:19, archived)

I'm pretty much the opposite, in that I've kept going away every year.
It soon just becomes normal life, and you lose any feeling of security or personal space.
So no, you shoudn't be jealous, unless you want to be.
(

owensanity, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:38, archived)

« Older messages | Newer messages »