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# art fart
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:52, archived)
# comment splurge
A WOO :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:54, archived)
# I like it
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:55, archived)
# Absolutely beautiful
Although the bottom looks like the incredible hulk has splunged on a needlepoint design.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:57, archived)
# Wow thats fab
ive started trying to do arts. Nothing as fab as this :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:00, archived)
# But is it cubism?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:02, archived)
# HURR DURR.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:15, archived)
# You seem to be taking this nuclear thing a bit personally Ttss.
Is your dad a nuclear reactor?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:22, archived)
# Yep.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:27, archived)
# sorry about that.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:32, archived)
# I was very upset by that thing you did that upset me.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:37, archived)
# i'm sorry for your lots.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:40, archived)
# ooh
nice use of thingiemajigs snowflake.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:07, archived)
# unusual
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:52, archived)
# That's very nice :)
here's my contribution to art today. Not much but I did have to walk around on a shitty, rainy morning today to take the picture.



Click for bigger (351 kb)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:19, archived)
# Not the Bees!!!! AHHHH
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:46, archived)
# BUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:50, archived)
# :D:D:D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:53, archived)
# Am I the only one who sees Nicolas Cage?
We used to call those fish horns when I was young.


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:03, archived)
[challenge entry] Probably this..
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:50, archived)
# I know that street.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:51, archived)
# No, really.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:54, archived)
# Really?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:57, archived)
# It's Moor Lane, just before the market, going over the rail bridge.
Those flats in the background are an old people's home/sheltered accomodation, I think. I've always assumed they were anyway.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:59, archived)
# I'll mark the exact spot of the camera on street view.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:00, archived)
# I'm glued to my seat.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:02, archived)
# THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:07, archived)
# Myeh.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:08, archived)
# By 'eck, lad
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:18, archived)
# Ay up cocker.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:19, archived)
# you must live close
to there *stalks*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:22, archived)
# It's right near the bus station and on the route into the town centre, every fucker around here could have told you where it was.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:24, archived)
# A few years later though?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:33, archived)
# RIP Fred
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:29, archived)
# His statue might be on street view actually.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:30, archived)
# Traffic light is in the way.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:36, archived)
# bummer:(
they should respect our heroes better than that :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:43, archived)
# An Isambard Kingdom Brunel Rally.
That's what I'd like to see.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:53, archived)
# I'll need a de-monsteration
:D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:33, archived)
# I did some more on my new desktop background


Click for bigger (97 kb)

Markers, fibre tip pens and a bit of paint.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:38, archived)
# Cor, genuine arts!
I like the look of the wood through it.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:42, archived)
# Always good to get a look at wood through things
/voyeur
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:43, archived)
# Peeeeerrrrrveeeert.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:56, archived)
# You called?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:00, archived)
# I like this.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:44, archived)
# Cool ^_^
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:01, archived)
# \o/
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:06, archived)
[challenge entry] ENGLAND :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:31, archived)
# I wonder what the odds are on James making a monumental mistake.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:33, archived)
# is any one else getting a blue bar flash up at the bottom of the anim when it gets to the end...
i had that on a few gifs as well last night on here..

my comp fail or something... more sinister?

also top anim dude :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:34, archived)
# you're not on firefox 3.6.3 are you?
they've royally fucked it up. i'm gonna go back to 3.5 just to get my animations back and happy.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:36, archived)
# Clearing the cache and reloading tends to fix them.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:39, archived)
# not working for me at all... :'(
...my b3ta is broken. Flashing animations, frozen animations, pictures half cut off with gray. It's become very depressing.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:43, archived)
# I don't see how it's the sites fault, other than in the images hosted in their servers.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:46, archived)
# I don't know who's fault it is...
...I just want it fixed and running smoothly as it should.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:50, archived)
# Trying a different browser/version of browser is all I can recommend.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:54, archived)
# Here's an example. I've been seeing this gray matter alot.

(This was Happy Toast's post obviously)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:58, archived)
# Happy toast's grey matter.
You could sell that stuff on ebay.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:09, archived)
# well now it is any way.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:56, archived)
# I've had the half cut pictures as well
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:50, archived)
# oooh the chevron of complaint!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:51, archived)
# that will be the badger then.
cheers dude.

i suppose firefox are allowed atleast one fuck up they've been pretty much ace up to now.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:50, archived)
# i think it is
it's hit quite a few people on here -- naturally enough, given the number of animations.

it *might* just be that all of us will be using adblock plus and perhaps noscript and that's mucking things up. let me test.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:30, archived)
# I don't have adblock plus
:P
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:42, archived)
# b3tards is fucked
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:42, archived)
# ^ Seconded!!
C'mon England.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:41, archived)
# toot toot!! :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:31, archived)
# Dude! Woooooot!!! They did it again man!! Awwwwwsome
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:04, archived)
# In the USA draw = win
and 2+2 = KFC
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:14, archived)
#
British Slovens (?)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:15, archived)
# Just as relevant as the original then.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:37, archived)
# Psssttt....
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:31, archived)
# :D
Woo
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:33, archived)
# You've ruined it :(
Now do an animated template with obi-wan on it :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:36, archived)
# The original is still there...
An animated version?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:37, archived)
# definitely:)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:56, archived)
# I have the drawing of the side of the bus and a very long background for it to run along...
Does anyone know a quick way to animate the bus bumping along with the background flowing past?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:12, archived)
# Adobe Photoshop :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:28, archived)
# 1. print the picture of the bus
2. hold said picture infront of computer screen with road background loaded
3. get camera, point at computer screen and press record
4. press mouse onto the bottom scroll bar and scroll while holding bus and making up and down motions for the bumps.
5. stop recording
6. upload video
7. encode as .gif
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:20, archived)
# WOO
I'd love a matchbox version of this to come out
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:56, archived)
# That'll look great next to my TeaBot :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:01, archived)
# You have a b3ta-meme teapot?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:13, archived)
# A HappyToast Teabot!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:33, archived)
# I like that
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:34, archived)
# Your meme bus will surely become a part of internet folklore.
Absolutely fantastic :)

Edit: Not a criticism, but I reckon it should have had Hull on the front ;)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:25, archived)
# Democracy! fuck yeah
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:38, archived)
# Haha
but that was a shocking decision by the ref.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:08, archived)
# Peter Serafinowicz interview
seeing as the Richard Herring interview went well I figured I'd do another. This time Peter Serafinowicz has agreed to a B3ta grilling - stick your questions on this thread please.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, archived)
# Talk --->

Now FP my Meme-Bus!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:29, archived)
# congrats :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:40, archived)
# Thank you all....
MY VERY FIRST FP!

* Crys a little...
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, archived)
# All it takes is asking rob upfront?
I wish I'd have known that.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:44, archived)
# well I'd have probably done it anyway
as mostly I just scroll down the popular page looking for stuff I like

THE SECRET IS OUT NOW
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:46, archived)
# Thanks Rob...
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:49, archived)
# Can I have an FP please, Mr. Rob sir?
And if I give you a free T-shirt can I get a linky in the newsletter? :)

/has no problems with bribery
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:03, archived)
# it is really fucking impressive :D
your paper cut out bus design as well..?

go team first fp being a paper cut out :D

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:32, archived)
# That's horrifying.
and great at the same time...
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:59, archived)
# yeah I feel the disembodied hands do add a vague level of sinister to it
it's like Glitter's died and come back as a low rent ghost special effect.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:13, archived)
# hahahaha
:D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:46, archived)
# Hahaha:D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:26, archived)
# Nice work
Lucky it wasn't raining in your pic....
;)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:58, archived)
# Peter, do some impressions.
What do you mean it's a text interview? You're obviously not as good at impressions as you claim!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:29, archived)
# Peter
When did you change your name from "Peter Serafinowicz" to "Peter Serafinovich" and why?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:29, archived)
# or
Why is your voice so deep? I like it.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:32, archived)
# furthermore
It's possible you get asked this a lot, but could you please tell Simon Pegg to stop thinking he's Hollywood and make some more Spaced please? I'm tired of waiting for a third series. I will hold you responsible for any mass murders that happen as a result of this delay.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, archived)
# I'm not sure if I want any more.
It's pretty well wrapped up as it is. More of something else that's excellent, please.

edit: Or more 99p Challenge. I'd settle for that.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:11, archived)
#
This^

It's awesome as it is. Any more series and it would end up like Lost or 24. And they are *shit*
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 22:05, archived)
# oh yeah
fixed - duh - his name is Polish I think. I can never remember how to spell it.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:33, archived)
# sorry
just being a git
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:34, archived)
# Chrzcerofinowichrzc
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, archived)
# Only if you promise not to put question marks at the end of a statement and blame me for it again.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:30, archived)
# Which is the largest wild animal you confidently think you could beat in a fight over scraps of food?
Keeping in mind that in this scenario civilisation has collapsed and you're fighting for your very survival. And yes, you are allowed to use a makeshift weapon.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, archived)
# Out of everything, what is your favourite?
Out of everything else, what is your worst?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, archived)
# What does "what is your worst" mean, Mu?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:41, archived)
# It's the opposite of "what is your favourite?"
Have you never spoken to a 6 year old before?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, archived)
# But worst isn't the opposite of favourite, bro.
I think you might want "least favourite"
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:44, archived)
# I want what I chose.
It's an adaption of "my favourite and my best"
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:47, archived)
# What happened between Look around you and your own sketch series that made you loose your funny?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:30, archived)
# Are you fucking tired of Star Wars questions?
and what's your favourite Darth Maul memory?

Click for bigger
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:30, archived)
# I was going to ask "What preparation did you have to do to get into character for reading the Darth Maul lines?"
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:35, archived)
# HaHa
Love the little tesco bag. :)
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 17:17, archived)
# What would you rather:
One finger and a thumb on both hands, or four fingers and no thumb?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:31, archived)
# Am I allowed
One finger and a thumb on the left hand but 4 fingers on the right hand?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 12:57, archived)
# Did I arks you?
Was his second series rejection at the BBC like Alan Partridge's?
Was there cheese involved?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:31, archived)
# Peter.
What do you propose to do about the oil spillage?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:31, archived)
# who are you?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:31, archived)
# Once you've washed your t-shirts, do you hang them and fold them once dry, or dry them and iron them?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:32, archived)
# Who the fuck irons
tshirts?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 12:58, archived)
# And underwear...
Do you iron your pants?

Also, what's the difference between a duck?

(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 9:49, archived)
# Who would win in a fight, Patrick Stewart, or James Corden?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:32, archived)
# Dear Peter,
can I please have your wife?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:32, archived)
# :D
Pfffft!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:10, archived)
# Quick trip to WIkiP
Her!! You must have done her with and used the Darth Maul - come on have ya?
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 14:44, archived)
# Strawberry or Lemon Bonbonbonbons?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:33, archived)
# ...have you tried Vimto flavoured ones too? I find them very moreish :D
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 9:33, archived)
# why does it burn when I pee?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:33, archived)
# What is your favourite foreign language?
Is it Swahili? WELL THAT'S NOT MINE! I like Turkish.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:34, archived)
# I like Swahili clocks
they're better.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:52, archived)
# Is Pele the best character you've ever played?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:34, archived)
# Would you rather have an intimate encounter with a mermaid whose top half is woman and bottom half fish, or vice versa?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:34, archived)
# neither
possibly NSFW -- especially if you work for PETA :: www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/42654/1255561536/catfishpron.jpg
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, archived)
# inny or outy?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:34, archived)
# Would you rather be rich or stupid?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:35, archived)
# You're thrust backwards in time to an indistinct place and period - do you:
A, attempt not to change anything
B, fuck around - things will probably turn out fine
?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:35, archived)
# B - go to page 53
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, archived)
# a moderator is monitoring this part of the site. Roll two dice. If the number is higher than your luck, turn to page 32, if it is lower, turn to 251.
If you are using a "second account", turn to page 25.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:39, archived)
# If you suffered from uncontrollable, rapid hair growth all over your body, how would you deal with it?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, archived)
# A cat has been sick in your hair whilst you sleep,
how do you feel about this?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:36, archived)
# How do you like your eggs?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, archived)
# What does Sir Macca think of your impression of him?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, archived)
# What's worse:
Answering these questions, or getting cat sick in your hair?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, archived)
# How would you improve the dog?
Let's pretend you're omnipotent.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, archived)
# You wake up to find cat sick in your hair, do you:
A, Poke around at it with your fingers, and give your fingers a bit of a smell
Or
B, Leave it - it probably counts as a haircare product anyway
?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:39, archived)
# a
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:43, archived)
# What do you like?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:40, archived)
# can you tell us anything exclusive and amazing about the new Yellow Submarine?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:41, archived)
# Is it
A: Better to have an uneducated opinion on something and say a lot

or

B: Have an educated opinion on something and say nothing?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:41, archived)
#
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:32, archived)
# What's your opinion on dry-cleaning shops?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, archived)
# I was in Shaun of the Dead but not on the same day as you so I missed your nude Winchester scenes
Did you go fully buff or was there a little flesh-coloured posing pouch protecting your dignity?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:42, archived)
# I don't think I was aware of this
I'm going to watch it again just to see if I spot you, then have a celebratory shuftie
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:44, archived)
# I'm actually a continuity blooper
When they set fire to the bar, I'm on both sides of it at once- I've got some screenshots on the laptop at home, I'll have to dig them out
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:46, archived)
# Who's worth following on twitter?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:43, archived)
# Popbitch are convinced Ringo only did the first series of Thomas The Tank Engine
and the rest are a "voice actor".

Admit it, it's you, isn't it?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:43, archived)
# it's michael angelis
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 23:13, archived)
# And Pierce Brosnan in 'The Great Discovery'
Thomas and James are racing, racing to the wharf...
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 3:52, archived)
# How come simon pegg was the lead character in spaced
and you weren't?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:44, archived)
# Charlie Brooker has been sick in your hair,
is this better or worse than cat sick?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:44, archived)
# Whose voice makes *you* go all wobbly
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:45, archived)
# I don't like you
what do you think of this?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:45, archived)
# Where's the future of comedy, stage, tv, internet or other?
Please explain your answer in a humourous way as if to prove a point.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:46, archived)
# My missus goes all wobbly, like Fran in Black Books when you talk
Has this ever happened in real life?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:46, archived)
# haha
my missus hates that voice so i annoy her with it from time to time
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:54, archived)
# Is your twitter account a way of engaging with fans or gathering ideas for later use? -Or does it have a life all of its own?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:46, archived)
# The look around you music was nice. What music have you recorded lately?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:48, archived)
# Could you do more stuff please? I'm growing to despise the sight of my television, even when it's off and I believe this to be a direct result of a lack of something resembling decent comedy being on.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:48, archived)
#
What's your b3ta username?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:48, archived)
# Have you ever farted in an art gallery and used an amusing voice to mask your identity whilst promptly leaving?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:48, archived)
# When you went all zombie in Shaun of the Dead
Could everyone on set see your manbits?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:51, archived)
#
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:54, archived)
# Yes yes, I know now
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:55, archived)
# Peter.
I am writing a Mills & Boon novel and I'm looking for a romantic euphamism for the vagina. My friend Frank says 'growler' is perfectly acceptable. Do you agree or could you suggest an alternative?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:56, archived)
# 'Janet'
wins every time.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:35, archived)
# Thanks but I've used 'snapper' now.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:54, archived)
# Cackle monster
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:30, archived)
# Hairy Jeff
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 14:44, archived)
# I knew someone called Janet
she looked like a discarded Jack o'lantern that was carved by a blind lunatic with a plastic ruler and then been left in a warm cupboard for a week.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:11, archived)
# cock scarer
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 10:35, archived)
# Hippo's Yawn
Or (courtesy of ED) I've always liked "Penis eating hate tunnel".
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 16:38, archived)
# Who would you most like to boink - Daisy or Twist?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:56, archived)
# If you had to be a television presenter for the rest of your life but you could only interview enemies of your dad, would you do it?
small caveat: the owner of the television station is your dad.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:56, archived)
# ahahahahaha
best question ever.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:58, archived)
# Magnificent!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:12, archived)
# This
should be a compulsory question in every Q&A situation.

*click*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:29, archived)
# If you'd have said grandfather you have been spot on!
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 14:46, archived)
# Which is your favourite Mr Man and what role in society should they have?
i.e. Mr Tickle should be a police man and become the long arm of the law
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:57, archived)
# Mr Strong's a real square.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:59, archived)
# Can you ASCII your own face?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:58, archived)
# Out of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright,
who annoyed you the most and who is the tenderest lover?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:00, archived)
# *waggles eyebrows*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:36, archived)
# Which Dictator do you admire most?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:02, archived)
# what's it like nobbing sarah alexander?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:02, archived)
# Peter.
You know those rich blokes off that Dragon's Den? Well as an A list celebrity and probably the best comedy writer around, could you ask them to send me a few bob? kthnksbye x
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:05, archived)
# I was in a bar in Norway last night and people asked me if I knew Look Around You
and it made me wonder why you've not made anymore, so I'm going to take this opportunity to ask why you've not made anymore given that even Norwegians like it.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:05, archived)
# You were in a bar in Norway?
your poor, poor wallet...
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:39, archived)
# It's true, I feel extremely poor
especially as I was drinking imported Paulaner. I've got absolutely no idea what it was costing me but I'd wager it was about £7 a glass. I'd be stunned if it was less and not at all surprised to learn it was £8 a glass.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:46, archived)
# Your dancing at the start of your show was quite impressive
do you like to dance and what is your favourite style?
Have you tried en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surra_de_Bunda
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:06, archived)
# Can I have a poo?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:06, archived)
# Only if it's at Paul's house
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 22:06, archived)
# If an owl and a pussycat went to sea
do you reckon the owl would eat the pussycat, the pussycat would eat the owl, or the owl would just fly away and the pussycat would sit there looking forlornly at the water and occasionally dipping in a paw to test if it's still wet, and mewing sadly when it finds it still is?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:06, archived)
# XD
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 15:32, archived)
# If you were offered a role on Peep Show would you take it and what kind of character would you be?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:07, archived)
# You were the voice of Darth Maul in Star Wars Episode 1. How did you possibly fit inside Ray Park's mouth?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:08, archived)
# And apart form the bleeding obvious...
what was wrong with his voice? Did he have a sore throat? Bad breath or summint?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 9:39, archived)
# Do you think there's any strong evidence for f(R) gravity or is it just total bullshit?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:09, archived)
# How good are you at Google?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:10, archived)
# How much money has your normal voice made for you?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:10, archived)
# Who?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:11, archived)
# who does your hair?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:15, archived)
# How about
Why do you look so much like Christopher Walken?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:43, archived)
# Fuck,
I never noticed that before. Ask him this, hard
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:46, archived)
# Does your father look like Christopher Walken?
Have you ever met him? Does he still have a watch shoved up his arse?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 9:41, archived)
# When will there be
another Radio Spiritworld?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:21, archived)
# Peter, in this hot sunny weather, how can I keep my window open without pigeons invading my privacy and peering at me in my sleep with their beady eyes and horribly deformed feet?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:21, archived)
# My first name is also Peter, but my middle last name is very boring and easy to spell
i am jealous of your names, can you make up a more interesting one like yours please thants?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:22, archived)
# If forced at gunpoint, in what order would you shag the Krankies?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:22, archived)
# how bloody tall are you anyway?!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:25, archived)
# I read that as
"seeing as the Richard Herring interview went, well I figured I'd do another"
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:26, archived)
# have you worked with dylan moran recently?
that sitcom thing you did together was ace
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:26, archived)
# have you ever been to bude?
i hear it's quite nice
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:26, archived)
# I have.
It's ok I guess.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:28, archived)
# squirrels or tits?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:27, archived)
# do you smoke and drink stella artois :D
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:28, archived)
# I heard a rumour that you are hiding Osama Bin Laden in your garden and feeding him nothing but dates.
Is there any truth to this?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:28, archived)
#
do they know it's christmas time at all?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:29, archived)
# Is it "wicz" as in "wicz", or "wicz" as in "wicz"?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:30, archived)
# How about changing your surname so this is no longer a problem?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 9:43, archived)
# Can you buy me Richard Herrings Book?
Please?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:40, archived)
# you often look either really tired or really bored on those panel shows
are you having trouble sleeping?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:41, archived)
# Or really stoned
Like really, really stoned.

Ask him how stoned he normally is before he goes on a panel show
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:48, archived)
# god, he was a mess on 'you have been watching..'
a while back, he looked like he'd just woken up after being asleep on a kebab.
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 15:21, archived)
# .
How do you think the internet has already effected / will change comedy in the future?
What is your favourite thing you remember seeing on TV in the past that no one has yet uploaded to YouTube?
What is the best joke you have ever seen in an otherwise rubbish TV show?
Which roles have you auditioned for, but didn't get?
Any tricks for coping with writers block (if you ever get it)?
If you got a financially equal offer for a sketch show on TV and for doing sketches for the web, which would you choose?
Are you aware which of your jokes will go down the best before you tell them, or does it sometimes surprise you which are popular and which aren't?





(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:42, archived)
# I like your joke egg sessions that you do on Twitter. When you ask for words and phrases, what is the most common word that is asked? And have you ever tried to create a joke from a word which ended up going nowhere?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:47, archived)
# Is this really you answering these questions,
or is it just your brother who looks alarmingly like you?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:49, archived)
# I need a way to escape from the nuns at Our Lady of the Jumps to Conclusions.
Can you help me?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:52, archived)
# What is the answer for 14 across in tomorrow's Guardian Cryptic Crossword?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:52, archived)
# How much of you is a Jew?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:53, archived)
# Please could you do Frank Spencer?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:53, archived)
# How much of your success do you attribute to having a rather deep voice?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:55, archived)
# money or your life?
this is a stick-up:D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:58, archived)
# Peter.
I am a stand up comedian. I live quite close to Soham in Cambridgeshire and therefore half my set is unusable locally. It seems they are still a bit touchy about that thing that happened here. Could you suggest something else that the area is famous for I can take the piss out of and avoid having to bring up the rail explosion of 1944.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:01, archived)
# :D
This=Genius!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:04, archived)
# You have worked in several productions for the BBC. When driving to White City from central London, do you recommend the often crowded Westway, or the more numerously intersectioned Bayswater Road?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:02, archived)
# do you sometimes find yourself marvelling at the utter badness of modern comedy shows
and ponder whistfully to yourself about the incomprehensible sequence of events that could have allowed them to be made?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:11, archived)
# You've boarded the wrong train
and by the time you've realised, you're standing on a desolate and forlorn railway platform in Hull.

What's all that about then?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:17, archived)
# I've never a knack to do accents and voices
got any tips?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:24, archived)
# Is it true you like American things now?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:33, archived)
# How do you pronounce your name?
Is it PEE-TUR?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:45, archived)
# Also if I met you in public I would probably forget your real name and call you Dwayne Bensey. Would this offend you?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:50, archived)
# You were awesome in Look Around You. Had you ever considered a career in science?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:46, archived)
# How did you begin your career as a comedian?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:59, archived)
# You seem rather clever, so. . . .
Will string theory ever be able to reconcile quantum mechanics and general relativity, or will the two always be at odds? Also, is 'string theory' even a decent name for a theory, or is it crap?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:08, archived)
# I can't think of a good question, but I'm a massive fan of yourself and Richard Herring.
Please can you ask Graham Linehan to do the next b3ta interview, thus creating the three most awesome b3ta newsletters ever? (Sorry Rob)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:29, archived)
# if you blow into a dogs face it doesn't like it..
yet when you take him out in a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

discuss
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:43, archived)
# My dog doesn't mind you blowing into his face.
He just looks at you as if you are stupid.
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 10:24, archived)
# it's because the air out of the car
window doesn't smell like grandpa's cock
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 20:08, archived)
# do you think atheism is a non-prophet organization?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:47, archived)
# Peter, are there more series of The Peter Serafinowicz Show in the pipeline,
or have the BBC opted for producing more shit telly instead? If there aren't any more to come, do you ever watch literally any of BBC3's output and feel you've been fucked over?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:48, archived)
# if you died then came back as a zombie...who would be the first person you'd eat?
and why?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:50, archived)
# what was your nickname at school?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:54, archived)
# Brown Sauce or Red Sauce?
(The immortal question.)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:19, archived)
# Any chance of a
Dark side Sat Nav voice?

Also, Look Around You. Utter brilliance, any more in the pipeline?

As a former Lab Technician, I loved the Look Around You Experiment with the boiled egg, your poor hand as you reached in to the boiling water. That had me in tears.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:58, archived)
# Pi or Pie, and why?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:37, archived)
# Hello.
Please could you do more of the Two Dannys? That version of the Ghostbusters theme you did is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:44, archived)
# Were you aware an anagram of your name is..
A Creepier Fonts Wiz, i feel this could also be an occupation
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:04, archived)
# Voice over triviagasm
I love, fucking LOVE, smugly telling bastards that Onslow out of Keeping Up Appearances did the voice of Paul McCartney in Yellow Submarine, almost as much as I love spunking out the fact that Uncle Phil from Fresh Prince of Bel Air was the voice of Shredder in Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. Can you top these facts?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:20, archived)
# Can Badgers Swim ?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:40, archived)
# I'm not racist but...
what's your favourite day of the week? I bet it's Wednesday.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 23:04, archived)
# Do you have a joke about Marie Curie?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 23:28, archived)
# What's the point of thread worms that live in your gut and wait until you're asleep before they lay eggs on your arsehole?
What sort of existence is that?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 23:52, archived)
#
Did you expect that you'd become so popular on Twitter?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 0:46, archived)
# did you want to do the physical acting of darth maul as well as the voice? would you have kicked anakin skywalker? really hard?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 1:45, archived)
# Who are you?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 3:17, archived)
# Peter
What in your mind is scarier?

A dog with a human mouth that follows you around silently for the rest of your life?

Or a dog without any kind of mouth that just pops up occasionaly and tries to bark at you?

and why?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 8:05, archived)
# Satisfy my curiosity...
You seem rather too good at playing mean or unpleasant characters. Are you big old bully in real life too?

I bet you are. I bet you used to eat other boys' lunches in front of them.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 8:05, archived)
# yeah, true...
did you give Simon Pegg a Chinese burn?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 9:50, archived)
# the Beatles
they were a popular beat combo from the 1960's) if you could choose the order of their demise, who would go first to last?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 10:16, archived)
# hell
You die and end up in Comedian Hell. What's it like?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 10:25, archived)
# Peter
When working on the critically acclaimed situation comedy, 'hardware', Did you ever steal Reg Holdsdworth's glasses and if so, did he, as I imagine, look like a mole without them on?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 11:46, archived)
# You've just knocked one out.
Do you...

a) Jump in the shower straight away

b) Vaguely wipe your hands and carry on with your daily business.

c) Stroke the cat
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:10, archived)
# You're a cat
and someone wipes something sticky on you which matts your sleek fur. What do?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:13, archived)
# If there were another stupid question here
what would your answer be?

Please show your workings in the space provided.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:14, archived)
# Do we all know your secret shame?
and what are we going to do about it.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:17, archived)
# Have you ever used your impressions in a place other than the show?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:23, archived)
# You often seem very chilled out and laid back when appearing on TV panel shows.
How much of this is down to illegal substances? And be honest - it's not like anyone important will ever read this interview.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:53, archived)
# In your opinion, who is funnier;
Richard Herring or Stewart Lee?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:54, archived)
# What's the greatest idea for a joke/comedy series/character that you've came up with, but been unable to use?
And why weren't you able to use it?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 13:55, archived)
# What's the largest/most useful bodypart you would trade for everlasting fame and success?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:04, archived)
# 1) - You're in a car... What is your favourite speed, and why?
2) - Chewits or Fruitella?

3) - You go round your nannas house for some jam sandwiches and Ribena, then you go for a poo. You discover that your granddad has hidden a really naughty hardcore porn mag behind the cistern, do you have a wank over it or not?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:05, archived)
# What is always guaranteed to make you laugh?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:06, archived)
# How much would someone have to pay you to change your surname to 'File'?
And where would you like the money transferred to?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:08, archived)
# What's the best advice you've ever been given?
Or, alternatively, what advice would you give to the unwashed masses of B3ta?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:11, archived)
# Which is more important to you; a regular income or artistic integrity?
Keeping in mind the fact you've done ad work in the past...
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:19, archived)
# I once masturbated so ferociously that I almost melted my foreskin... almost!
So with that in mind, how would YOU attempt to break the awkward silence at a funeral?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:27, archived)
# England
They really were shit, weren't they?

Will you, like me, be secretly cheering on Slovenia next Wednesday to put the lads out of their misery?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:51, archived)
# Daddy or Chips?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 15:52, archived)
# Why the fuck is James Corden on tv so much?
More to the point, why the fuck is he on tv at all?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 18:38, archived)
# Who is to blame for modern comedy shows being aimed primarily at the clinically retarded?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 18:41, archived)
# Pfft, I can answer that
BBC Three
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 21:37, archived)
# ...or even, the majority of all tv made?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 7:25, archived)
# Has life ever given you lemons, and if so, did you make lemonade?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 18:48, archived)
# Which of the comedy panel pseudo-quiz shows is your favourite to appear on?
Oh and why don't they invite you back, do you do something unspeakably terrible in the green room?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 18:55, archived)
# How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:35, archived)
# I loved your part in I'm Alan Partridge. What's it like working with such an infamous character?
Do you have any amusing anecdotes from that particular performance?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:37, archived)
# I don't mean to be rude, Who are you?
and
Daddy or chips?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 19:50, archived)
# Think both have been asked before mate
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 21:46, archived)
# ahh yes but last tiem i asked Adam buxton and my question got through
no harm in trying
(see the link in my profile)
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 22:53, archived)
# No, I mean they've both been asked before in this thread
See above
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 2:45, archived)
# Please give a summary of your life
using the medium of the limerick.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:31, archived)
# Should there be another circle of hell...
...for those who watch the Ricky Gervais show?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:35, archived)
# What should I make for dinner?
Please be quick, I'm hungry.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 20:57, archived)
# Good guy or Wank?
* Tom
* Jerry
* The driver of the last taxi you travelled in
* C3PO
* Mr Batchelor (of supernoodles fame)
* George Lucas


...any others?
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 21:25, archived)
# You should add
Peter Steraphenarenawitckz to the list.
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 2:13, archived)
# Have you seen the remake of the TV series "V"
There's a guy in it that looks like you, but with a beard and a comedy Australian tough guy accent.
www.imdb.com/media/rm1594526976/nm0582351
Are there any other films or tv shows you almost appeared in and wished you had?
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 8:47, archived)
# do you shave on a regular basis
or is it more ad-hoc depending on what work you have on that week?

what kind of razor do you use, cheap bic, gillette mach-eleventy or proper old straight razor?

do you get grumbled at by the missus if you haven't shaved because 'you're all spikey'.
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 15:16, archived)
# Did you think that the scene in Spaced when Simon Pegg freaks out/burns his star wars stuff because of the Phantom Menace was:
A] a valid reaction to George Lucas' besmirching of an important cinematic series?
B] a stupid childish overreaction by someone crediting Star Wars as being more than just kids films?
And was it in the TV show meant to be funny or a serious point? I believe Simon Pegg actually feels anger over it to the point of "George Lucas raped my childhood"TM, which a psychologist would no doubt simply point out was his own refusal to admit that he had put too much importance on a popular but trivial film.
And finally does Simon Pegg hate you for having a part in the phantom menace?
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 16:58, archived)
# Could you tell
Phantom Menace was going to be shit?
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 19:37, archived)
# Not many degrees of seperation but.....
You were in Couples Retreat with Kirsten Bell, who was in Forgetting Sarah Marshall with Mila Kunis....

Which one would you have?

Sarah Marshall or Mila Kunis?

(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 21:14, archived)
# Junkies
Was it purely the drug-related content that prevented Junkies being made for TV? I still remember and laugh at Big Al listing his Hepatitis strains or Sal mis-stressing Rolling Stones at least once a week.
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 22:01, archived)
# Hulk vs Superman - who wins & why?
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 23:06, archived)
# You have six kittens and they all died of hair failure, On the same day. Your Birthday.
Would you cry, masturbate, both or something else?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 0:14, archived)
# Have you ever smoked Oregano?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 0:33, archived)
# Do you think they should leagalise Oregano?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 0:33, archived)
# Which would you rather have hit you in the face;
Mike Tyson's fist (at high speed), or Nelson Mandela's old, sweaty ballsack (at any speed)?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 2:17, archived)
# Did Simon Pegg lord it over you that he got to blow your brains out in Shaun of the Dead?
and is it a bit weird watching that scene? (as in, "Oh, that's what it would look like if I got shot in the head"...)
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 9:18, archived)
# What was your favourite "science" from the first series of Look Around You?
Were there any "science" ideas that you liked, but ended up not being used?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 9:35, archived)
# I am a fan of pirates
and pirate related thing, what's the best way I can imperonate one to delight the masses with?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 10:27, archived)
# Did you ever cop off with Joan Collins - There was definitely some chemistry between you and her on HIGNFY
if so, what were her tits like?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 10:33, archived)
# and did you finger her?
(, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 11:31, archived)
# Why wasn't the second series of 'Look Around You' not nearly any less rubbish than the first?
And if you had to do a third series, what genre of show would it be?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 10:59, archived)
# How can you not like the first series of Look Around You?
Its genius. Although I suppose you have to be of a certain age...

The Iron episode is probably my favourite.
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 13:12, archived)
# Driver Dan
Does Driver Dan do requests and can we expect any Jeffrey Archer books in the next series?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 11:04, archived)
# Re: That Hot Chip video you apparently directed
If you could destroy just one boy band with energy flowing from your gaping mouth - which would it be and whyyyyyy?

I will accept a pick and mix answer of 4-5 assorted boy band members.
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 11:07, archived)
# I have a box
I put two kittens in the box
I take out one kitten and put in a cauliflower
I put in two more cauliflowers, remove the kitten and add a canary
The canary flies out again, so I put broccoli in the box, take out a cauliflower and throw it as far as I can.
I put the kitten in the box, take all the vegetables out and make a soup.

Where did you put my lithium?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 11:30, archived)
# Hi Peter
1. Do you think of yourself as an actor, a comedian, or a comic actor?

2. If you got offered a contract for a year or more in a soap ('Stenders, Corrie or Emmerdale), would you take it, even though it meant your subsequnt career was limited to short run West End musicals, dressing up like a tinfoil condom in Hole in the Wall, and identikit roles in other soaps?

3. What "proper" job do your parents still secretly hope you'll get?

4. How come you've never really prospered in British telly the way transparently less talented people like - say - Vernon Kaye have?

5. What is the most salacious showbiz gossip you've ever been privy to?

6. Do you find yourself competing for lots of the same jobs with Simon Greenall? (and if you do, can you ask him if he'll do the next next b3ta interview when you see him please?)
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 12:22, archived)
# Geoff off Byker Grove; Tom Selleck; Salvador Dali; Tosh off The Bill.
Who has the most glorious moustache?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 14:37, archived)
# what about Suchet as Poirot?
And Jimmy Edwards
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:43, archived)
# Both excellent moustaches
I also forgot Merv Hughes and Dick Strawbridge off Scrapheap Challenge
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:18, archived)
# and the bald guy from Mythbusters
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 21:32, archived)
#
Dwayne Benzy was funny. Was Darth Maul funnier? ALSO why didn't you use Dwayne's voice for Pete in Shaun of the DEad?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:34, archived)
#
Why was Internet Ham from your sketch show so funny?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:36, archived)
# Have you ever
put all your underwear on at once and strutted about the room as if you had a really fat arse?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 15:45, archived)
# Hello Peter - I'm rather late with these questions,
and I wouldn't be surprised if you haven't read this far, but here goes:

Has your ability to do impressions ever got you into trouble, or saved you from a difficult situation? (like getting into a fight at school, say...)

Your pastiche of 70s and 80s science programmes was affectionate and hilariously accurate. Which presenters from those eras would you like to see back on the telly?

If you could re-make any film in another style, which film would you choose and how would you change it?

Yours hopefully,

(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:25, archived)
# How many times
do I have to ask you Peter? Hot Jon?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 17:05, archived)
# Hot Chip vid
Did Hot Chip approach you to make their vid? Or did you seek them out?

Do you feel guilty for fooling so many American teenagers that the 'I Feel Better' vid was really for a plastic boy band?

Who the hell was brave enough to sign off on the idea? Did you cast whatshisface (awesome casting btw) in the lead before pitching the concept? Or did some madman just take a wild punt and come away proved right?

What was your production schedule and budget?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 21:38, archived)
# As Peter Serafinowicz awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself in his bed transformed into a gigantic insect
Discuss
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 22:15, archived)
# how much has having a bit of a silly foreign second name helped your career?
(, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 23:27, archived)
# Have you and South Park Studios ever discussed a posible return of Darth Chef?
:)
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 1:06, archived)
# Sadly, Frank Sidebottom died this morning.
How much of a loss is he to the comedy circuit.

Have you ever considered offering to take over the mantle of the No 1 plaster-of-paris mask wearing comedian in the UK?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 7:29, archived)
# Is there any utensil in the world greater than the spork?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 9:45, archived)
# Canned Laughter
How did you feel when the Beeb put canned laughter on your show during the re-runs? For me, it was them basically admitting they had no fucking idea what comedy meant anymore and suggested they never 'got' your show in the first place. Personally, I was in tears first time I watched it. Genius stuff. x
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 11:42, archived)
#
What's the best bad spelling/pronunciation you've had for your surname?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 12:43, archived)
# BAFTAS
We were both at the Video Game BAFTAS a few years back and I was perving your ass something chronic. Since learned you're straight (boo), but did you notice me? Did you? did you, eh? Say you did!
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:08, archived)
# Have you ever considered cashing it all in
and going to live like a king in some godforsaken hell-hole of a country?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 16:44, archived)
# If you were a Nineteenth Century Circus freak, what would be your freakish power?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:27, archived)
# Running Wilde
Is Running Wilde going to be good? I've seen the clip of you on the tiny horse which is very funny, but the non-you-on-a-tiny-horse clips online are a bit weak.
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 17:31, archived)
# why is there no new series of the Peter Serafinowics show?
i really enjoyed the first series and id love to see more
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 19:02, archived)
# This!
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 20:03, archived)
# Who are you unable to impersonate successfully, but wish you could?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 20:45, archived)
# The world is about to end
and a 'space-ark' has been built which can hold every person on Earth except for 4 people. You are given the task of choosing which 4 stay behind.

Who would you pick?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 21:36, archived)
# How long is your penis?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 21:40, archived)
# Cats or dogs...and which one tastes better?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 22:08, archived)
# Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic
In Black Books your reading of the shipping forecast had quite a profound effect on Fran, would you do it for real if they asked, or is there some other british institution you'd prefer to sneak onto in character?
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 22:10, archived)
# Does Peter think that the Phantom Menace would have been better
if he'd done all the other characters voices too?

Especially Anakin and Jar Jar...
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 22:50, archived)
# Hi Peter
Would you consider joining your brother-in-law Graham Lineham with your wife Sarah on a sitcom show? I think that would be great.
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 22:59, archived)
# Mr S
My wife fancies you, or your voice at least. her gussets would moisten noticeably if you would be good enough to record yoursefl saying her name (louise) in the manner of your saying "Fran" in that episode of black books.
(, Tue 22 Jun 2010, 23:22, archived)
# Does Peter Serafinowicz tie a neater hair thin weavers hitch?
I imagine he’s all fingers.
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 8:59, archived)
# You have a very unusual name
but amazingly, I know somebody with the same name - Peter Wilkinson... do you know him?
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:07, archived)
# If you could punch any animal in the zoo, what would it be?
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 9:51, archived)
# Me? I would have thought you'd prefer to ask Mr Serafinowicz.
Now you mention it, I'd punch my neighbour's cat (although I don't know why I should treat it to a day out at the zoo first).
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:00, archived)
# It's Wednesday
more than likely this question is going to get ignored but fuck it.

I get the impression that television people don't get your sense of humour? You can defend them if you want.


Sometimes you look like Bernard Bresslaw.
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 10:54, archived)
# If you killed James Corden (as I imagine you'd like to, who doesn't)
Would you:

A. Bury his bloated corpse in the garden

B. Leave it on a beach for greenpeace to find, they would of course
assume it was the bizarre mutant offspring of Chris Moyles and a
whale.

C: Maybe not kill him completely as murder is a bit naughty.
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 13:02, archived)
# Describe for us
your favourite item of clothing.
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 17:11, archived)
# if you pass a log in the forest
do you count the rings or wipe your arse?
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 17:51, archived)
#
Why aren't you following me? I had valid reasons during the follower increase. I cut off my legs to loose the weight you didn't require.
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 19:38, archived)
# More Butterfield
At work the Butterfield sketch from your Show has become something of a staple, if ever we need a bit of cheering up we whack on some Butterfield. Are we likely to see any more of him?
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 19:43, archived)
# Have you ever eaten the ocean?
(, Wed 23 Jun 2010, 22:06, archived)
# One episode of Look Around You featured computer game animations made by B3tans.
Would you consider commissioning any more work from us?
We'd do it for free, just to get on telly.
(, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 2:09, archived)
# Id want paying
in gold dabloons.
(, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 23:25, archived)
# Can you butter a butterwug...
Or should you touch it’s little shmoo? Keep the answer fresh but go easy on the curb
(, Thu 24 Jun 2010, 12:09, archived)
# the anguish
There is a sketch in which you play one half of a couple who never argues. They are at a dinner party with Eddie out of how not to live your life and his missus.

At one point you go to the window and let out the best "Fucking Hell!" I have ever heard anywhere (and I have seen aeroplanes crash).

Where did you draw it from?

(, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 3:47, archived)
# Why aren't you more scouse?
Scouse is gerr-eight
(, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 8:35, archived)
# What was your nickname at school
and did you ever punch anyone for using it?
(, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 14:23, archived)
# 3D Telly
Will the added dimension make American comedy funny to non-Americans?
(, Fri 25 Jun 2010, 16:28, archived)
#

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:12, archived)
# I wouldn't mind exploring her tunnel...
* If you know what I mean...
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:13, archived)
# you quite like spelunking?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:18, archived)
# RIS
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:23, archived)
#
have knowledges

I just like the word as it sounds roood :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:24, archived)
# R Icy
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:25, archived)
# It is one of the 100 uses of the phallus.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:24, archived)
# I like this very much.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:42, archived)
# *You want to put your winky...
in her cha-cha?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:22, archived)
# Make them kiss!
Teehee.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:14, archived)
# sounds like a shameless way of garnering hits!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:20, archived)
# Love the joke in panel 3
Now cue a slowly crumbling underground temple with spear brandishing monster as Kat and Van escape just in the nick of time to watch it collapse behind them.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:18, archived)
# LOL
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:23, archived)
# what on earth are all the papers pinned to the walls?!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:26, archived)
# pages of jollyjack's sketchbook
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:29, archived)
[challenge entry] I need to have a session again to try and get uptodate with this comic..
ho hum.. in the mean time have a post pander Compo repost


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:28, archived)
# I came here to kick ass and plant trees
and i just planted my tree
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:38, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:33, archived)
# :S the squid...
hope he isnt dead yet. heh tenticles
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:26, archived)
[challenge entry] oh no, HappyToast is doing his serious face!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, archived)
# *moons*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:12, archived)
# I marked Green Britain day by paving over a garden.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:13, archived)
# top satiring, sire :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:14, archived)
# I will be away over the weekend so will miss Real Photo Sunday...
Can I just say, this has taken me far too long, in fact the whole day (off sick). I have put some "click for bigness" links and a link to my original artwork, it would be great to see where this b3ta-Meme-Bus gets to.

& &

* Have now added a Full-Frontal view that could fit on the FP?

Click for 1st bigger picture (194 kb)
Click for 2nd bigger picture (194 kb)
Click for ?Make your own? (344 kb)

Also New template with added Freebase
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:44, archived)
# ha ha :D
A proper "sunshine bus", (top card modelling by the way)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:45, archived)
# Thanks
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:15, archived)
# :D
wot no freebase?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:46, archived)
# Freebase has his deniers.
Although I've seen more hate towards Henry than Freebase overall.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:48, archived)
# :( how can you deny this??
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:52, archived)
# Hey, I'm a supporter.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:55, archived)
# me too :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:03, archived)
# fuck yeah
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:04, archived)
# Freebase will survive without inclusion.
He's been around a long time after all.


And woo! Loving the bus.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:03, archived)
# and he's still on fucking fire!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:09, archived)
# A masterful use of alternatebases here.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:10, archived)
# This just made me office lol like a fiend
and now my boss knows all about freebase... AND APPROVES!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:20, archived)
# hahahah! good lordy.....
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:47, archived)
# Ha ha
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:34, archived)
# haha
first one of these to raise a lol
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:56, archived)
#

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:41, archived)
# That's hot!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:28, archived)
# ^this!
but woo otherwise, wobbly!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:50, archived)
# There is some room infront of Sturdy Girl
If you would like to add him?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:16, archived)
# Done ¬
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:28, archived)
# Hooray for Freebase.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 17:42, archived)
# Yay!
Top meme-ing!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:47, archived)
# Ahahahah, awesome.
Did you model it yourself, or have you nicked a template?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:47, archived)
# * I may have borrowed a rough design but it was bright yellow and without all the shading and Memes
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:49, archived)
# What's on the roof?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:56, archived)
# Click the build your own template and see for yourself
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:57, archived)
# *masturbates*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:59, archived)
# Roof Cat
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:59, archived)
# hehehe
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:47, archived)
# Yes yes yes.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:47, archived)
# Real Photo Sunday is shite
Give it up.

Your memebus, however, is ace!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:48, archived)
# Ooo Ta!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:24, archived)
# All aboard
How much?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:49, archived)
# It's free!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:12, archived)
# Arf!
Good stuff.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:50, archived)
# Its the meme bus!
But where will it stop? Whats a the sign of the lolly pop?

*cot death*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:58, archived)
# Hull is the traditional destination.
You're right on track there.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:06, archived)
# ^ THIS
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:14, archived)
# V good :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:02, archived)
# that's ruddy marvellous
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, archived)
# Thank you... From you that is a real complement.
:D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:15, archived)
# 'mazin.
Woo!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:13, archived)
# That is fantastic!
But it is missing 3 things:
A shark A helicopter and a bridge
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:23, archived)
# ^ That was going to be my next project!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:25, archived)
# Sorry I wasn't meaning to deprive you of a project.
The shark Helicopter picture is my favourite meme :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:29, archived)
# Yeah, but they don't really lend themselves to be on or in a bus?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, archived)
# bus on the bridge
shark in the water

our shark
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:45, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 19:53, archived)
# ^ NICE
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:49, archived)
# :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:27, archived)
#
Choplifter? I don't know why, that word just automagically popped nto my head.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 1:28, archived)
# Close but no cigar
This is a game called Helichopper.
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 1:06, archived)
# Great work sir
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:25, archived)
# Thank you..
I particularly like the way Smug Bastard is hanging his leg out of the window.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:27, archived)
# The van could've been a Viva and it's missing a lime, but this is fantastic.
Top work!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:27, archived)
# Utterly fantastic...
... but your lawn could do with a mow
*Click*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:37, archived)
# Ha ha ha... you said Mow!
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 15:58, archived)
# Shoulda painted it with b3ta greys! Grrrrrr!...
....maybe I'll make mine custom.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 18:39, archived)
# Have fun with it..
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:52, archived)
# Should've been an ambulance :-)
Excellent work, although if you added all the b3ta memes it'd end up more like Teh Quo's tour bus!
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 11:10, archived)
# ^ I did that for my 5th post...

(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 16:00, archived)
# Where's Joey?
what a minibus without Joey Deacon on it?....or was it a belm too far?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:35, archived)
# Ahhhh.....
Sorry Zuffle, nowhere to put him now...
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 22:51, archived)
# A thing of marvel and wonder and of course *clickies*
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 12:02, archived)
# I like that in the fixed version
sturdy girl is getting ready to murder freebase. It's about time.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 14:15, archived)
# ^ This
(, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 16:00, archived)
[challenge entry] meh


(internet mouse seems a bit slow so this may redex) It's crap anyway so maybe that's a good thing
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:23, archived)
# DRINK
Feck!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:30, archived)
# This made me chuckle...
...I couldn't help it.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:34, archived)
# I know, I was that soldier
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:41, archived)
# I really like that Happytoast's post about everyone saying he always wins the compo
is winning the compo.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:45, archived)
# your end of week report is here
some of you have done very well, and for others I'm afraid I'm going to be sending letters to your parents

www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue433/
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:05, archived)
# *bends over and awaits slipper*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:07, archived)
# *figs*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:08, archived)
# *peaches*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:11, archived)
# hello sexy
how are you doing?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:11, archived)
# *scrobbles*
Good ta you?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:18, archived)
# *glomps*
not too bad
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:19, archived)
# *de-beans*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:11, archived)
# *courgettes*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:12, archived)
# There is a line of decency and that just crossed it!
*shocked outraged excited*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:13, archived)
# COR!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:14, archived)
# Poligen Ha!


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:18, archived)
# BRAW!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:19, archived)
# YAY!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:07, archived)
# I'm sure my parents will donate enough money for a new school library if I *get* good grades.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:09, archived)
# Huzzah!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:10, archived)
# I don't have any parents
I was born in a tube
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:11, archived)
# I bet you're named after one of the underground stations
as well, aren't you? People often do that when children are born in odd places.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:13, archived)
# h
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:17, archived)
# i

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:18, archived)
# c
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:23, archived)
# 9

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:24, archived)
# Her full name is Chorizo Bank Wagon


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:18, archived)
# Could have been worse I suppose,
she could have named her after the train driver. Who was called Bill. Cockney Bill Smith. Slight limp on account of that injury he got doing national service. Never seen the like, a baby born on a train. Apart from the time that african bloke brought a goat on at Tottenham Court Road. He retires next year, but he's got a lot of good memories, apart from that tramp that fell on the lines.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:29, archived)
# He shouldn't have reversed back over that tramp though
I didn't even know tube trains could do that. It was a right mess, the cleaning staff gave him daggers for weeks afterwards. Mind you, the goat wasn't much better. It's funny how time flies, but he's still got his memories, they can't take those away.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:36, archived)
# *forges report card*
*goes back to playing Global Thermonuclear War*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:11, archived)
# aaawk not another letter :(
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:11, archived)
# words
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:11, archived)
# *leaves in bottom of bag for 12 months*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:13, archived)
# Herring gave a good account of himself
whatever that means
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:13, archived)
# WASPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:15, archived)
# Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorri-fucking-bllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:19, archived)
# That reminds me:
whoever asked him about the prunes/grapes- the answer is in this week's Answer Me This! podcast.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:17, archived)
# Hahaha xray calendar. ace!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:15, archived)
# The Anne Sellors film & television cv
is wonderful.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:16, archived)
# does it feature an Lacrosse Bitches?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:17, archived)
# everything features an Lacrosse Bitch

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:35, archived)
# *checks*
Ha, yes. Yes it is.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:18, archived)
# haha! It sure is....
that link was one of the first things I posted on b3ta:
www.b3ta.com/links/6385

Should have let Rob know about it sooner!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:29, archived)
# Is this why I couldn't post any new messages last night?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:28, archived)
# no
you were being bad, that's why
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:21, archived)
# haha - It's nice to be getting a report
rather than writing them - cheers, Rob!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:32, archived)
# well i'll just collect the post before them
what do you think of that!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:08, archived)
[challenge entry] Banana Banana
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:02, archived)
# Haha
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:02, archived)
#
   !
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:03, archived)
# is this a King Kurt reference?

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:20, archived)
# come on boys, jump in the van
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:51, archived)
[challenge entry] the merger wasn't quite as beneficial as either party hoped
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:37, archived)
# He's blushing because he's shy.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:38, archived)
# He's a ruddy-faced englshman and he gave those
blasted yanks NO QUARTER with his sincere apologies yesterday. NO QUARTER I SAY.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:43, archived)
# So he didn't give the Yanks 25cents?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:47, archived)
# You bring oil right to their doorstep and its
MOAN MOAN MOAN. Honestly.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# haha
Just imagine if Texaco had an oil spill in the English Channel they would say they were doing us a favour and we should pay them! :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:51, archived)
# Free oil!
I'd barrel it
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:53, archived)
# Ha ha!
*grabs sieve*

To the beach!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:59, archived)
# As much as you can eat!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:04, archived)
# Been reading the results of his interrogation in the grauniad, most amusing
As a TJ: Does anyone do iphone/ipad apps? someone at work is looking for one and asked me if I know anyone...it's likely to be well-paid CV-tastic work

Gaz me for contact info

[edit] not my horrible work, it's the other one that's lovely
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:42, archived)
# hahahah
grooovy
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:45, archived)
# tony 4 prez oh twelve
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:45, archived)
# He's blushing because he has a huge head.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:48, archived)
# oo matron!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# hahahahah!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:48, archived)
# I like this, but I'm not clicking it
but I'm not clicking itbecause I want your most popular one to win . . . C]:0D


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:54, archived)
# that'll learn me
trying to beat down the wrongsayers, they just come back in force and mock me more :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:56, archived)
# I welcome any petti-anarchism that mocks the institutionalism of the Weekly Image Challenge
up or down with this sort of thing (depending on your view-point):D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:05, archived)
# Ha ha! It would be particularly satisfying if it wins
and Eco-Carrots or whatever they're called end up paying your bills.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:09, archived)
# I long for a day when environmentally friendly carrots exist
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:18, archived)
# Ghost Hitler was enjoying the 2010 World Cup
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:10, archived)
# oooOOOoooooOOOooooooOooo
Nice!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:11, archived)
# HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:39, archived)
# Real horns should sound like this
Hoo - ah
Hoo - ah

We'll have none of those cheap South African imports here mister.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:25, archived)
# :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:11, archived)
# Imagine those horns at the Nuremberg rallies
Ein Volk, ein Reich, Ein lästige summen horn
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:13, archived)
# Please do the vuvu that you do so well
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:14, archived)
# Frankie Boyle in The Sun today*
suggested that 'vuvuzela' sounded like the euphemism a middle class family would use with a child to describe a lady's part. As in..

Harriet! We are at the restaurant. Stop scratching your vuvuzela!


*I was having my hair cut - that's why i was reading The Sun - Redsushi will tell you!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# haha any excuse I bet you bought it ;)
But does the word vuvuzela give men the horn?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:29, archived)
# PARP!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:30, archived)
# HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:39, archived)
#
honk
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:42, archived)
# the hairdresser had to pump the seat to lower me
and I was watching her boobs jiggle in the mirror as she did it (she was no looker mind) then I realised that my boobs were jiggling more than hers
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:44, archived)
# pffffft
I'm still flat as a pancake but thankfully Mrs V has enough jigglage for the both of us
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# hehe
TJ: I need to buy a battery charger as my car battery is dead and jump starting it isn't working well.
I just chose one from the Halfords website. Put on my shoes, grabbed my wallet and phone. Grabbed my car keys and oh.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:16, archived)
# D'OH!
Hop on a duck!


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:18, archived)
# I'm loving this new duck theme
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:19, archived)
# they bide their time
watching.
always watching.
and eating bread.
always watching, and eating bread.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:21, archived)
# My friend once gave me the best piece of advice ever
"Try feeding a duck ice cream"

It is truly hilarious
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:43, archived)
# hahahaha!
best saying ever.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:44, archived)
# the results are brilliant
because they love ice cream, but their bills can't handle the coldness

basically they go mental then come back for more
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:51, archived)
# they don't know the way
they need quack-nav
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:20, archived)
# They just go as the crow flies
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# and have you ever seen a crow in Halfords?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:27, archived)
# Use a horse.
Best of all the animals.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:20, archived)
# cor! I love them!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:20, archived)
# Skateboard, dude.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:24, archived)
# You'll find you need a new battery regardless as once you get to the point of it not starting like that, its pretty much dead
Modern car alarms rinse the battery so it means you can't really save them these days :(
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# what Ad7 says
if it won't hold a charge - it's knackered
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:27, archived)
# I only gave it a mile's drive in the hope it woudl be enough
it wasn't, so this is attempt 2 before forking for a new battery
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:29, archived)
# Hang on...
You jump-started, got it running, drove a mile, stopped, and then immediately tried to start it again and it wouldn't?

DON'T buy a battery charger then! Your battery is DEAD. Deceased. It has shuffled off this mortal coil, ... etc

Edit: Just get a mate to drive you to buy a new battery. (Or use a bike, if you're sure you can stop the acid spilling!). New lead-acid batteries are stored dry. When the battery-seller adds the acid, the battery is in its 'charged' state and ready to go. No need for a charger. (If I remember correctly).

When batteries get old, sludge builds up and short-circuits the plates together. Once that happens the battery is no good whatsoever. No amount of charging will bring it back to life.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:39, archived)
# no - I didn't try restarting it. Don't know why - my mind is full of butterflies these days
I'm expecting this, but feel a charger would be useful anyway as we both have diesel cars (yes I have another car, but the Mrs is out and about in mine since I broke hers)

good battery knowledges there!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:46, archived)
# I was in the same situation as you a year ago!
Diesel car wouldn't start after holiday. Paid a fortune (penalty joining rates) to AA to come out and start it, persuaded them to STAY around while I drove around a bit to 'recharge the battery'.

Waste of time & money. The battery was deady dead DEAD!

So I got another jump-start from the AA guy (glad I'd told him to wait!) and drove to a battery supplier (a cheapy tyres / exhausts / battery place).

Result: I still had to spend the £60 for the new battery, but only after wasting £75 on AA membership! Don't do what I did! Phone up the battery supplier and they'll be happy to check the right battery's in stock for you. Then just go and get it.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:54, archived)
# :D
in fact I've done pretty much this thing in the past. Joined the AA on the spot to get them to tell me I needed a new fuse which they didn't carry in stock!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:57, archived)
# Just reach in there and remove the sludge from the plates!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:48, archived)
# can I put the plates in the dishwasher afterwards?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# *mans up*
*reaches in there*

*dies of lead poisoning & acid burns*

Bzzzttt BZZZTTTT!

*reanimates!*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:58, archived)
# ooh - what super powers did you get?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:05, archived)
# yes - my technical helpline (dad) has also suggested this
but its worth getting one anyway.

I left the ignition on all night!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:28, archived)
# Doh!
I had a massive argument with my mate at work about me being able to save the battery. I ave it 24 hours on a charger and it didnt work, I gave it 25 mins car to car power and it worked....only to die once I'd turned it off and tried to fire it up again.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:36, archived)
# I had this problem in a car years ago. I got three blokes to push start me, I drove off,
then remembered I hadn't plugged the alternator back in. I was too embarrassed to ask them to do it again so waited for a while and then got someone else to push me. He was a hitchhiker and I drove him 20 miles to say thanks!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:49, archived)
# take this map


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:26, archived)
# *studies*
oddly - that does look like the centre of Swindon where Halfords is
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:29, archived)
# the other paths lead to a square and a triangle
they should make clearer maps to Sony Playstation's HQ

:D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:30, archived)
# haha :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:17, archived)
# ace :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:17, archived)
[challenge entry] mmm
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:42, archived)
# psst
YOU'RE!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:48, archived)
# haha :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:49, archived)
# eh?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:50, archived)
# hehe
see Herman's post below
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:59, archived)
# Yore!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:52, archived)
# Yaw!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:53, archived)
# You're Yore? Your yaw!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:59, archived)
# Ure
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:08, archived)
# Midge
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:10, archived)
# This means nothing to me
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:12, archived)
# haha Oh Vienna!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:13, archived)
# do do doo doo
pewpew
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:22, archived)
# That's a lovely beret in the background
even in death, the french can be stylish.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:49, archived)
#
stylish useful

actually - sod that - have you seen the pics of Carla Bruni on the beeb today. Phwoar!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:49, archived)
#
stylish useful cowards

That French newsreader is super super fine.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:52, archived)
# Seriously beautiful lady, almost too beautiful.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:07, archived)
# are you suggesting...
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:17, archived)
# racist
the atomic blast in the background is a Bosnian artist. Just because he's wearing a beret he must be french? tsk.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:51, archived)
# Voulez vous coucher avec moi?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:53, archived)
# BONSOIR VOULUVENT
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:54, archived)
# Oh
I assumed it was an ironic nod to EDF and the French as a nuclear nation.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:02, archived)
# It was
I'm just being nonsense
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:07, archived)
# the little people of stone 'enge
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:34, archived)
[challenge entry] :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:37, archived)
# hahahaha
BUT THEY DON'T MAKE WIND!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:38, archived)
# Everyone knows trees do that
waving their branches around.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:42, archived)
# and kites
by getting kids to run after them
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:43, archived)
# no, but they do use power to keep them turning
in low wind conditions.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:45, archived)
# it's same with solar panels
you need to insert batteries into them for night use
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:46, archived)
# Is that Dappy from N-dubzzz?
Woo!


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:39, archived)
# deep down
aren't we all?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:40, archived)
# *pulls insides out*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Denial
that's the first stage
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:41, archived)
# D- see me after class.
You idiot, you're too close.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:39, archived)
# If that IS Dappy . . .
It should be 'Ur'


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:41, archived)
# dappy sez ur stepin on my turf mate
holla yo
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:42, archived)
# or even, 'eurgh'
actually, I think it's Matt Damon
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:42, archived)
# Matt
Damon
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:52, archived)
# hahahahah! top stuff! *clicky!*
"you're too close"
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:40, archived)
# He's doing a Clarkson
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:42, archived)
# Arrff
He looks like an upside down goatse without the ring
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:46, archived)
# I've just had the thought of Goatse
flapping around in the breeze like that

BAD SAUSAGE LADY - BAD GIRL!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:49, archived)
# you're just a massive bag of neuroses!
AICMFP!


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:50, archived)
# actually my roses have died
so I do need to buy some neuroses
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:04, archived)
# Silly Griffy
chocolates can't die
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# *Grins Evilly*
Do you want more ducks Griffy?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:10, archived)
# do you have any other waterfowl?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:14, archived)
# I have a few herons around here somewhere
oooh and some disco swans
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:16, archived)
# disco swans?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:22, archived)
# yes
disco swans
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:32, archived)
# they sounds terrifying!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:51, archived)
# Finally proof of duck/human hybrids
He smells quackers...
Quack
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:29, archived)
# My ducks got no nose!
HONK!
Is he quackers? Yus m'llard


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:32, archived)
# I ought to drake you over the coals for that!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:34, archived)
# you do and I'll have you up in front of the beak!


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:36, archived)
# This is getting very erotic very quickly.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:37, archived)
# stay away from the park!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Just put the court costs on my bill
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:38, archived)
# "Mr Duck began to suspect that Mrs Duck was cheating behind his back"
*Hugs CW* How are you m'lady?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:35, archived)
# hehehe
That's actually my dad!

*hugs back* I'm grand ta good to see you x
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:42, archived)
# this pic is not doing my anatidaephobia any good
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:36, archived)
# *throws small pieces of bread at Griffy*


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:38, archived)
# ooh bread!
aaagh ducks!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:39, archived)
#
DUCK
Uh-oh this one looks angry
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:40, archived)
# Dad's eye view!


(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:41, archived)
# *freezes*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:42, archived)
# The cold, dead eyes of a killer
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:43, archived)
# yay :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:43, archived)
# :D hey you *hugs*
I took lots of photos of ducks on holiday this year!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:47, archived)
# 'lo sausage :)

hurrah for ducks
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:14, archived)
# Hurrah for robots also!
*hugs*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:18, archived)
#
cheeky beakybilly?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:49, archived)
# fantastic!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:06, archived)
# .
I don't really get this challenge, is it just take the piss out of a crisp salesman's wife?


Click for bigger (244 kb)

(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:26, archived)
# This weeks challenge is to unjustly ridicule nuclear power, apparently.
It's clearly LETHAL and it's KILLING EVERYONE.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:32, archived)
# WHAT ABOUT CHERNOBYL I REMEMBER IT LIKE IT ACTUALLY WAS YESTERDAY
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:48, archived)
# *ahem*
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:48, archived)
# EDF may suck
but nuclear seems to be getting a bit of a raw deal. Especially considering the efficiency:pollution ratio compared to others
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:53, archived)
# Godammit, haven't you EVER played STALKER?!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:06, archived)
# This is an excellent point.
We've played the games.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:14, archived)
# We have, babe.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:25, archived)
# Is it a suppository?
I think I might have a human infestation... what should I do?
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:37, archived)
# Jupiter needs to get that
spot looked at.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:38, archived)
# don't worry, it's benign.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:22, archived)
# I love this!
You've captured my sentiments exactly.

"It's a Prius. I can drive like a fuck, and feel good about it."

/breeders!
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:37, archived)
# The Prussian Conservatory Infantry
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:18, archived)
#
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:21, archived)
# :D :D :D
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:24, archived)
# haha
so that's why there are little spikes on top of conservatories. They are Prussian conservatories
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:22, archived)
# I always wondered that!
Woo to the pic :)
(, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 13:32, archived)

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